The Revenge: A Dawna Parody by SilverScreech

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Humor, Parody
Characters:Iggy, Max
Published:2008-10-12 12:11:06
Updated:2008-11-24 21:14:58
Packaged:2021-05-07 01:50:49
Summary:This is a parody of my Dawna fics. It is more serious in nature then most parodies though. The rest of the flock gets tired of Iggy’s attitude, so they decide to get revenge. MUST READ ‘MATCHMAKER’ FIRST!

Table of Contents

1. A Call to Arm
2. Loading the Gun
3. The Final Blow

1. A Call to Arm

The Revenge: A Dawna Parody (Operation Revenge)

A/N: This story refused to not be written. I got so tired of Iggy's new character in my Dawna universe interrupting my Fax moments that I finally decided to give him a good smack down. Obviously this is all blowout of proportion, it's a parody. But it sure helped with my frustration!

Chapter One: A Call to Arms

"I say we just throw him off a cliff."

Max stopped dead in her tracks in the hallway, her shocked eyes turning toward the doorway she'd just passed. The voices were continuing, Max snuck closer. To her surprise, she realized it was Iggy's lab.

"That's not nearly humiliating enough." Fang countered. That was one voice Max could easily decipher.

"I don't necessarily want to humiliate him, Fang. Though that would be a great bonus. I vote we just do him in and be done with it. He's driving me insane." Nudge said angrily Max's brain was going a mile a minute, trying to decipher why Fang and Nudge seemed to be plotting the untimely demise of a random someone.

Max heard a scrapping sound, and then footsteps as Fang walked to the other side of the room. "You scare me sometimes, Nudge." He said.

"You guys are all lucky," Gasman piped up. "At least you don't have to work with him!"

"Still, we don't have to stoop as low as murder, public humiliation would be more effective anyhow. Besides, if Max found out we'd killed him, she'd lock us in a federal prison herself." Fang said.

"It'd still be worth it." Nudge muttered, just barely loud enough for Max to hear.

"Why don't we just have Cannon freeze time around him for a few hundred years?" Gazzy asked, pouting from the sounds of it.

"Or have Angel expose him to some rare strain of fatal virus."

"Nudge, what did I just say about murder? And Gazzy, we're aiming for humiliation here. Nobody'll be around in five hundred years to see his reaction." Fan said. Max could tell he was growing irritable.

"Hey, it's not like you have any brilliant suggestions!" Nudge said, slumping back against a wall.

"I was all for stringing him up by his ankles off the Eifel Tower till you decided to go all homicidal on me and cut the rope while his wings were tied." Fang replied.

"I like the idea of sticking him on a NASA space shuttle stuck in orbit." Gazzy said, an evil smile on his face.

"But then we'd have to send someone up with him to fly the thing and we wouldn't want to trap a pilot up there with him for who knows how long." Fang said, dismissing his theory.

Max broke into a wide smile despite herself. Amateurs. She thought through her grin, then stepped though the doorway. "Hi." She said.

The looks of frozen shock/fear/panic swept over the three. It gave a whole new meaning to the 'deer in the headlight's' look. Gazzy and Nudge had begun to edge toward the back entrance in case a run for their lives became desperatly essential.

Fang recovered first, his well honed mask quickly concealing any other emotion. "Max, hey." It wasn't his best come back.

"Nudge, Fang I've been looking for you everywhere. Why'd you turn your radios off? You do remember that we had a meeting with the heads of the Department of Defense half an hour ago, right?" Max said smirking.

Seeing an out, Nudge took another step toward the door. "Oh, I'm so sorry Max. We must have lost track of time. Of course we'll get right to it, won't we Fang? In fact, why don't we get going right this…"

"Yeah, let's go then." Fans agreed, also moving towards the door as Max's stare hardened. Gazzy gave them both a death glare of utter hatred as they attempted to leave him to face Max's wrath alone.

Of course Gazzy need not have worried, as Max cut short their escape. "What on Earth could be so important that you forgot that the President of the United States of America was coming down for a visit?" It was moments like these that reminded Max why she loved her job.

"Uh… We just…" Nudge stammered, feeling about for a plausible answer.

It was Gazzy that finally said something. "We were discussing various strategies to combat Itex!"

"Really?" Max said, obviously not buying it. "Since when do we want to humiliate Itex rather than destroy it?"

"… Uh, well if no one ever believed in Itex, then there would be no war!" Fang said. Max's smile widened. That was pretty pitiful.

"Uh huh." Max said. If her smile got any wider her face was going to crack.

A second later, Nudge turned to Fang. "Let's…" She said, motioning to the exit.

"Yeah. Jet." Fang said following her towards the hall.

"I'll come!" Gazzy added, hurrying after them.

"Not so fast!" Max yelled. The other three stopped in their tracks and turned guiltily to face her. "What were you really talking about?" She asked though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. Complaints had been reaching her office nearly daily for a month now.

"Iggy." Nudge finally muttered, confirming Max's suspicions.

"I am appalled at you three!" Max shouted, looking each of them scoldingly in the eye. "I'd expect you to have more maturity then to resort to miss using a fellow avian's power just to get petty revenge or hanging Iggy off of a national landmark!"Nudge and Fang concurrently hung their heads. Gazzy had crossed his arms over his chest, trying to appear as small as possible. Yeah, Max loved this job.

"He deserves something MUCH more sinister then that!" Max said, smile still fixed in place. The figures each jumped simultaneously, life threatening lecture surprisingly avoided.

"Really?" Nudge asked hesitantly, as if Max was going to turn around a bite her if she said the wrong thing.

"No freaking duh! Iggy's been a pain in my side for way to long. It's time he was taught a good lesson." Fang was smiling with her now. And Nudge leaned forward eagerly.

"A non-life threatening lesson." Max amended.

"So… you got a plan?" Gazzy asked.

Max nodded. "You better believe it."

2. Loading the Gun

AN: Yes, Iggy's horrid. It's a parody. Don't judge me, it was essential for him to be that way. He'll never be like this in any other story I ever write. I love Iggy. What you think I write Miggy oneshots because I think Max is gunning for them? But he is impossibly hard to write in my Dawna universe. This is my revenge. Also, minor minuscule spoiler warning here for the end of 'Matchmaker'. That is all. : ) –S.S.

Chapter Two: Loading the Gun

"Max, are you sure about this?" Nudge asked nervously, shifting from foot to foot.

"Nope," Max said cheerily, "but even if it doesn't work you're going to get to annoy the hell out of Iggy in the process."

Nudge smiled evilly and nodded. "Fair point."

They'd moved their meeting from Iggy's lab, which Max had pointed out was not the best spot to hold it seeing how it was Iggy's to one of the council chambers used to discuss matters with visiting dignitaries and brief strike team for missions against Itex. The group was in a shockingly good mood. The chance to completely and utterly tick of Iggy did that to people.

Gazzy's smile was perhaps the biggest as he pushed a button on his laptop and a diagram of the caves came up.

"He's in his lab." Gazzy's said. After shooting them all a I told you so look, Max nodded.

"Okay, you all know the plan." Max's smile echoed those of her flock. "Now let's go out there and give that meddling good-for-nothing pyro what's coming to him!"

With cheers and grins everyone ran off to their respective stations.

Let the chaos begin.

Nudge attempted to sneak quietly down the hall towards Iggy's lab.

Attempted, as Nudge is incapable of doing anything without noise. There is a reason she'd been labeled 'Motermouth' by the various populaces of Dawna.

Her miserably muffled giggles echoed down the corridor. Max's plan was dozy. Nudge had never thought she could be so ruthless. She made a mental note to never ever get on her bad side ever again. Well, at least not more so then was absolutely necessary.

But that was in the future; right now she had a mission to complete!

Moments later she arrived at the entrance to Iggy's lab and tried desperately to sniffle her laughter, making one last hopeless attempt to conceal her amusement and make what she had to do as convincing at possible.

"Iggy!" She barked in her best I'm-in-charge-so-don't-mess-with-me impression of Max. The name was out of her mouth before she was even halfway through the doorway. Boy, she was nervous!

The blind pryo was sitting at a desk, his head hunched over a deformed pogo stick thing. Nudge vaguely recognized it from the rantings of a certain Tiger's Eye in the mess cavern last week. Something about unnecessary trouble and… And Nevada. Huh, Nudge really hadn't been paying attention. A small odd-shaped tool sat in his left hand, the device in his right. The second Nudge's call rang through the cave his hand froze above it and he swiveled around to glare in the general direction of Nudge.

"What?!" He screeched angrily, obviously very unhappy about the interruption. His teeth clenched and Nudge could almost imagine he was hissing at her.

"Gazzy's going on and on about this gadget one of the strike squads brought back from the last Itex raid. He's yelping on about… Well, I'm not sure really. I don't understand geek-speak very well, but he made it sound like it was really rather important. He wants you to come down there and help him out."

Iggy's moved his head as if he was rolling his eyes and sighed dramatically, the tool falling from his hand and landing with a 'clunk' on the floor. "Can't you get someone else to do it? Or help him yourself!"

"Sure, I'll go. Right after I get back from the off base meeting I have with the secretary of state, and finish my official reply to the government of France on the subject of covering extra ground overseas and supervising my underlings latest projects, and about a dozen other things." Despite her desperate, somewhat effective attempts at utter sarcasm, Nudge could feel the edges of her mouth begin to turn upward.

Oh no, no, no, NO! I'm going to laugh! She could already feel the disobedient giggle begin to rise in his throat. I told Max I couldn't bluff. I told her that she should have given this assignment to Gasman!

Usually by now Nudge would be laughing her head off, rolling around on the floor feeling her insides burst. But this was way too good a chance to pass up. She had to keep control of herself.

Think of something depressing! Think of death, torture, nuclear war, huger pains… AHG! NOT WORKING!!

If Iggy could detect any of the inner debate Nudge was having with herself he certainly didn't show it. "When did he want me to go down there?" He asked nonchalantly, obviously not caring if he ended up helping Gazzy or throwing him off a cliff.

Do not laugh. Be a jerk. Tell him off. Rile him up. Do. Not. Laugh.

"Um, how does five minutes ago work for you?" She snapped in her best I'm- supremely-ticked-off impression of Max. Max was coming in very handy today… Nudge made a pointed look at her watch even though Iggy couldn't see, it kept her eyes off him for a few minutes so she wouldn't break out hooting like mad.

Iggy gave her his trademark scowl, but stood up anyway and slaked off towards the door, purposely going as slow as physically possible to irritate Nudge. If he had been able to get over himself for the six second it would have taken him to get out of hearing range, the whole confrontation that followed could have been avoided.

Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't…

Iggy was almost out the door when a rather noticeable snort broke through Nudge's resolve.


Iggy turned swiftly on the heel of his boot, glaring in Nudge's direction. "What's so funny?" he asked, voice clouded with suspicion.

Nudge bit her lip, drawing blood in her futile attempt to conceal her oncoming hysterics. "No-nothi-" She cut herself off with a particularly rebellious string of chuckles.

"Are you mocking me?" Iggy spat.

Nudge gulped.

"No! Of course not! It's just… just a joke Fang told me! Yeah, it was really funny and... yeah, I was thinking about it and that's all!"

Stupid STUPID! Like he's gone buy that! Stupid!

Iggy raised an eyebrow, but at least he hadn't become overly hostile. "So, tell it then." He said.

Nudge froze. Stall for time, STALL FOR TIME!

"Um, what?" Nudge said, struggling to keep her voice steady.

"Tell the joke." Iggy clarified.

Nudge felt like throwing up. FANG told a good joke? Where the hell did I come up with THAT!? I'm going in insane. Yeah, that's it. Insane. What the HELL am I going to say?!

Budge groped around for something to say. "Um… So… A man… A man walks into a bar…"

Iggy raised an eyebrow. Nudge gulped.

"A guy walks into a bar… and says ouch!" Nudge mumbled.

Iggy stared at Nudge like she was insane, a fact which Nudge herself was finding more and more likely.

"Get it? Bar. Ouch. Ha Ha." Nudge's nervousness levels were off the charts. Iggy just kept staring at her. "Oh, never mind! Humor is lost on you. Go help Gazzy!" Nudge screeched in a last ditch effort to force Iggy into the trap.

It worked. Iggy merely rolled his eyes and slandered away. As soon as she was sure he was out of ranger, Nudge fell against a computer council with a huge sigh of relief before tapping her radio.

"Hey Fang? If Iggy asks you to tell him a joke say 'a guy walks into a bar and says ouch' OK? Oh, and make it sound as funny as possible.

"A guy walks into a… Nudge. What did you do?" Fang asked accusingly. Nudge smiled guiltily.

"Oh, nothing. I just kinda... sorta.. mighthavestartedlaughingwhioetalkingtohim." Nudge sputtered out.


"Oh, don't worry. He bought it… I think, Anyway, he's headed toward the trap. So I didn't mess anything up, really."

Fang heaved a long, drawn out sigh, releasing a rush of static into Nudge's ear. "Whatever Nudge. Just get your butt down here."

"Don't worry, I wouldn't miss this for the world."

Gasman rushed around the too-small lab, trying to make himself appear useful. Team Fang had hauled in the oversized piece of junk from one of the last missions. It took Gazzy less than an hour to figure out it was just an information hub, but even Iggy would need a little time to examine it. Which was all the rest of them needed…

Actually, this particular hub had a very interesting file on hybrid adaption. As soon as this whole thing was over, he'd have to find time to come down and figure out exactly what it meant but right now he had to stay focused!

As far as Gasman was concerned, Max was going to drive them all prematurely gray. First she's all in command; then she breaks down, then in command, then love struck, and now completely and utterly terrifying. It was like she was stuck in her 'time of the month' ALL the time.

Gasman heaved a sigh and tried desperately to concentrate. His mind had been doing that a lot now, wandering around form place to place. Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him, causing him to jump slightly.

Iggy sauntered in, his nose stuck in the air.

"You rang?" He growled irritably.

Luckily, Gasman was a much better liar then Nudge. It was a sort of acquired art… "As a matter of fact, yes." Gasman said, attempting to be civil. "I cannot get this piece of junk to power up for the life of me." He added, kicking to offending piece of machinery.

Iggy smiled deviously. "So you need my help, do you?"

Gasman bit back a growl. Five minutes. Five minutes and then you can extract all the revenge you want… "yes, now please get to work- or are you too incompetent to figure it out?"

Iggy smiled at the challenge/insult and walked indignantly across the room to the council. Before he could even touch the machine, he let out a giant screech as a invisible noose curled itself around his ankle and flung him skyward.

"Now!" Gasman yelped excitedly into his radio. Two floors up, Team Fang pulled on the rope, yanking their helpless victim out a specially carved window out over the cliff side. Fang himself gleefully tipped a giant pot of goop, a combination created by Angel consisting of glue and peanut butter over their prey, successfully, if temporarily, destroying his ability to fly.

Iggy screeched some more as he realized he couldn't get free. "I DEMAND to be released AT ONCE!!"

He hollered among spouts of cursing.

Fang shrugged. "Works for me!" And let his team drop the rope a couple of feet.

More screeching. "NO! Up. Lift me up IMEDIANTLY!!"

Nudge, who was just arriving, was rolling on the floor with laugher, approaching hysteria. Gasman joined her, his deep chuckles accenting of her high bells. Fang was, luckily for Iggy, able to control himself enough to keep Iggy from tumbling down onto the rocks below.

From a cliff not fifty yards away, Max smiled. She could see Iggy's wiggling form and hear his pleas. She could hear the laughter ringing off the cliffs. See could see the coward of hybrids joining her in observing the spectacle from all levels of the caves. Many were laughing along with the tormenters.

In general, Max was against violence and practical jokes, but this… This was worth it. Besides, it made the rest off her flock happy and successfully put Iggy where she needed him to be for the rest of her plan to work. The others may be perfecly satisfied with where this had gone already. But hers was a much more suitable, and satisfying revenge…

If anyone had happened to be paying much attention anything but the helpless pyro's piercing cries, they might have heard the disturbing laughter crackling from their leader as she partially skipped back down the halls to her office, an evil smile on her face.

3. The Final Blow

Chapter Three: The Final Blow or Never EVER tick off a woman, particularly a super powered head of a mass war base of genetically altered hybrids.

This was the last straw. He was going to get his way or bring hell down upon all of Dawna.

Iggy stomped angrily through the halls, his heavy combat boots echoing eerily down the corridors, a perfect soundtrack to the fearsome scowl that occupied his face.

Soon he reached his destination and stormed into Max's office with all the force and fear of an oncoming tornado. His eyes blazed with unseeing fury.

Max glanced up with forced disinterest from the laptop on a large slab of stone that served as her desk, she gave him a cool once over, then sighed quietly.

Before she could voice her annoyance at his presence, however, he cut her off. "I demand reassignment."

"Excuse me?" Max asked, the fake innocence in her voice extremely convincing.

"I want to be reassigned." Iggy repeated. "Not a year ago you mentioned something about sending small groups off to form study bases and watch towers. I agree with you. I want to establish one. The farther from here the better."

"I wasn't really serious about that Iggy. It was just a threat to keep some of the riley hybrids in line, you know that." Max made her voice harsher then necessary in order to mask her amusement. In all truthfulness it had primarily been to keep him in line, and also to stop Gasman from randomly blowing up various items in the kitchen. Usually while they were being consumed…

Iggy gave Max a glare that clearly said do you think I give a crap? "Well, nevertheless the offer was made. I am fed up with all I am forced to put up with around here! I'm tired of no one respecting me. I'm sick of being labeled as the scapegoat for all our problem and most of all I'm sick of being treated like a freaking village idiot!"

Max blinked. That was actually a lot calmer then she had expected. After an empathic pause for dramatic effect, she sighed. "Well, okay. Your going to have be more specific. Why do you want to leave Dawna? What has you so… aggravated? Maybe this can be resolved without resorting to…"

Iggy didn't let her finish. "Well, for starters; I absolutely hate Nudge. I can't stand it when…"

He went on like this for about an hour or so, droning on and on about various complaints including several about all the Dawna heads and a dozen other people.

"… so, will that do then?" Iggy finally finished, seething.

Max's eyes had glazed over. She shook her head to clear them. "Huh? Oh, yeah."

Iggy took a breath, then another. He hadn't thought Max would agree with him. "Seriously?" He asked, his voice clearly stating his eagerness.

Max sighed dramatically. "Well, if you really feel that way…"

"Of course!"

"…then I suppose it is better…"

He did wait to let her finish her sentence or even find out where he was going. Iggy practically skipped out his room with glee and headed toward his quarters to pack. The idiot suspected nothing.

It took all of three hours for news of Iggy's departure to spread through Dawna's rapid fire gossip trains. Most people thought it too good to be true, but those that believed it began planning a celebration extravaganza the likes of which Dawna had never seen. Therefore it didn't take long for the word to reach a certain Dr. Martinez (who had become the official government connection in all things hybrid) to catch wind of the situation.

Within a day of finding out, Dr. M caught an express plane to the nearest airport around Dawna and called Fang to come pick her up. Mere hours later, see was standing, rather amused but condemning, in front of Max's desk.

"Max, honey, is it true that you're going to let a commanding member of Dawna, Iggy, I believe, to leave Dawna and support an outpost all on his own?" She was trying, but Max could easily sense the poorly masked accusation in her mother's tone.

"Yep." Max replied, concealing a smile. The happy air of her words got her message across though.

"You know, sweetie, that I can't support this decision." Dr. M said softly, frowning.

"Trust me, mom. This will solve a lot of problems." Max said, giggly smirk gone and replaced by a more serious expression.

Dr. M frowned deeper. "Max… I know Iggy has done nothing but complain. But he's a value member of this compound and, quite frankly, I'm going to be the one who has to put up with his gripping when he regrets leaving and begins to question your authority… Well, if I have to listen to one more lecture on irresponsibility from that pompous, over-zealous jerk I swear…" She sighed deeply and leaned her head against the wall.

"Trust me, Mom. We won't have to deal with Iggy's complaining for a while yet." Max said, smile back. She handed Dr. M a printed piece of paper with navigation directions on them.

Dr. M scanned it once, then echoing Max's smile, she nodded and walked away.

Two hours later, Iggy took off into the sky, not once looking back.

As soon as he was for sure out of hearing range all of Dawna erupted in cheers.

Max herself stood on the outcrop from which he'd departed, a knowing smile on her face. When she finally turned around, she found all three of the other conspirators staring slacked jawed up at the spot Iggy's form had recently disappeared from.

"Whoa." It was all Nudge could manage. The others were even worse off, merely nodding their assessment.

Max plastered a confused expression on her face. "What?"

"What a plan." Fang said, adding a wolf whistle for good measure.

Max smiled widely. What else was she going to do? Fang paid her a complement!

"Thanks. I've been working on it for some time now. I never thought I'd actually get to use it, though…"

"I just can't believe he actually fell for it! He didn't suspect a thing!" Nudge gasped out, finally locating her voice.

"Why didn't my plans to get rid of him ever work that well?!" Gasman exclaimed. He forced out his bottom lip and crossed his arms angrily.

"We'll never have to put with him ever again!" Nudge exclaimed, leaping into the air.

Max sighed. "Sorry Nudge. I hate to burst your bubble, but I think we'll be seeing Iggy back here very soon."

The three just stared at her.

"What?" Gasmna asked, sounding like a little kid who'd just been told he wasn't going to get a birthday party this year because money was tight.

Max sighed, then handed Fang a piece of paper exactly like she'd shown Dr. Martinez. Fang frowned as he read, the other two copying him over his shoulder.

Fang's brow furrowed suddenly. "Is this.."


Gasman stared a little longer, then suddenly he got it. "OH!"

Nudge stood at his side, glaring at the paper. "What? I don't…"

Max sighed and told her.

Nudge's eyes grew to the size of saucers and grinned so wide she hurt her face.

She's good. Was the unanimous thought as Max slandered away.

For exactly three days, everything was peaceful in Dawna. In fact it was the quietest time the entire compound had ever experienced.

Eventually, though, all good things must come to an end. And the hybrid on look out yelled the dreaded word.

"Incoming!" Silver shouted from her post. A few seconds later she shouted again, this time glumly. "It's Iggy, Madam."

A collective groans heard throughout Dawna. Max tried to suppress a grin for the groaners benefits. This was going to be good.

A dirt-clad figure with leaves and random pieces of brush sticking to his cloths leaded (or rather crashed) onto the landing cliff. Giggling replace the groans. Max refused to let herself smile. Ah, the sweet smell of victory. Or was that swamp water?

The figure sloshed up to her desk, leaving a trail of wet mud out of her office. Max took a deep breath and slowly looked up.

Only to nearly lose it in a fit of hysterical laughter.

Iggy was covered, head to toe, in a coarse green slim which was dripping from everything, including the tip of his nose. His clothes were ripped and tattered beyond repair. Some sorts of pond scum inhabiting his hair caused it to stick out at an awkward angle. On top of all this, Iggy appeared to be trying for furiously intimidating but was really only making hilariously funny.

To her credit, Max was able to control herself, which was more than could be said for Maxwell, Cannon, and Sparkler who were guarding her office. Instead Max forced a seamless expression of surprise.

"Iggy. That was fast." She intoned in an air of innocence. "What happ…"

"The Southern Outpost." He spat, ignoring whatever she was about to say.

"Yes, that was your destination. Did you not arrive safely?"

"Oh, I arrived all right!" He screeched, a large glop of pond scum hit the floor with a resounding splat.

"Then what is the problem?" Max asked, folding her hands in her lap.

"Because it just so happened to be the place of study for Dinosauria hybrids! You set me into freaking Dinotopia!!"

Max pulled on her best fake shock expression. "Really? Are you all right?"

Iggy glared at her harshly. "Yes, really!" He snarled, ignoring her question. "Not even an hour after I reached the location you assigned me to I staggered upon a nest, not realizing what I had stumbled upon," Iggy scowled hard "I continued forward to examine them at which point I managed to upset a very protective Mama Tyrannosaurus Rex!" Iggy didn't notice Max raise her hand to cover her delighted smirk, but plowed on. "I had to plow through the swamp gunk for days before I could find a spot dry and clear enough for takeoff. It's amazing I escaped with my life!"

He went on like this for a few minutes, blabbering and ranting on various subjects revolving around his desolation and almost-demise. Max kept her face a stony mask, the only emotion betrayed being a 'and you expect me to do what exactly?' expression and an occasional cocked brow questioning his sanity.

After a moment, Iggy stopped ranting, apparently having run out of subject matter, and just glared at Max furiously. The glaring contest ensued for about a minute.

Finally Max broke the glare. "Well, you did ask for this Iggy."

Iggy continued glaring. "Are you saying this is my fault?!" He hissed angrily. Suddenly Iggy was hit with the pronoun sense that the protective mother dinosaur wasn't the only female trying to do him in today.

Max allowed herself a grin, one that, if she was being honest, she would have to admit was slightly more than a bit condescending. "It's certainly wasn't my fault you took off out of my office before I had a chance to explain your destination."

Iggy blinked for a second, standing dumb founded before realizing she was completely correct. He ignorantly decided to disregard this fact. "I wasn't the one who sent a member of her own family in a bad remake of Jurassic Park, Maximum." He spit out her name as if it were a bad taste in his mouth he was desperate to be rid of.

Now sufficiently angered, Max rouse to her feet. "Excuse me Iggy," She said, imitating his tone to highlight his own stupidity. "I'm afraid that you have been unhappy with every new development since we established Dawna. Even when I allow you your way, something is amiss. This leads me to believe you are purposely trying to land those who you happen to dislike into trouble or you are simply trying to ensure that no one will ever mistake you for someone with an IQ over 100! Obviously I never meant for you to come to harm, but make no mistake, you brought this tragedy on yourself. You demanded to be reassigned! You didn't care where you went! You managed to aggravate every female on this planet, including that irritable dinosaur!" She paused for a second to collect herself as she allowed this all to sink in. "Now, what exactly do you propose I do about it?"

Iggy looked like she had decked him. Repeatedly. He fished around for a response but found nothing. He could even manage a 'this isn't over' sneer.

Smiling slightly at him, Max suddenly whipped out a stop watch from under her desk and pressed the button.

"Seventy-eight hours, fifty-three minutes and forty-seven seconds!"

Iggy frowned curiously.

"BOO YEAH!" A voice rained through the hall, a meow-like screech in the almost dark. Seconds later Nudge, Fang, Gazzy, and Tiger's Eye all tumbled into Max's office. Tiger's Eye had a piece of paper with 'Seventy-five hours, thirty-seven minutes' written on it pierced through a claw on her right hand which she preceded to wave around triumphantly.

Nudge huffed and slouched into a chair by the wall. "I could have sworn he'd just last thirty." She mumbled.

Fang shrugged. "I only gave him fifteen."

"Congratulations, Tiger's Eye." Max said with a smile. "I put forty-eight hours."

"You-you-you all knew!? You knew I was in that ghastly swamp, likely to die?! You took bets?! You-you did this on purpose!!!" Iggy seethed.

Max turned back, still smiling to face the furious pyro. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Iggy." She said, her face now a stone cold mask of seriousness. "I expect a full report on my desk by tomorrow morning."

Strangely, Iggy wasn't to complain about Nudge, Fang, Gasman, or even Tiger's Eye for the next few weeks, and when a position became open for a real transfer as liaison to the government, Iggy took the job before you could say 'IT'S ABOUT TIME!'