The Iggster in action by VampiressE12B

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Humor, Parody
Published:2008-04-21 17:19:31
Updated:2009-02-24 19:16:46
Packaged:2021-04-22 03:08:57
Summary:I figured Iggy doesnt get enough love, so this is a story full of oneshots all about somthing stupid and random that our favorite blind pyro bird boy does!

Table of Contents

1. Iggy: Secret agent
2. Falling
3. Toilet paper
4. Secret agent two
5. Sneak away
6. Salsa dancing in the wind!
7. Notice
9. Not a hippopatumus
10. A very bad feeling

1. Iggy: Secret agent

Iggy: Secret Agent

AN/ look at that! Two updates in one day!! Well there are even more coming people!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride

Max's POV

Fang, Angel and I were sitting around the fire, roasting hot dogs. Wait a minute!! Where were Iggy, Nudge, and Gazzy? I looked in all directions trying to find them. Just when I was about to voice my concerns, I heard Nudge singing.

"Iggy! Secret aggeennnt!" Then Gazzy joined in.

"Dun. Dun. Dunnnn."

"Iggyyy!!" Nudge sang again. "Secret AGGGEEENNNTT!!"

Then Iggy rolled out of the bushes in…why was he wearing Fang's extra clothes? He was holding his hands like a gun.

"Iggy! Secret agenttt!"

"Dun! Dun! Duuunn!"

Iggy did a whole bunch of flips and rolls and dodges in the trees while Nudge and Gazzy continued his little theme song. Was he imitating James bond or something? Then came the big finish.

"IGGGGYYYYY!!" Nudge sang as loud as she could possibly be capable of, but then, you couldn't be to sure with that girl.

"Dun! Dun! Dun! DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!" Gazzy finished. Iggy was standing in front of us with his arms outstretched. Angel burst out laughing.

"That was…interesting." I said, trying to find the right words. As always, fang knew exactly what to say.

"Dude, What are you on?"

AN/ so, how do you like it so far? I just decided lately that I should stop neglecting Poor Iggster so much.

2. Falling


AN/ haha, now max cant say that no ones ever fallen out of a tree any more!!

Disclaimer: I don't own maximum Ride. Teardrops!!

Nudge's POV

It was my turn to take watch. For the first time!! Max and Fang said that I could now that I was 12. I was sooo excited, but I was real nervous too. What if I fell asleep? Max would be sooo mad at me. I didn't want Max to get mad at me. I mean, she was like the mother I never had!

Any way, so I was real nervous and I was terrified up all alone by myself. I started singing "Girlfriend" to keep myself calm. When suddenly, I heard a loud crash! I screamed and jumped two feet in the air.

Max jumped to her feet. "What happened?" she yelled. Then we all turned toward the noise and there was Iggy, asleep on the ground snoring.

"Oh great, he fell out of a tree." She sighed. There was a moment of silence before fang spoke.

"How he can sleep through that, I'll never understand."

AN/ not as funny as the last one. But oh well.

3. Toilet paper

Toilet Paper

AN/ Okay, so I was really really bored. Can you tell when I'm bored writing? I think that's when I write my strangest things…

Disclaimer: Me: Do I look like James Patterson to you?

Samm: YESS!!

Me: Gasp! I do not look like an old man!

Third person

"MMMAAAXXX!!" Iggy screamed, coming out of the bathroom. Oh jeeze, He was crying again. "How! How could you do this to me?" I was going to have to approach this calmly. We were all suspecting drug abuse for the reason that Iggy was acting so strange.

"Do what, Iggy?" I asked cautiously. He pouted. Wow, now that's creepy.

"THERE IS NOO MORE TOOOIIILLLEEETTT PPPAAAPPPERRR!!" He screamed. "How could you do this to me? How could you use up all the toilet paper, Max?" Me? Why the heck was he blaming me for this? I smacked my forehead.

"I just bought some yesterday, Iggy." I said, rubbing my head. I swear, I was getting headaches dealing with this guy. "Lets go check." I said. I walked to the bathroom, Iggy trailing behind me, still crying. Don't ask me why.

I opened the cupboard. There were FIVE packages of toilet paper! FIVE!!

"Iggy! There is a freaking years supply of toilet paper in there!" I yelled. I turned to face him. His face was now completely devoid of tears. He just looked at me calmly for a moment.

"But I don't like that kind." Fang popped his head in the bathroom door.

"Dude, are you sniffing something." I shot him a death glare and he left. I guess I was going toilet paper shopping.

4. Secret agent two

Secret agent: Part II

AN/ for some strange reason, I was compelled to do a sequel for this one. And yes people, I realize that the other one said that it was to be in third person, it was a simple typing error. I started this in fourth hour (writing out just the title and Pov) and continued in 5th and on the bus; I didn't notice it when I typed it up. So please please Please stop pointing it out. I'm hoping no one will notice. So lets just pretend you didn't. By the way, I started a blog; the link is on my pro.

Disclaimer: I am not James Patterson.

Max's POV (Look! I got it right!)

We were staying at a hotel again. It's really annoying because I can't just fly to a different tree when Nudge starts singing Fergalisiuos in her sleep. And poor Fang, he goes through torture with his OCD. (I love giving him OCD. I know, I'm weird.)

Iggy fang and Gazzy were downstairs getting some food from the vending machine. Angel was taking a shower and Nudge was watching American Idol. Total was grumbling about some girl on the show's hair.

Suddenly, Iggy burst through the door. Nudge immediately started to sing his little theme song.

"Iggy!! Secret agggeeennnttt!!" I clamped my hand around her mouth.

"What on God's green earth are you doing!?" I asked, glaring pointlessly at him.

"Being a secret agent." He said, pointing his gun shaped hands at me. "BANG!" I just glared at him. "Rats! I'm out of ammo." He said, before cartweeling out of the door. I heard a loud crash come from the hallway.

"Ouch." I heard him whimper. I rolled my eyes. Fang's head popped through the door. His mouth was open, as if to deliver another drug related comment, but I gave him a glare that shut it immediately.

"Can some one get me a band aid?" Iggy called from out in the hall. Fang Magically produced two boxes of children's band-aids.

"Sponge bob, or Barbie?"

AN/ I know it was short. Please don't ask me to make them longer, because I only make them as long as they are. I can't magically come up with more words for a story that's over.

5. Sneak away

Sneak Away

AN/ SO this is basically me getting you guys a little info about the next part. This is only part of one adventure, but I think you'll want to read the rest more after reading this part. I KNOW ITS SHORT!

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it, I'm gonna go sit in a corner and cry now.

Max's Pov

It had been suspiciously normal these last couple days. Either Iggy was over his sudden bought of insanity, or he was plotting something even worse. It was my turn to take watch this third night of normalness. I noticed Iggy and Nudge sneaking away.

"Hey!" I called. "Where do you two think you're going?" I glared at them, glad that my glare would actually have some kind of effect on Nudge.

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…." For once, the famous Nudge was speechless. Shocker.

"The store?" Iggy offered.

"YEAH!" Nudge agreed, nodding her head vigorously.

"For what?" I asked suspiciously.

"Something." Iggy said vaguely. (AN/ Not that something you pervs! Nudge is only 12! )

"Bye!" He said, before he whipped out his wings, grabbed Nudge's hand, and they were just specks in the dark night's sky. I could barley hear her shriek of shock they had flown up so fast.

AN/ yeah, halfway through I realized what it sounded like they were sneaking out for. (Nervous laughter) wanted to make sure you guys remembered that this is a parody. Lol.

6. Salsa dancing in the wind!

Salsa Dancing In the wind

AN/ Sooo, I finally updated. Notice the very creative chapter title. I know, I'm shocked that I actually thought of it.

Disclaimer: V: Weeeeeee whooooossshhh

Mom: What you doing?

V: Flying.

Mom: Honey, you can't fly.

V: your soooo meannnnn!! My characters can fly.

Mom: Honey, you're not James Patterson.

V: Can I be Max then?

Mom: sigh sure


Mom muttering no he's not.

Max's Pov

I was just banking the fire the next morning, when out of nowhere, I heard….was that? Salsa dancing music?? I turned this way and that way, searching for the source of the strange sound. It didn't seem to be coming from anywhere. Fang magically popped up beside me.

"Please tell me you hear that too, and that I'm not going crazy?" he said. I patted his head.

"Now, just because I hear salsa music too, doesn't mean that last parts not true." I said, apologetically. He glared at me and I immediately stopped patting his head. Just then, Iggy and Nudge burst out of the trees in what I presumed to be salsa-dancing outfits.

Nudge held a bag open and produced two cans of actual salsa. They then proceeded to salsa dance with ACTUAL CANS OF SALSA ON THEIR HEADS! I'm not kidding folks. These bird kids were dancing and balancing salsa at the same time. When they were done with their little salsa, they stood back and took a bow. Gazzy and Angel started applauding. When did they come into the story you ask? Well, they were here all along. They were just being quiet little bird kids.

"Ummm, that was very…"

"Interesting." Fang finished for me. I snapped my fingers at him.

"YEAH! That's it! Interesting."

"Happy to have helped."

AN/ I realize that it was short. Any ideas? Please help me!

7. Notice



This is a bbbiiiigggg biiiiigggg notice!

Its time for the previews…..

(Big Voice) Now in theaters!! (Dun Dun dundun dun dun duuuunnn) Brought to you by VampiressE12B and Duskgrowlthevampire's joint account, VandDuskgrowlcatnip.

Collision Course!! (Dun dun dundun dun dun DUUUUNNN!)

When Dusk's flock meet Max's flock, multiple new changes occur. New pairings are formed. New pairings such as Dalco, Bliggy, Bludge, Klazzy, and Rangle. Not to mention, the ever-popular FAXXXNNNEESSS! (Echo in background. Faxness Faxness Faxness!!)

What makes this new story SO appealing, is the authors. This is a quite overdone plot, but never has it been attempted by a joint account. This story is written by a hilariously random parody author, and an author who writes incredibly intensely and actually knows how to write a romantic chapter, whereas the parody author couldn't write a drama to saver her pathetic life.


(Dunnnn dun dundun dun dun duuuuuunnnn!!)


PS. Haha, that was fun….



AN/ I have no idea where this idea came from, I could just be crazy, by the way check out my profile.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Maximum Ride. Cries.

Max's POV

I woke up the next morning to see a huuuugggeee line of people. It was leading to a building shaped like a waffle, that wasn't there when I went to sleep the night before. Where had all these people come from? We were in the middle of FREAKING nowhere!! I went all the way to the front of the line, and stopped dead when I saw who was managing the freaky waffle booth.

Iggy was standing there, in one of those weird, icecream man suits, selling plates of waffles to people.

"Bu bye now." He said, to a lady in a purple dress, handing her a plate of chocolatechip waffles.

"Iggy, what are you doing!" I shrieked. Fang snapped up into an upright position. His eyes fell upon the waffle shaped stall.

"What. The. He…" he was cut off by Iggy screaming.

"FREE WAFFLES FOR EVERYBODY!!" He threw waffles up in the air. The thousands of people lined up cheered and reached up to grab as many waffles as humanly possible.

"YAY WAFFLE MAN!!" They screamed.

"Just doing my job." Iggy said. I smacked my head. Idiot.

"Someone's been eating too many waffles." Fang said, before laying back down and going back to sleep.

9. Not a hippopatumus

Not a Hippopotamus

AN/ YYYAAAYYY MORE UPDATES!! This is so much fun!

Disclaimer: sigh, I'm so done with this thing. I don't own the freaking book

Max woke up with a start. She looked around her to see whose strange mutters had woken her up. Her eyes fell on Iggy, two branches away, twisting around and muttering in his sleep. She flew over to that branch and shook him until he woke up.

"Wha?" he said, slightly disoriented from the rude awakening.

"What's wrong, Ig?" Max asked. Iggy was suddenly fully awake. He grabbed Max's shoulders.

"Listen to me, Max." He said. "I am NOT a hippo potumus. Okay?"


"NOT A HIPPOPOTUMUS!" Iggy yelled, shaking her.

"OKAY OKAY!! Your not a hippopotamus I get it!"

"Okay, good." Iggy said. "Night." He rolled over on his branch and went back to sleep. Max waited a moment, before flying back to her own branch and snuggling in for a good night's sleep.

Before she drifted into unconsciousness, she could have sworn she heard Fang make a remark.

"You LOOK like a hippocampus, Iggy…"

But then again, she could have been dreaming.

10. A very bad feeling

A Bad feeling

AN/ hahahh updates!! BWHAHAHAH I am filled with all that is evil!!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING cept my own evilness..ness

The flock was visiting Max's Mom and Ella. As soon as they got there, Iggy continued on his weirdness.

Max shook her head and walked over to hug her mom, who was holding out a chocolate chip cookie that smelled like heaven.

That night went by with nothing too odd to report. Although there was a point in time when Iggy refused to eat a certain green bean because he was positive that it was purple with green polka dots.

Never mind the fact that he's BLIND

Max went to sleep that night the the feeling that tomorrow was bound to be extremely strange.

AN/ she has no idea….