The lists by rainbowstrike

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Family, Humor
Characters:V. Martinez
Published:2009-06-30 06:52:57
Updated:2009-07-18 07:15:37
Packaged:2021-04-22 02:54:23
Summary:Dr. Martinez has had enough. She decides that the kids need to have some ground rules, and so she puts up lists for each child around the house, stating what they are no longer allowed to do. R & R, rated T just in case.

Table of Contents

1. Prologue: enough is enough
2. Chapter One: Max gets her list
3. Chapter Two: Iggy gets Gaz to read his
4. Chapter Three: Figgy & Fnick read Fang's
5. Chapter Four: Nudge rambles and reads
6. Chapter Five: Gazzy and Max reading time
7. Chapter Six: Angel & Total read & ignore
8. Chapter Seven: Total & Iggy reading time
9. Chapter Eight: Iggy & Ella read together
10. Chapter Nine: The flock is changing
11. Chapter Ten: The rebellion begins
12. Chapter Eleven: Plan Awesome phase 2
13. Chapter Twelve: The grand Finale!

1. Prologue: enough is enough

I've had this thought in my brain for a while. I'm doing the chapters in this order; Max, Iggy, Fang, Nudge, the Gasman and Angel. Age order. Any ideas for future lists, please leave them in a review. I'll be sure to credit you. :)

Note; this first chapter is very short. It's intended to be that way. Look out for the second chapter (which will be much longer) very soon.


Dr. Valencia Martinez looked around at the gathered avian kids, her face, for once, unsmiling. Max was staring at the ground, as was Fang. Iggy was gazing out the window (not seeing anything of course), and the younger kids were staring at her. Valencia tried her hardest not to look at them- the puppy eyes killed her every time.

"You know why you're all here," she began, her voice stern. She very purposely looked at her daughter, Max. Partly because she was her daughter, and partly because it meant she wouldn't have to look at Angel, Gazzy or Nudge. Those kids were skilled in getting their way. But not this time!

"I understand that you kids weren't brought up properly with rules and whatnot, but it's time for me to put my foot down. I'm going to put up some lists tomorrow morning, telling you what you may no longer continue to do in my household." Her eyes trailed over every child, and Valencia saw Iggy's hand rise into the air.

"Gazzy will read yours to you." Dr. Martinez finished, and Iggy lowered his hand. "Are we clear?" the kids nodded, and Valencia smiled. "Okay, now that that's over, how about some ice cream?" she asked. Suddenly, Dr. Martinez was flooded with ice cream flavour requests, and she laughed. She wasn't the bad guy anymore, thank god. She hated laying down the law, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Tomorrow, the first of the lists would be up.
Sure, Dr. Martinez could've put them up today, but she figured they could have just one more day of 'freedom'.

Like I said. Very short. I don't expect you to review after just one chapter, haha, especially one this short. But be on the lookout for chapter #2!

2. Chapter One: Max gets her list

And here's our first 'real' chapter; Max's list.

Rain: Hey Max?
Max: Yeah?
Rain: Wanna disclaim for me?
Max: Sure.

Max: Rain does not own Maximum Ride. Everything belongs to JP. Back to you, Rain.
Rain: See? I own nothing, so says Maximum Ride herself. So don't sue.

Dr. Martinez tacked up her eldest daughter's list to the wall, the first of 6 lists, 5 of which were still to come. She'd decided to space out the lists a little, and give them time to adjust. Smiling to herself, she went to go put on a pot of coffee. She wondered how her recently-discovered child would react to her list...

Max, bleary eyed and bushy-haired, stepped into the corridor when she heard her Mom's footsteps. For a moment, she watched her mother walk away, and then she sprinted for her list. Frowning, she began to read.

List of things Maximum Ride is no longer allowed to do;

Number one: No more jumping the hairy-looking cashier at the grocery store. I happen to like shopping there, and I don't want you to get me banned for life.

"That was one time!" Max exclaimed, crossing her arms angrily.

"Actually, it was twice." Max screamed and jumped into the air. Fang chuckled, appearing out of nowhere. Max turned around and glared at him.

"Whatever." She grumbled, turning back to her list.

Number two: You are not allowed to inspect each and every pizza box we receive. It does not matter that one exploded in our faces- chances are that won't happen again.

"I was being precautionary!" she cried.

"Does your precautionary acts include stealing a slice from each box you 'inspected'?" Fang asked. Max rolled her eyes.

Number three: No more races around the neighbourhood. Everyone already knows how fast you are, and the neighbours are starting to talk about the huge bird that flies at amazing speeds, and looks sort of deformed.

"I'm not deformed." Max huffed. Fang was trying to smother his laughter, and failing miserably.

"Deformed..." he chuckled.

"Shut up." Max replied.

Number four: No more cooking. Ever. Unless Iggy/myself/someone who can put toast on without setting the toaster on fire is with you.

"Is anyone ever going to let me forget that?" Max asked Fang. He shook his head, and Max sighed.

"I suppose that's a fair enough rule." She relented. "But I am not deformed!"

Number five: No one wants to see you and Fang kissing. And Iggy does not want to hear it. Keep it low-key, sweetie.

"Heh... oops. That one is kinda my bad." Fang said with a grin. Max smacked his shoulder lightly.

"That better be on your list, too." She said with a smile as he took her hand.

Number six: Using your leader status to give you leverage over Fang or Iggy in an argument is not nice. No more, please.

"Yeah. I should've got that last hotdog." Fang said.

"But I'm the leader." Max said in mock-seriousness. "All hotdogs belong to me." Fang rolled his eyes.

Number seven: I know you have a history with Fang and red-heads, but insulting random red-haired girls from afar is no longer allowed.

"But... I don't like them..." Max muttered.

"Max?" Fang asked.


"Do you have red hair?"

"Of course I don't. Geez, are you suddenly blind, like Iggy? Man, we'll have to get him to show you the ropes." Max said sarcastically.

"What I meant was; I like you don't I? Brown-and-blonde-streaked-hair and all." Max smiled.

Number eight: I want my cookies to last more than an hour after I bake them. Just once. Please?

"Your Mom's right there. I think it's getting to the point where we'll have to sign you up to CA." Fang said thoughtfully.

"CA?" Max asked.

"Cookie-holics anonymous."

Number nine: My colleague Dr. Berns is not Ter Botch's brother. Quit asking him if he has siblings that work in evil institutes. Especially in front of his wife.

Max grinned.

"Actually... that one was a dare..." she laughed. "I think it was Gazzy who said it first, right?" Fang nodded.

Number ten: You are not allowed to use your fear of hospitals as an excuse to get out of having your shots. I don't want you to get sick, young lady.

"Heh, young lady..." Max rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.

"I don't like needles." She sighed. "But I guess I don't want to contract some horrible disease because I refused to get a shot."

"I'm glad you agree." Both bird-teens spun around in surprise, finding Dr. Martinez smiling at them. She had a cup of coffee in one hand, a magazine in the other. "Like the list?"

"I am not deformed." Max said with a frown. "And the kissing was all Fang's fault! I swear!" she pointed a finger at Fang, who was grinning sheepishly. Dr. Martinez rolled her eyes.

"Love you, honey." She said, walking away. Max glanced at her list again, and sighed.

"Damn..." she murmured. "Oh well. I'm going back to bed." She yawned, and Fang chuckled.

"Bye Max." He said, going into the kitchen to find something to eat. Maybe there was some leftover pizza in the fridge...

I'm only doing ten rules. Max is kinda hard to make rules for. I think Fang will be too. I want to make these chapters better, so please, ideas?
~rain, over and out.

3. Chapter Two: Iggy gets Gaz to read his

Thank you for all your amazing reviews and suggestions!
This chapter is Iggy's list, so I'll be using a few suggestions from LE trex! Thanks a ton, here's your credit. Your ideas are great- I'll be using quite a few.

Rain: Iggy, care to disclaim?
Iggy: Rain owns zilch. Can I go now?
Rain: hehe, I think I'll keep you around...
Iggy: -gulps-

Valencia Martinez stood back and looked up at Iggy's list, sitting on the wall next to Max's. This one had been quite easy to put together; Iggy had a few bad habits that needed to be straightened out if she wanted to keep her house intact...

Iggy yawned, stretching and getting out of bed. He walked over to his dresser and grabbed a random shirt (blue, he realised), and pulled it over his head. Running his fingers through his messy strawberry-blonde hair, he headed into the hallway and towards the kitchen.

"Morning, Iggy." He heard Dr. Martinez say.

"Hey Dr. M." He replied, going for the fridge and reaching for where the milk was kept. He then went to the cupboard and grabbed a glass. With perfect aim, he poured the milk to the brim and downed it in one sip.

"You know your list is up." Dr. Martinez told him. Iggy froze.

"Can I go wake up Gazzy?" he asked. A few moments of silence passed.

"Oh, I'm nodding, Iggy." She remembered, and then laughed. Iggy ran back into the hall and knocked on Gazzy's door.

"Uhhh. G'away!" the Gasman groaned from inside.

"Gaz, my list's up. Need you to read it to me." He called. Gazzy grumbled something about inconsiderate blind avians and opened his door. Iggy stepped back and waited for the Gasman to lead him to the lists.

"Hey, Max's list is already up. Mine's not yet, it's just yours and hers. Huh... ahaha! Good job, Dr. M! No more kissing between Fang and Max... haha, deformed bird..." Gazzy chuckled.

"Hey Gaz, not to be rude..."

"Oh right, sorry. Okay, so... List of things Iggy is no longer allowed to do...

Number One: No. Bombs. Ever. Under any circumstances. Not only could you be arrested for terrorism, but I like my house the way it is, and I do not want it accidentally blown up." Gazzy read. Iggy stared at him in indignation.

"She should have more faith in us." He said.

"Definitely. And Max's birthday cake bomb was a one-off... and we cleaned it all up, right?" Gazzy agreed.

"What's the next one?" Iggy pressed.

"Number Two: You are not to use your disability as an excuse to get out of housework. We all know you're completely capable, mister."

"Heh..." Iggy grinned. "Damn, I thought I'd get away with it a bit longer... Next one?"

"Number Three: No more inappropriate jokes centred around Fang and Max around the kids. You can't think them when Angel's around, either."

"Yeah... I guess it's sorta getting old seeing as you guys don't understand them... Maybe just around Max and Fnick then..." Iggy mused.

"You still haven't told me what 'it' means." The Gasman pointed out.

"Uh... Next rule?"

"Number Four: It does not take half an hour to go to her room and ask Ella if she wants to watch a movie. You missed the start of 'Twilight'."

"Movies don't really do much for me anyway. And Ella had already seen it..." Iggy trailed off, a blush spreading over his cheeks.

"Iggy and Ella... sitting in a tree-" Gazzy sang.

"Next one!"

"Number Five: Fang and Max do not appreciate you 'accidentally' walking in on them while they are alone."

Iggy laughed, and told the Gasman to read the next one.

"Number Six: the Gasman is too young to go to the beach with you, and describe the local girls. Take Fang if you're feeling that deprived."

"Maybe you shouldn't be reading this list..." Iggy said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Number Seven: No matter how mean a person is to Ella at school; that is no excuse to fly over their house and drop explosives into their backyards. I do not want to get sued, thank you."

"But that Sarah Malkie person is a jerk. She deserved it. And they were tiny explosions!" Iggy protested.

"They made a huge sound and looked really cool, though." The Gasman said. Iggy slapped him a high-five.

"Yeah they did." He agreed. "What's next on the list?"

"Number Eight: Total is not your seeing eye dog. I know this, and everyone else knows this, so no matter how much he bribes you- no, you cannot take him with you whenever we go to the movies. Dogs are not allowed, and he almost got us thrown out last time."

"Those movie guys were stupid- why would a blind kid go to the movies anyway? Besides, if Total had stopped talking, he wouldn't have got us in trouble." Iggy shrugged. "So that one wasn't really my fault, although it was worth it."

"What did Total give you?" the Gasman asked.

"Um... never mind." Iggy said, thinking about how Total had played 'little lost dog' at the beach, and a girl he deemed 'very hot' had 'found' him...

"Number Nine: 'Toast' is not a suitable dinner option. Either volunteer to cook dinner and cook something relatively dinner-like, or don't volunteer at all."

"Hey, I don't think that's fair. I've only done that... um... a few times?" Iggy said.

"I dunno." Gazzy shrugged.

"And I cook all the time. So what if I make toast a few times?"

"Because you only cooked us one round of toast, and then went with Ella to get ice cream. Max had to cook it... and the toaster caught fire... it's like chain reaction, or whatever." Gaz explained.

"Hm... fair enough. Next rule." Iggy relented.

"Number Ten: Do not use your hearing to listen to anyone's conversations."

"But how else am I supposed to know if Ella talks about me on the phone to her friends?" Iggy muttered to himself. "Damn."

"What?" Gazzy asked.

"Nothing, nothing." Iggy replied quickly. "Is that all of them?"

"Uhuh." Gazzy yawned. "Now, it's like... 8:45. Can I go back to sleep now? Please?" he asked.

"Thanks a bunch, Gaz. I'll go make a huge breakfast that will not be toast." Iggy laughed, as he heard the Gasman's footsteps echoing down the corridor.

Thanks again to LE trex. I used a few, and changed them a little, did ya see the ones you suggested in there?

R & Rizzles?

4. Chapter Three: Figgy & Fnick read Fang's

Aloha, wonderful readers. This chapter is nothing but Fang, Fang, Fang. Thanks again for all the ideas.
Iggy: I'm still here...
Rain: How can you move on, when I'm still in love with you...
Rain: Sorry, singing 'The Man who Can't be Moved'.
Iggy: I think it's 'how can
I move on'. Not you.
Rain: I know, stupid. I changed the words. Gah, things like that are more effective when you don't have to explain them afterwards.
Iggy: Maybe you should start the chapter. Just a suggestion.
Rain: You're in this chapter, Iggy!
Iggy: Oh joy...
Rain: Want to credit some reviewers?
Iggy: Rain would like to shout out to 'LE trex for her Fang list ideas.
Rain: There's a good Iggy.

R & R?

Fang rolled onto his side, and promptly fell off the edge of the bed. He bit back a swear word, rubbing his shoulder and sitting up. Getting to his feet sleepily, Fang yawned. He'd been able to fall asleep surprisingly easily after reading Max's list with her earlier, thankfully. Fang wondered what his list would say... everyone else's would be fairly obvious. He melted into the background better than the rest of the flock, so he hoped he'd have less rules than them.

Fang trudged into the corridor, and smelt breakfast. Immediately, his step picked up.

"Morning Ig." He said upon entering the kitchen.

"Hey Fang. Read your list yet?" Iggy asked. Fang shook his head.

"Nope. You?" he replied, leaning against the counter top. Iggy grimaced.

"Yep. Got Gaz up to read it to me. He's asleep now, but."

"Anything good on the list?" Fang asked. Iggy shook his head.

"No bombs, no toast for dinner..."

"Toast for dinner?" Fang repeated in confusion. Iggy nodded.

"Uhuh. Not a proper meal, or something. Oh, and the whole Max toaster fire thing..."

"Oh. Understandable." Fang grinned in agreement. "Dr. M took that pretty well."

"Wanna go see if your list is up yet?" Iggy asked.

"Sure thing. But what about breakfast?" Fang answered.

"No worries. I haven't started the waffles yet, so it's okay. Let's go, Fnick." The two teenagers headed for where the lists were tacked up, and Fang skimmed over his friend's, before laughing.

"Nice list." Iggy rolled his sightless eyes.

"Read yours out." He instructed. Fang looked to his.

"Number One: Just because you can jump out from walls and scare the living bejeebus out of people, doesn't mean you should. I almost had a heart attack yesterday!" Fang read. "In my defence, I thought it was you."

"Yeah, real nice. Pick on the blind kid." Iggy grumbled. Fang rolled his eyes.

"Stop using your disability as an excuse to get out of being pranked." Fang quoted.

"Shut up and read, doofus." Iggy prodded his arm.

(A/N: Thanks to Zeze for this one!)
"Number Two: Max likes-" Fang cut himself off abruptly, shaking his head. "Dammit, Dr. Martinez..." he muttered.

"Oooh! What does Max like, Fang?" Iggy snickered.

"Nothing. Next rule."

"No fair!" Iggy cried. Fang cringed a little. It was things like this that he knew made Iggy feel helpless, weak and disabled. Most of the time it was okay, but sometimes he just couldn't take not knowing. Fang knew his resolve to just move onto the next rule was wavering...

"Jeez, Ig." Fang muttered. "Fine. Number Two: Max likes your hair the way it is. Hogging up the bathroom each morning to fix it is no longer allowed. There are seven kids, an adult and a dog in this house, and there are only two bathrooms." A beat of silence passed, and then Iggy burst out laughing.

"Ahahahaha!" he cackled.

"You sound like one of those crazy old witches from the movies. Now shut up if you want to hear the rest." Fang grumbled.

"Go right ahead. This is entertaining."

"Number Three: Max is a big girl, and is strong enough to take care of herself. That boy at the mall needed twelve stitches in his eyebrow, I'll have you know. No punching guys for flirting with my daughter." Fang read. "But he grabbed her butt!" he cried.

"And she decked him before you did. You were like, the wingman. The backup. The posse. Whatever." Iggy shrugged. "Point; she had it covered." Fang glared, although it was useless on Iggy.

"Number Four: Your blog is strictly to be used only 3 hours a day. These hours may be in succession, or at different times."

"Unlucky." Iggy commented sarcastically. "Only 3 hours. Ohmigosh." Fang rolled his eyes, another useless gesture, and kept reading.

"Number Five: You are not to use Nudge as a distraction to keep me busy while you and Max sneak out after dinner. I may be old, but I'm not stupid. Oh, she was onto us. Damn." Fang frowned.

Iggy laughed.

"Number Six: Rest is important. No more flying around at night, with or without Max."

"Why are most of these rules Max-centred?" Iggy questioned.

"Maybe Dr. M is the protective type?" Fang guessed.

"Maybe." Iggy agreed. "Doesn't come across that way, though... but to be fair, it's not like you and Max are sneaking off to do-"

"Number Seven:" Fang interrupted loudly, "Your shirt is not an accessory- it is a requirement. There are children in this household. Huh?"

"You walk around with no shirt on?" Iggy laughed. "Showing off for Maximum, are we?" Fang shoved him slightly.

"Number Eight: Eavesdropping is wrong." Fang paused. "No matter what Iggy offers you, you are not to sneak into Ella's room and listen to her phone conversations."

"How does she know this stuff! It's like she's got the place video-cammed and bugged!" Iggy exclaimed.

"It's starting to creep me out..." Fang agreed.

"Next rule?"

"Number Nine: Your music is... delightful, but I'm not sure some of the words are appropriate for the younger kids."

"Your music is kinda weird." Iggy agreed. Fang rolled his eyes.

"Number Ten: No breaking Max's heart. What the hell?" Fang cried.

"I guess she really is the protective Mom type." Iggy snickered.

"I thought it was the dad's job to do that sorta thing?" Fang asked, confused.

"Can you see Jeb doing that?" Iggy asked. Fang paused.

"Point. But still! I wouldn't break Max's heart... I love her!" Fang gasped, realising what he'd just said. Iggy stared at him for a second.

"...And that's all I needed to hear! Sweet, sweet blackmail!" he shouted, pumping his fist in the air and running off towards the kitchen.

"Iggy! Iggy get back here!" Fang yelled, sprinting after him.


Hehe, Iggy's so evil.
Iggy: Am not.
Rain: Are too!
Iggy: Aren't.
Rain: -sighs-

R & R?

5. Chapter Four: Nudge rambles and reads

Because I'm so bored, and my brain is spurting ideas, I'm gonna post another chapter of the lists. This time it's Nudge & Angel reading Nudge's list. I can't make her read it alone, right? :D
I love writing 'Nudge rants' for some reason. I just do. Hehe.

Credit to LE trex for some of these again. I think this story would be updated a lot slower if it weren't for LE trex!
As well as everyone else who reviewed and left suggestions- you guys rule! I'll get Iggy to steal some cookies from Dr. Martinez and give them to you when I let him visit his flock again for a little while. (Yes, I'm just nice and kind and sensitive and awesome that way. I feel Iggy's pain.)

To Aleria14/Bell: Haha, I think Iggy might be cheating on us. Should we whack him?

Aleria14: -appears- -whacks- -disappears-

Rain: -whacks-

Iggy: What the heck?

Rain: -laughs- Okay, onto Nudge's chapter.

Iggy: I miss my flock. I miss Nudge and I even miss her motor mouth.

Rain: Aww, poor Iggy. -pats head- These next three chapters are gonna be hard, because Dr. M will have to be more sensitive with the younger kiddies.

Iggy: They're tough. She should give it to them straight.

Rain: Like I said; evil.

Iggy: Am not.

Rain: Gah.

R & R?

Nudge sat up in bed, hearing Fang and Iggy screaming as they ran past her room. What the heck? She got out of bed and ran her fingers through her hair and walked to the doorway.
"Nudge?" Angel asked sleepily. "What are Fang and Iggy doing?" Nudge poked her head out into the corridor.

"Um, I can't see them. But I heard them yelling so I got up, what about you? Oooh! I bet it has something to do with the lists Max's Mom was putting up today! Wanna go see if ours is up?" Nudge asked. Angel nodded, scratching Total's head as she got out of her bed. Total muttered something unintelligible under his breath and went back to sleep. Nudge grabbed Angel's hand and they ran out of their room.

"There they are." Angel pointed for the wall, and Nudge skipped over.

"Oh, here we go! Max, Iggy and Fang... haha! Oh, Dr. Martinez was being evil to Fang and Max. Totally. I'm almost too scared to read mine. I'll feel sorta bad if I've been doing bad stuff in her house, 'specially 'cause she's so nice to us all and she's Max's Mom and everything-"

"Done." Angel smiled at her friend/flock member/almost-sister. "Let's read yours. Mine and Gazzy's aren't up there yet."

"Alright." Nudge agreed, she and Angel peering up at the motor-mouth's list...

Number One: Although I love it when we talk, I think that we should have a limited amount of sentences per breath.

Nudge frowned a little, but this rule didn't really bother her. She'd try not to run her mouth too often from now on, then.

Number Two: Using your magnetic powers to send a spoon flying at Iggy/Gazzy/anyone else's head is not on. Someone could get hurt.

"But Gazzy wrecked my favourite shirt!" Nudge protested. "Dr. Martinez couldn't get that stain out no matter how hard she tried. Besides, I didn't even hit him hard. A little bump, that was all." She crossed her arms.

"And Gazzy's tough." Angel agreed.

Number Three: Although the Bambi eyes are sometimes a good asset, it isn't right to manipulate people.

"But otherwise Max would never come shopping with us, or Fang wouldn't let me choose his shirt for his date with Max, and Gazzy wouldn't have given me that last slice of cake from Max's birthday..." Nudge pouted. "I like the Bambi eyes."

"I know. Like at Disney Land." Angel smiled. "I didn't even need to put thoughts in Max's head." Nudge's eyes widened.

"You don't ever do that to us, right Ange? Like, you've never done it to Max, or Fang, or me, or Iggy, or Gazzy? I mean, that would be cool if you did it to Gazzy or someone as a joke, but not for real!" she asked in shock. Angel shook her head.

"Of course not!" she said. "I know I shouldn't do that."

"Good." Nudge breathed. "Awesome. But we should consider doing it to Gazzy, just once..." she trailed off as they read the next rule.

Number Four: Max likes the way she dresses, and the way she does her hair. Please, no more offers of makeovers and shopping sprees.

"But Max would look even more great if we put some more blonde in her hair, and bought her some clothes other than jeans and t-shirts." Nudge said.

"I know. And some different shoes. And she'll need a dress for when she and Fang go out again!" Angel replied in agreement.

"Aren't they so cute?" Nudge semi-squealed. "I hope I find someone like that, who loves me and everything. It would be so sweet, especially if he didn't care about the wings." She ruffled her feathers a little, stretching her wings out.

(A/N: Thanks to 123-Cat-Cat-123 for the suggestion.)
Number Five: We tolerate your big sentences, sweetheart. But other random people might find it weird/annoying/frustrating. I think that pizza delivery boy almost ripped his ears off. And then we didn't even get the pizza because he ran off.

"But he needed my advice! And I totally thought I should warn him that pizza can be dangerous. And that he would look better with his shirt not tucked in. And a few strips of dye in his hair, and maybe he could buy some contact lenses instead of those goofy glasses...?" Nudge said, remembering the dorky delivery boy. He was a serious fashion disaster, in her opinion.

Number Six: Any money I give you should not be spent all at once. Try and save it, so that when you want something, you don't come to me for money again.

"I guess that is fair enough. Because I saw these awesome shoes the other day, they're like $50. I really want them though, and all I have is $15 'cause I bought that shirt that says 'bite me Edward Cullen' remember?" Nudge rattled.

"Uhuh." Angel nodded. She was used to Nudge's constant stream of words by now, even in the early hours of the morning.

Number Seven: Purposely going up and touching something Max/Fang have recently touched when they were together just to see what they were feeling is an invasion of privacy.

"But it's sooooo sweet!" Nudge and Angel cried. "I can't believe she knows about that. I'm not that obvious am I? I only tell you!"

"I didn't tell her." Angel replied. "She's a Mom. She just knows." Nudge nodded in agreement

(A/N; thanks to Evil Robina for this one.)
Number Eight:
Using your metal powers to set the table is very dangerous. Poor Iggy almost got stabbed in the chest last time.

"I felt soooooo bad about that." Nudge said, biting her lip.

"Yeah, poor Ig."

Number Nine: No 'modifying' anyone else's clothes, whether it's revenge or just to 'spice up' their wardrobe.

"But Gazzy looked so good in pink!" Angel giggled. "And Max's shirt looked cute when we ironed those flower emblems on it."

"Yeah. And Iggy's purple jeans looked funny." Nudge added. "I felt bad because he couldn't see them- it was kinda mean."

"That's why we fixed them." Angel said. "Like, straight away."

Number Ten: I agree that those pants were cute, but fighting that other girl for the last pair wasn't very smart of you. Now we can't go shopping at that shop anymore.

"I won the pants, though." Nudge grinned. "That girl didn't stand a chance. 'Sides, that place was getting old anyways. Hey, I guess that's all of them. That wasn't too bad, huh? I wonder when your list will be up! Ooh, I smell waffles! Iggy's cooking, yum!" Nudge and Angel raced off to the kitchen, food already taking the list's place in the front of their minds.


Iggy: -sniffle-

Rain: You okay?

Iggy: -clears throat- Sure.

Rain: Aw, you miss your flock?

Iggy: -nods- -looks hopeful- Are you gonna let me go?

Rain: ...No. Sorry.

Iggy: Damn. Can we at least make some sort of deal?

Rain: Maybe. *thinks- what an idiot. I read him the A/N at the start of the chapter. Silly boy.*

Iggy: ...that always means no!

Rain: Stop acting like you're 5. –rolls eyes- And did Nudge actually almost stab you with a knife?

Iggy: Sorta... yeah.

R & R to receive One hundred billion dollars...

Did anyone get the Austin Powers movie reference? Okay, I haven't seen it, but my friends say it a lot!

*Note: you most probably may not actually receive One hundred billion dollars for reviewing.

6. Chapter Five: Gazzy and Max reading time

Welcome to Gazzy's chapter of 'the lists'! Uh-oh. I see Iggy coming...
Iggy: Whatcha typing?

Rain: Um, nothing. How would you know, you can't see!

Iggy: I can hear you typing, rock-head.

Rain: -pokes tongue at him- I'm poking my tongue at you.

Iggy: If you're typing fanfiction, can you advertise for me again?

Rain: I'm getting tired of advertising. So far, Fang's winning anyway.

Iggy: Only by three votes! Come on people!

Rain: Oh fine. –sigh- okay guys, so unless you've read 'Fangalicious', then you won't know what Iggy's talking about. When I wrote 'Fangalicious' Iggy made a bet to see if he could get more people to say they loved him. He gave a very long-winded speech in the A/N of 'Still Fighting', my DP story, so I'll save him the trouble this time. Basically- Iggy wants you to head over to my story 'Fangalicious' and leave a review, stating whether you like him or Fang better. Something about him having a big fanbase like Fang or something. Whatever. It's driving me nuts, so please.

Iggy: What did you type?

Rain: What I needed to. Now let me get back to the chapter, and you can go back to whatever it was you were doing before you came up here. Unless it was making a bomb, then no. Oh wait, before you go...

Iggy: Rain owns nothing.

Rain: God, your disclaimers are always so interesting! Anyway, on with the story!

Gazzy rubbed his blue eyes as he crossed the room. He could hear lots of noise coming from in the hall, mainly Angel and Nudge talking. He smelt something yummy- Iggy's cooking. He breathed in deeply and grinned, walking towards the food that his tummy demanded. Then, something caught his eye. Five sheets of paper, taped to the wall. Oh right! The lists! Gazzy mentally smacked his forehead. How could he have forgotten- he read Iggy's right before he fell asleep and started dreaming about the next bomb he and Iggy would set off...

He forgot about breakfast for a second and walked towards the list-covered wall. He skimmed over Fang's and Nudges, which hadn't been up earlier. He laughed at a few of Fang's, and shook his head at Nudge's. She was such a girl. Then, he looked at his.

"Hey Gazzy." Max's voice came from behind him. Gazzy spun around and smiled at her.

"Hey Max!" he greeted her cheerfully. "Wanna read my list with me?"

"Sure. Can't be any worse than mine." She said with a smile. "I bet I know what number one is gonna be." Gazzy grinned widely.

Number One: No more using your 'special talent' at the dinner table. Actually, no using it anywhere, at least not on purpose.

"Ding, ding, ding; we have a winner." Max said triumphantly. Gazzy laughed.

Number Two: No bombs. Ever. I don't think it's safe for you to be handling explosives in the house.

"That was on Iggy's too." Gazzy said micheviously.

"I wonder why?" Max said in mock-astonishment. The Gasman poked his tongue at her, then grinned.

Number Three: It is not nice to purposely destroy Nudge's clothes when you two are having a fight.

"I'm working with what I have!" Gazzy protested. "I don't have the metal assault powers that she has!"

"Maybe there's a solution," Max said thoughtfully, "Don't fight where Mom can see you." She grinned, and Gazzy nodded.

Number Four: Do not mimic anyone to get your way. For example, imitating me when there's an argument is not something I want to see you doing.

The Gasman frowned for a moment, and Max smiled at him.

"Hey, she didn't say you couldn't imitate anyone else." she stage-whispered.

Number Four: It's sweet when you and your sister play together Gazzy, but not when you conspire against Iggy and Fang and it turns into an all out war across the living room. That lamp was my mother's!

"Hehe... oops." The Gasman grinned micheviously, "Man, that was fun,"

"It was fun to watch." Max agreed.

(A/N: Credit to Kelsey Goode for this one. I love it!)
Number Five:
When you offer to help Iggy cook, make sure you hand him the right things when he asks for them. For example, giving him a spoon when he asks for a knife and then watching him trying to cut cheese with it is not allowed.

"He eventually kicked me out of the kitchen." Gazzy giggled. "That was funny." Max ruffled his already messy hair.

"You shouldn't do that." She said, but her tone clearly showed that she didn't mean it.

Number Six: No more singing any Weird Al songs. I don't think they're appropriate, especially not that 'weenie in a bottle' song. I don't want to hear it, mister.

"That song is gross." Max agreed. Gazzy laughed.

"But they're funny songs!" he said. Max smiled; he was such a kid. It was nice.

Number Seven: No following Max and Fang around, and then pretending to yell at them for kissing in my voice.

"I really thought it was Mom!" Max laughed. "Scared the crap out of me, too."

"And Fang nearly had a heart attack. Best idea me and Iggy have ever had, hands down." Gazzy told her.

Number Eight: No using Nudge to help hack into Fang's blog, and go on about how much he 'loooooooooves' Max, and how they are going to get married and have 'fifty-five hundred and three children'.

Gazzy looked cautiously at the flock leader, and was relieved to see her face smiling.

"I didn't know about that." She shrugged. "But believe me; no way am I popping out fifty-five hundred and three kids."

Number Nine: Creeping around silently, and then suddenly making a foghorn noise in someone's ear is not only hazardous to their hearing, but darn well annoying.

Max rolled her eyes and the Gasman began to laugh.

"You find the weirdest things funny," she told him seriously, which only made him laugh harder.

Number Ten: Don't purposely feed Total dog food, and then pretend you 'forgot'. We all know how much he hates that.

"It's so funny when he starts going on about how it's discriminative or whatever... and then starts this huge speech about being treated like a dog-" the Gasman began,

"When he is a dog." Max finished.

"The dog can hear you!" both bird-kids looked down to see an angry-looking Total glaring at them. "And it's not only discriminative, it's rude, and dog's should be treated-" Max rolled her eyes, and scooped Total up into her arms.

"Come on, we'll get you some nice human breakfast, okay? Quit complaining." She instructed, walking away.

"Yeah, I'm starving!" Gazzy agreed, running ahead of them and sliding into the kitchen, already formulating plans for his next bout of mischief.


Like it?
Iggy: Don't forget to-

Rain: Oh my gosh! Stop it!

Iggy: -looks sad and pouts-

Rain: Aw, you're so cute when you pout. Fine. Don't forget to go and vote for Fang or Iggy in 'Fangalicious'.


7. Chapter Six: Angel & Total read & ignore

Okay, first of all!
Mo! My favourite person ever! That is a BRILLIANT idea! I love it, and I'm going to use it. So everyone- THANK MO! Check reviews to see who I'm talking about.
Thanks again.

And... once again, LE trex. You're a star! :)

Anyway, a lot of you are asking questions about this story, ie- how many more lists, etc.
So, to clear things up... Iggy?

Iggy: She is doing lists for Total and Ella. And possibly more if you want her too. Whatever you like, but it has to tie in with the storyline somehow. And before you ask, Rain, here's the disclaimer- she owns nothing, okay?

Rain: You're starting to read my mind. Next we'll be finishing each other's sentences.

Iggy: Oh... oh god!

Rain: ily!

Iggy: -shakes head and walks away-

Rain: Iggy? Iggy!

Angel patted Total's head as she skipped down the hall, her blonde curls bouncing. She'd just went and woke Total up for breakfast, and they were on their way back to the kitchen.

"I wonder if Dr. Martinez will make one of these silly lists for me." Total commented as they passed the list-wall. Angel stopped, noticing a sixth list.

"That's mine." She said in a slightly amused tone. "I wonder what Dr. Martinez put for me?"

"I wonder..." Total said, rolling his doggy eyes.

Number One: No mind controlling. Ever. I can't stress this enough.

Angel simply giggled.

Number Two: Shape shifting in public. It's creepy, and we're trying to keep low-profile.

"Gazzy was annoying me. I had to show off to make him jealous." Angel said.

"Because you don't have enough to make him jealous already..." Total said with a smirk.

"I know!" Angel agreed.

Number Three: Using your powers to make that old lady on the street corner keep giving you candy is no longer allowed.

"But she has my favourite kinds!" Angel protested, frowning.

"Uhuh. And those liquorish sticks... yum." Total agreed. "Scrap this rule?" Angel nodded eagerly.

Number Four: No answering people's thoughts out loud in public. When they see you start talking to us when we haven't actually spoken might freak them out a little.

"It's easier, and sometimes I forget." Angel said.

Number Five: Going to the zoo and jumping in the shark tank to talk to the sharks is DEFINITELY not allowed.

"But sharks are really nice." Angel said, "It's so stupid how everyone always thinks they're mean."

"They look terrifying!" Total said from her arms.

"But they're not, not really." Angel disagreed. Total shuddered.

Number Six: No hiding out with Nudge and following Max and Fang around to hear their thoughts.

"They're so cute, though. They're in love." Angel smiled.

"Like me and Akila." Total nodded.

"Like you and Akila." Angel giggled, scratching behind Total's ears.

Number Seven: No relaying Max and Fang's thoughts to Nudge/Iggy/the Gasman, no matter how much they bribe you.

"I keep wondering where Iggy gets all his money from. I bet it's from Ella." Angel said.

"Yeah, Ella would do anything for Iggy." Total agreed.

"It's so adorable." Angel replied.

Number Eight: No putting up a fuss when they don't let you play poker because you cheat.

"I don't cheat! I'm using what I have. It's not unfair." Angel said, pouting.

"It's unfair for the rest of us." Total said. "Sorry Angel." Angel huffed.

Number Nine: No bringing any sea creatures up to the shore so you can play with them. The lifeguards do tend to get a little angry about that.

"But dolphins are fun to ride!" Angel said.

"I don't think she was talking about the dolphins." Total said slowly.

Number Ten: No teaming up with Nudge to cut hair/ 'modify clothes'/ put make-up on anyone. Not even yourselves. Well, the make-up thing is okay for yourselves, but leave the clothes and your hair alone.

"But I thought Gazzy's hair looked pretty with all that pink in it. It matched his outfit. And you looked so cute with the purple tip on your tail." Angel said. Total grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

"Well, that's your list. If I get one, mine will be next." Total sighed. "I hope it's nothing to do with Akila..."

"Come on. Let's go have some breakfast. Then we'll go over to Mrs. Wilken's house and she'll give us some more candy!" Angel grinned. Total immediately perked up.

"Okay." He agreed readily. Angel skipped off down the hall, already hearing the thoughts of the flock seep into her mind.

This one was really short! I'm so sorry!

Anyway, R & R?

8. Chapter Seven: Total & Iggy reading time


Total's chapter! I'm excited for this. Total has so many I could do! Hahaha. I've been submitting lots of stories lately. And OMG, every time I do, I HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FREAKING GUIDELINES AGAIN!!
What is up with that, FF creators?

Oh, btw, for the sake of this, Total can read. I think that hints have been dropped that he can read throughout the series of Maximum Ride, like when he wants to talk about some magazine in MAX, but w/e. He can read.

Iggy: Yeah. The dog can read, and yet I can't? What's up with that? The injustice!

Rain: Aw. -pats head-

Iggy: ...Are you going to randomly hug me?

Rain: No... -waits a few moments- -HUGS!-
Anyway, R & R?

Total padded down the corridor, his belly full from eating the breakfast Iggy had prepared. Man, that boy could cook. He was going to go and take a little nap on Angel's bed, but stopped when he saw a seventh list tacked to the wall. This one was much lower, and was about his height. Dr. Martinez was a smart woman. He trotted over to the wall and sat on his haunches, beginning to read.

Number One: It's lovely that you and Akila are in love. But try not to show that love around the children. It's hard to explain.

"I didn't know that the Gasman and Nudge were nearby!" Total exclaimed indignantly. He smiled at the thought though. That had been a wonderful afternoon with Akila.

Number Two: No speaking in public. That's a given.

"But sometimes it's nessecary!" Total exclaimed.

"You know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." Iggy said, stopping a few feet before Total.

"I'm reading my list." Total said huffily.

"Dr. Martinez made you a list. Huh." Iggy was trying to hold back laughed. "What does it say?"

"Number Three: No more getting angry when we can't take you everywhere we go anymore. A little talking dog with wings isn't exactly inconspicuous."

Total frowned, and Iggy smirked.

"You're a brat whenever we leave you at home." He said seriously. Total let out a low growl, which only made Iggy chuckle more.

"Number Four: You are not to use Angel as a personal body guard whenever you do something to annoy the rest of the flock."

"Yeah! You know Max can't resist Angel's pleading looks, and the rest of us just can't be bothered to go through all the rants that follow if we try and yell at you." Iggy said.

"Well I'm using what I've got." Total replied. "But she is the perfect bodyguard..."

"Number Five: No purposely flying near Magnolia just to creep her out."

Total chuckled. "That's always great." Iggy rolled his sightless eyes.

"Number Six: No calling Magnolia an ugly tramp because Akila feels insecure around her. Leave my dog alone, Total!" Iggy began roaring with laughter.

"You... you called her... an ugly tramp... hahaha!" he spluttered.

"I don't see what's so funny. Magnolia could never compare to Akila." Total said haughtily. Iggy snickered again, waiting for Total to continue.

"Number Seven: No more watching soap operas with Angel and Nudge. It just makes them talk more about stuff we don't always want to hear about."

"I'm actually starting to regret that decision. I mean, it's nice that Rick found Maria after all these years, but those two talk about it so much." Total said, frowning.

"We don't even know what they're going on about." Iggy shrugged.

"Number Eight: No purposely talking in front of new people just to see their expressions."

"I don't think that's fair. It's not like we actually meet many new people." Total said. "And I only did it a couple of times..."

"Don't question the lists. The only thing above Max's law in this place is Dr. M's law. It's like a super law. You don't go against it." Iggy grinned.

"Number Nine: No more reading People Magazine. It's bad for everyone involved. No one wants to hear about Brad and Angelina's newest adoptive baby."

"Everyone needs a little catch-up on gossip every now and then." Total disagreed. "Besides, People Magazine is great."

"I don't need a little catch-up on gossip every now and then... so I guess that's not everyone..." Iggy smirked.

"Number Ten: No stealing Fang's laptop and adding blog posts to Fang's blog. There are certain things he does not want the world to know. Certain Max-related things."

"That was awesome." Iggy chuckled. "I've never heard Fang's voice get that loud."

"You owe me ten bucks still." Total said. Iggy nodded.

"Yeah, I'll get around to giving you that eventually..." He said. "Is that everything?"

"Uhuh." Total said, "Now I'm going to go finish taking that nap." He trotted off, and Iggy rolled his eyes. What a lazy dog.

I just had an idea! I might do a one-shot where I write about what Total said when he hacked Fang's blog... if you guys want me to? I'll do blog comments and everything. :)
Just leave a review. Ella's up next, I need some ideas for her, please? I think I've only got like two or three chapters until I've gotta end this. –cries-
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. You're all amazing, and you totally make my day!



9. Chapter Eight: Iggy & Ella read together


Ella... Ella... Ella... Hm.
This one might be a little hard, but it'll be easier for Dr. Martinez to reprimand her own kid, so I dunno. Whatever ;D

Also, as well as the Total idea that you all want me to do (which is going to turn into a full-fledged story, by the way, where Total repeatedly hacks Fang's blog), I'm going to maybe do some one-shots explaining the stories behind the rules. (As suggested by Fuzzylogic11, great idea Fuzzylogic11!)

Warning; Eggy hints. Okay, maybe not hints, per say, more like Eggy GIANT NEON SIGNS.

Iggy: Be careful what rules you make up in this chapter, Rain.

Rain: -innocent smile- Why, I would never dream of embarrassing you through Ella's list. Never!

Iggy: And why don't I trust you?

Rain: Because you're extremely untrusting. 'Not everyone has a hidden agenda, you know.'

Iggy: -sighs- Just stop quoting your own stories and get on with this chapter.

Rain: Fine. I'll find some other way to annoy you. I know!
Let's gather round the campfire, and sing our campfire song! Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song! And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along! Sing with me Iggy!

Iggy: No!

Rain: What have you got against Spongebob? I love Spongebob!

Spongebob: You rang?

Rain: Omigosh it's Spongebob! -hugs-

Iggy: -shakes head- I really fear for my sanity here. You're just a big kid, aren't you?

Rain: Yup!

Iggy: -sighs again- Well, I'm leaving now. Bye. -walks away-.

Rain: Gah. Oh! Spongebob, disclaim for me?

Spongebob: Rain doesn't own anything! -big smile-

Rain: You so enthusiastic! -hugs-

R & R?

Ella watched as Total trotted off and Iggy turned to face her.

"Hey Iggy." She said, her voice a little shy. She was so lucky he couldn't see her blush.

"Oh, hey Ella." Iggy grinned. "Just reading Total's list with him. Did you know he called Magnolia an ugly tramp?" Ella laughed.

"No... but I can definitely picture him doing that." She said. "Do I have a list?"

"Oh, I'll just look for you." Iggy said, rolling his eyes. Ella frowned.

"Oops. Sorry!" she apologised, but to her relief Iggy smiled.

"I was kidding. It's okay." He said. Ella walked over to inspect the wall, and rolled her eyes when she saw a seventh list hanging next to the other sixth. Total's was near the floor.

"Huh. What do you know? I do have a list." She said.

"What does it say?" Iggy asked, hoping Ella wouldn't hear the suspicion his voice. He desperately hoped it wouldn't be a repeat of his list... awkward much?

"Hmm? Oh, um..." Ella quickly finished reading the other's list, giggling every now and then. "Okay done. Let's see... Things Ella Martinez is no longer allowed to do..."

"Number One: No trying to change Max's wardrobe. She's too nice to tell you to buzz off."

"You, Nudge and Angel together in a room with make-up and clothes is a scary thing." Iggy said, shaking his head. Ella grinned at him.

"I love those girls. We connect so well." She replied.

(A/N; Thanks to SilinceMaximumDarko for this one)
"Number Two: No telling Iggy how amazing he is just to get the last slice of pizza." Ella blushed furiously as Iggy gave her a weird look.

"I'm hurt, I thought you were being nice." He said in a fake-sad tone.

"I was! You are amazing!" Ella cried, and then covered her mouth.

"Um... next rule?" Iggy asked after a few moments silence. Ella didn't miss the way a faint pink blush spread across his own cheeks.

(A/N; Thanks to SweeneyLovett for this one.)
"Uh, yeah... Number Three: No using the flock as an excuse to get out of homework."

"You just like using us, don't you Ella?" Iggy said, tsking lightly. Ella felt her face burning again... why was she reading these to him?

"No!" she shook her head vigorously. Iggy grinned mischeviously.

(Thanks to Midge 1012 for this one... can you tell I have minimal ideas for Ella?)
"Number Four: Stop teaching Angel and Nudge about boys. I think Max was trying to put off having that conversation for a little while longer."

Iggy burst out laughing. "That was great. I can't believe Angel actually started asking Max about the birds and the bees."

"Hey," Ella giggled, "I didn't say anything about that. I only told her about some cute boys at my school. I have no idea how she found out about that stuff."

"Still, it was great!" Iggy laughed, but suddenly his face turned pale. "Wait, what cute boys? Huh? Cuter than me?" Ella giggled again.

(Thanks to lalalaheehee for this. Yeah... I have very limited ideas. Yeesh.)
"Number Five: No lending Max any good shirts. If she needs any, I will buy her some. All of your shirts end up hitting the wash with blood stains/rips/holes in them, and it's frustrating. Your clothes cost considerably more than hers."

"That's because Max has no taste in fashion, and doesn't care what she looks like. The least I can do is lend her some decent clothes!" Ella said. "It's not my fault things always come and try to kill you!" Iggy chuckled.

"We could definitely do without. I'd much rather stay here with you." He said, looking her almost in the eye.

"With me?" Ella asked softly. Iggy realised his mistake.

"And Dr. Martinez and the flock and Total and Magnolia and Akila and everyone." He finished quickly.

(Thanks to Aleria14 for this one. That's the last of the ideas. I'm on my own now. -Gulps-)
"Number Six: No giving Iggy money so that he bribe people into doing whatever he wants for him. ie- Spying on Max and Fang, getting Total to go to the beach with him." Ella raised an eyebrow at the blind pyromaniac. "Why did you and Total go to the beach?"

"Uh... no reason!" Iggy replied hastily. "What's next?"

"Number Seven: No bribing any of the other flock members to walk Magnolia so you can go for a walk with Iggy."

"Heh... that was fun." Iggy said with a tiny smile.

"Yeah..." Ella agreed in a soft tone.

"Number Eight: No forcing Fang into clothes other than black when he and Max go out together. Leave him be, Ella."

"I nearly had a heart-attack when Gazzy told me to touch his shirt! Blue!" Iggy laughed.

"He looked nice. I work wonders." Ella said.

"Your modesty just blows me away sometimes, Ella." Iggy said, rolling his clouded-over eyes.

"I know." Ella said, subtly scooting a little closer to him.

"Number Nine: It was a bad idea to take Nudge and Angel to see 'St. Trinians'. Next time, think of the consequences before you act."

"She's got a point. They still want us to move to England and go to school there. And Angel kept asking everybody what drugs were." Iggy snickered. Ella smiled.

"I love that movie. It's awesome." She said. "You should listen to it sometime with me..."

"Like... a date?" Iggy asked, gulping audibly. Ella *ahemed* and blushed.

"Uh... Number Ten: No asking Max to fill you in on the details of anything she and Fang do together, and then selling those details to anyone else for money that you then give to Iggy!" Ella laughed.

"It's like a giant circle." Iggy said thoughtfully. "You get the money from all of us, who steal it from Anne Walker's account, and then you give that money to me, and it starts all over again."

"Yeah..." Ella said, but she wasn't really thinking about the money thing anymore. She was gazing at Iggy, something she did quite often because he couldn't see her doing it.

"I can feel your eyes on me..." Iggy said slowly. "Hey... Ella?"

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Wanna listen to St. Trinians with me tonight?" he asked. Ella stared at him in surprise.

"But... St. Trinians is a chick flick..." she finally managed. Iggy smiled.

"I don't care." He said, and she smiled.

"Okay." She agreed. "That'd be awesome."

"Kinda like me." He said, and Ella playfully hit his shoulder.

"Ruin the moment, why don't you?" she said, pretending to stamp away, grinning like mad. She had a date with Iggy!

"Ella? Ella! I was only kidding! Come on, are we still gonna watch a movie?" He took off after her. "Ella!"


I love how they're so awkward around each other. Teen love, it's so cute. :D

This chapter wasn't as funny as the others, but Ella is hard to do! She's not really mentioned all that much. Yeesh.

Anyway, check the blog, read 'Fangalicious' and vote for Iggy's competition thing, and review, yada yada yada. :D



10. Chapter Nine: The flock is changing


SQUEE! Over 100 reviews!! I'm so excited!

Iggy: It's not all that many.

Rain: 'You're like a constant downer, huh?'

Iggy: You keep quoting Charlie the Unicorn 3. Stop it!

Rain: It's funny! If any of you like Charlie the Unicorn, there's a third one out! :D

Iggy: Weren't you supposed to be answering review questions?

Rain: Oh right! Okay...

-Yes. The Flock are going to totally disregard the rules. I mean, come on! They're the flock!

-Max is going to tell Dr. M to shove it... but nicely. She loves Dr. Martinez, remember?

-I am going to do backstories on the rules, so be on the look out!

-The Total blog hacking thing is coming very soon. I'm calling it 'Total takes over' and it's gonna be a multi-chapter story.

-I'm sorry, there's not gonna be anymore lists. I've done all 6 bird-kids, plus Total and Ella. Now there's gonna be some chappies where the flock continually disobey the rules.

-A lot of you have been suggesting that I do something for the final of 'The Lists'. It was first suggested by Mo the Reviewer, and I'm going to use her idea, which has been suggested again and again by many of you. I'm not gonna be specific but. But most of you will probably find out anyway, so eh. Anyway,

-If I missed a question, I'm sorry. Send me a message if you're still confused!


I just couldn't put my genetically-enhanced finger on it. Everybody seemed... more down that usual. And for us, always on the run and fighting for our lives, that was kinda saying something. Iggy and the Gasman hadn't made a bomb in ages. Nudge had kept her constant stream of chatter to a minimum (thankfully!) and even Angel and Total seemed to be more subdued. And Fang... he'd been avoiding me!

They were behaving, and it scared me. They were my flock, and my flock never behaved. We were a rag-tag team of loveable mutants with a mutual disregard for any authority. That was why Mom had made those stupid lists in the first place, so we'd clean up our act a little... if it was anyone else, I'd tell them to shove their freaking rules, but this was my Mom. The same mother of mine who had taken us in out of the goodness of her heart, who had fed us, cleaned us, clothed us... (you can tell I love my Mom, huh?) Anyway,

The point was, I wanted my flock back. I wanted to see Angel skipping around with Total, stealing my Mom's choc-chip cookies (the most delicious things on earth, by the way). I wanted to hear Nudge talk for ten minutes about some shop. I wanted to see Gazzy and Ig hard at work, making some kind of explosive device. I wanted Fang to go flying with me again.

So that's why I called them all for a meeting. We went for a flight and found a secluded spot we could talk- strictly flock business.

"Okay guys," I began, holding out my hands in that leaderly way of mine, "Something's been bothering me."

"The voice?" Iggy asked. I shook my head.

"Uh-uh. It's those list thingys my Mom made up for us. I totally see where she's coming from, but something's not right here." I explained. "Nudge, you're not talking as much." I turned to my big-mouthed little 'sister'. She shrugged.

"Is that a bad thing?" Gazzy muttered with a grin. Nudge pelted him with a lump of clay.

"Iggy, you and Gazzy aren't making bombs anymore." Okay, maybe that one wasn't such a terrible thing, but that was beside the point.

"That was number one on both our lists, I think." Gazzy said. Iggy nodded. Angel already knew what I was thinking, so I didn't bother voicing my opinions on her lists aloud. I glanced at Fang, and he met my stare with his dark eyes. He knew what I wanted to say to him.

"But what can we do? Dr. M's your Mom, Max. We can't just disobey everything she told us to do. It's not right- she's looking after us." Nudge pointed out.

"I know. I'm not saying we disobey them exactly..." I said, biting my lower lip. The truth was, I had no idea how to handle this. I missed my old flock, but I couldn't do anything that would hurt my Mom. I looked to Fang again. He was deep in thought.

"I have an idea." He said slowly, "Why don't we-" he leant in close, and began to explain his plan. I thought we probably looked a bit like those people in cartoons, how they lean in and one of them starts to whisper so the plan is a surprise? Yeah, we were exactly like one of those cartoons.

That afternoon when we returned home, Iggy grabbed Ella and we headed into mine and Ella's room to put the plan into action...


Yeah, another short filler chapter. Sorry! :D

I won't ask you to review after that chapter, but you can if you want. You could still pass along some ideas as to how the flock can disobey the rules?


11. Chapter Ten: The rebellion begins

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you're all wonderful!
So, the first chapter of 'Total takes over' is up. I was actually gonna update that, but then I thought 'No, my poor readers! I left them with a cliffie!' And so I decided to whip up this little number.

Now, I would like to thank to following people for adding to my wonderful imagination with their brill ideas;

-CloudbzandPiratey-things; love the idea! Gonna incorporate it in later chapters. That's right, I'm not finishing this yet! And thanks for making my review the longest comment you've ever posted. :D

-thecoloursoftwilight; your idea is coming into this chapter! I hope you like what I've done with it. Great contribution, thanks a billion.

-7andthefluff; I'm so going to put that in later chapters. Thanks!

Keep those ideas coming, I love reading them and thinking of ways I can put them in!

Iggy: Rain owns nothing.

Rain: Thanks Ig!

R & R.


So, you all know by now that the flock aren't exactly rule-abiding. They're quite a devious bunch when given the chance. I was actually starting to look forward to this- Fang's idea had set off a billion other ideas that were flying in the conversation in no time. Now it was time for phase one, Fang's original idea- we were going to totally mess up Mom's lists. I was going to break every rule on Nudge's list, she was going to break every rule on Ella's, Ella was breaking all of Angel's, Angel was breaking mine, Total was breaking all of Gazzy's, Gazzy was breaking Iggy's, Iggy was set to break Fang's, and Fang was gonna break Total's (he picked the short straw, or however the expression goes). Of course, some things we couldn't break, but we were gonna work around that.

I was up first, setting the example of ill behaviour for the rest of my flock. Nudge gave me a thumbs up as I breathed in deeply. I'd lived with Nudge long enough to know how she talked, but this was gonna take some work. My mouth was gonna need a serious rest- no more make-out sessions with the Fangster for a while, I believed.

"So Max, how are you?" Nudge asked loudly.

"Well Nudge, I'm great. I mean, me and Fang are great, and the flock's great, so I'm great. It's all great. Oh hey Mom! Mm, can I smell cookies? No? Well it should be! Yum, cookies! Can me and Nudge help you make them? That'd be so awesome, huh Nudge? We'll just scoff them all down before any of the flock can get to them. But then we'd probably burn our tongues, so maybe that's not such a good idea. Plus, our siblings can smell Mom's cookies from a gazillion miles away, so I don't think that we'd be able to eat many before we were tackled out of the way. Oh my god, I remember one time when we were out flying, and suddenly Iggy was all like 'I smell cookies!' and so we all raced back here to see who could get to the cookies first! I totally won, because I'm so fast and everything." I rambled, basically speaking whatever thought popped into my mind.

"Cool." Nudge said, very out-of-character for her, and Mom gaped at me.

"...Hi girls." She said, a look of confusion passing over her face. "Uh..."

"Seriously Mom, I'll go get Ella and we'll all bake some cookies! And Angel can help to if she wants. A strictly girls thing though, no boys and the dog. Haha! Awesome! C'mon Nudge, bye Mom!" I grabbed Nudge's wrist and we sped out of there, Nudge barely suppressing her laughter. Once we were safely up the stairs and in our room, we both burst out laughing.

"You did an awesome Nudge imitation." Nudge high-fived me with a grin. "I totally didn't think I sounded like that, but hearing it from someone else makes me realise I really do! Wow!" I smiled back at her.

"We still love you, honey." I wrapped her in a hug and she laughed.

"I know. C'mon, let's go break some more rules!" she pumped her fist in the air, and we left the room to find the others. This was gonna be fun.

I think Mom eventually went into hiding.

Me and Ella dyed clothes, cut hair and put make-up on the rest of the flock. Iggy punched out a dude for flirting with me when we went for a walk, Ella went and stole candy from the old lady down the street (she was nearly blind, it wasn't all that hard), Angel tackled the hairy cashier at the grocery store and inspected the pizza boxes when we ordered pizza, Iggy told Gazzy an inappropriate joke (which he barely understood) and he told it loudly to everyone, Nudge kept trying to give me Ella's clothes, Iggy kept jumping out at people (particularly my Mom) from behind doors, I threw a spoon at Fang's head, and Total ripped up one of Nudge's shirts and started to copy people in a very bad imitation of their voice.

We'd given Ella a script earlier, and she started to randomly tell everyone what people were 'thinking'. We'd pretend to get really angry and tell her to stop telling everyone our thoughts. We played poker and didn't let Ella join in. But I swear the highlight of the day was in the afternoon.

We were all sitting in the living room, quietly watching TV after a day of tormenting my Mom, when Magnolia walked in. Mom was reading, and I glanced at Fang, swiftly hitting 'mute' on the remote. Mom looked up from her book at raised an eyebrow at me. The others watched Fang expectantly. Fang looked at Magnolia for a few moments, before quite calmly speaking.

"Magnolia," he called, and she padded over to him happily, "You're an ugly tramp." Mom's eyes snapped shut and she groaned, getting up and walking out of the room muttering to herself. We all slapped high-fives. I knew Mom understood what we were doing, she just didn't know what the heck to do about it. I grinned and scooted closer to my boyfriend. He laced his fingers with mine, and I leant against his shoulder.

Phase one, a definite success.


Want more?

Review, review, review! :D

12. Chapter Eleven: Plan Awesome phase 2


Well, I've been getting loads of reviews, and we all know reviews make an author update faster ;)

So, I've put together this nice little chapter for you all, just to show how incredibly grateful I am! :D

Iggy: You sounded so desperate, I'm sure they all just felt sorry for you.

Rain: leave me alone! You're always so mean to me!

Iggy: Because you kidnapped me!

Rain: You have more freedom than you have at Bell's!

Iggy: I guess... You let me visit the flock, at least...

Rain: Not badmouthing you or anything, Bell, I promise. I just give Iggy more freedom 'cause I feel bad for taking him from you (even if I didn't know you'd actually kidnapped him in the first place!) I just use him when I write. :D

Iggy: -rolls eyes- Rain owns nothing, fyi.

Rain: -hugs- Plus, he's fun to hug!

Iggy: Let... me... go...

Fuzzylogic11: In answer to your question, Fang is only avoiding Max whenever Dr. M is around, seeing as he's a little worried about her apparent over-protectiveness. Sure, they love each other, but Fang and Max never kiss in front of Dr. Martinez anyway, and he's not crazy/stupid. He values his life. ;). I figured he'd only avoid her for like one day, to give things time to settle down a little.

I probably should've cleared that up. A stupid reason, but whatever. That's what I'm going with.

R & R!


I never knew how fun siblings could be until I met Max and the flock. I was glad Max had agreed that it was safe enough for them to stick around for a bit- I could keep my big family for a while longer, at least. Poor Mom ended up with a headache most of the time though, so that's why she made those stupid lists. Unluckily for her, they hadn't done much. We were just coming up with more and more ways to stick it to her. I, being sort of accepting and rule-abiding, was having the most fun I'd ever had in my entire life.

We'd already completed what we'd called phase one of 'the awesome and completely fool-proof plan that will definitely let Dr. M know that we don't do rules at all' (I really don't know who to blame for that name. We shortened it to 'Plan Rebellion'). Now, it was time for phase two. Abiding by the rules to the absolute extreme.

Nudge was set to start saying one word per breath. Max and Fang were going to go by the '30 centimetre rule' and not go within that distance of each other the entire day. Everything was good to go, and damn was I excited. This was so great!

Me and Max walked into the living room, where Mom was watching the early news. I smiled very deliberately at her, and I knew Max had the same expression. Mom eyed us suspiciously.

"Morning Mom." Max yawned, going and sitting beside her. Mom smiled.

"Hey darlings. What's up?" she asked in that motherly way of hers.

"Nothin'." I replied, sitting on the other side of Mom.

"You haven't got anything planned for today, have you?" Mom asked, her head whipping to each of us swiftly. We simultaneously shook our heads.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Max smiled angelically. Wow. I didn't even know Max could do angelic. Suddenly, the red headed news reporter flashed across the screen. Perfect- phase two commencing... now. Usually when the red-head reporter came on, Max's jaw would set and she'd immediately start picking out things bad about her. Fang, knowing this, would usually say how pretty he thought the reporter was. It was like an on-going news war. But today, Max smiled sweetly and I saw Mom's attention flicker to her other daughter.

"She is really quite pretty. Girls with red hair are always pretty, I can see why Fang has a thing for red-heads." She commented thoughtfully. Mom's eyes widened.

"What's brought this on?" she asked.

"Just obeying one of the rules. No insulting random red heads from afar." Max grinned, and stood up. "I'm hungry. Catch you later." Mom turned to me as Max left the room. I shrugged.

"I'm hungry too. Bye Mom." I sped after Max, the smile on my face growing bigger every second.



Me and the Gasser passed Ella and Max on the way to the kitchen. Gazzy told me that they'd given us a thumbs up, so that was pretty cool. The plan was in motion. Now it was Gazzy's and my turn. We headed for the kitchen and I began to cook breakfast, as I did every morning. Today I was going to make only 'appropriate' jokes, ones that would probably involve blondes or something. Blonde jokes were good and easy. Very appropriate. It was hard to think of things I could do that wouldn't contradict stuff the others were doing. Like, Fang and Max were keeping away from each other all day. Some of my rules were centred around them, so it was a little hard.

"Hey Gaz," I asked loudly, knowing full well that Dr. Martinez could hear me, "Wanna hear a joke?" I heard Dr. Martinez sigh. I grinned.

"Sure!" the Gasman replied.

"A blonde was driving to the airport, and a sign said 'airport left', so she turned around and went home." Gazzy snickered.

"It wasn't all that funny. Sorta funny, but not totally funny. Besides, I have blonde hair!" he said. I shrugged.

"Sorry. Oh well." I heard Dr. Martinez's light breathing in the doorway.

"I thought the joke would have been..." she trailed off. I imagined the look of confusion on her face.

"Nope. 100% clean." I replied. "Hey, who wants waffles?"

"I'll help!" Gazzy offered.

"Uh... Gazzy, are you sure you're going to help properly..?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Can you get me out the waffle iron?" I asked Gazzy. Soon I felt the waffle iron being pushed into my hands. "And..." I started to ask for a list of things that Gazzy should get out for me, some of which had nothing to do with making waffles. "And, oh! Two carrots!"

"You... don't need carrots for waffles..." Dr. Martinez said weakly, but her heart wasn't in it. I almost felt sorry for her for a sec.

"And the toothpaste..." I continued, grinning as I heard Dr. M's footsteps dying away down the corridor.



Man, was I boiling! I had on two shirts, a jumper, my windbreaker and a scarf. Oh well, it was for the greater good. I headed for the living room, stomping as loud as I could and tapping on the walls.

"Hey!" Dr. Martinez cried, getting up. "Who's doing that?"

"It's me!" I cried. "Sorry! Just didn't want to jump out and scare you!"

"Oh no... wait. What are you wearing?" she asked, seeing me for the first time that morning. I grinned.

"I thought I'd better be on the safe side with the 'always wear a shirt' thing." I told her. "Well, breakfast calls. Bye!" Dr. Martinez shook her head and sank back into the couch.

"Oh lord..." she murmured. I smirked and high-fived Gazzy and Iggy as I entered the kitchen. I spotted the many useless utensils and food stuff on the bench, and laughed.

"Great job guys." I told them. "Great job."



Me and Angel (who was carrying Total) sprinted down the corridor, all ready to put our part of the plan into action.

"Ready?" Angel asked. I nodded. It was gonna be way hard to stop constantly talking, 'cause I was only allowed like one word per breath! Soooooo frustrating, but soooooo necessary! We ran into the living room, where we knew Dr. M would be watching the news. She was lying on the couch, rubbing her temples. We giggled softly.

"Morning Dr. M!" Angel smiled.

"Hey girls." Dr. Martinez replied. I waved at her. She looked at us warily.

"Don't you... uh... you know what, just forget about it." She muttered to herself. "Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"Sure did!" Angel answered.

"Yep." I added curtly.

"And what are you going to do today?" Dr. Martinez asked suspiciously.

"Stuff." I replied.

"What stuff?"


"I see. Okay. And what about you, Angel?"

"I don't know yet." Angel shrugged. "Hey Nudge, do you want something to eat?"

"Yep." I smiled at Max's Mom, who grimaced back.

"Let's go." Angel grabbed my hand and tugged me out of the room. Of course when we got in the corridor, we collapsed against the wall and laughed. This was soooooo fun!



I spotted Fang sitting in the living room, watching TV. Mom was lying nearby, under the influence of very strong painkillers. I very deliberately sat on the other side of the sofa, and Mom looked at me in surprise, looked like she wanted to say something but decided against it. We were so evil. It was great.

Tomorrow, the final stage was coming into play.


Long-ish chapter, hope you enjoy. I elaborated on some of the stuff they did this time.

R & R!

13. Chapter Twelve: The grand Finale!


I think it's been a tad longer than 36 minutes Kara Nicole... but I'm updating.
You're all probably going to kill me... because I think this will be the last chapter...

I'm so sad! :'( :'(

I just don't think I can drag it out any longer without making it pointless and stupid (if you want pointless and stupid, head over to 'Amazing Cliches- I write that BECAUSE it's pointless and stupid). But the Lists can't be pointless and stupid. This story has a plot, and I can't just make it longer.

However, I'm thinking of doing some stuff that you guys might be interested in-

-For one, Total takes over can be as long as I want it. So I'll keep writing that. It's similar to the lists a little. It makes reference to the Lists. Anyway, I'm writing that.

-Backstories, backstories, backstories. I'm doing stories on 'behind the rules'. I think I'll make it a multi-chapter story, called exactly that. 'Behind the rules'. I don't know when I can start that though. Pretty soon I'm hoping.

Any other suggestions can be left through a review. Thanks, and Ig?

Iggy: She, as I say every chapter, owns zilch. Everything belongs to JP. And Kara Nicole, DON'T USE ME AS A WEAPON! Please?

Rain: Thanks bub. Also, I would like to thank EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO REVIEWED! I kept checking my reviews and seeing so many, and it was just awesome to see. THANK YOU ALL! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

(Think I've thanked you enough yet? I don't- THANK YOU! :P)

And Aleria14, have they really stolen ALL the flock members? Omg! Well, we still share Iggy... right...? :D:D:D

Alright, on with the (final -sobs-) chapter. :(


It was 10:30 when the assembled flock (plus Ella) walked in a group downstairs to find my Mom. She was in the kitchen, making a big breakfast. Okay, that was sign one that Mom was not happy. When she wanted to get stuck into us, she made us a huge big feast first, so we'd be less inclined to 'hate' her afterwards. Mom hated being the bad guy.

"Hey Mom," I said as we entered the room, "Smells great!" She frowned distractedly.

"Uhuh. Thanks, honey." She replied. "What are you kids going to do today? Nudge, are you talking again? Has Angel gone back to reading minds? Is-" I cut her off by holding up a sheet of paper. She glanced at me in surprise.

"This is a list," Ella said, gesturing to the sheet of paper, "Your list." Mom raised an eyebrow.

"My list?" she repeated. "Okay, what's on it then?" she flipped another pancake and rolled her eyes.

"I think we should all go into the living room." I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the stove. Gazzy turned off the stove. Mom sighed.

"Fine, okay." She agreed, following us. I grinned and bumped fists with the others as they stacked theirs on top of mine.

"Okay Mom," I said as we assembled ourselves on the sofa, "List of things Valencia Martinez is no longer allowed to do- (A/N; This idea was suggested by CloudbzandPiratey-things. I was just gonna do a Dr. M list that was totally reasonable... but this is so much better!)

Number One (written by Max): Tell the Flock to stop making fun of me and Fang. Seriously, it's way old.

Number Two (written by Iggy): Tell Max to get over it. And tell Fang to stop being such a loser and stop moving things around so I walk into them.

Number Three (written by Fang): Tell Iggy to stop teasing us, and tell him to stop calling me a loser. And tell him to get a sense of humour!

Number Four (written by Nudge): Tell Max to get a decent wardrobe. And tell her that she should totally listen to me because I'm a total fashion guru and she'd look totally awesome in those jeans we saw at the shops and-

Number Five (written by Max): Tell Nudge to stop pestering me about my wardrobe.

Number Six (written by Gazzy): Tell Nudge to stop talking so much, or else I'll chew my ears off.

Number Seven (written by Nudge): Tell Gazzy to shut his trap and that it's impossible to chew your own ears off!

Number Eight (written by Max): You must make at least 140 cookies per day until I turn 15. Then it will be 150 cookies per day.

Number Nine (written by Iggy): You must drive me to the beach with Fang.

Number Ten (written by Max): You must NOT drive Fang to the beach with Iggy.

Number Eleven (written by Ella): You must allow me to go flying with Iggy.

Number Twelve (written by Iggy): You must allow Ella to come flying with me.

Number Thirteen (written by Angel): You must allow me to watch Supernatural with Fang.

Number Fourteen (written by Total): You must allow me to watch Supernatural with Angel and Fang.

Number Fourteen (written by Gazzy): You must allow me to throw exploding speckled pumpkins (A/N; Mentioned in 4 stories!) at the mail man.

Number Fifteen (written by Nudge): You must take me, Angel and Ella shopping twice every week and a half.

Number Sixteen (written by Ella): You must allow Iggy to teach me how to make explosives, so I may throw them at annoying students/teachers.

Number Seventeen (written by Max): You must kick Jeb in the butt if he ever decides to visit. And Brigid. And Lissa.

Number Eighteen (written by Fang): You must let me throw things at Iggy if he makes reference to my love life.

Number Nineteen (written by Iggy): You must get me a seeing-eye dog that I can sick on Fang if he peeves me. And no, Total does not count.

Number Twenty"

"ENOUGH!" Mom shouted. I abruptly stopped reading.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Those are completely unreasonable." She spluttered. "How can I... how can you... ARGH! FORGET IT!" she got up and stomped out of the room. With our raptor hearing (minus Ella and Total- and even they could hear it) we heard the tearing of paper, and suddenly Mom was back, tossing the paper onto the coffee table.

"Okay," she said, suddenly calm again, "No more lists. No more MENTIONING the lists. Ever. Okay? Okay. I'm going to go make breakfast now. Let's never speak of this again." With that, she got up and walked away, while we watched her leave in surprise.

"Well," Fang began, "That went well." I grinned at him, and we all stacked fists again, laughing uncontrollably.

Well, if nothing else, those lists gave us a damn good laugh!


I hate the ending. I'm so sorry. I will make up for ending this, I promise. I'm writing another chapter of 'Amazing Cliches' at the moment, then Total Takes Over will follow soon after, and then 'Behind the Rules' will be started.

Thank you again to all who stuck with me through this story, you're amazing!

~Rain, over and out.