The Tennifer Tblz Chronicles by Happi Zebra

Category:Book X-overs
Published:2008-07-02 07:25:19
Updated:2008-11-08 05:37:05
Packaged:2021-05-07 02:35:09
Summary:Okay this is a cross-over between the world of MG and Harry Potter. Basically it's a parody of HP with 'actor' characters... sorta. You can R&R but please no flames unless you actually understand.

Table of Contents

1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Chapter 6
7. Chapter 7
8. Chapter 8
9. Chapter 9
10. Chapter 10
11. Chapter 11
12. Chapter 12

1. Chapter 1

The Girl Who Lived (With A Goat Lover)

Jazz had never been quite normal. But she'd never been strange either – freakishly intelligent and highly career focuses, but not strange. And it was on a perfectly normal day that her life changed.

She left her house as usual forgetting to eat breakfast and started out heading for her college on foot. On her way she had a small encounter with a truck attempting to back over her – from a driveway no less – and a very strange encounter with a couple of goats. ("Our leeeaderrrrrr!" "WTF?!")

Jazz got to college a little late and much more stressed than usual. And things only got stranger, faking an illness, Jazz fled home before the hoard of curious frogs and locked herself away to study cough go on AIM and Mega Glomp cough.

Meanwhile, on a nearby street, overlooking the house of Jazz, the Fairy Queen, Claridore, stood.

"Ah, my dear Helena, never have I seen a cat sit so awkwardly,"

A small crash sounded as the cat fell backwards off the ledge, emerging a moment later as the Dark Fairy, Helena. "Well, I got bored just sitting on a brick wall all day! It was amusing…"

"Why weren't you celebrating Mega Glompia Day like the rest of our world?"

Helena shrugged, not saying a word and Claridore shook her head, but said nothing of her sister's strange escapades. There was work to be done.

"Where is the child?!" Helena asked, wide-eyed.

Claridore smiled soothingly, "Timify is bringing her,"

"But- Claridore, you surely don't trust that pedophile with Lenni's child?!" Helena exclaimed, covering her mouth when she realized what she'd said.

But Claridore merely shook her head, "Helena, the child is his too, anyway I would trust Timify with my soul," she declared proudly.

All of a sudden, with a clatter of hooves and a whimper of pain, Timify fell from the sky, astride his flying pony. Claridore rushed to his side and Helena scooped the child cradled in his arms away as Claridore helped him from the pony's back. Timify grimaced in thanks, free to cradle his abused crotch now that the child had been taken from him. Helena traded the child off to Claridore, taking Timify's arm to lead him to the low brick wall where she'd spent the day.

Claridore headed to the steps of Jazz's home, while Helena and Timify nursed his wounded groin in the street. Gently placing the small bundle down, Claridore pulled a letter from her bra, dropping it gently onto the child's middle.

"Good luck, Tennifer," she said softly, heading back to the others.

"May the force be with you," Timify added gravely and together they left to get absolutely smashed – on a sugar high of course.

And Tennifer turned over in her thin, hypothermia-inducing blanket, no idea that all over the world, computer obsessed, caffeine addicted, mostly-insane Mega Glompers were glomping and cheering on the child's name – long live Tennifer Tblz, the first of the first generation of born Mega Glompers.

2. Chapter 2

The Vanishing Glass (Penis, that is)

Nearly fourteen years had passed since Jazz had woken up to find little Tennifer on her doorstep and strange as it may be she didn't look or act like a thirty-year old internet stalker. Mega Glompia Day had gone strangely wrong all those years ago, with the creation of the Immortalizey-freeze-timer. In shock the Mega Glompers had stared in awe at Erinicholas Flamel and her discovery, nobody knew exactly what she had done – but rumor has it that it involved Disney, phone-shoving sticks, man-whores and a Sharpie.

The world of Mega Glomp was at peace, with the exception of some minor Civil wars erupting, and its members were in no shape to leave. Jazz still led with her bad-ass, awesome leadership, bringing us back to her home in England. Tennifer was still there, of course, playing right now, in the attic, where she practically lived, surrounded by her hoard of voodoo dolls of every person she had ever met.

"Tennifer!" Jazz shouted as she burnt her hand with hot water that she couldn't possibly have spilt by herself. Tennifer giggled and put down the voodoo doll of her guardian, heading downstairs for breakfast. Jazz scowled at her as she walked in and was greeted by a charmingly innocent expression that she seemed to have inherited from her parents.

Jazz sighed, hopping up onto a stool to eat her breakfast, "Must you?" she asked, with a gesture of her burnt hand.

"Don't ask questions," Tennifer answered knowingly, repeating what Jazz had always said in response to questions about her inability to age… or her strange obsession with her 'work' computer. Tennifer wasn't allowed to touch it but when Jazz was using it she seemed to laugh a lot more than was necessary for work of any sort.

Jazz glared at her almost-daughter, "Your parents would be so proud of you,"

"What happened to them?" she asked for the ten-billioneth time.

"They died in a car crash, you know that," Jazz said, then added after a pause, "And don't ask questions,"

"And that's how I got this scar?" Tennifer asked doubtfully, ignoring the second part of Jazz's comment as she pointed to a long cut from her hairline through her right eyebrow.

Jazz glanced at the scar, stifling a laugh, "No, that's where you ran into the back door when you were three – you bounced off and fell against the table. Then a glass sculpture of David fell on your head. I didn't want to tell you in case you found it embarrassing that the scar came from a glass penis," Jazz finished mildly.

"Oh," was all Tennifer could say, staring at Jazz, she glanced at the statue in question – she'd always thought it had been penis-less to protect her innocence.

Just then the phone rang and Jazz jumped up to answer it, Tennifer watched as Jazz's face fell then turned thoughtful, "No, of course not, that's fine," she said into the phone, "Thank you for the notice," she added a little sarcastically.

She returned to her seat and met Tennifer's questioning look with that same thoughtful expression. "The crazy cat lady down the road can't take you for the week,"

Tennifer's heart leapt, feeling a surge of hope that she wouldn't be sleeping in a pile of cat's, scratching herself free of fleas while her guardian did who knew what. "I could just stay here," she offered, "I'm fourteen, it'll be fine just leaving me,"

Jazz shook her head, "No way am I leaving you with all those voodoo dolls, you could do anything," she said with a shudder, "No, I think it's time you met with your heritage," Jazz said with a decisive nod.

3. Chapter 3

The Phone Calls From Everyone

A ding sounded at Jazz's computer and she busied herself with her 'work.' Tennifer staring after her in amazement; never had Jazz even brought up where she went on her annual trip, or the question of Tennifer's heritage. She'd thought she had no family but Jazz, who was some very distant cousin or aunt or uncle or something family-ish. There was silence for while, broken only by the clicking and clacking of Jazz at her computer, typing furiously quick.

Jazz stopped suddenly sitting up straight and a moment later the phone rang. "Eep," she said, leaping to her feet, but Tennifer was closer.

"Hello, Jazz's house, this is Tennifer,"

"Eep, fuck, put Jazz on, dammit," a voice said, speed talking. The voice was female and didn't sound any older than Jazz, though considering Tennifer couldn't remember Jazz ever sounding any different the voice could be deceptive. She didn't have time to respond however as Jazz snatched the phone from her hand.

"Bekki, what do you think you're doing?" she exclaimed.

"YOU'RE BRINGING HER WITH YOU?!" Tennifer heard the shout from where she stood and watched as Jazz held the phone away from her ear.

"Yes, I have to and it's time I did. You-know-who doesn't know yet and I want to keep it that way, got it?"

"Can't I tell anyone?" Bekki asked pleadingly.

"Well… I suppose you can tell Claridore and Helena, they'll need to know since they organize everything,"

Jazz sighed, hearing the keys clacking as Bekki spread the word of Tennifer's return, she knew this had been a bad idea – but it had to happen sometime. She hung up on Bekki, who seemed to have put the phone down to type, and looked at her young ward again.

Barely a second later, the phone rang in her hand and she answered it automatically, only to be greeted by an ear-splitting squee.

"…Hi, Claridore,"

Jazz chewed on her lip waiting for the lightning fast, excited rant to finish since she couldn't understand a word Claridore was saying, while Tennifer watched in increasingly paranoid fashion – they had to be talking about her right? The flow of high speed one-sided conversation ended and Jazz inhaled softly about to speak when another squee greeted her and Helena started her own delighted chatter. Jazz put her hand to her head, trying to make sense of it for a moment then pulled the phone away from her ear, pressing 'Call end' with grim determination.

The phone rang again and she shook her head, flipping it over to take the batteries out. She put it down and closed her eyes as her cell phone started playing 'I will survive,' loudly.

"Tennifer, I forbid you from answering the phone, if you even touch it or my cell I'll send you to a kids fitness program that runs tandem to my annual conference," she hesitated then added, "And destroy your collection of voodoo dolls,"

Tennifer looked horrified and opened her mouth to protest, then, thinking otherwise – since Jazz was rarely in this sort of mood (PMS maybe?) – she nodded silently and headed up to her room, where she didn't have a phone to be called by.

4. Chapter 4

The Spiller of Secrets

"Tennifer, are you ready? We're leaving!" A violent screech of tires sounded outside the house, "Tennifer! The taxi is here hurry up!"

Tennifer bolted down the stairs with no luggage but for the voodoo doll making kit she always tried to keep with her. "I'm ready okay," she answered quickly, rolling her eyes.

A solid thump came from the door and both Tennifer and Jazz stared apprehensively towards it. "Holy fucking Christ, that door was so not there when I started up them steps," an Australian accented voice said from the other side.

Jazz opened the door to see Bekki sitting on the step, blinking slowly up at her; she stared down at the Aussie for a moment before offering her hand.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jazz asked, trying to keep Tennifer from laying eyes on the uninvited guest. "I was going to explain everything on the plane,"

"Psh, I wanted to come with, do you know how far it is to fly to America from Australia alone?" Bekki said, rubbing her forehead. "So where's the demon spawn?"

Jazz glanced back at Tennifer and threw a half-hearted glare at Bekki, "Tennifer, meet Bekki,"

Tennifer stared at Bekki, "You were the one on the phone," she said slowly.

"Yeah, what gave it away?" she replied, rolling her eyes and pulling the girl into a hug, "Aww, she's all cute and small-like,"

Tennifer squirmed away, surprised, and Jazz caught Bekki by the arm, tugging her out of the house, "Well, no matter how you ended up here, we've gotta get a move on if we're gonna make our plane,"

Bekki grinned, being happily shoved back into the taxi she'd arrived in as Tennifer fumbled to lock the door behind them. They all sat in the back, Bekki directing the cabbie back to the airport before they all fell silent. Bekki coughed nervously, shifting in her seat.

"Don't even think of it," Jazz said, without looking at her, "No threesomes, no tag-teaming, nothing is happening in this cab even remotely sexy,"

"'Wasn't gonna say nothing," Bekki mumbled, looking out her window, "So, Tennifer… are you exited about MG?"

Tennifer peered curiously around Jazz, "Um,I don't know, what is it?"

Bekki leaned forward to stare at her, glancing swiftly to Jazz's face and away, "But… didn't you ever wonder where your parents came from? Where they met? Why Jazz hasn't changed for the past fourteen years?"

"Bekki…" Jazz cut in uneasily, "I didn't tell her anything,"

Bekki stared at Jazz horrified for a moment, "But she… she… she didn't even come across any of us? We're everywhere!"

Jazz chewed her lip, "She's never been online,"

"WHAT?!" Bekki stared at Tennifer with a stunned expression, "Poor kiddie… you'd think they would've taken you away for neglect or abuse or something," she said, with what was a lot of sympathy considering it was Bekki.

"Um, I don't think it's that big of a deal," Tennifer said, glancing at her guardian, sure they didn't always get along, but she never considered herself abused.

"You don't know what you are though," Bekki said emphatically.

"What I am?" Tennifer said doubtfully.

Bekki nodded, "You're one of the gang, you're famous, you're the first – hundreds of teenagers wish they could be you, hundreds of teenagers write fanfics about being you," she shook her head, "You're the first born and since Erinicholas's experiment couldn't be reversed, you're the only MGer ever to be born, nobody else could have children after that," she said sadly.

Jazz folded her arms, sitting back, "Bekki you never wanted children," she pointed out.

"Not the point!" Bekki said loudly, resuming her sadly wistful expression. "Anyway I can't wait to see your parents, we're tight yo," she noticed Jazz's stare and Tennifer's mouth open and gave a sheepish grin, "Um, not quite get to that part either right? He heh,"

"My parents are-"

"Yes, yes, they're alive and well, and probably extremely proud to have a daughter with a shmexy English accent, but more importantly," she said, pulling out a laptop, "We've gotta get you set up for life with the 'family,'"

5. Chapter 5

Purple Daisy

Tennifer watched as the eccentric Bekki wandered off to find her seat, since no amount of stalking could have put her beside them. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked Jazz as soon as they sat down.

"Tell you what?" Jazz asked, opening up her own laptop.

"Everything!" Tennifer exclaimed, upset that Jazz didn't even seem to have a problem with the lies that made up her life.

Jazz peered at her, "I did what had to be done, don't worry about it – you'll understand when we get there," she said assuredly, "Now, how far did Bekki get?"

Tennifer shook her head, "She made me a hotmail account, whatever that is… she says AIM mail is gay, I don't know what she meant by that either," Tennifer admitted.

Jazz nodded understandingly, "Now for the most important thing – you're screen name, for AIM of course, now choose wisely, this name will be your identity soon enough,"

Tennifer gaped, "I don't know, can't I just be Tennifer or something?"

"Of course… but most of us have something kinda random,"

"Most of us? You have one of these?"

"Of course," Jazz said, almost laughing aloud at the question, "I'm ApocalypseKitty and Bekki is… well, she changes a little, at the moment she's trying out Happi Lemur, but in general she's Happi, or Happi Beava – her original name," Jazz explained, while her ward looked more and more like she thought they were all nuts. Oh well, they hadn't aged in over a decade, that was sure to make their minds a little screwy.

"Um, right," Tennifer said, she cast around for something random, "Uh, I'll be VoodooMaker…"

"That's taken," Jazz said after some speedy typing, "What about VoodooKiddy08?"

"Um, sure, whatever," Tennifer agreed.

"Now for MG," Jazz said, then looked closely at her almost-daughter, almost-tears welling up in her eyes. "You're finally growing up," she said and smiled.

She typed and clicked and stared intently at the screen, "There's a newb called VoodooKid… I'll delete them and you can take their name – they haven't posted yet anyway,"

"Wow, you have a lot of power over this thing?"

Jazz laughed, "Tennifer dear, I'm the admin of this thing," she said proudly.

Tennifer smiled uncertainly, pulling at her sleeve.

"We'll have to get you some new stuff, Bekki will probably want to buy you some things," Jazz said, then leaned closer to add in an undertone, "She's a black widow – her latest husband just died,"

"Oh, should I have been sympathetic…?" Tennifer ground to a halt at Jazz's expression.

"No, Tennifer… definitely not,"

"Hey," an emo-looking teenager said from across the aisle, "Tennifer?" she said, her interest obviously caught by Jazz's use of the name.

"Um, yeah?" Tennifer asked, shrinking back a little.

"Oh my God, are you like, the Tennifer? The first born MGer?"

"Um, I guess," Tennifer said, looking worried by her new found fame, "And you are?"

"Oh my God, she wants to know who I am!" she said, seemingly to herself, "I'm Purple Daisy! 5679th MGer to join!" she answered excitably.

"Um, right, it's, uh, nice to meet you, uh, Purple Daisy,"

"Don't to talk to strangers, Tennifer," Jazz said, almost twitching at the presence of the fanatic style MGer, she hadn't liked Purple Daisy from the day she joined. "You'll have to learn the difference between awesome crazy and bad crazy," she muttered, sitting back in her seat before the girl could catch sight of her. Her role as Admin tempered her popularity among the lower class citizens of Mega Glompia but Jazz was still famous and had no intention of being 'glomped' by creepy randoms.

"No more talking on the flight…" she said, and got ready to sleep through the rest of the flight.

6. Chapter 6

The Journey from Reality to Insanity

"This is my profile, see?" Bekki said, clicking on her username, "Now these are the people who won't go crazy fanatic over you," she added, and started pointing out the 'gang'. "But that doesn't mean they won't love you, just that they actually know you,"

They'd arrived at the airport some time ago and were now in another taxi, in another continent, fast approaching their destination.

Tennifer shook her head, "Nobody knows me; I've never spoken to these people in my life,"

Bekki stared at her, her eye twitching once, "You have a lot to learn, Tenn,"

Tennifer blinked, she'd never been called a nickname, "Um, so they do know me? What are they, stalkers?" she said, not wanting to bring it up.

"Mostly," Bekki said, nodding, "But Jazz kept us informed anyway, we all have pictures of you, to remind us that theirs hope,"

"Um, right," Tennifer said, looking at Jazz again.

"I wasn't going to deny them seeing you," Jazz said defensively, "We just had to keep you separate for a while, but now you're here!" she said brightly and the taxi pulled up into a long circular drive.

"Wow, nice place… you stay here every time?" Tennifer asked, staring in awe up at the huge resort.

"No, we move it around a lot, so it's easier for certain members,"

Tennifer nodded, then scowled thinking back to her weeks with the crazy cat lady, "And you definitely couldn't have brought me with you?"

"Nope," Jazz said, looking shiftier than a lemur on crack.

They got out of the cab and were met by a stern looking teenager, "First year at the convention, wait on the grassed area,"

"Tank!" Jazz said, "You've been assigned to door duty?"

"No," Tank said, unsmilingly, "Newb watch,"

Jazz winced in sympathy and smiled as she moved around him, both Bekki and her trying to hide Tennifer between them.

"Who've you get there?" he asked, "Is that a newb?" he added, starting forward, no matter his job he always took it very seriously.

"No!" Bekki said, then grabbing hold of Tennifer's wrist, she dragged her off towards the side, speeding towards the lagoon. They darted across the stepping stones and looked back to see Tank torn between tracking down the stray newb and staying with the hundred or so he'd collected.

He shook his head turning back to his post and Bekki grinned triumphantly, leading the way back into the resort to reach the reception desk, where a harried young man in the staff uniform worked with Claridore and Helena looking over his shoulder.

"No, no, no! You can not put Aubrey on the other side of the resort, he has to be near Erin!"


"Oh, give that here," Claridore said, taking the mouse from him to make adjustments to the rooms. Claridore's head jerked up as her sister squeed, jumping off the desk to glomp Jazz, followed by Tennifer and Bekki after giving her a wary look – they usually sent a newb to check glomp her to make sure she didn't have a knife waiting for an unsuspecting MGer.

"Ohmigod, you got her past Tank, thank God, if I knew you were bringing her I wouldn't have given him newb watch!" Claridore said at hyper speed.

7. Chapter 7

The Happi Rabbit

The automatic doors slid open and Tank burst through, "They did not get past me!" he said, herding in the newbs, "I've taken all of their details, except for that one's," he said nodding at Tennifer.

"Eep," Claridore said, shrinking back.

"Those are all the first years?" Jazz asked, drawing herself up, "I'll take it from here, Tank," she added.

The first years all milled around uneasily, little name-tags with their name and username declared them to one another as friend or foe – though there weren't any serious disagreements, otherwise they wouldn't have been invited, the MGers didn't want trouble on their vacation.

"Alright, this is for all of you, you're very first Mega Glomp Convention, now to secure an invite you must be pretty close with quite a few people, and the name tags will help you find them. The Mega Glomp Convention's official beginning will be tonight, where everyone is expected to appear for dinner," she said as formally as she could manage. "Anyway, clear off the lot of you, there'll be an informal lunch soon and I don't want this poor man being mobbed by all of you at once," she finished and the first years began to disperse.

"Uh, do I go with them?" Tennifer asked nervously.

"Oh," Jazz said, coming to a halt, "Um, you can if you want… I thought you might wanna meet the rest of us…"

"Um, maybe later… I'll try to fit in with the 'newbs' first," she said, hoping she didn't hurt Jazz's feelings. Bekki looked crushed, Claridore was too busy hiding from Tank and Helena was checking him out.

Tennifer skipped out of there to lose herself among the first years heading into the dining hall where lunch was being served on a fancy buffet table.

"Ow, hey!" a girl in front of her turned where she'd been jostled forward, "Oh wow, you're Tennifer, aren't you?" she said I a low voice. She looked to be 5"2 making her about two inches taller than Tennifer – though they seemed to be the same age.

Tennifer stared, "Um, yes… how do you know who I am?"

The girl pointed to her name tag in answer. Rachel. Happi Rabbit. Bekki's Rape Child – Hands Off!

"Oh… um, that's…" Tennifer bit her lip in confusion, glancing back to where Bekki stood with Jazz, talking to Claridore who'd finally come out of hiding. Black widow and pedophile?

"Don't worry, she doesn't actually rape me," she laughed, "I'm just what she calls her profile victim; we're friends," she clarified.

"Uh sure," Tennifer said, What the hell is wrong with these people?!

"You should watch out for Taylor though… she's Jacque's friend among the first yearers,"

"Jacque?" Tennifer asked, Jazz hadn't said she needed to look out for anyone.

"Yup yup, he always got weird about you when the threads where on the subject of Tennifer, nobody ever told me why…" she said, her voice dropping as she spoke. "I know he opposed the creation of the 'Tennifer Groweding Up' thread Bekki posted,"

Tennifer took a seat, her plate filled with random food, and opened her mouth to ask what they posted on the thread when she caught an older guys (almost everyone was a teenager) eye.

"Ouch!" she said, as a flash of pain seared across the scar on her forehead.

"What is it?" Rachel asked.

"Huh? Oh, I was going to scratch my eye but didn't put down my knife," Tennifer said, then nodded to the guy, "Who's that?"

"That's Jacque," Rachel answered in a hushed tone.

8. Chapter 8

The Typo Master

"Tennifer? Tennifer Tblz?"




"Oh my God, there she is,"

Shh, don't look,"

"You want to come up to my room?" Rachel asked, rolling her eyes at the MGers gossiping, "Bekki got me sorted out since she's been here before,"

"Um, yeah, okay, thanks," Tennifer said, looking around her uneasily.

They skipped to the elevator – Rachel explained no MGer walked – and Tennifer found herself being led to a larger room than she would expect a first year to have.

"I got lucky," Rachel explained, "There were enough rooms for the 'gang' and their protégés on the same floor, usually there aren't – or so I'm told, first time and all," She opened the door with a keycard and held it open for Tennifer to come in, before closing it and walking straight to her laptop, which she flipped open.

An IM blinked at her, "Bekki wants to see me… at the lagoon bar… I wonder if they carded her," Rachel wondered aloud with a small laugh, typing her response.

"Do you want me to wait here?" Tennifer asked uncertainly.

"No, she wants you to come with me…"

"Oh okay," Tennifer said, moving back to the door. They stepped out into the hallway, to meet face to face with none other than Jacque (or JPC Flock his nametag informed her).

He smiled at her, "Why hello there, if it isn't young Tennifer Tblz…" he said slowly.

"Nice to meet you…" Tennifer said and made it obvious she was reading his name tag, "Jacque," she said, looking up to meet his eye.

He smiled again, "I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other," he said, sounding unnecessarily ominous. He gestured to the door a few feet down and her heart sank.

"Oh, maybe… this is Rachel's room though, I don't know where I'll be saying," she said, politely, trying to hide the sudden sense of impending doom she had – she needed to make herself a Jacque-doll, she thought to herself, wishing she hadn't left her voodoo kit with Jazz.

Jacque nodded and turned away, walking straight to his room without a backwards glance.

"He doesn't seem to like me much,"

Rachel shrugged uncomfortably, "You'll have to ask Bekki or Jazz for that story – 'cause it was before my time," she said, adding, "…at MG," quickly at Tennifer's strange look. She grinned and shook her head, "C'mon, we don't want to be late,"

They reached the lagoon easily enough, dodging past the occasional overly-excited MGer, but couldn't get to the bar past the tanned youth who guarded the door.

"Hey-hey, back off, mate, them ankle-biters are with us," Bekki assured the man, laying her accent on thick and smiling rather stupidly as she waved her hand towards their table.

She led the two younger girls towards the table, pulling out seats for them before taking her own, "Okay, Tennifer, Rachel, this is the 'gang.' We've got Jazz, of course, Clare and Helen, who've met, I think, this is Erin, Aubrey, that's Ari, Kat and… where's- oh, and that's Desi getting the drinks,"

There was a moment of confused murmuring, where everyone tried to greet the two younger girls and they attempted to remember everyone's names, before the table fell silent.

Tennifer could feel the MGer's fight back the need to talk and she used this, blurting out one of the many questions she had, "Why does Jacque hate me so much!?"

"Jacque doesn't hate you," Bekki said when no one else seemed likely to answer. Tennifer had the distinct impression she was being lied to, not surprising considering Ari and Erin both choked on their drinks before looking away.

"So!" Desi said, trying to change the subject and succeeded by knocking over her glass, "Ow!" she exclaimed then saw her hand and froze. Blood welled up from a cut.

"Oh my God," Claridore breathed, "The I-F-T! It has been compromised!"

9. Chapter 9

The Midday Duel

Tennifer and Rachel were shooed from the bar after the strange episode, "What's IFT mean?" Tennifer asked, casting a puzzled look over her shoulder.

"No idea," Rachel said lowering her voice again, "Sometimes they talk about it, but they never tell us what it is. I've looked into it and made myself a dictionary of all the possible acronyms but so far none make sense. There could be millions of combinations with those three letters, not to mention MGers have a habit of making up words,"

Tennifer nodded thoughtfully, glancing back at them huddled around the table, "Didn't Bekki tell you anything?" she asked, recalling how much she let slip back in England.

"Not a word," Rachel replied glumly.


Tennifer looked up, then down when she realized the voice came from near her feet, a group of girls peered up at her and she crouched so they wouldn't have to stare into the sun.

"We need two more for water Quidditch, you guys want in?"

Tennifer shook her head, backing up, "Sorry, I can't swim,"


Tennifer turned to see Claridore and Helena stop dead behind her. She could see the rest of the gang leaving the bar a short distance behind them and they came to a halt behind their friends.

"I, uh, can't swim," Tennifer said awkwardly to the expectant looks and Jazz blinked. She hadn't even thought of swimming lessons.

"I can fix her!" Desi announced, bouncing forward lightly. "Look here, young Tennifer!" she instructed, pointing to the edge of the lagoon. Tennifer looked down and Desi moved quickly, shoving her into the water with a laugh, before jumping in herself to make sure their golden child didn't drown. The gang looked from on to the other, shrugging and followed the two in with delighted squees and squeals.

Tennifer found it wasn't so hard after all, taking to the water like a duck to… well, water. Speaking of which…

"Now his name is George and I want you to have him…"

"Um," Tennifer looked at the fluffy yellow duckling being held out to her, "Uh, thank you," she said, awkwardly taking 'George.'

"Kat… where did you get that duck?" Jazz asked, bringing towels over to them.

"Nowhere!" Kat exclaimed, "Keep him safe," she whispered to Tennifer before fleeing.

The others watched in bemusement before coming to pet Tennifer's new duck. Claridore called the others to attention, announcing it was time to retreat for her room. Tennifer's heart swelled with joy when they extended the invitation to her and Rachel, feeling a sense of belonging that she'd long been without.

Claridore and Helena's rooms were huge – not surprising considering they were instructing the reception staff ("We're sisters; we need the room!" "You guys always end up here anyway!"). They all flopped onto the huge bed that Claridore had claimed for her own, Tennifer watching them interact like old friends.

"So you need the bed for Clarad?" Bekki asked, "'Cause, if you do I'm so not lying on this thing after tonight,"

"No!" Claridore screeched, "Clarad doesn't exist!"

The bed cracked up at this and Claridore somehow ended up on the floor, "Wait, wait," she said, holding up her hands in protest, "I have news," she said smugly at which people scoffed. "No, really! It's hawt Tucy!"

"Oh God,"


"Nooooooooo! God, haven't you scarred us enough?!"

"…I think I threw up a little…"

"Um, Tennifer, you might have to go in the other room for this, you too, Rachel," Jazz said, surprising them with her mothering when Claridore got her 'You're-gonna-hear-this-whether-you-like-it-or-not' look, very similar to her 'I-know-you're-not-gonna-like-this-but-I'll-tell-you-anyway!' look.

Tennifer nodded, trusting them to be more disturbing than she wanted to endure and dragged Rachel – who was a little more used to them – into the other room.

They explored for long moments before…"Hey, what's that?"

"What's what?" Tennifer asked.

Rachel pointed to a suitcase. "Warning: IFT. DO NOT TOUCH!!11one… SERIOUSLY!"

"The IFT?" Tennifer glanced back into the other room, "It's not very well protected,"

Rachel moved forward to unzip the suitcase but…

"I challenge you to a duel!" Tennifer whipped round to find herself staring at Helena. "Purple mafia! Attack!" she screamed and suddenly the world was filled with pillows. Tennifer fled into the hall, she and Rachel slamming into their room out of breath, curious and highly amused.

10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Tennifer and Rachel lay on their bed, close together and whispering (it seemed fitting, despite their huge rooms) about the IFT and the gang's pillow-aided attack.

"Whatever it is, it's either gonna be awesome or pwnful," Rachel concluded.

"Or both," Tennifer said, nodding.

A knock sounded at the door and they both jumped up, running to it with hope of an explanation. The door flew open and Tennifer looked hopefully at Bekki and Jazz standing surprised on the other side. Bekki recovered first.

"I bought you a swimsuit!" she said, skipping the formalities and chucking a plastic bag at Tennifer. "Figured you wouldn't have one, now c'mon, the first match of water Quidditch is tomorrow and we want you to survive it,"

"Uh, what?"

"You're on our team, duh, every team has to pick a newb," she said and they stole the two convention newbs away, teaching them the rules as they went. The pools were more crowded than they had been, teams having had time to get together and start practicing for the tournament.

"She's a natural," Claridore squeed after seeing Tennifer play, "Thank god she's one of us!" she added, not mentioning that their team was so intimidating the only real opposition came from Team Tank.

"Oh my god, is that a BUNNY?" Kari squealed from the deep end of the pool, swimming towards them. The MGers piled out of the pool while a very confused (and hottt!) lifeguard tried to find what had chased them from the water. Tennifer frowned at Jacque hurrying away towards the lobby as a chase ensued, the bunny leading the distracted Mega Glompers in an insane race.

The bunny, chased by a herd of excited Mega Glompers raced for Tennifer, coming to a quivering stop behind her feet. She stared wide-eyed at the hoard of MGers who had come to a halt before their idol and the one who guarded the bunneh. Tennifer picked it up, huddling the small rodent to her chest.

She looked the bunny in the eye then suddenly asked, "Where's Kat's duck?" as she realized she'd left him somewhere.

"You mean George?" Clare squeed, "No idea! Can I pat the bunny?"

"Sorry, Clare, maybe some other time," a voice came from behind the group and Tennifer caught her breath at the sound of Jacque's voice. The crowd split and gradually dispersed back into the pools as Jacque made his way through the MGers to where Clare and the others waiting around Tennifer defensively.

"It's your bunny?" Tennifer asked dumbly, holding the rabbit up a little for him to see.

"Yes, his name is Lobster," Jacque said and Tennifer and every other MGer present felt a rush of sympathy for the poor misnamed bunny: he looked so much more like a 'Fish' than a 'Lobster.'

"Oh-okay," Tennifer said, stuttering slightly as he gave her a look that dared her to make fun of the poor bunny's name. She held the rabbit out to its rightful owner and suppressed a shiver as he took the ball of fluff from her hands.

Tennifer stared in fascination at Jacque's retreating back as he walked away, lost in her thoughts – was that a duck feather she spied? How did it get on him? And where was George really? I shouldn't assume that Clare was lying about not knowing where the duck was… but they had lied (or withheld the truth) over so many things now that poor Tennifer couldn't tell whether they were trustworthy or not. At least they appeared to be on my side, she thought idly, slipping back into the water as the games resumed.

11. Chapter 11

Water Quidditch

Tennifer woke early the day of the Quidditch round, her stomach churning in nervousness. She got up and showered obsessively before lounging in her bathrobe with her new swimsuit underneath. She was expected in the women's change rooms at 11 o'clock for the team meeting and pep talk. By 10, Rachel had woken and was pestering Tennifer to eat something from the huge cart of room service that had either been ordered by Rachel herself or been sent up by one of the purple mafia.

Rachel headed down to the pool with Tennifer, joining some other friends as Tennifer broke off towards the change rooms. Within the change rooms, girls and one blind-folded guy were changing into their bathing suits.

"Hey, watch out," Tennifer said, raising a hand uselessly as the guy backed into a bench and sprawled over it with a thump. A series of giggles went round but no one moved to help the guy who didn't seem to be able to get up without seeing how exactly he'd fallen, his head turned uselessly as he tried to heave himself up from the awkward position.

"Uh help?" he said after a moment and someone Tennifer couldn't remember the name of shouted for Jazz.

"What?" she called, coming back to the others from another part of the change room, "Oh God, Seth, I can't leave you alone for a moment, can I?" she said, helping him up.

"Well, I'd rather you didn't," he replied suavely and Tennifer stared, her jaw dropping as Jazz stood on tip toe to lightly peck Seth on the lips.

Catcalls immediately ensued but Tennifer barely heard them too stunned by the revelation, despite all else that she'd discovered, that Jazz actually had a life. Shaking herself out of her daze, Tennifer made her way to a free spot to change, sitting down among her team mates as Jazz took her place in front of them all for last minute planning and pep talk.

"All right then guys, let's get out there and show them who pwns," Jazz said, winding down. The team immediately moved out excitedly practically bouncing as they walked and Tennifer followed, realizing why they made such haste as Jazz led Seth out with the blind fold still in place. Everyone else was slipping into the pool so Tennifer did the same, seeing Jazz remove Seth's blindfold at the last moment.

"Why does she do that?" Tennifer asked softly, seeing Clare approach.

Clare glanced at the two and smiled widely, "Oh, it's just tradition; Seth has plenty of opportunity to perve on girls during the conventions and any other time really. The blind fold was a joke in the very first convention," she said, staring reminiscently into space.

The game was going well and going in The Purple Mafia's favour when a painful cramp struck Tennifer in the calf. She made a short 'eep' before slipping under the water. She thrashed about just beneath the surface and looking down her eyes widened at a robotic shrimp attached to her leg. She kicked her legs up breaking the surface in an attempt to throw it off and…

Rachel gasped as she saw the robotic shrimpy, realizing Tennifer wasn't drowning but being sabotaged! She could think of only one MGer who would do such a thing and headed down to the pool edge where many MGers were gathered. Quite a few had laptops that they'd braved bringing to the waters edge so it could be any one of the controlling the toy. Reaching the waters edge, Rachel kicked up a splash of water aimed at Jacque, clicking at his laptop furiously. Shrieks followed and the tech-obsessed crowd scattered back.

Rachel smiled to herself and looked for Tennifer who now seemed fine and unharmed by her desperate moments, though rather shaken up over the events. The game ended shortly after with a win going to the Purple Mafia team and Rachel and Tennifer met up, briefly conferencing before they decided it was time to corner Bekki.

"It was Jacque," Rachel said stubbornly, "Jacque and a stupid geek toy,"

"Oh bullshit," Bekki said, rolling her eyes, "You guys are paranoid, Jacque's never cared much about Quidditch,"

"He had a duck feather on him," Tennifer said, "I can't find George anywhere,"

"Actually, that wasn't George's feather," Rachel said ominously, "It was from a pillow,"

Bekki looked a little uncomfortable, "Clare and Helen ambush lots of people with pillow fights,"

"Exactly… like you all did for us," Tennifer said knowingly, hinting at the mysterious IFT.

Bekki glared at them, "Oh leave it alone, Jacque is one of my oldest friends, he wouldn't try to hurt Tennifer no matter what. Forget about the IFT, that shit is between Jazz and Erinicholas!"

"Who's that?"

"Who's Erin? She's just over- Wait… shut up! Stop asking me questions I'm not supposed to answer, you little blighters!" She said, storming off.

12. Chapter 12

The Elevator of WTF

When Tennifer stepped into the MG's private dining room she was surprised to see Christmas decorations and trees surrounding the room. A glance at the buffet told her the food was Christmas themed too and she stood mouth agape until Rachel shoved her forward to their usual seat.

"Since we only get together once a year we celebrate Christmas while we're all together," she explained, gesturing vaguely at the room at large.

"Huh, sounds cool I guess," Tennifer said, finding the rushed year-squished-into-a-week thing they had going for them a little interesting. She didn't know them all well enough to actually want to celebrate Christmas with them but she guessed people like Jazz and the rest of the 'purple mafia' relished the chance to be together.

"Some of the older people are going out for a picnic… there's usually a lot of eggnog involved, we aren't invited though so we'll be hanging round here," Rachel informed her, talking and eating at the same time.

"Hey, kiddos," Tennifer and Rachel looked up to see Bekki standing in front of them. "Like the decorations?" she asked, bouncing a little on her feet, "I did it all myself," she added proudly, speaking quickly.

"Oh yeah, it's awesome," Tennifer answered, looking around appreciatorily, "Anyway so I asked Tank who that 'Erinicholas' was and he glared at me and stormed off. Who the hell is this guy that they piss him off so much?"

Bekki's eye twitched and she cracked her knuckles… "I" then her wrists… "told you," elbows… "to forget" neck… "that,"

"Nervous habit," Rachel whispered as Tennifer stared.

"Right, sure," Tennifer said awkwardly, "Why won't you just tell us?

"Why won't you just play monopoly with me? HUH??? Did you ever think of that?!" Bekki retorted, storming off before Tennifer worked out the relevance.

Rachel and Tennifer wandered the halls of the resort back to their room and sat out on the balcony.

"What do you think she meant by that?" Tennifer asked for the 29372149113158235th time. "'Why won't you just play monopoly with me?' What the hell does it mean?"

"It could mean…" Rachel began thoughtfully, "That Bekki is in the mood for a game of monopoly!" she exclaimed.

Tennifer rolled her eyes, annoyed by Rachel's attempt to trivialize what was obviously a secret message. "Why would she say it like that then? Why not just ask? It has to mean something,"

Rachel scoffed at the very idea, "Tenni, Bekki is notorious for her randomness and her insane love for monopoly. She's never won a mafia game either… though that has more to do with Jazz being a math genius and pwning her all the time than Bekki being particularly bad…" she said trailing off.

"Maybe she'll tell me if I win…"

"Maybe she'll tell you if you lose," Rachel corrected, "She doesn't respect people for beating her – she says it's too easy to do to be an accomplishment, but she does like winning,"

"Maybe I should let her win then…"

"Maybe you should offer yourself up for her carnal needs," Rachel suggested blandly.

Tennifer glared at her, "This is no time for jokes,"

"I so was not joking," Rachel said, grinning.

Tennifer harrumphed, "I'm going for a walk, I need to think… maybe stalk a little,"

"That's the spirit!" Rachel said encouragingly and propped her feet up on Tennifer's now empty chair.

Tennifer started walking the hall but slowed as she reached she elevator, she could hear voices coming from the stair well and quickly pressed the call button as she recognized Jacque's voice getting closer.

"You wanted to know if anyone asked about Erin?" Tank's distinctive voice filtered up into Tennifer's hearing. "Tennifer Tblz asked me if I knew her, I didn't say anything,"

"Thanks, Tanky," Jacque said in a silky, sexy tone Tennifer wished she'd never heard.

"I didn't do it for you," Tank said, annoyed, "That brat will rule MG one day, no doubt about it and if Jazz keeps her rule I'll never get my chance at power, if I'm going to have to beat her down I may as well start now – anyway I hate that Erin-whore even if she did-"

Bing. The doors of the elevator sprung open and the voices stopped. Tennifer's eyes widened as the footsteps quickened and she leapt into the elevator car and jabbed the close doors button, feeling a flood of relief as they shut immediately.

She looked behind her as she realized she wasn't the only one in the car and her jaw dropped at the oddly familiar people that she was sure she'd never seen before.

"Oh fuck, it's my spawn!" Lenni exclaimed, hitting the next floors button and shoving Tennifer out as soon as the doors opened.

"Hey!" Tennifer shouted and bolted into the stairwell, hitting the call button repeatedly before the elevator made it down. She stepped inside but was promptly shoved out by a rather sorry looking Tim.

"Sorry, you're mother rules me through the cro- uh, heart,"

Tennifer stared and flew down the stairs once more not stopping till she reached the lobby – the reception button was the only one alight before she was so rudely forced into exercise.

"Back again, Tenni? I see you've met your parents," Bekki said, looking over Tennifer with an amused glint to her eyes. Her face lit up as Lenni came closer though and Tennifer stood stunned as much squeeing and glomping commenced.