Second Rate Imperfection by Kiseki-no-neko

Second-Rate Imperfection

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Disclaimer: Oh yes, because if I owned Maximum Ride, I'd really be writing this right now, pffft.

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By: Bunny-chan

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Author's Notes

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Yay for me, my very own title, and not something from a song, I am SO damn proud of myself. –pats self on back- Anywayz, this is set 7 years after SOF, and is in Iggy's point of view. I feel sorrrry for Iggy, I love him, and I hate hurting him, but for this fic, it is necessary, blame Max if you want, it's her fault . This is kind of reflective, kind of muddled, kind of redundant, and just kind of messy, I like it though, yet I have no idea what genre it is, 'sides angst, maybe it's just completely angst, so…yeah, heh.

And something totally off-topic, would anybody be interested in writing me a Fang/Nudge fic or ten? –looks innocent- Especially since it will be my birthday on the 13th, I'll be 18, auuurgh! Well, if anybody is interested, I can set up a challenge, but I dunno, everybody is all Max/Fang, and blah.

And again, off-topic, why the hell do people always add –ness to the end of things? It's all Faxness, and Figgyness, and what the hell people? What does this –ness add to it? Somebody take pity on me and explain it to me? And now I shall stop, because this is long enough as is!

Anyway, enjoy the fic!

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She doesn't think I notice when she glances at them in that way, because duh, I'm blind, but I'm not stupid, and I can feel the envy coming off of her in waves, and damn, does it hurt. I've never really understood it, it was obvious to everybody Max wanted him, but she never went through with it, and he moved on, and so did she, to me, or at least, she tried to. I know she wants to move on, wants to be happy with me, and if anybody from the outside looked in, they'd see her as perfectly content with me, but they'd be wrong. She tries to be happy with me, to love me, and I know she wants it, but she can't do it, and I wish like hell she could.

She sits down next to me, greets me with a half-hearted kiss that I return, and she starts to read her book, as I sigh and lay back, closing my eyes. "Nudge, no, it's not gonna happen, you can just forget about it."

"But Fang, pleeeease?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Aren't you too old for this?"

"…no, of course not."

I could feel Max stiffen next to me, her breath hitched in her throat, and it feels like somebody's stabbing me in the heart. Would it be too redundant to say this hurts like hell? 'Cause it really does. Being second-best to somebody else seriously sucks ass, especially when that somebody else is one of your best friends. I don't blame Fang though, I just can't, he didn't try to steal Max's heart away, it just happened, and Max gave it to him, even if he didn't want it. Everybody had wanted them together, even me at one point in time, I even called him on his feelings for her, and instead of the vehement denial I had expected, all I got was silence, and a sigh, before he walked away.

I was never exactly sure what that silence had meant, maybe he hadn't seen a point in denying it, or maybe he thought if he did, nobody would believe him. After that, I had been convinced they would get together, but nothing ever happened, and somehow, I'm not exactly sure how, Fang and Nudge found each other, and they've been with each other for a little over two years now. "C'mon Faaang, pleeease?" I resisted the urge to snort, because I didn't need to see to be able to know Nudge was bringing out the Bambi eyes.

"…fine."

Ha, I knew he was going to break, I was the only person other than Angel that can resist Nudge, and Angel can only do it because she learned the Bambi eyes trick from Nudge. "Yay! You're the best, and I love you."

"Yeah, you should, and you totally owe me, by the way."

"I'll make it up to you, promise."

This time, I did snort, because anyone with half a brain knew the implications behind that, and I could feel Max's glare directed at me, I, of course, ignored it. I heard the release of wings from skin, and Fang took off flying, three years ago, I would've been worried, but we had saved the world, and we hadn't been attacked, and besides that, Max wasn't hitting me or anything to get me to take off, so I just stayed where I was.

"Oh my god, can you believe that? They're flying together!" I raised an eyebrow at Max's outrage, "So? We've all flown together before Max, what makes this so different?"

"I realize that Iggy," she growled, "but he's CARRYING her, like she's broken a wing or something, and can't fly on her own!"

"And once again I ask, so?" It was hard playing this role, best-friend-not-really-boyfriend, not a role I'd have chosen if I was in my right mind, but Max seemed to make me lose all common sense.

She huffed in annoyance, "He never did that for me, you know."

I winced; glad she wasn't focusing on me, but focusing her attention on them, just keep playing the role, Iggy, nothing else you can do, "Sure he has."

"Sure, when I had one of my brain attacks, and couldn't fly on my own, but never just because I asked him to, but he's doing that for her." There was clear jealously, venom and regret in her voice, like she had missed out on something special, something perfect, just for her, I guess I'm just not good enough, not enough to compare to Fang anyway.

I didn't bother to reply, because she was right, he hadn't done it for her, but then again, she had never asked either, maybe if she had, the situation would be reversed. I wish she would just get over this, he obviously was, he was happy with Nudge, everybody could tell, he smiled and talked more often, and of course he was still Fang, but not so much silent as a grave anymore. They were good for each other, and it ate me up inside that Max and I couldn't have what they had, even if at first everyone had been on pins and needles about their new relationship.

Nudge had come to me about two months into her relationship with Fang, when it was still new, hesitant and full of uncertainties. She had asked if I thought Fang was just with her because he couldn't have Max, her voice choked with tears, and I had told her, with full belief in what I was saying, that he was with her because he wanted to be with her, not with Max, or anyone else, just her, and that she shouldn't worry about that. She had hugged me tightly, thanking me profusely, before bounding off; completely ignoring the blonde she passed, who entered my room and glared at me, asking why I would tell Nudge something like that. And I said because it was the truth, that Fang just didn't want her, and that she had her chance, and didn't take it, and she could only blame herself for it. It was really the only time I had ever been that harsh to Max, and the only time she had slapped me so hard, I thought her handprint would be permanently imprinted onto my cheek.

Everything just sort of came together from there, or fell apart, depending on who you asked. Somehow, someway, Max decided she would move on too, that if Fang didn't want her, she didn't want him either, and she decided that who she did want was me. I wasn't stupid, I asked her point blank if I was really who she wanted, and she had told me yes, and I was quick enough to believe her. Now, I wish I hadn't, because all of this just hurt too much, and I was really better off without the pain. I heard Fang land, Nudge giggling away, and I almost smiled, but didn't, because I really didn't feel like getting another full-on Max rant.

Before I knew what was what, Max was kissing me. Not those half-hearted-I'm-just-pretending-kisses that she usually gave, but a passionate, almost-real one. I'm way too shocked to respond, but then she pinches me, hard, fingernails added to cause blood, and she's a bitch in my head for that, but beautiful in my heart, and I finally kiss her back. I think maybe she's finally starting to care for me like I want her to, that she's finally, truly moving on, but then I hear another of Nudge's giggles, and a, "They're so cute," followed by a, "They need to get a room," and, "We're not any better," topped off with a, "…true." And I know then that it's all lies, just like before, but I can't help but pull her closer, because she tastes like forever, even though forever isn't going to happen for us.

"Let's give those lovebirds their privacy." I want to laugh at that, because that is so far off from the truth.

"Gladly, ugh." And I hope Max doesn't take that for jealously, because I know it's only a brotherly sort of disgust.

But as they leave, and Max pulls away from me with shining eyes, and a 100-watt grin, I know she did take it as that, and I want to shake her for her ignorance, I want to shake myself for my own, because I know I can't let her go, not until she shoves me away, even though I hate her so much at the moment, it feels almost tangible, I still love her all the same. "I knew he still wanted me, he just doesn't want to hurt Nudge, Fang's just a good guy like that." She states triumphantly, and I laugh as I stand up, stretching out long legs, as Max questions what the hell is so funny, but I just shake my head, because she won't get it, she'll never get it, just like I'll never stop loving her. I walk back to the house, leaving her befuddled, as I continue to laugh at the both of us, at how fucked up this all really is, at how fucked up I am, at how she is, because to her, I'll always be second-best, can't quite measure up to Fang, but I'll deal with it, because she's Maximum Ride, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving her.

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