Scars: Original Version by javoraf

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Angst, Romance
Characters:Fang, Max
Published:2007-01-10 20:01:24
Updated:2014-12-13 17:57:20
Packaged:2021-04-21 22:53:18
Summary:We always knew there was a dark side to Fang. But just how dark is it? And how deep can your scars run? FAX! Warning. Rating totally justified, don't read if you get offended easily. Language. Original Version of Story. Unfinished. Plan to rewrite in future.

Table of Contents

1. How it was
2. HIM
3. Notebook
4. Scrawl
5. Deeper
6. How could You?
7. He winced
8. Scars
9. I don't understand!
10. Smart Ass
11. Killing me softly
12. Ready to Fall
13. Is it wrong?
14. The Kill Prt 1
15. The Kill Prt 2
16. Try and Think of What Your Missing
17. These Words Are My Heart And Soul
18. Beat and Broken
19. Author's Finishing Note

1. How it was

Rating: The rating is more like MT. For mature teens. I think its teen enough, but some people might not agree, so sorry. Its rated for language and the overall theme and later some suggestive notions.

Story: Some of this story is written as letters or journal entries. I will italicize those parts. And I kinda get some of my wording from different books and even song lyrics so if you notice a similarity I'm not trying to steal it. Review and tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't claim.


By: CrimsonScarz

The accepted theory is that once something gets sucked into a black hole, it can't escape. Well I know something that did. Me.

Her name is Maximum Ride. She likes to think I saved her one too many times, but really she saved me.

My life was one deep, dark hole and she pulled me out. You already know the story about the school. This goes beyond that.

Max is everything to me now and me to her. She saved me, and I chose her. We're the only ones left now that the flock found their families. I found mine, but I went with Max. How could I really leave her?

Max saved me. And I have the scars to prove it. Let me tell you this is not a pretty story, but it is true. This is MY story.


Next Chapter: The story begins! Max does something thinking.

Review please.

2. HIM

Story: The letter in the preface was written after all the events of the story happened. So the story is what led to that letter.

Info: 'Thoughts' : "Speaking"


Disclaimer: I don't claim.

Max Pov

He has a secret. Fang I mean. He's always so, so secluded. Well, he always has been, you know the strong and silent type, but this is different. The look he has all the time, that far away distant look; its like the wheels just keep turning in his head, or like he's trying to find a way to stop it.

I learned not to ask him. The one time I did, he flipped out. It was so weird. It was like anti-Fang. He yelled, I didn't get why so I yelled back, he left before we could work it out. It was a week before he would even look at me again. I wish I just knew what he was hiding.

I don't want to invade his privacy, I really don't, but I just want, no, I HAVE to know. And, well, if he will not tell me himself, there are other ways to find out. Just a perk to having a six year old mind reader on your side.

'Angel' I called out to her in my mind. 'Can you come here please?'

She flew out of her position and over to my side, like any of my mutant bird kids would do. Well, except Fang, he would never listen to a call unless someone was in danger. Nope, no orders for him, that's for damn sure. That's something I learned a long time ago, like back when we were in cages long. Those white coats never did seem to catch on to that little fact however. That is after all why we started calling him Fang. Fang, like a vampire, he bit the scientists, not to mention the erasers, stayed up all night and, oh yeah, did I mention he could kill anyone he wanted to just by looking at them? That look? Whoa, scary.

"Yeah Max. He does look like a vampire when he does that." I was pulled out of my thoughts as Angel spoke next to me. I quickly looked over at her.

"Sorry, I got sidetracked, sweetie."

"It's okay Max. But what's wrong? You never try to call me over using my mind powers."

"Yeah Angel, I know I don't. I just didn't want to alert attention to us. Can you tell me if you know what is..." 'Going on with Fang.' I said the last part in my mind. Just incase he could hear. I mean next to Iggy, he has the best hearing. I mean seriously, how does he do it? Well I guess his major paranoia has a part in it.

"No, Sorry Max. He's hard to read."

"What do you mean?"

"I usually can't read him. Anyway, it won't do any good anyway."

"Why is that?"

"When ever I can actually get into his head…"

'And a think head that is' I thought

Angel smiled at me before continuing, "When I do get into his head, it's all mumbled up and confusing. He like changes his thought pattern every two seconds. Plus, he has been extra careful around me, and has been avoiding me as much as he can."

"Why would you say that sweetie? Of course he isn't avoiding you. He loves you."

"Well, he loves you…" I blushed. "and he has been avoiding you too. But I have the power where I can accidentally hear something I wasn't supposed to. I mean I try to not listen to private thoughts, but sometimes I just can't help it. I guess Fang doesn't want to take that risk. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Thank you though." She nodded before flying over to Nudge.

I scanned the rest of the flock. Nudge and Angel were off to my left, Iggy and Gazzy were to my right with Total in Ig's arms. And Fang, of course Fang was far away from any of us. Now, he was under us, under me to be more accurate. He has a tendency to fly under me when we fly for a long period of time, you know incase of a Max Attack as Gazzy to kindly named my brain explosions, then he could catch me.

I don't get it. I don't get HIM. He's so, so, uhh! He has known me for forever! Why won't he just tell me? Why doesn't he ever tell me?! I mean God! I've only known him since we were in cages together. But no, that doesn't count for anything in Fang's book. Why doesn't it count? Why don't I count? How can I not count to him?

I mean he counts to me. In fact, he counts the most. I know he shouldn't, I know I can't, but I do. And it hurts knowing he's keeping something, anything from me. It actually HURTS. How fucked up it that? It's not right for someone to mean that much to me, but he does. Of course he does. It just had to be him didn't it?

You know what. If he's too damn stubborn to tell me what's going on with him, or ask for help, then I'll find out myself. I SWEAR I will find out.

Next Chapter: A little look in Fang's head. A surprise find.

Review please!!

3. Notebook

Reviewers: I just want to that all those who have reviewed. I'm actually surprised you like it so much already.

Story: So the story starts unfolding at the end of next chapter. Everything will be explained eventually.


Disclaimer: I don't claim

Fang POV

They know. They have to know. I know they know. I promised myself I would never let anyone get involved. But they know. What do they know you ask? Well, it's something I never wanted to get out. They know I'm hiding something. They know I've changed. That's what they know.

But the actual secret is so much worse. It's something so dark, so horrible, so… so pathetic they can never find out. If they do, they'll scream. She will scream. She will leave. They all will.

I know what you're thinking, no, they won't. They love you. They would never leave; they would accept you no matter what. They would love you no matter what. Well, I can tell you one thing for sure, you're wrong.

No, it's not what you think. I'm not on the other side. I will never be on the other side, even if… even if that's what they planned. I'm not dangerous either. Well, not to the flock anyway. I will never hurt them. There is no way. I'm not part something else, only your average avian American, like them. I won't turn into an eraser under a full moon; I won't burn in the daylight; I won't even grow claws when I'm angry. No, I'm not different. Well, at least not anymore.

But I do have a secret. I have to keep this secret. I have to. No one will ever find out. I haven't told anyone. I never will. The only other place this little part of my life is stored is in my notebook. My black notebook, filled with red pen, cover to cover. No one will ever lay a hand on that book. No one will ever even know about that book. That's for damn sure.

I'm sure you're out of ideas yourself about my little secret. I mean no one would guess I would be capable of what I did, what I am doing. No one, especially you, would even think I would choose this option; prefer this way to deal. But I did.

Do you want to know? I'm sure you do. Well, fine then. I'll tell you. I'm sick.

No, I'm not dying. I'm not sick with a virus. No, not that kind of sick. I'm more healthy than anyone of the flock members, and they are the most healthy people on earth. I can't even remember the last time anyone of us got a cold. You know what? I don't think we ever did.

But, no, I'm not sick. I'm sick. Mentally, I mean. It's not a disorder. I'm not schizo or anything like that. I could cure myself, but I choose not to. I chose to do this.

No, I'm not telling you what it is. You'll run too. Just like them. I know you would.

Third Person POV

It was night. A very dark, clear night. The flock was settled in a cave, high up in the mountains. They were settled down somewhere in Arizona, after a long day flying. They weren't going anywhere in particular at the moment. They had no motive to even move, except it would be too easy for the erasers to find them if they didn't.

A fire was blazing in the center, giving off eerie, ominous shadows against the stone walls. Angel and Nudge slept soundly in a back corner of the cave; Nudge's arm thrown over Angel's waist; Total curled up with Angel. Iggy and Gazzy were on the fast track to following the younger girls' example in the other corner. Max sat by the fire, fully awake on watch. And Fang, well, Fang was around.

'He never sleeps does he?' Max asked herself as she stared into the embers of the fire. She could hear him ruffling around in his backpack for something, apparently something important. Very important, for the next thing she knew he was by her side turning her around to face him.

"Listen Max, I have to go out for a bit tonight okay? You'll be okay without me for a few hours right?" Fang asked her.

Max stared up at his face in confusion. Confusion not made by his words, but from how he acted. He was jumpy and nervous, and Fang was never nervous. And that was scary in itself, the fact that she could see he was nervous. He never showed emotion this freely, either. But what scared her most was how he looked. Whenever she thought of Fang she could picture him perfectly, flawlessly. For that was how she envisioned him. He was how she envisioned the perfect man to be. His flawless skin, so smooth, made his already handsome features absolutely pure. He had deep, dark eyes that you just got lost in. He had thick, dark hair you could run your fingers through. And his lips, God, she only tasted them once, but that was enough to satisfy her for a month. His lips tasted of all that was Fang himself, dark, sweet, perfect.

But today, he didn't look like the Fang she knew. Today, his skin was pale, paler than normal anyway; his eyes bloodshot. However his hair still seemed to fall perfectly over his eyes, and his lips, well his lips still looked utterly kissable. But this was not the Fang she knew. Something was wrong. Really wrong.

"Max?" Fang asked after a few moments of silence. "Did you hear me?"

"Umm, yeah, uh, sorry Fang. You just caught me off guard. You know, talking to me and all." Max asked bitterly. 'Okay, so now he talks to me? Something might be wrong, but he doesn't get off treating me like a pariah without some consequences.'

"Yeah, I'm real sorry about that, but it's for the best, really it is. And we can talk about this later, because right now I really have to go."

"Where? What do you have to do?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Why won't you tell me?"

"It has nothing to do with you, alright? So just get off my back." Fang snapped.

"Nothing to do with me? Fang damn it! What do you think would happen to me if you don't come back?" Max whispered harshly as to not wake the sleeping.

"I'll come back. It's just a few hours. I swear."

"Don't give me that shit. I know you want to leave. And even if you did actually plan on coming back, what would happen if our great friend Ari decides to show up when you're alone. Now, I know you think your superman, but even you can't handle all those eraser lackeys that hang around him. What if you get hurt?"

"I won't. God Max! I'm not a little kid anymore. I grew up, just like you did. You don't have to treat me like I'm your damn child! Because, incase you forgot, I'm NOT!"

"I know you're not."

"Well, start acting like you know it. I am just two months younger than you, and believe me, those two months were made up for. Now, I have some personal business to attend to, do you need me here or not?"

Max just stared up at him incredulously. "When did it get this way between us? When did you get this way? You never used to treat me like I was just a thorn in your already fucked up life."

"Believe me, you're not. But I really have to leave. Please."

'Please? He said please? He's begging?' "Fine" Max whispered, "Go, I'll be fine until you get back."

"I will come back, Max. I will always come back. You should know that by now. I can't just leave. You would be dead from falling 1500 feet, and making a Max pancake on the ground."

"Ha-ha, you're funny." She replied dryly.

Fang sighed. "I know, Max. I know things are screwed up right now. I know it's my fault. I just, I, never mind. I'll see you before dawn breaks."

And before she could stop him, he jumped of the side of the cliff, spread his jet black wings, and flew toward the full moon.


Why would he do this? No, forget that. How could he do this? I mean a few hours? What could he possible need to do for a few hours, at midnight, by himself, alone? Is he trying to kill me, because he's doing a very good job. Killer glances, secluded attitude, major mood swings, midnight projects, and evasiveness. It's all going to suffocate me I swear! I can not take care of this flock and be a victim to Fang's emotional side effects. I just can't! He's worse than a pregnant woman!

I mean if he just talked to me for crying out loud. If he just asked for some help, if he just told me what the fuck was going on in his head then maybe, just maybe everything wouldn't be all screwy!

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him! God, he makes me want to punch his lights out, and I will too if he doesn't get out of this stage, and soon. I mean one moment he's the normal Fang, the next he's terminator Fang, and then he's… depressed?

Wait, Fang depressed? Is that it? Is that why he's been so dark? Is he depressed?

I open my eyes to take a look around the cave, anything to get my mind off its recent turn. I couldn't bear to think that Fang might be depressed.

The fire still burns strongly. Its flames taunting me, as if saying 'I could go out any moment, and then where would you be?'

'No where' I thought. 'I would be no where, because Fang wouldn't be there to put the fire back up.'

I shook my head, no, I will not think about him. Not now, not here where my thoughts could run wild, just like the flames of the fire wish to do.

I peek over at the flock, all 5, no, all 4 sleeping soundly. Sleep was the only freedom of our problems. Sleep is the only place were we don't have to worry about anything. Sleep is a place we relish in every night, our own personal safe haven away from everything we thought unfit.

The flock's steady breathing seemed to calm down my nerves. That was until I saw it.

It was right there. It changed everything I thought I knew to be true. It was spilt out of his forgotten backpack. It was black, and filled with red.

It was Fang's notebook.

Okay, really, sorry about ending it there. Next chapter is kind of a bridge chapter, but it's an important one.

Next Chapter: You find out Fang's 'sickness' Some conflicting Max thoughts.

Review. Even if its just to say you hate it, or love it. I'm not picky.

4. Scrawl

Reviewers: Thanx so much!

Story: This is a shorter chapter. It's really a bridge, but it's still important. Especially the end. Italics at the end are the beginning of a letter/ entry.

Disclaimer: I don't claim.


I held the book between my palms, ever so softly. It was worn down. The cover's edge was ripped around the corners, the back cover was duck tapped back onto the rest, pages were falling out, as if the book had been thrown around too many times for it to handle. Well, now that I think about it, it probably was, given our lives.

In the bottom right corner, in silver, was written a date. It was just over two years ago. Fang has kept this for over two years.

I leaf through the pages, not reading any of the words, or looking at any of the pages. No, I won't violate his stuff like that. Well, that's what I wanted to do. But just holding his past, his secrets, and not look? That was getting to be too much.

I recognized his hand writing. So perfect, it filled each page, top to bottom, front to back. There were little drawings here and there. 'Eyes. They were eyes,' I realized. 'Haunting eyes.'

'No, don't look. You're not supposed to see them.' I had to remind myself. I quickly shut the book. 'No, I will not read it. It's none of my business.'

But I wanted to. So bad, you have no idea how bad. This could be the thing I have been looking for. The thing that told me what the Hell Fang was. What he did. What he was. Why he is the Fang I know, the Fang I love. Why he turned into the Fang I now have come to recognize him as, the one I hate. This could be it. This could change EVERYTHING.

But what if I'm wrong? What if Fang isn't messed up? What if he just has something to deal with? What if I can't help him? What if this is the one thing that sets him off? What if he will hate me for reading this?

But what if I'm not wrong? What if Fang is messed up? What if he needs help? What if I can help him? What if this is the one thing that brings my Fang back? What if he thanks me for reading it?

Most likely not in this case.

I sigh. I place the book next to me and turn away. Maybe if I just forget about it? Yeah, right. Forget about it? Who am I kidding? There is no way I am ever going to forget about Fang's little black book.

Maybe just a little peak…NO! No, bad Max. Very bad Max. That's Fang's, not my, business. But it could be. It could be my business.

I glance down at the book. It just sits there, mocking me. Torturing me. So much like Fang himself, it's a little creepy.

I have already decided. I hate this book. I wish it to the fiery bottoms of Hell, where it can rot, and no longer laugh at me. Well, not really. I just wish it would go back in Fang's pack so I wouldn't have to stare at it anymore.

If I can't see it, it's not there. Right? What am I, 5? Uhh! God, Fang. Why are you doing this to me?! You know what, it was now I officially decided that if God is real, which I'm not so sure about yet, but if God is real, he hated my guts.

I slammed my head into my hands. Stupid Max. Why? Why would you let a little insignificant book get to you like this?

Because it was Fang's book. It was Fang's notebook.

God, I didn't even know Fang kept a notebook. Was it a diary? No sorry, diary is too girly, journal is the right word. Is it like poems? I snort. Yeah I could just see it, Fang sitting on a cliff, blood pouring off his scratched up face, writing poems. Ha! Yeah right. But is it song lyrics? I knew Fang always loved his music when we had a home. He was going to learn to play guitar. He would have been great. So maybe that's what's in it? May be it's not even worth reading. No, it's worth reading. I know that much, but I shouldn't. I won't.

I pick up the notebook and frown at it. It was so, so fragile. So used. You could tell, this would be one thing, if not the only thing, Fang would never give up.

I lent over to grab Fang's pack when a piece of paper from the notebook fell out. CRAP! Would he notice? Would he see a piece out of place and immediately think of me? I grimaced. I was so dead. I was so caught. Damn. Well, if I put it back, no harm no foul right? Yeah right.

I reached for the paper and froze. There was something wrong with this paper. There was something on it.

I picked it up and looked at it. My heart froze. It was blood. Fang's blood. He was bleeding when he wrote in this? What was he thinking?! Who in there right mind says 'Oh I'm bleeding, well I guess now would be a great time to update my book?'

I flipped the book open and leafed through the pages again, this time with a purpose. I couldn't believe it. Almost every page had some blood on it. Just a blotch, a drizzle, a speck, but it was there. This book wasn't just filled with Fang's thoughts. It was filled with his blood.

Oh, I'm reading this. This is too huge to ignore. If this is what I think it is, I need to help him, quick.

I started from the beginning. It started with the same date as on the front cover, only this time in red pen. Fang's perfect scrawl followed. And my worst fears came true. The next words will forever haunt me.

I couldn't feel anything. I felt dead inside. So, I cut today…

I'm SO SORRY! i know Fang isn't this emo, and he is totally OCC, but I have reason for this. I SWEAR. Just read it and everything will be explained.

Next Chapter: Fang's Blood Book.

Review Please!

5. Deeper

Story: It's all of Fang's little black book. Some entrys will not make sense until later. Some entrys are not as good as others. One entry is song lyrics. One is a poem. The rest are just journal entrys. YOU HAVE TO READ ALL of them to get his whole story, and even then it might not make a lot of sense. It will later however. Each entry is separated my a ruler for easy reading.

Remember: Fang's letters are in italics!

Disclaimer: I don't claim.

Letters: Fang's POV

I couldn't feel anything. I felt dead inside so I cut today. No, it was the first time and guess what. I couldn't feel it. So I pushed down harder, and nothing. Absolutely nothing. I dug deeper until I knew if I went any farther, I wouldn't be around to tell anybody.

But, God, did I want to go that little bit deeper. You have no idea how much. But I can't. I have to be here for Them. For Her. Even if She doesn't even know I exist.

I couldn't feel it. Couldn't feel anything, anything but that memory. And you know what? Not being able to feel? Yeah, that hurts the most.

It'll probably scar.


I did it again. Right under the scar of my first. I'm going to look like a fucking tiger with all those strips down my arm.

I used that old razorblade Jeb gave me when I needed to start shaving. I figured with all the emotional pain left by it mixed with the cut, I had to feel…something. And hey, the duller ones are supposed to hurt more right?

It didn't work. I feel nothing. I am nothing. I just take up space and food. I'm only good once the Erasers attack. But I don't care. It's not like I can feel it anyway.


I almost got caught today. I think Iggy heard me. You don't grow up in a fucking lab blind without knowing the sound of metal slicing into skin. But then again maybe Angel tipped him off. She's been suspicious, but I know how to block her out. It's just another way for me to be dead inside.

It's the 4th time this week. I know it hurts, but I just can't feel it. I want to so bad. To feel again. Feel anything. Even if it's only pain I feel. I'm scared of just being. If I can't feel am I still alive? I bleed so I must be, but then again it doesn't hurt.


It's a routine now. A habit I can't break. I want to stop, but I don't at the same time. I decided to try a different spot. The backs of my knees. No one will ever see the scars. Maybe the crimson streak running down my leg, but I'm alone when I do this. Always alone.

Always. I don't need this. I could end it all right now with my blade digging into me. No one would really care. Sure They would cry for a while, but They would move on. She would move on. They never even really had me.

But what would be the point? I'm already alone.

Always alone.



It isn't working, but it's all I can do. I can't control anything except how I feel. And now, I can't even control that.

You have no fucking idea how powerful you feel holding that dull blade, slicing it into your own skin, seeing the crimson leak out. It's my own personal Hell, but at least I'm controlling it. The only thing I can control.


I did it twice today. I thought for sure I would feel, after seeing Her doing it too.

She scared the crap out of me. I saw Her and the crimson, the sharp shell. No, I wasn't just scared for Her life. I was scared She was like Me.

I told Her, She couldn't get off so easy. If I couldn't just cut a little too deep, why should She get to? It's not like She had those fucked up drills at the school. It's not like She can even remember.

But I do. Every last detail. And, now, I can't feel anything. Nothing. Not even the sharp blade. It's too bad really. Say…do bird kids go to heaven? We already have the wings. But you probably need to be flawless to get up there. And I have my scars.

So many scars.


I relapse and then collapse into myself once more. A crimson haze covering my thoughts, as the darkness fades in.

And let me tell you, darkness is real. They try to take me down. And they try to take me over. I guess they tried to break me, because I'm beat and broken.

So I guess it's true. I'm just destined to fail.


I just can't escape it. The call, the ache. Something holds me down and makes me act in a way I can't explain. Even now I can feel it coming over me. Choking me. Sucking me in.

They say they know me, but they have no clue what my dreams could show them. I've tried to separate dreams from reality, but they just blend together.

I tried to satisfy this wanting. Tried to keep this hunger down, but at the end of the day I just end up carving into me.

I try to forget. I do, but the trauma they put me through. The crap I still go through. Sometimes, I don't even want to close my eyes, because I remember.

I just can't escape it.


They freaked out today. We were fighting the dog boys. Again. I can handle. I mean if I get hit, so what? It's not like I can even tell.

I didn't even notice it. I couldn't feel it. The only clue that told me They were right was the blood running down my leg. She stitched it up.

I pulled the stitches out.

I mean Hell. I've done worse to myself. I want it to hurt. I'll go for anything really. Just as long as I feel it.

I can't.


I didn't sleep last night. Afraid of what I would see. Of what I would remember.

I mean it's not like I can just forget. No, not like They can.

The light from the fire catches my eye as it flashes off the metal in my hand. My fingers holding it steady above my arm, as I gently press down.

I close my eyes…Stupid.

I can see it. Everything in one flash. Every last detail. Her pale skin, her lifeless eyes. The crimson.

I dig deeper.

I lunge at the Eraser. I see the fear in his eyes. What must mine look like?


He's dead in an instant. His blood covered me. Everyone stares, silent. Waiting. Watching.


I became what they trained me for. All because I could feel her heart beat. Her final heart beat. Not anymore.



The first cut is the best. Not enough to hurt, but enough to feel the sting. Enough to feel the pull. Enough to feel the satisfying ache.

Enough to NOT feel the suffocating emotion building up inside.

I don't want to be like this. I don't want to have to bleed. But the release feels so good. The ache too much. The pain too much. The memories too much.


I see her face everywhere. Her haunting eyes stare at me every time I close mine. I see glimpses of her in the shadows. She stays quietly, watching me. Haunting me. Slowly killing me.

She knows what I do. I can sense her watching sadly. The guilt nearly suffocates me. The heaviness pulling on my chest. This needs to end.

I puncture my skin and pull across. Blood runs out like a flowing river.

I want this to hurt. I want this to help me forget that night, that one moment that changed my life. How could it help?

I see her behind my lids. She frowns and a tear runs down her perfect skin. I want to cry myself, but instead I get angry. Deadly angry. They will pay for her death. They all will pay for her pain.

I will kill them all myself.




They said they had plans for me and others like me. Us so strong, so connected, so lethal. Who wouldn't fear us?

I promised I wouldn't become what they wanted, but I just snapped. Her damn dead eyes.

Let it come out. Let the pain recede. Let me move onto who I truly want to be. Let me leave this pain behind.

I was made to kill, guess they never expected me to turn on them.

They made the perfect assassin. To bad I'm on the other side.

The conflict kills me. I need it gone. That razor is my way out.

At least for now.


Screaming Red

Never Dead

Knife's Sharp Edge

This Right Now

Dripping Down

Crimson Streak

Down My Cheek

Razor Sharp

In My Heart

No, Please Stay

I'm Okay

Tear Soaked Eyes

Just More Lies

Never Dead

Screaming Red


I lean for your lips

As the world fades black.

They cut like the razorblades

You stabbed in my back.

Blood dripped off my lips

As you said no.

My white shirt turned red

As you let me go.

Your hands are at my throat

As you watch me choke.

Cut my wrists and let me bleed

With this knife you stabbed into me.

My blood turns cold

As I drown in your eyes.

My heart shatters

Like I'm just one of those other guys.

To die

Is nothing but a long goodbye.


He wants Her. That fucking BASTARD actually wants to lay a hand on Her!

He will never get to. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill Ari with my bare hands. I'm going to kill every last one of them. I swear I will.

They think they know everything about me don't they? Well, they don't know about my little habit. My little self inflicted wounds do they? They don't know ANYTHING!

This is going to end. All of it. I will finish them off. Every scientist, every dog boy, every last one will die.

If it's the last thing I do. They. Will. Die.


We were going to have everything. We were going to run away and never look back. We were going to live our lives together. We were never going to be apart.

I was going to protect you. I was going to keep you safe. I was going to watch you grow up into, I'm sure, a beautiful woman. I was going to save you. You were going to save Me.

But I didn't save you. I screwed up. I thought you were okay. I thought you were safe. I thought you could handle it. I thought I got there in time.

I was wrong. So wrong.

All I can say now, is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry you put so much trust in me, and I failed you. Shadow, my sweet girl, my baby sister, please forgive me for what I am doing.

The knife is the only way for me to forget you. It's the only way for me to justify your pain. My spilt blood makes yours not as bad. If I'm hurting to, your memory won't haunt me anymore.

But your still there. Always still there.

I Love you.



Oh, God Fang. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you fucking say anything!? How could you be doing this to yourself? What is the erasers not enough for you? You have to inflict pain upon yourself too? Why didn't you speak up when you saw the signs? Why didn't you trust me enough? Fuck Fang! Fuck!

And a sister Fang? A sister? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you had to watch your sister die? That you had to sit there and realize you were too late to save her. That you had to break the most sworn promise you ever made. That you had to sit there and watch the life go out of her eyes.

No wonder you're so screwed up. No wonder you're trying to forget. You feel the most powerful pain. I don't know what I would do if one of the flock was to die. And they're not even really my family.

Oh, God. Fang. I'm so sorry.

But you can't fucking kill yourself for that. No. You have to know I need you. How could you even think of leaving me? Leaving us? We need you here. No, I won't let you leave me. How could you do this? How could you do this to me? To my heart?

Okay, so that's Fang. Ask a question in the review if you do not get a part. I WILL ANSWER IT FOR YOU, unless its part of a later chapter that you can't know yet. But most of it is explainable if you do not get it.

Next Chapter: FANG'S BACK!! How will he react when he sees Max with his notebook? Uh, Oh.

Review please.

6. How could You?

Reviewers: I'm so glad you all like this story! I'm actually surprised you do, considering how depressing it is. But I love writing stories that people get so wrapped up in, that they actually cry. I'm so happy. I love writing serious stories, not all happy happy joy joy stuff. because real life is nothing like that. it's more like this.

Story: I realised I never said when this happened. This after the 2nd book. Max and Fang are 15 in this. Do the math for rest of them, anyway they aren't that important in this story.

Well, enjoy...

Disclaimer: I don't claim.

Fang's POV


Faster Fang.


I needed to move Faster damn it! How could I have been so STUPID! How could I have left my life behind like that? Stupid, stupid Fang.

My notebook. I didn't have my notebook. I always have my notebook with me. It's in my backpack I always have. The backpack I forgot.

I know exactly where it is. It's on the dusty, cave floor, by the back wall, behind the fire. Oh, God. How could I have forgotten it? How could I have been so careless? That book is only my life.

DAMN IT! I need to move faster. Now would be a great time to gain Max's super speed. Uh! Crap! Max!

Oh, God. Max better not have found it. I swear. This is all her fault! If we didn't get into that bloody argument, I wouldn't have been distracted. I wouldn't have forgotten my backpack. I wouldn't have forgotten my book. My damn book. Stupid!

I flew for an hour before I landed by the lake, earlier that night. The moon shone off it in a perfect reflection. I threw rocks in it. Nothing is that perfect. They disrupt the image. The ripples move away, as if saying 'You upset the balance, we leave you alone.' Oh, the story of my life, huh?

That was when I reached for my pack, and grabbed nothing but air. That was when the world stopped turning for me. That book could ruin everything. If someone found out about my little bloody habit, I was so fucking screwed.

The next thing I knew I was flying the hardest I have ever flown. And yet, it still wasn't fast enough. What originally took me an hour to fly, I flew in 25 minutes.

The peaks of the mountains we were staying in came into my view. I could see the orange glow of our fire. I raced toward the entrance. That's when I saw it.

She was sitting by the fire. She was looking down. She had my notebook on her lap, open.

She read it. She knows. It's all over for me. I'm so dead.

How could she do this to me? She had no fucking right to look through my stuff. She shouldn't have even looked at it! What was she thinking going through someone else's business? Does she think the whole fucking world revolves around her? Does she!?

God, how could she invade my privacy like that? I thought she was better than that. I thought she would never do something like that. I trusted her. I loved her. And I thought, I thought she loved me too.

Who was I kidding? She would never love me. I'm broken. I'm just Fang. I'm the one that sits up at night thinking of when the next time I would be alone, so I could carve into my arm. I'm the one that was supposed to kill her. I am a monster. I was her enemy. How could she love something like me?

But how could she betray me like that?

I land in a fury. I quickly run over to Max. She's shaking. She looks up at me and I see she was crying. Her eyes red and puffy, she looks at me with wide, almost scared, eyes. I angrily grab my stuff out of her hands. "What are you doing with MY stuff!? That's my private business!"

I'm towering over her still sitting form. She's kneeling on her knees, still looking down as if I hadn't taken the notebook out of her hands. "Fang…what…what is that?" She whispers, still in shock I suppose. Guess she wasn't expecting this when she decided to read my book.

"I just said, my stuff." I spat out bitterly.

She must have suddenly snapped out of her trance, for she stood up and stared at me sadly, almost hurt. "Fang! Don't act like I don't know."

"Know what?" I'm not admitting anything. Who me? Cut myself? Nope. Not me. Ha, yeah right.

She angrily glares at me. She looks pissed. Oh, yeah, and I'm sure I look a whole lot better. I'm sure I look like I'm about to kill something, anything I can get my hands on. "That you. That, That, to yourself."

"I have it under control." I try to brush her off. Who am I trying to fool?

"Under control?" Her words are dripping with venom. "My God Fang. You're cutting yourself! You're doing yourself in!"

I turn to her in a flash. My eyes filled to the brim with fury. How dare she judge me. "I thought you said you read them." I spit out.

"I did." She replied coldly.

"Then you should know I'm not 'doing myself in'" I shove my notebook into my backpack.

"Yeah, then what are you doing?" She asked disbelievingly.

I sigh and look past her right shoulder at the flock, surprised they haven't woken yet. Then I look right at her. "Nothing, it's just, I need to do this. I just, I can't." Why am I even trying to explain myself? She will never get it. "You know what? Never mind. I don't need to explain myself to you."

"You Bastard." She spit out vehemently.

I did a double take, then I stared straight in her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Bastard." Max spit out again. "How can you tell me, you don't have to explain yourself? Who was the first person to tell me what an idiot I was when all I wanted to do was get that damn chip out! You Fucking BASTARD! You were doing it yourself for over two fucking years!" And then she hit me.

We both stepped back in surprise. After a second, I whispered, "I know what I'm doing Max."

"No, Fang, you don't. One of these times you're going to slip and cut too deep. You're killing yourself! You're actually killing yourself!"

I step toward her. "Killing myself?" I yell angrily. "You think I'm killing myself? Do you want to see the scars? Do you Max?" I lift up my left sleeve. She looks away, closing her eyes tightly, as if trying to block out the pain. That knocked her off her pedestal. I just kept going. "Come on Max. Are you telling me you don't want to see? They're just a few harmless scars." I laugh out bitterly. I take another step toward her, arm outstretched before me.

"Stop." Max pleaded.

"But Max, you didn't see them yet. I have to prove to you I'm not killing myself."

"All that's going to tell me is what I already know. I'll see the cuts you inflicted on yourself and think, 'What? Is he suicidal?'"

"But you didn't look. I cut horizontally Max."

"So what does that have to do with anything Fang!?"

"If I was going to kill myself, I would cut vertically. Along the vein. Brings out more blood faster." I pull down my sleeve and back away from her. I turn around and grab my backpack. I need to get out of here before I do something I will regret later. I need to get out. Now.

Just as I'm about to leave I hear a soft voice whisper, "Why?"

I stop, but don't turn around. "I have to Max. I, I just have to."

"No Fang. Why didn't you fucking tell me?" She says, her jaw clenched shut.

That brought back the anger i just finally managed to surpress. "Tell you? Tell you what Max? What was I supposed to say!? Oh, I know. How about, 'Hey Max. Guess what. I'm so emotionally scarred I have to give myself real scars to match.' Or. No wait. What about 'Max, I still can't get over my sister's death because it was all my fault. But don't worry. I'm making up for it with my own blood.' Yeah I'm sure that would have gone over well with you."

"Don't be a smart ass Fang. I could have helped you!"

"No! No you couldn't. That's just it. NOTHING ever fucking helps! It's still there. The memory is still there. The pain, all of it! It won't ever go away!"

We stood like that, glaring at each other, for God knows how long. Until, we heard some shuffling. We didn't look over as a groggy Iggy sat up and looked over in our direction skeptically. I'm sure he sensed the anger radiating off of us. "You guys okay?"

"We're Fine!" We both yelled at him.

He was taken back. "I was just asking." He mumbled before getting out of his sleeping bag, and waking Gazzy.

Max and I looked back at each other. I glare at her, slightly disgusted at her. I shake my head before walking over to the edge of the cliff. "I'll be back in a bit." I mumbled before taking off into the rising sun.

But the thing was I wasn't so sure I was going to come back anytime soon.

In fact, I didn't know if I was ever coming back.

I love this chapter. I don't know why. I just do. I like writing out fights. No clue why, but i do. Anyway, hope you liked it.

Next Chapter: Some time has passed, but things between Max and Fabg haven't gotten any better. In Fact, they got worse. Now, with the Flock with their families, and Max and Fang find themselves alone. What will happen?

Agian Review. Please.

7. He winced

Story: So I hit by first writers block. i wasn't sure how to connect what i had to what I wanted to have. And I ended up with this. Not my best, but still very decent. It has some beginning Fax. :D

Disclaimer: I do not claim.


So, life officially bites. No shit. My life has gone from bad, to worse, to a little bit better, then it just fell off the damn cliff.

It's been a month. One long terrible month, since I found out about Fang.

Let's start off with him shall we? Alright then. Well, he took off that night, didn't hear from him for three days. Three bloody long days.

I figured he wouldn't be back that first night. Then the second night was still justified, but I still worry. You know how Fang tends to attract fights. Wait, no that's me, Fang's just the one that gets hurt because of it. Then the third night, Iggy had to literally hold me back from flying off to find him. He told me it was better if we were in one place for him to find us.

He was right of course, but I didn't want to hear it. They didn't know what Fang did when he was alone. They didn't know what he was going through. Hell, I hardly understood it! I didn't need Iggy telling me to let Fang come back on his own. So I, uh, punched his nose. Whoops! It was reflex I swear. I didn't break it…I think. I went to bed that night feeling guilty as ever. 'Yeah, punch the blind kid why don't cha Max. That will surely bring Fang back.'

When I woke up the next morning, there he was. Fang was asleep by Iggy and Gazzy, like he never left.

I sighed in relief before gently kicking him upside his head. He woke with a start, automatically grabbing my leg and pulling me to the ground, and pinning me under him.

I blushed like a bright cherry tree. Wait, no not the tree, just the cherries.

When he saw who it was he immediately loosened his hold and glowered at me. He let me up, but not before Iggy and Gazzy saw, and started laughing hysterically at my expense. Damn that plan back fired big time.

I glanced back over to Fang. He was still glaring.

And that's how he has been since. He doesn't talk to me. He avoids me. He can't even stand to be near me. When he has to look at me, he glares. The rest of the flock just thought it was because of a fight and we would get over it like all those other times. Me? I wasn't so sure.

They didn't see behind that glare. That glare wanted to bring tears to my eyes every time. It was so full of hate, sadness, pain. And it was all my fault.

But that wasn't all that pulled my life into the gutter. No. The flock, well, the flock is gone.

We did it. We finally found their families. We found Angel and Gazzy's parents first. They were somewhere in California. Turns out when they handed their beloved kids over to the freak scientists, they thought they were just the adoption agency. They had no clue they would be experimented freaks the rest of their lives. They accepted them with open arms, even after the wings. The kids ran to them as fast as their little legs could carry them.

Then, a few days later, we found Nudge's mom. She was up in Maine. She kind of freaked when she saw the wings. We were just about to high tail it out of there when she assured us it was okay. She was just surprised. She basically demanded Nudge to stay, but was giving her the option to come with us. She stayed. And Iggy. He stayed too.

"Max, I, I was invited to stay." He told me that night.

"And?" I replied.

"And, I'm going to." I froze. "Max, I should. I mean we should stick together, even when we're splitting up. Angel and Gazzy have each other, and I should stay with Nudge. Plus, where am I going to go right. My parents want to start the freak show remember?"

"But, what about me?" I whispered to him as more tears escaped my eyes. Damn, this is the most I've ever cried in my life.

"You'll be fine. You have Fang."

'You have Fang.' That was how he replied. If he only knew what that meant.

So in the matter of a month, I managed to lose my whole life. And what do you do once you've lost yourself?

I just didn't know.

Third Person POV

So that's how this came to be. Max and Fang alone together, not fretting over four other kids. This is what they dreamed of. This was heaven to them. Right?


Max sat in the cave. The same cave she found out about Fang's little addiction just a month ago. It was just getting dark, and Fang went out to get firewood. That was 30 minutes ago.

'God. Please. Just make him come back to me. Please. I don't think I can take losing another. No, not him. Where is he? He wouldn't just leave me right? He would at least tell me. He doesn't hate me that much. Right? Right. Of course this is Fang I'm talking about. Right Max, but are you dealing with Fang? Or Fang?' She sighed and rested her head on her knees, as her legs were curled up.

It was a full moon again. The sky clear and pitch black, making the stars sparkle like millions of diamonds. Making it the mirror image of Fang's perfect eyes.

It was a few minutes until Fang swooped down into the cave. Silently, he dropped a load of wood and went out again, only to return a few moments later with another pile. Max got up and wordlessly picked up the pile he dumped. Fang put his in the small fire, making it crackle then blaze to life, giving light to the so dark night. He turned around, and his eyes met Max's. They stared for a second before he shook his head and turned away.

That's when Max snapped.

She roughly dropped the wood, and turned on Fang. "That's it." She barked at him. "I can't do this anymore! You got something you would like to say to me Fang? Say it. You want to take a swing? Go ahead take it! I'm right here. We can do what ever you want! It's just me and you, Fang. There's no one around for miles.'

Fang stared at her silently, regarding her for a moment. He opened his mouth to say something, and then shut it quickly. He uttered something under his breath before shaking his head and turning away.

Max's face fell as the tears threatened to spill. He just took her broken heart and shattered it even further. She watched him get ready to leave. "No Fang. You're not leaving that easily," and at the last second she latched onto his left forearm.

He winced all too noticeably.

Max's eyes widened. She slowly pulled her hand back, afraid of what she would see. There on her palm was a crimson liquid. Fang's blood covered her palm. She shut her eyes quickly. 'No,' she thought. 'No. this isn't happening. Not now. God, any other time but NOW.'

A tear left its trail down her cheek as she positioned her eyes on him. He was looking at his bleeding arm with a hurt, almost guilty look.

'That's it' She thought. 'No more.' All the pain of the last month, her love pushing her away, losing everyone that ever meant anything to her, losing herself, it was all too much. "No more." She said.

Fang looked up at her. Still nursing his arm. "Wha…"

"No. Damn it, Fang. No!" she interrupted. "No. you're NOT going to do this to me! You can't. Not now. I mean God Fang! Is it not enough I lost my babies? Now I have to lose you too?" and she fell to her knees and cried.

Fang POV

I watched her fall to her knees, rivers flowing over her cheeks. And suddenly, it didn't matter that she knew about me. It didn't matter how much pain I was going through. All that mattered was that she was going through pain.

I walked over to her, and wrapped her defenseless body in my arms. She fell into them without any protest. She fought enough in her life; she didn't need another right now.

I carefully placed her in my lap and lent her head against my shoulder. She cried into it, soaking my shirt through. But I didn't care. I didn't care one bit.

After a few moments she began to pull away. I held her tighter to me. She pulled back harder. "No, Fang. No." She kept echoing those two words. Over and over like a broken record. "No," She tried to pull back again.

I wouldn't let her. "No, Max. Stay." My voice was sound and assertive, leaving no argument about it.

She threw her hands at my chest in protest. She slammed her fists against me repeatedly. "No Fang! How can you do this? How can you do this to me?!" And she fell against me again, sobbing her heart out.

I rubbed her back and pulled her hair away from her face. She was shaking violently. All that emotional pressure this past month couldn't be good for a person's health. I had years to learn how to deal with mine, and I still cut myself as a release. But Max, she doesn't have that option. What if she has a panic attack? When was the last time she had something to eat? Maybe her blood level is low. God. 'Sugar. She needs sugar.'

But we didn't have any sugar. So I did all that I could. I held her and lied to her. I told everything was okay. Everything was anything but, and she knew it. But it was all I had.

I rested my chin on top of her head, molding her body to mine. "Max, Shhh. It's okay. I got you Max. You're safe."

I shut my eyes quickly, pushing the painful thoughts from my mind. That's what I told Shadow. She was safe as long as I was near her. And look how that turned out.

I pulled Max closer to me. 'But this is different.' I tried to tell myself. "Please Max. I can't stand to see you like this."

She pulled her face back. I let her. She stared at me through red, puffy eyes. "You can't stand to see me like this? You think it's any easier seeing you every day, knowing the minute you're alone you'll be cutting into your skin?" She whispered. I stared at her not knowing what to say, or even if I was supposed to say anything. "Well, do you?" I guess I was.

I held her face between my palms and stared directly into her eyes. "I'm sorry." I whispered to her.

And I was. I was sorry she got caught up in all this. I was sorry I couldn't bring myself to talk to her. I was sorry she had to live this life. I was sorry she had to worry about me. I was just sorry.

But I was not sorry for doing it. No. I'm not sorry for that. That is my choice to make. I don't have to be sorry about how I chose to deal with my pain. With hers. No. I'm not sorry for that.

My thumbs rubbed the salty streaks from her cheeks as she continued to stare at me. "Tell me."

I looked at her in confusion. 'Tell her? Tell her what?'

"Tell me." She repeated.

"What do I tell you?"

"Everything. Anything. Fang, I want to know it all this time. Uncut, uncensored. Maybe then I can understand. Maybe then I can help."

No he's not better. It's not that corny. She doesn't cry and he never cuts agian. No. He still has that flaw, but her crying makes him see that shutting her out right now isn't the best idea.

Next Chapter: Everything gets explained from Fang. You'll know how Shadow died. Who everyone is. All his secrets. and if you're lucky some real fax.

REVIEW! please?

8. Scars

Reviewers: H-O-L-Y 79 reviews!! wow never thought i would get that many nevertheless in 7 chapters. I want to hit 100 sometime soon so keep reviewing!!and i usually respond to a review if you want me to.

Well, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not claim

Fang POV

Tell her. She wanted me to tell her. Everything. She wanted to know it all. She's right here in my arms asking me to tell her my life. I wanted to. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to know. She deserved to know.

But how could I? How could I explain something so terrible, so painful, and make her understand? How could she be affected the same way I am just through words? How could she ever understand? Better yet. Why would she ever want to understand, to feel the pain I go through every day of my life?

I look down at her still in my arms. She was so fragile, so innocent. How could I ruin that? If only she understood, she shouldn't know. There is a reason she doesn't know.

Her brown eyes stared at me, waiting, pleading. She wants to know so badly. If only she knew what these memories do to me. Wait, she does.

My arm aches from the thought. It hurts just to think about it, and she wants me to talk about it. I have spent the last few years of my life trying to forget that day, that moment, her. And she wants me to remember it?

I feel her palms against my cheeks bringing me to face her. "Please." I barely hear her.

I want to tell her, but I feel I do not have the strength. I mean, I can't handle it. All the anguish. I mean I fucking cut myself because of it. It's my fault my sister is dead.

I shut my eyes tightly. I feel Max wrap her arms around me, placing her head in the crock of my neck. I feel her breath on my skin, so soft, so gentle, almost none existent. I feel something wet run down my neck. She was crying?

I unfold my wings, so dark, like my life. I wrap them around us, creating a barrier from the outside world. I move my mouth down by her ear. "Why are you crying?" I ask her, so quietly.

"Why don't you just talk to me?" She moves her head back so she can see my eyes again.

"It hurts," I confess. Why doesn't she get that?

"Then we can hurt together." I didn't want her to hurt for me. "You have gone through this alone enough already. You shouldn't have ever had to in the first place. Just let me in and we can both move on."

"I won't." I was positive of that one thing. I will never get over this. And I have the scars to remind me of just that.

"We can try. Please Fang. For once in your life, let someone help you. Let me help you."

I stare at her for an immeasurable amount of time. I can't make up my mind. Thoughts go round and round, never taking a break. It exhausts me. I'm so tired. I can't fight this anymore. Maybe letting it out will let me rest.

I sigh and look away from Max's drowning orbs. If I am going to do this, I can't look at her.

"Where should I start?" I ask her. How far back does she want to go? How much pain does she think she can handle? How much pain does she think I can handle?

"From the start." She rests her head against my shoulder.

I close my eyes and shake my head. She will regret this decision. I take a deep breath. "Well, as always, all bad things begin at The School." I feel her nod in agreement. "I don't need to tell you how bad it was. The cages, the tests, the 'treatments,' us being chew toys for the dog boys. You know all that. But you don't know about what I went through before I met you."

I pause. Can I really go through with this? I pull Max closer to me. Yes, I have to. I can't stop now. "I was made to kill. Ever since I can remember there were drills after drills, shooting ranges, fighting techniques, flying practice, battles, orders, pain, anything you could possible think of that would have anything to do with building an army, we did."

"We?" She asked. So curious.

"Yes, we. There was a whole group of us. Me, Shadow, Hunter, Thrash, Lye, Claw, Talon, Ember, Bullet. We were the most dangerous group ever created. We were all hybrids of course. Part wild cat, part shark, part bat, that was Shadow. We were the only air hybrids created, me and her. They wanted to cover all the bases. Land, air, and sea. Guess which hand I get dealt."

"Why did they train you? What were you supposed to do?"

I stared at her skeptically. "We were supposed to kill."

"Who?" I didn't answer. She lifted her head and stared at me. "Fang?"

"You." I whispered not looking in her eyes. "Anyone that they couldn't control. Anyone that threatened to expose them. We were supposed to kill them. Kill you."

I expected her to run from me screaming, yelling at me to stay away. But she didn't. In fact, she rested her head back on my shoulder and asked, "What happened to them?"

My eyes grew dark as I continued. "Erasers. They weren't too happy about a group of freaks taking their beloved place beside the scientists. Now, some of us got lucky and expired before the attacks. Most did not however. And that's when it happened."

"Shadow?" She guessed.

I close my eyes, building a dam so the tears don't leak out. 'I will not cry. I spent enough time crying over this.' I told myself.

Max noticed my stiff position. I leaned into the hand she placed against my cheek, as my damn tears betrayed me once again, making their way down the scarred skin on my face. Max's thumb wiped away the salty streaks. "I'm so sorry Fang." She whispered.

I sniffed. I was so weak. I spent my whole life learning how to keep my emotions in check. When you feel, you're vulnerable. That's when the enemy attacks. That's when you lose. That was the first thing they taught us. 'Don't feel. Emotion is weakness.'

But the tears just kept coming. 'Shadow. How could I have done this to you? Why did I leave you? How could you leave me?'

Max is still in my arms, my wings still covered us. Now is the only time I can let go. Now is the moment of truth.

I open my eyes and let the tears fall freely and stare at Max. So beautiful, so caring, so pure. My perfect Max. She says something but I don't hear it. I see her mouth move but no words reach my ears, I'm too far gone.

I need the pain to stop. Where is my backpack? No, I can't do that now. Right now I have to sit and face it. I have to go though it again.

Her lips move again. They form my name. I wish I could hear it, but I'm in my own little world right now. And it's caving in around me.

"Shadow," I croaked out. I cleared my throat. "Shadow was the only one left. I fought for her so hard, I was only 8. She was 5. The erasers wanted her so bad. I didn't let them get near her. I fought for her life, not caring what happened to me as long as she was okay. The erasers didn't know what hit them. I was out for blood, but not to kill. No, I never wanted to kill. I never was going to either. I wasn't going to satisfy the bastards who did this to me. But I messed up."

"You were 8 Fang."

"That's not an excuse Max! I promised! I fucking gave up everything for her! I was going to keep her safe. Those wolves were never going to lay a hand on her! I got so fucked up over this. I was obsessed with it. Do you know how many erasers I hospitalized when I was like that? The white coats got pissed. They were going to terminate me Max! I was the one that was supposed to die! Not her!"

"Terminate? You mean…"

"The eraser was after me and she got in the way. I left her around the corner. I told her to stay, so I could take care of the fur ball with claws. He had the damn vile in his hand. I was so busy fighting this one; I didn't even think that maybe more were on the way, down the hall I left Shadow. I heard her scream. It was so high, so terrified, I froze in disbelief. I turned and ran as fast as I could to her. I got there just in time to see him drop her lifeless body to the floor. I saw her eyes. They're fried into my brain. I heard a white coat yell at the eraser, 'You worthless moron! You got the WRONG one!' I didn't understand it then. But I was the one they were trying to kill. I was the one they were after but they grabbed my sister instead. She was supposed to be alive. If it wasn't for me, she would be too."

I close my eyes and try to remember the sequence. I suppressed this memory so much over the years. My dreams fucked with it too. It all just blended together. "I, I don't know how long I was kneeling next to her blood, holding her body against mine. But the next thing I can comprehend, I was staring at the eraser who did this to my baby sister. He was looking at us with contempt. But his face held pride as well. He was actaully proud that he was the one able to do this, the one able to make the almighty Fang fall."

I sneered at the memory. His ugly face, I will never forget. His red eyes. His gray tufts of fur all messed up. His claws dripped of blood. And his yellowing fangs tinted with crimson as well. He was still fully formed. And the more he stood there, the more I hated him.

"I don't know how it happened, but at the same time I do. I just lost it. I couldn't take the pain. Not only did these fuck bags ruin my life, not only did they kill the only people I ever knew, my best friends, but they just took away my sister too. I hurled myself at the eraser. I remember his eyes widening in surprise and fright. He looked scared for his life I remember. I was sure my eyes held all the hate in the world. I reached for his throat. I killed him in seconds. His blood covered me. I fell to the floor, as I passed out. I went through so much, I couldn't handle it. I was so tired. My body just couldn't take the pressure anymore."

Max stared at me. I didn't want to go on. I didn't want her to know what I let them do to me. she would be disgusted by my weakness. "Fang? What happened to you?"

She just had to ask didn't she. I sighed. "I was a wreck. A complete and total mess. I wasn't even enough for them to terminate anymore. I became what they wanted, a killer. But I was nothing after that moment. I didn't talk. I didn't eat. I didn't fight. I didn't sleep. I wasn't even sure if I was still living. I was just being. They were afraid of my suicide attempts. They couldn't bear to lose this precious new subject. They never encountered a specimen that was just so willing to give it all up. For the next two years I was prodded, and poked, and tested on. I was given anti-depressants. I was force fed. I was given sleeping pills. Then one day, they put me in a different room. I was no longer alone. You remember that day?"

"How could I forget? You were so stoic, so dark. I just thought you had issues like the rest of us. I never thought…Oh boy. I never even bothered to ask." She looked at me with the saddest expression ever. She was disappointed in herself, for my issues. She's blaming herself for my flaws. How does she do that?

I rested my forehead against hers and stared into her eyes. "It's not your fault." I told her with as much meaning and force that anyone could ever use. She nodded slowly. I softened my gaze as I finished my story. "Over the next few weeks, we met the rest of the flock. And Jeb came to break us out. That's when I promised myself I would live. I would live for all you. If I couldn't save Shadow, then I would save you."

My voice lowered considerably as I continued. "But it wasn't enough. I tried almost everything to forget that night. I did every drug imaginable, but that doesn't help, it just fucks up your lungs and brain. I drank, but that only works for the few hours you're piss drunk, and the hangover is worse when you have to remember everything you tried to forget. I was the most fucked up kid before I reached my teen years."

Max was listening quietly, drawing circles over the fabric of my black shirt. And my heart ached with each movement she made. The hole in my chest needed repair. I ignored it.

"By the time I turned 13, I was smarter. Well, you might not agree. That's when I started. To cut I mean. It was the only thing that seemed to make the pain ease. The more pain I went through now, the less that memory contained. Shadow didn't deserve that kind of pain. I did. So the only way to even the score was for me to inflict it upon myself. And that's what I did. Then after a while, it stopped hurting. I couldn't fucking feel it anymore! The emotional hurt I went through that night overpowered the physical pain I was inflicting. But I couldn't stop. I needed it to work. I need it to make me forget. I needed to feel anything but the pain of that night. Physical pain I could deal with, I've had to my whole life. But I was so out of it. Reality was filled with my nightmares. It was suffocating, and the only way I could release the pressure was with that sharp edge."

Max had stopped moving by now. Her breathing was irregular. I could feel it against my neck. This was hurting her. I knew that much. But this is what she wanted to know. This is what she asked for. Isn't it?

I rubbed her back, right between her wings. "I'm sorry Max. But it's the only thing that works. It's the only thing that I can do. Max. I, I loved her so much. It was my fault, Max. Her life ended because I was her brother. Now, how am I supposed to live with knowing that?"

She placed her hand against my cheek again, resting her forehead against my other. I closed my eyes. "With my help," I heard her whisper. "With my help."


We sat like that, for God knows how long. Me in his arms. Him in mine. His wings folded around us, leaving us little room to move. I traced down his cheek slowly, cautiously. His lips parted under my touch. His chin was rough with stubble growing. How late was it? I didn't care.

My hand made its way down his neck, his skin so warm, so soft under my touch. I could feel his muscles through the thin black fabric of his shirt. I ran my hands down his left arm. Passing his forearm lightly, as to not accidentally cause him more pain. Tonight was enough for him. He didn't need to go through anymore.

My hand found his and I intertwined our fingers. I looked up to see him staring at me questionably. I gave him a small smile. "I'm here for you," I whispered in to his chest as I rested my head on it again.

We were lying down by now, unsuccessfully, trying to get to sleep. Or at least calm our beating hearts down to a steady pace.

His free hand rubbed my back, soothingly. Here he is, after he just spilled the most hurtful thing in his life, comforting me. Where did he find the strength? I'm actually surprised cutting is the only thing he still does. How does he even make it through the day? I would have broken long before he did.

My eyes wander to his left arm. How does it look under that black? Will it be filled with scars of different sizes? Different shapes? Different depths? Would his scars ever fully heal?

"Fang?" I whisper. My voice seems to break the silence with a little shatter.

"Hmm?" He answers, exhausted.

"Can I see them?"

He opens his eyes and looks down at me. "What?"

"Please? Can I see your scars? I think I'm ready to now."

He stares for a few more moments before ever carefully lifting the sleeve of his shirt up to his elbow. He doesn't take his eyes off me as I slowly reach out and touch his forearm.

I trace his scars. So many scars. Some newer than others. Some deeper. They all go horizontal just like he said they did. Some are straight. Most are ragged, as if he wasn't even looking when he sliced into his arm. His hand is clenched into a fist, making the muscles in his forearm show all too easily. I trace every scar until I reached the edge of his sleeve.

I run my hand up his arm then back down his torso. I reach for the hem of his shirt and begin to lift it up.

"Max?" His voice is so low, so husky, so Fang. I freeze. I look into his face and see millions of thought running through his head. One question standing out the most, "What are you doing?"

I don't answer him. Instead I tell him something I never thought I would ever say. "I love you Fang." His face stays impassive, but I see something change, some flicker in his eyes.

His eyes, so penetrating, I was sure he could see into my every hope, my every dream, my soul. My face grew dangerously close to his. Then just as his lips parted to say something, my mouth found his in the most bittersweet kiss.

And that's how I got to see all of Fang's scars that night. And, he, well, he got to see a lot more than that.

Okay, hope ya liked it. And I hope you are smart enough to get that they slept together at the end. I'm not writing it out. I have no experience, and this is only T rated. so deal with it, and use your imaginations. Go Fax!

Next Chapter: The morning after. Things are said, feelings revealed.

Review! Please.

9. I don't understand!

Reviewers: Thanx for the 100 reviews!! HOLY shit that is a lot.

Story: This chapter started off bad but I love how it turned out. So yeah. And it's really just a not so emo angst chapter. Fax. Total fax. Oh and it's weird when I proof read it I noticed some of it sounded like Twilight. Sorry, didn't mean to. But that is the ultimate romance book. And that's all I'm saying.

Anyway, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't claim

Max Pov

I woke the next morning feeling…well, good. As I came from unconsciousness, light seeped through my closed eyelids. It was dawn, I could tell even before I fully woke from my sleep. But that didn't explain this unbelievably great feeling I had in the pit of my stomach.

I took a cleansing breath, filling my lungs with the mountain air. But something else caught my attention. A different scent wafted up my nose. It was…Fang. Wait, I smelt like Fang?

I didn't understand how. But I did. It doesn't make any sense. I mean, why would I all of a sudden render the scent of teenage bird boy? Why would I…Oh.

The memory of the night before flooded my brain. Oh, was an understatement.

'Oh, my God. Did I actually…Did we actually…Oh my God. But, but, no. No we couldn't, right? I mean we, we're, I…We uh. Oh, shit.'

But how did we go from not talking to, uh, you know, that in one night? We were fighting, and then I cried. He talked, I listened. He told me everything. I can still feel the pain that wafted off of him. I can still feel my heart racing. I kissed him, and then…Oh, boy.

One side of me, the sensible side, was screaming at what an idiot I was. We shouldn't have done that last night. We were only 15, and we, oh God, we didn't even use protection. And he, Fang, he's not really doing his best right now. He wasn't exactly in the best decision making mind set last night. And that was a big, a HUGE decision. Oh, we can't forget the little fact that we are on the run from evil scientists and their lap dogs. My sensible side was saying I shouldn't have listened to my hormonal teenage girl side.

And yet, I couldn't bring myself to regret it. No, I didn't regret it. That was for damn sure. I love him, and that one thing seemed to make all those other points insignificant.

I loved Fang. And I showed him just how much last night.

I smiled to myself shyly. I just can't believe we actually did that. Oh, I bet Fang's just replaying it in his mind. That was the worst and the best night of my life. I found out just how messed up Fang is, just how dark his past was, but I realized it didn't change how I felt about him. I still loved him.

I rolled over and stretched my arm out, expecting to come in contact with the solid form of a teenage bird boy, but my hand just hit air.

I frowned, and felt around, but found nothing. I slowly opened my eyes. The light blinding me momentarily until my eyes focused on the empty spot next to me. I will admit I felt a little abandoned when I saw I was alone. I sat up to look around and saw our clothes scattered about the dusty, cave floor. That was when I realized I still wasn't wearing any. I was covered however with the one flannel blanket we owned. I didn't remember getting it out last night.

Fang, I realized. Fang must have gotten it for me this morning. I smiled once again. I looked around the cave in search of this perfect man. Yes, I did say man, for he was no longer considered a boy. Oh, he was no longer a boy for damn sure.

He wasn't anywhere around. I started to freak out a little, yeah okay a lot. I mean he wouldn't just leave right? He would tell me if he went out. I would have known if he was taken right? I would have heard him struggle. He was right next to me all night. How could I not know where he was now?

My breath caught in my throat. No, he can't be gone. Then my eyes locked onto his form. I felt relief flood from my head to the tips of my toes.

It was the most surreal scene. Fang, covered in a new black outfit, was sitting over the edge of the cave entrance. The sunrise made his crunched figure look like a painting. He was leaning over something, his feet dangling off the side of the cliff.

I sighed upon realization. He was writing in his notebook. Which means, he cut this morning.

I'll admit; I felt a little betrayed. But I couldn't exactly blame him. Last night, I was astonished he didn't just run off and do it in the middle of his flashback. I could tell he wanted to. I saw it in his eyes. In fact it was slightly surprising that he waited till morning, but then in a rush I remembered what we were doing after he broke down.

My cheeks flamed in embarrassment. What I was embarrassed about, I have no idea. I reached over and grabbed the first article of clothing I could grasp, which just happened to be Fang's big, baggy shirt. I slipped it over my head, not minding one bit. I got out of the blanket and pulled on Fang's boxer shorts and quietly made my way over to his still form.

He didn't see me until I was right next to him. He quickly stopped writing and glanced up at me. His eyes locked onto me. His mouth hung open slightly, his eyes swept up and down me before landing on my face.

Heat raced to my cheeks. I can't believe he knows what it looks like under the clothes.

I don't know how to act, or what to say. I mean really, what do you once the guy you've known since you were both being experimented on, the guy you grew up with, the guy you fell for, the guy you trusted with everything; what do you do when that guy just turns everything you thought true upside down. He tells you just what happened to him, to his sister. He tells you just how he thinks, how he feels, what he knows. And on top of all that, you just slept with him, and you don't know how he feels about it.

I could still feel his gaze on me. So intense. I wanted nothing more than for him to turn away, but at the same time, I didn't.

I fidget nervously, which is weird in itself, but me doing it was just on a whole new scale. I look onto his perfect face with the intention of asking him just what he was thinking, and talk about our situation. But the moment I saw the dark depths of his eyes my mind went blank.

"I, uh, I'm sorry if it's not alright if I'm wearing your stuff, but it was the closest thing, and I, I saw you out here. And we, uh, we haven't talked since last night. And, yeah, so sorry about the clothes," I shut my mouth before anything more idiotic came spilling out of my mouth. I just wanted to hit my head against a tree, hardly, and a lot of times. I sighed and closed my eyes in stupidity. He's never going to want to talk to me again. God, why was I so dazed?

I was surprised, to say the least, for the next thing I knew something firm but gentle was pressed against my own lips.

If I could have, I would have screamed in delight. But I couldn't, you know how hard it is to scream and kiss at the same time, and really, kissing was just so much more enjoyable.

"Believe me," Fang whispered into my ear once we parted, "You look much better in those clothes than I could ever possibly."

I giggled. I actually giggled. Such a girly response, I know. What was Fang turning me into? But none the less I giggled. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck; he wrapped his right arm around my waist, keeping his left out of my reach.

I pulled back slightly and looked at him. I reached for his left arm and he pulled it back farther. "Fang?" He just stared at me. "Fang," I reached for his arm again. He stepped back. I frowned. Why was he still hiding it from me? I knew about it, all of it. Why is he acting like he needs to shield me from the pain? "Fang, what are you doing?"

He just stood there staring at the ground. "Why are you still trying to hide this from me? It's not like I don't know. I mean God Fang. I thought we were past all this evasiveness. Did last night mean nothing to you?" I didn't mean to say that last part out loud. But I did.

His eyes lifted to mine, my eyes widened in surprise. They were black with a fury I've never seen in him before. My breath caught in my throat. He stepped forward quickly, determined. He put his hands either side my face and turned me to meet his deadly eyes. He left less than a centimeter between our faces. "Mean nothing?!" He whispered more harshly than he intended. "How could last night mean nothing to me? I just told you my darkest past, my most painful memory, my deepest scar. Do you know how much fucking pain I went through just so you could feel apart of my life? Do you understand how much hurt I go through every moment of every day? And you say it meant nothing to me!"

I'll admit I was a little scared of him right now. His words from last night echoing though my mind. 'You. We were supposed to kill them. Kill you.' I pushed the thoughts from my mind. No, he wouldn't do that. But the look he was giving me, made a chill go down my spine.

He softened his gaze a little bit and rested his forehead against my own. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. It's just. It still hurts. It always still fucking hurts. And I spent forever trying to forget it. Last night was just too much for me. I needed a release this morning. It was worse than usual. I'm sorry, but I can't stop. I know you want me to, you expect me to, but I just can't do it."

I kissed the tip of his nose. "No Fang. I don't expect anything from you. Just not to be left out in the cold anymore."

"I'm not used to letting people in Max. It's going to take time for me to adjust."

"I'm not going anywhere." We stood together, holding onto one another, for a few long moments. Once and a while I would feel Fang's lips against the top of my head. What else could I possibly ask for in this moment in time?

And yet, something wasn't sitting well with me. Was it just me, or had Fang just overlooked something very important?

"Max." Fang's quiet, raspy voice brought me out of my thoughts. "Max?" He repeated after a moment while turning me to look at him. I saw a glint of crimson off his left arm in the process. My heart tightened.

"Max. We never. Uh, wow, this is awkward." He sighed and ran a hand through his perfectly messed up hair. He looked, dare I say, cute all confused. "Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush here. And just be blunt. About last night, well, later last night…"

I closed my eyes. I was slightly dreading this conversation. I had an inkling of what was about to come out of his mouth. But really who could blame him? It was me who made the first move, it was me who laid my heart out before him, it was me who pushed it so fast. It was me who deserved to have the broken heart, the shattered past. I couldn't exactly blame him either. After all he is a guy. I should just make this easier for him. "You regret it." I concluded.

I wasn't expecting the incredulous look he gave me. "What?"

"You regret what we did last night. You wish we never slept together."

"No, where would you get an idea like that?"

"Look Fang. I understand really. You don't have to do this to spare my feelings. You were hurt, and I was willing. I get it. Really. Just please don't act like you care for me."

"Whose acting here?"

"Fang…" My eyes were starting to burn with tears. Why was he torturing me like this? Does he have to be Mr. Masculinity, and properly break my heart? "Please…"

I never got to finish my accusation, Fang's lips crashed onto mine. Only this time I didn't react back as I had the first time.

He pulled back after a moment, leaving me in shock, my eyes still closed, my mouth hanging open. He literally took my breath away. How cliché is that? I open my eyes and saw his, get this, eyes smiling into mine. "Max? Shut up." He whispered, his breath lightly hitting my face.

"Uh, wha-…?" was all my brain could manage to tell my mouth to say. It was still slightly spinning.

"Max. You can be truly idiotic at times you know that?"

That snapped me out of my state. "What did you just call me?"

"I called you an idiot. Got a problem with that?"

"What has gotten into you?"

"Well, it's amazing what sex will do for a guy." I choked, and coughed. My eyes wide. "Max?" he asked worriedly. He patted me on the back before pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry, that was extremely forward of me."


"Don't talk Max. I have to get this out or I will never forgive myself." He paused seeming to collect his thoughts. "Last night, well. It was hard on me. I mean telling you all my emotional crap. I didn't want you to hurt like I was, like I still am. But you wanted to know. You really wanted to help me. I really didn't get it. I mean, I've been lying to you almost the entire time I've known you, and yet, once you found out there was a problem, you wanted to fix it. Fix me. Even after I tried ignoring you for a month, you still wanted to help me." He paused for a moment, seeming to get lost in his thoughts.

After a moment he stepped back from our hug. He motioned for me to sit down. I did as he wanted. He sat next to me. I didn't get where he was going with this. I mean I already know what happened last night. So why was he so nervous?

He looked over to me and slightly frowned, slightly smiled at me. I don't think even he knows what he is feeling right now. "I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense, but I don't really know how else to explain this to you."

"I, I don't understand." I confessed.

He sighed and looked over the edge of the cliff for a moment deep in thought. "Well…" he sighed once again. "Oh Hell. How do I say this?" He seemed to be talking more to himself then to me.

He looked over to me and raised his right hand slowly. He cupped my face in his palm, slowly rubbing his thumb across my cheek bone. My heart started to race without my permission. Damn reactions.

Fang was still sadly staring at me. He shook his head, looking away, and dropped his hand from my cheek. "Ah, this is wrong." He mumbled under his breath.

My chest tightened as my heart ached. What? What was so wrong with him touching me? His hand landed by our sides. My hands folded over in my lap.

"I don't understand." I repeated to him.

He looked over to me again. He looked sad, almost pained. "I'm sorry Max. If this is confusing for me it must be Hell for you. I'm sorry. Really I am. It's just…I, you…we, uh…God! Why is this so hard? I know what the right thing to say is, but I just can't say it. I want to say one thing, but I know it isn't the right thing to say. And now I'm just rambling and stuttering, and you must think I'm a complete mental case by now. And yet here you sit. You are still here with me. Why are you still here?"

My brows furrowed in confusion. "Do you not want me here?"

"No, it's not that. It's just…" He sighed again.

I reached over and grabbed his hand and placed it in my lap between my hands. I gently stroked it. "It's okay Fang. I'm not going any where. I'm here for you."

He forcefully pulled his hand out of mine. "But you shouldn't be! That's just it. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve the pain I cause. Don't you get it? You shouldn't stay with me. I'm not good enough for you!"

I stared at him in disbelief. Does he really think so low of himself? He obviously doesn't see what I do. "Not good enough? Where would you get a silly idea like that? A so wrong one at that."

"Have you been paying any attention this past month Max? I'm not good enough. I have major issues. You don't deserve to be burdened with someone who can't even deal with his own pain. You need someone who is there for you and can take away your pain, not add to it. You deserve someone that doesn't sit and cut into himself from guilt. You deserve someone who can open up and tell you how much you mean to him. A man that isn't afraid to let you in. You should have someone that can, at the very least, be able to provide food and shelter for you. You deserve someone that can give you everything you ever wanted and more. A man that can give you the world. And that's not me. You shouldn't be with me."

I stared at him a little angrily. Where did these thoughts come from? Is this some sick, twisted way for him to tell me he's not interested? "What? Fang. How could you even think that?"

"I'm not good enough Max. I'm fucked up. I'm broken."

"What?! And I'm so much better?" I snapped at him. "I'm the one that fucking ruined 5 other people's lives. I couldn't provide food and shelter. I couldn't keep anyone safe. I couldn't handle the pressure of leading. I couldn't save them. I couldn't save you. I didn't even pay close enough attention to you to be able to see the signs! I'm the one that's scarred and dirty. I constantly attract danger. I couldn't do the right thing and leave. I was too selfish! I'm a genetically altered avian hybrid. I'm not even human! I'm a damn freak! I have air sacks and wings. I can fly Pete's sake. And to top it all off I have a fucking voice in my head that doesn't know when to shut up! How am I supposed to deserve someone, anyone? I'm not supposed to even be happy. Fang, God. I mean seriously. I'm not worth anyone's time."

"You are wrong." He answered. We stared at each other. Neither daring to look away. "You have no idea how perfect you are."

"Either do you."


I cut him off. "I swear to God Fang if you tell me one more time that you're not good enough for me, I will personally ask God himself so smite you. And if he says no, I will just have to kill you myself." He frowned at me. I sighed. "Fang. Please try to understand. I don't care about all that stuff. I don't want that stuff. The stuff I do want, I already have. I just need you by my side as I cry, as I hurt. That's all Fang."

"I don't have anything to offer you."

"I don't want anything you can't offer. All I want is your heart."

"I don't know how to give you that." His voice was so small. He seemed so young at this moment. So vulnerable.

I sighed and grabbed his hand, placing it onto my lap once again. "Just stay with me. Just stay the Fang I have known since I was 10. Just don't change." A tear made it's way down my cheek again. I gave him my heart last night. And he just doesn't get it. "I love you."

I felt his arms move around my body. His head rested atop my hair. I buried my face into his neck. "Don't cry." He whispered. "Please don't cry. Not for me. I'm sorry I'm so bad at this, really I am. I just never expected to have to do this. I never expect to be loved by someone, not after Shadow. Not after the pain. I never thought I could feel good again. I'm sorry; I just don't know how to do this."

"Just tell me how you feel."

"I'm scared to let myself feel. I can't tell what I feel. I don't know how to feel."

"Yes Fang. You do." I pulled back and looked straight into his eyes. Our faces were less than a centimeter apart. "Look at me, and tell me how you feel." I was almost begging him. I'm sure my eyes actually were.

He took my face between his palms again. He stared into my eyes so intently. "I. Love. You." He punctuated each word to make sure it was completely true. "I love you." He repeated.

Tears came pouring out of my eyes. Little drops of the saltiness broke as they hit Fang's rough hands. I smiled softly and leaned in and gave Fang a soft, simple kiss.

He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. "Hmmm…you have no idea what you do to me."

I didn't know how to respond. So I didn't. I just took a deep breath and inhaled Fang's scent. My Fang's scent. I'm sure I was getting high off it. It was like cinnamon, and axe. And if it is possible to smell strong and comforting, he did.

I felt him start to move back, I pulled him toward me. "Don't leave me." I whispered.

"Never." He replied.

I wasn't planning on ending it there but I didn't know how to move onto how I wanted without ending it. And I know this chapter was all mushy and fluffy. But we could all use a dose of that now and then huh?

No, Fang still is cutter Fang. He's not fixed just because of this.

Next Chapter: Max and Fang adjust to their new relationship. And go on a mission to find Fang's parents. What will happen if they do find them? And how can Max save Fang from himself?

Wow, it's like a really corny 'and stayed tune for scenes from next week all new episode of The Young, The Brave, and the Genetically Mutated.' Haha. Not that funny, I know.

Review! Please.

10. Smart Ass

Story: This chapter is fluff/stuff i wanted to put in. It really has nothing to do with the main story. But it does. That didn't make sense. Well, the dark stuff should come back in the next few chapters. There are moments of it here and there in these, but it really comes back at Fang's parent's house. Which they arn't at yet. So keep reading!

Disclaimer: I do not claim

Fang POV

I don't get this. I really don't. I mean it's my parents we are going to meet. I should be the one that's all nervous, all panicked. But I'm not. I could care less if we even find them. As long as I have Max, I'm happy. Well, I won't be suicidal anyway.

But Max. She, well, she's way too fidgety for my liking. She's trying to be happy for me. She wants me to find my parents, to be happy, to have a normal life; yeah like I can ever achieve normalcy with my past; but she has doubt. She doubts I will stay with her. She doubts my love for her.

I know she does. No, she never actually said it, but since when did she ever have to say something for me to know exactly what it was she needed? I could always read her. I could always save her. It was Shadow I couldn't save. It was me that I couldn't save.

We have been together these past few days…or was it weeks? I'm not too sure. We have spent much of our time in the dark cave, night and day seemed to blend together these days. Well, anyway, as I was saying, we have been together, changing from secret love to open love. And I've got to say, I'm not very good at it. I don't show emotion. Never have. A thing like that doesn't just change over night. And it doesn't change for love either.

But I try. I sleep with her in my arms. I answer her questions in full sentences. I tell her I love her. I show her I love her. I keep one eye on her at all times. I don't go off on my own, well, unless it's that. But even that I try not to do as much. I try to be there for her as much as I can, and I can't do that with her there. I may want to hurt, but I don't want her to.

I sigh. This is way more difficult than it should be. I look over to my right at Max. She looks back at me and gives a shy smile. I smirk. No matter how many times I tell her she's perfect, she still gets self-conscious after we sleep together. She gets over it in a half hour usually, unless I say something that makes her blush first. Then it's more like a full hour. Which is what happened today.

It was just over an hour ago that we were back in that dark cave; blanket covering us, my hand in her hair, her skin touching mine. It was as close to heaven that I was ever going to get, me and my scars will never see the light at the end of the tunnel. We will just see the endless black. But Max, God. Max is pure. Max is innocent; well she was innocent until I took that from her. But Max is perfect. Max is an angel, my angel. But even my angel can't save me from that black fate.

My smile fades from my face. I fly on looking ahead. We were currently, as mentioned earlier, on our way to where my parents supposedly lived. Well, according to the paperwork from Itex anyway. It was somewhere in a small town just over the border in Canada. It will take us a few days to get there, since we were currently just flying over the border of Arizona.

It was a quiet flight. I never talk. And Max isn't one to talk to herself, unless it's that damn voice in her head. Plus, we don't really have much to talk about.

Yeah right.

We had everything to talk about. But after that night in the cave, we tend to keep conversation light. She doesn't want the pain to suffocate me like it did that night. But it does anyway. She knows it. She sees it in my eyes. It scares her. I scare her. I'm a killer. I'm a murderer. I'm scarred. I'm tired. I'm dead. I'm nothing. I'm just Fang.

And yet, she loves me. That one thing seems to be what is keeping me sane, keeping me where I am now, by her side, on the way to meet the parental units.

Sometimes it's just too much you know. I'm sure you all have had those days. You know. Those days where you wake up late, end up missing the bus to school and your backup ride making you have to walk the whole 5 miles to school in the pouring rain, where you are already failing every class because you forgot that 100 point project at home, and to top it all off, you just saw your significant other smacking lips with the one person they told you they were just friends with. You know those days. Well mine are nothing like that.

Mine are not fruitless feelings. Not scream worthy. No. Mine are always kill worthy. Mine are pain filled. Mine are guilt ridden. Mine are where death comes as a true Godly blessing.

But you couldn't possibly understand that.

I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be pitied, weak, in pain. I don't want to be a killer. I don't want to have the guilt. I don't want to be responsible for anything. I need a break from my life. I need to pass out without the nightmares that follow. I need…something…I need life. I'm not living, I'm being. I'm dead.

But Max's love for me, started to bring me back from the depths of my self dug grave. Max is bringing me back to life. But it still isn't enough.

I slide my glance to my right, where she is flying; her long pale wings brushing the tips of my dark ones with every down stroke. Her eyes are closed, faced turned up toward the sky, trying to soak as much sun as she can now. Her long locks of hair being swiped back from the wind.

She looked so at peace. It was times like these when she would remind me of Shadow. Shadow had that confident air to her that I've only seen in one other person, and she happens to be by my side at this very moment. Shadow had those long, dark locks of hair as well. Her eyes were a stunning brown that seemed to grow darker with her mood. And the trust she put in me, was unparallel. How anyone could trust me with so much certainty was astounding.

The moment we met, she latched on for dear life, buried her head in my chest and cried, as if she knew me her whole life. She was so small and warm. She was 3, I think. Yes she was 3, for I was 6 when they put our whole team in the same room. I remember the Erasers running in and ripping her from my grasp. I didn't understand why I couldn't be with her but I could be with anyone else. Then they told me, she was blood. She had to be my sister.

I remember them changing her wings. That first time, I remember, she had feathers as black as night and as light as day down her wings. But the next time, I saw the skin stretched over bone. They weren't even bird anymore. They told me I was mistaken before, that she always had the bat wings. I was positive she didn't.

And I know. That wasn't the first thing they lied to me about.

Max caught me looking at her. She just blushed and faced away from me to try to hide it. I wanted nothing more than to hold her at this moment.

So I did.

I moved so I was flying inches above her, my wings flapping in unison with hers so we do not bump them in mid flight. She gasped slightly in surprise as I wrap my arms around her waist and bring her against my body, leaving just enough room for her to move her wings. "Fang! What are you doing?! We are going to fall!"

I lean down and kiss the back of her neck. "I'll catch you." I mumble against her skin.

"Not if you are falling too." She wasn't yelling. Her voice wasn't even at a normal volume. It was soft and quivering. Her breath came out more ragged as I kissed up her neck.

"I will catch you." I promised. "I will never let you go."

I heard her whisper, "I know," very quietly. We weren't talking about falling out of the sky anymore.

"Do you trust me?" I whispered by her ear.

"Depends on what you are planning to do." She smirked.

The corners of my mouth twitched. "Do you trust me?" I repeated.

"Yes." She said with certainty. "Always."

"Fold in your wings." I requested.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Fold in your wings." I repeated. "Let me hold you."

She turned her head to the side so she could see my face. "I don't need to be carried."

"I know. But I want to. I want you in my arms right now." I smiled down at her. "I love you."

She smiled back up at me. But it didn't reach her eyes like it usually did. But nonetheless she folded in her wings. I tightened my grip around her waist, and brought her closer. We fell a few feet before I got used to the extra weight. We wrapped our legs together. I rested my chin on her right shoulder. She placed her arms over mine. I felt her take a deep breath.

"I told you I wouldn't drop you."

"I will never doubt your awesome carrying skizels again Fang." She sarcasticly stated.

"Glad to hear it." I laughed.

"You're in a good mood today." She observed.

"I'm over 1000 feet above the rest of the world, with my love in my arms. What more could I ask for in this moment?" I kissed her neck again. "Flying helps me relax…usually. I can just get away and be free. My problems are left on the ground. When I'm up here, nothing else matters. My past, my pain, my…anything, it's all gone when I'm up here. And you being here with me…just makes everything more…I don't know, just good."

We continued to fly like that for a while; silent. Max's position changed however. I was holding her bridal style, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. Her face pushed into my chest. Her eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep. Every few moments she would press her lips against my chest, my neck, my lips, anywhere in reach.

I had a foreign feeling in me. It was warm and almost glowed. I felt content, loved, wanted, needed even. 'I felt happy.' I realized.

It was strange I didn't recognize this emotion. It had been such a long time since I was truly, without a doubt, fully happy. I was surprised I forgot how it felt.

I looked down a Max once again. I pressed my lips against her forehead. 'My perfect angel.' I thought.

She looked up at me in return and pressed her lips to mine. My eyes closed involuntarily. My lips parted and I breathed in her sweet scent. She kissed me harder. My wings missed a beat in return. Max noticed and pulled away quickly. She began to laugh softly at me. "Don't forget to flap there Romeo." She laughed again. "So no kissing while flying. I have to remember that." She lent over and kissed my cheek. "Hmmm… this is going to be harder than I thought."

I smirked down at her. "Did you really just call me Romeo?"

"Would you have rather of been called something different?"

"Yes, actually. There is no way in Hell you would ever catch me wearing those tights."

She started to laugh again. "Honey. Romeo is one of the most romantic characters in history…"

'Honey.' I thought. I liked that.

"It's a compliment. Really. Haven't you ever read the play, or at least seen one of the movies?"

"Of course I have Max. Remember you made me watch it one year on Valentines Day. You swore I would cry. I didn't but by the end you were bawling your eyes out."

"No I…Oh my God. How did you remember that?"

"It was the first time I saw you cry."

"No. It couldn't be. You saw me cry before that."

I shook my head. "No. That was the first. You would never cry in front of anyone, least of all me. You would always go off in the woods or cry in the shower."

"You knew about that?"

"I heard you every night after Jeb left. I wanted to go in there and tell you everything would be alright."

"Why didn't you?"

"It would have been a lie. I'm the first person to tell you life is hard. It's unbearable even. Things aren't going to be okay. You're going to be tested, and pushed. You're going to hurt. The only thing you can do is hope to find someone like you, and find a way to deal with it."


I nod my head. "Yes. Together."

"But what about all the good times? You have to believe life's worth more than pain."

"They make the pain worse. It's the same physically. If someone is hurt everyday of their life, the pain seems less each day, but really it's the same, you're just used to it. You build up a defense for it. You know it's coming and you stop it from getting too deep."

"You can't feel it." She whispered under her breath.

I sighed. She was talking about me now. "You can't feel it." I agreed. "But it's different for a person who only feels pain every now and then is it not? They don't know when it's coming and they don't know how to stop it. So it digs deeper and hurts more. The pain is worse if you don't expect it."

"Either way, it's still pain."

"Yes. It still hurts."

"Fang…" She trailed off.

"What Max?" I whispered.

"Nothing." She said quickly, turning her face away from mine.

"No, not nothing." I replied moving her face so she was looking at me again. "What was it?" She just stared at me. "Max?"

She sighed and looked away. "I was just wondering…well. I know you said you can't feel it, the pain I mean. But then how much of the pain do you feel."

"Enough." I answered.

It was starting to rain. The drops of rain running down my skin only to be caught in the fabric of my clothing. Max's hair started sticking to her face. I sighed. "We should land." Max nodded. "Know any places to stay around here? A nice cave perhaps?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Where are we exactly?"

"We passed the state boarder a while back. We're still near the Rockies. We were heading north. So I would guess we're somewhere in the middle Colorado."

Some flicker of recognition flitted across her features. "Are we on the same route we took to The School on our Angel rescue mission?"

"God I hope not. But, uh, we're close. Why? Plan on bunking in with some Erasers at the School?"

"Don't be a smart ass Fang."

"I'm sorry."

"Right well, I was thinking that….well. Do you remember when I left you and Nudge over that town to help that girl awhile back and I ended up having to stay for a few extra days…"

"Because you were stupid and got yourself shot at by a bunch of guys and you had to show your wings to a normal human you have never met before. Yeah I remember."

"What did I say about being a smart ass?"

"Hey, it was all true."

She sighed. "You know what, fine. I'm not taking you over there if you're going to be a jackass."

"Take me where?"

"To the place I stayed. They live around here. We could probably stay there for a few days. You know restock on food and clothes. And oh, shower maybe. I mean we are on our way to meet your parents. The least we could do is not smell."

"Or we could just not go."

"Fine we'll find a hotel then."

"No I mean, we don't have to find my parents."

"What?" She asked astonished.

"Look all I'm saying is it would be a lot easier than flying all the way there."

"But they're your parents Fang. Don't you want to find them?"

"What's the point? It's not like they are going to want me. I'm part bird for God's sake. I can fly. I'm already a messed up teenager. I mean they aren't going to be too happy to know I cut myself. And oh yeah, that I kill. I will have to explain why Shadow isn't with me. And on top of all that I have to tell them I'm not a virgin anymore, and that they either let you stay or I leave with you. And I don't even really care if I do find them. They mean nothing to me. They weren't there, I can't really blame them, but they still weren't there. They are never going to be able to relate to me or help me. And you know my temper. What if I slip and hit one of them? They're not geneticaly enhanced as we are. They will break. It's just not worth the trouble."

"Okay first of all, your temper has never slipped that much. You're not going to hurt them. And how do you know they can't help you? You never met them. And me? Don't worry about me. I can leave…"

"I'm not leaving you." I said sternly.

"But if it was between me and your family…"

"I'm not leaving you. You are my family. I only need you."

She stared at me for a second. "Thank you Fang," she whispered touched. "But we are going to meet your parents. So we can either go to Ella's house, or find some motel."

"A motel huh?" I smirked.

Max sighed. "Such a guy." I heard her mumble under her breath. "Fang…"

"I know. I was just kidding Max. How close are we to this Ella's home?"

"Uh,…" She looked down and around for a while. "I'd say 15 minutes. 20 tops. Can you fly in the rain for that long?"

"As long as I'm not struck by lightening, yeah I should be fine."

"Or as long as I don't kiss you again." She added.

I rolled my eyes. She hit my chest playfully. And just to prove my point, I leaned down and kissed her lips, making sure to keep my wings in a steady rhythm. I pulled back after a few moments.

"Show off." Max muttered.

"Only for you, babe."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay." I laughed.

"Stop laughing!"

"Can't…sorry." I laughed out again.

She kissed me. I stopped laughing. "Found a way to shut you up. Interesting."

"When do I ever need to shut up? You can never get me to start talking." She frowned. I kissed her forehead. "You know I'm right."

She mumbled something under her breath. I think I caught the phrase 'Arrogant Jerk' a few times.

I smiled. "So, are you sure we can trust these people?"

"Who?" I stared at her like she was missing something very obvious. "Oh, right. Well they accepted me."

"But will they accept me?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Well, first off, I'm a guy, and according to you I'm a jerk around other people. And, oh yeah, I'm the guy that stole your innocence."

"Stole my innocence? What is that Fang? We aren't in a Victorian movie."

"Fine, I'm the guy that Fuc…"

"Whoa. We're not in that kind of movie either. Watch the language."

"Watch the language. Ha. Yeah, right."

"And you wonder why I need a way to shut you up."

"I'm sorry. Now, there is a town coming up. Is this it?"

She looked down again, her eyes narrowed. "Yeah." She nodded. "This is it. It's by the woods in the back of town. That little white house there." She pointed to the house in question.

"Charming." I mumbled.

"Fang. These are great people. They like me. They know about us, well me anyway. So be nice. Got it?"

"Yes. Wait…they don't know about me?"

"Well, I never expected to be going back there. I didn't see the reason to warn them there are other mutant freaks out there."

"Great, just great."

"And oh yeah. I should tell you. Ella's mom, yeah, she's a doctor. A vet actually."

"She's a white coat!" And we were supposed to stay there happily? Was she insane?

"NO! I said doctor. There is a difference."

"Does she wear a white coat?"


"Then she is a white coat Max."

"But not all the time. It's the uniform. We can't measure every person that wears a white coat to be an evil genetic scientist that wants to test on us. In fact I remember the doctors that kindly saved your stupid ass wore those coats."

"And did you see me letting any of them near me when I woke up? No, you didn't."

Max sighed in frustration. "Fang. These are good people. Stop being a paranoid ass and trust me."

"I do trust you." I told her.

"Then do this for me."

I didn't want to. It was bad enough these people were normal, but the mother was…she wore…it just brought back some memories I would rather not relive anytime soon. And things were just starting to look up for me. I was right. Happiness blinds you to the pain.

I sighed. "Fine." I could do this. For Max. I trusted her. Really I do. I just can't help feeling, I don't know, I guess paranoid is the right word for me.

I landed in the forest just out on the edge of town. I gently put Max on her feet. She wobbled a bit, but I held her until she steadied herself. "Whoa. Major sea legs."

I looked at her questionably. "Sea legs? But we were flying."

"I know that. It's an expression. Jeeze where did you grow up? Under a rock?"

"More like in a cave."

She looked up at me and smiled. Then she grabbed a fistful of my shirt and dragged me down to her, pulling my lips onto hers. I smiled into the kiss. We parted breathless. I looked at her smiling as I straightened my now wrinkly shirt. "What was that?"

"I'm not sure how they will take the whole, we slept together thing. So let's just keep it on the down low."

"You want me to lie to them? I'm sure that's a great way to start off knowing me."

"No, not lie. I don't lie…"

"That's right. You fib in big portions."

She shoved me. "Shut up. Anyway. We won't lie to them if they ask. Let's just not right away state that we are living in sin."

"Ah, we'd be living in sin even if we weren't sleeping together."

"Let's just go." She started walking toward the house. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me. "Fang what…?"

I looked down at her. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you." She intertwined our fingers and we walked up to the door.

It was dark out, night. Rain lightly poured down. We were already soaked through. How will they react to a couple of wet bird kids standing on their doorstep? I was suddenly very nervous. I suddenly felt as if I had to impress these people, which was ridiculous, for I never had the inkling to impress anyone before. But then again, Max never had human friends before this.

Before I knew it we were at the, what did Max call them, oh, the Martinez' back door. Max moved in front of me and slowly lifted her fist to the door, knocking twice. We heard shuffling from behind the door, before it opened.

A girl around our age opened the door. I figured this must have been the girl max went down to save all those years ago, Ella. Her eyes widened as she saw Max. I don't think she noticed me yet. She flung herself at Max in a big hug. "Max! Oh my God Max! You came back! Mom! MOM! Come here quick!"

I heard heavy, quick footsteps come running into the room. "What? What's wrong?"

"It's Max!"

An older lady came into the doorway and stared at her. "Why, yes it is. How's the wing doing?" I thanked God she didn't ask why we were here.

"Perfect thank you." Max replied. A smile was plastered to her face.

"Well don't stand out in the rain all night. Come in." Dr. Martinez waved us, well her in. They haven't noticed me yet.

Well, until I stepped inside behind Max. All eyes were glued to me. "Hi." I mumbled after Max elbowed me in the ribs.

"I see you have brought a friend Max." Dr. Martinez said. Then she stepped forward offering her hand, smiling. "Hi. I'm Dr. Martinez. And this is my daughter Ella."

I stared blankly at her hand. Her smile faded and she dropped her hand to her side. Max frowned. "I'm sorry." She said. "Don't mind him. He likes his space."

"Who is he?" Ella asked.

"Fang." I mumbled. The eyes were back on me. "My name is Fang."

"He's part of my family. My flock."

"Is he…like you?" Dr. M asked a little wary, as if afraid she would offend us.

"You mean the wings? Yeah. Show them Fang." I raised my eyebrows at her. "Go ahead."

I shrugged and slowly opened my dark wings to their full 15 foot wingspan. They gasped. Their eyes wide in shock.

"They're black." Ella so obviously pointed out.

"No kidding." I said back.

Max smacked the back of my head. I pulled my wings in. "Ow. What was that for?"

"Stop being an ass."

"Sorry." I muttered under my breath.

When we looked back, they were smiling at us. "So do you plan on staying?" Dr. M asked.

"Oh please stay. It would be so cool! Just like last time Max! We could make cookies and everything! How long can you stay? Where are you going? Where did you come from? Oh! Are you two related? How long have you known each other? Wait, are you dating!?"

Great another Nudge. Max must have known that was what I was thinking because she looked over at me and frowned. 'Stop' She mouthed.

'Sorry' I whispered back. Then I lent down and gave her a kiss. I pulled away after hearing a high feminine, 'awwww' come from the direction of Ella. I looked up and saw her smiling at us. I'm sure I was smiling too. Max has that effect on me.

I glance over at Dr Martinez, she looked torn between being happy for Max and coming over and giving us the talk, which was, you know, completely useless at this point.

Her parental side won. "Hey Ella, could you give us a second please."

"Yeah, sure. I'll go make those cookies for Max." and she ran off into, what I'm assuming was, the kitchen.

I frowned. She wouldn't really… "I think we need to talk guys. Why don't you sit down?"

And apparently she would.

I always liked stories that they went back to Ella's. Ella and her mom were cool characters. Well, I tried to put some aww moments and some not so depressingness in my so angsty story. But it won't always be like this. Dark chapters so come!

Oh and am I the only one that pictures Fang with dark short hair? Like the main guy in The Covenant.

Next Chapter: A little time spent at the Martinez' place. A journey continued. A stop along the way. Fang's past catching up to him.

Review! Please! even if it's to tell me it was crap, i will appriaciate the honesty so review!

11. Killing me softly

Story: Okay, this is a kinda important chapter. And the real weird part I took from a book. See disclaimer below.

Reviewers: Thanx for all the reviews! luv em!

Disclaimer: I Do Not Claim. And the Rhyme used in this chapter was taken from the book 'White is for Magic.'


There is something wrong. Something very wrong with Fang. I don't know what happened. I thought he was doing so much better. I thought he was dealing. I thought I was helping.

But I was wrong.

Something happened. He pushes me away. He doesn't talk. He doesn't sleep. He barely eats. He doesn't smile. More scars appear on his skin. His eyes are frantic and wild. So much emotion in his eyes, it's hard to decipher one from another.

He's scaring me.

It started sometime during our stay at the Martinez'. I just thought he was a little weirded out by what Dr. Martinez tried to do. He did just blurt out we already did it the moment we sat down. I smacked him across the head…again. So Ella's mom changed from the abstinence speech to the pregnancy speech.

He wouldn't touch me for two days.

And that's when it started.

I would wake up in the middle of the night and find myself alone in bed. I would feel him sleeping on the other side of the bed than me. His long sleeve shirts came back. He looked as if he would just collapse in the middle of the hallway from sheer exhaustion. His eyes were bloodshot. His two word sentences came back. He flinched away from my touch. His notebook came back out. His eyes never seemed to close.

Worst of all. He looked at me with guilt written all over his face.

I don't know what changed. He was getting better. He was talking to me, holding me, loving me. But now, well, now he is scared out of his fucking mind. And he won't tell me what is doing it.

I thought maybe it was being around Dr. Martinez. So we left after a week with the promise of coming back sometime soon, both of us. And, oh yeah, Ella wanted in on the wedding. We almost choked from surprise.

We started heading up to Canada to find Fang's parents. I figured that might cheer him up. It didn't. The closer we got, the more secluded he became.

We made it all the way up to the border between Canada and Montana. We were one day's flight away from our destination. We were in someone's abandoned barn. I was coming back from in town with our dinner. Fang was sitting in front of the fire we built, eyes staring into the embers.

I sighed. Something was very wrong.

I walked over and sat next to him. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. I could see the reflection of the flames in his dark eyes. His jaw was set. His eyes fierce. Something was hurting him. Something was killing him.

I hesitantly reached my hand out to him. He flinched under my touch.

Tears flooded my eyes, streaking down my cheeks. I slowly lowered my hand down his arm. He closed his eyes tightly, as if in pain, almost as if trying to keep the tears back himself.

The crackling of the fire was the only sound around. My throat burned with tears. My heart had a hole in the center of it. Why was he doing this to me?

"Fang." My whisper broke through the silence. His eyes tightened more. Tears dripped down my face. "Fang…why?"

That was all I could seem to get out. But it was enough.

Fang stood quickly, pushing my hand from its current spot on his arm. He took a step back from me. His eyes intent on looking into the darkness. His actions felt like he was kicking me when I was down.

I didn't understand. I never do. Not when he is like this. "Fang?" I tried again.


"Fang!" I cried as he started walking away from me. I stood quickly and grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt. "Stop. Talk to me damn it!"

He turned his cold glance to me. He pulled from my grasp. "I can't." He tried to walk away from me again.

He was killing me. How could he leave me like this? Leave me behind to hurt over him? How could he not care? He said he loved me.

I turned him around to face me, and took a swing. My closed fist made contact with his jaw.

His head snapped back. Blood trickled from his mouth. "Fuck!" He yelled. He was moving his jaw back and forth testing it out. He wiped the blood away with the back of his hand. He saw the crimson that stained his skin. He looked up at me. I didn't know what was written across his features, but it wasn't anything good.

He turned his head to the side and spit out more crimson. "Copper." I heard him mumble. He glanced back up at me. He stayed silent.

I frowned. He wouldn't even bother to yell at me? I punch him and all he can do is stare? I feel the tears well up again. I step toward him, and push, hard.

He staggers back, stumbling over our packs. I push him again, harder. "You bastard!" I yell. I push again. "You fucking idiot!" I punch. "What is wrong with you?!" He falls to the floor. "Why are you doing this again!?" I straddle his waist, grabbing at the fabric of his shirt. "How can you do this to me?" I shake him. "Stop doing this to me!" I push him back down and punch him again.

My breathing was heavy as I looked down at him. His eyes were wide. His hands were down by his sides. My fists were knotted in his shirt. My knuckles were speckled with crimson. Fang's blood. I stared up at him again. His face was covered in fresh wounds. His blood dripping from each one. He didn't even move to push me off him.

Tears filled my eyes again. I took another punch. "Why…won't…you…fight…back!?" With each word, I took another swing. "Am I not good enough?" I shook him again. "Talk to me!" I slapped him hard.

The sound of my hand making contact with his cheek echoed throughout the barn walls. I stared down at him. My tears flowed down my cheeks. I sat back on my legs. I placed my hands over my face. I tried to stifle my sobs. I tried to stop crying. I've hurt enough over him. But I couldn't stop. I just kept on hurting.

I don't know how long I was like that until I felt movement under me. I felt Fang's slender fingers wrap around my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. My red, puffy eyes looked onto his beat face.

His eyes were searching mine. He leaned in and kissed my lips. More tears raced down my face. My hands moved to his chest. I pushed him back slightly. "No Fang."

He pulled my face back onto his. I didn't resist this time. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I could taste the salt from my tears mix with the coppery taste of his blood. He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry." I heard him.

"That's not going to work this time Fang." His eyes locked on mine. "I need some answers."

He glanced down for a moment before looking back up at me. "I can't."

My face fell. My shoulders slumped. My eyes closed tightly. I felt his arms wrap around my torso. I felt his lips press against my forehead, my hair, my lips. I felt him mumble 'I'm sorry' over and over again. Goose bumps formed on my skin as I felt his breath against my ear.

I couldn't let him effect me like this. I pushed him away from me. Pain crossed his face. Well at least now he knew how I felt every time he did it.

"No Fang. That's not good enough."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me."

"I can't Max."

"Yes, you can. You did! Why can't you now?"

"Because I don't even know."


"I don't know what's going on with me. But Max, it's not good. Something's happening. I don't know what, I don't know when, but it's coming. And it's going to kill me. It's suffocating. And I don't know how to stop it. Max, something's going to change everything. And it's not for the better."


"I've been having these weird dreams. And sometimes they come true. And the more I have, the darker they get. Something's wrong with me. And I can't stop it from happening."

Fang POV

It was pitch black out. The darkest night I can remember. I was running through a forest. My lungs burned. My legs hurt.

I hear my name called. A giggle is heard behind me. I turn to find nothing.

Her cries reach my ears. I run faster toward it. But the faster I go the farther away it seems.

Branches scrape my skin. Thorns cut my legs. Sweat drips down my face. But I push forward.

Her cries get louder. The knife I used during my time at The School forms in my hand. I burst through the remaining trees. The clearing is covered in a crimson haze.

I search the ground. Her cries still echoing in my ear. I see her form in the middle of the clearing. I swiftly walk over to her.

I freeze. She's gone. I hear another giggle behind me. I whip around.

She stands there, finger to her lips, "Shhh." A blink later she is on the other side of the clearing. Another form in front of her. "Come play." She waves me over.

"Play?" I ask her. She's next to me taking my hand in hers.

"Uh huh." She nods. We start to walk over to the form lying on the blood stained ground.

"Who's that?" I ask.

She shakes her head at me. We reach the other body. She lets go of my hand as I step forward. I hear Shadow start her rhymes as I get closer.

"Miss. Mary Mack, Mack, Mack. All dressed in black, black, black…."

I reach the other form and kneel beside it.

"She has a knife, knife, knife. Stuck in her back, back, back..."

I reach out slowly…

"She can not breathe, breathe, breathe. She can not cry, cry, cry…"

I turn it over and gasp…

"That's why she begs, begs, begs. She begs to die, die, die."

It was the most horrible sight I have ever seen. Max's body was all mangled and torn. Her eyes wide with fright. Blood covered every part of her body. The knife that was previously in my hand was now wedged in her back. "Fang…" She croaks out.

I hear Shadow behind me giggling again. I turn to her. She stood behind me. I choked. Blood covered her as well. "No! Stop this! Why are you doing this?!"

"Me? I can't stop it. But you can." She started towards me. The bloody knife in her hands. "Save her, save me, save us." With each word she comes a step forward, "Save her, save me, save us. Save her, save me, save us." She placed the knife in my hands. "Save her, save me, save us. Save yourself."

I shut my eyes tight.

I gasped and sat up straight in bed. Sweat covered me, making my clothes stick to my skin. My breathing was heavy and ragged. My head pounded.

I looked to my left. Max was lying there. Silently sleeping, my clothes covering her. I moved her hair out of her face. No blood. That's good.

I sighed and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. That was the worst one yet. Max's dying self was burned into my memory. Shadow's words running round and round in my head.

I took a few deep breaths. It felt like a ten ton weight was placed on my chest, making it impossible to breathe.

I clutched my head as another searing pain went through it. I don't know what Max's brain attacks are like, but they couldn't be much worse than this. My eyes were screwed shut. My teeth grinded against each other. I took deep breaths through my nose. Something big was going on.

The pain slowly ebbed away. I opened my eyes and gasped. Shadow was right in front of my face. Her head titled. She smiled at me. "I'll be back for you." She whispered. Then she was gone.

I blinked a few times. Great now I was going insane. Just what I needed the day before I meet my parents. Just great.

I sighed again. I took one more glance at Max to make sure she was asleep. She was.

I quietly got up, grabbed my jacket, threw on my black sneaks, and walked out of the barn.

It was starting to get cold again. I could see my breath as I walked away from the warmth of the fire. I looked up and saw the clear sky. If I could I would rip its perfect-ness right off its smirking face. I sighed. Maybe I was going insane.

I made my way over to a clearing and leapt into the air. I flew for awhile, clearing my mind, when I came across a town. I landed a little way off from it. I made my way toward the lit side of town, the 24 hour store side. I made sure my wings were covered then stepped through the door to a Wal-mart.

It had to be at least 3 in the morning but there were plenty of people here. I did a quick sweep of the perimeter. No model looking people. I'm okay.

I made my way through the store, letting my feet guide me. I kept my head down, my hair falling over my eyes. I'm sure I looked like I was about to use the 5 finger discount. And I was. The employees were keeping an eye on me, and with good reason. But so were a couple of teenage girls, but for a whole other reason.

"Oh, my, God! Do you see him? I'm glad your mom made us come after all Kate." I heard one of them say. I didn't have to be close with my genetically enhanced hearing to know what they were saying.

"Have you ever seen him before?"

"No. But who cares. He is H-O-T."

"He's got that 'I-could-kick-your-ass' look about him."

"Total Emo hotness!"

"Oh my God. He's coming over here."

"Shit. I should have put on some make-up."

I brushed by them quickly. Trying to ignore their stares. I felt like I was back at The School, when I was on 'observation.'

I felt one of them reach out and grab my arm. I spun around quickly. Maybe I was wrong about the no eraser thing. The girl backed up surprised. No, I wasn't wrong. It was just a stupid, hormonal, teenage girl. "Is there something you want?" I tried to sound friendly, it didn't work. It came just as harsh as I thought it would.

"Uh…yeah." She flipped her hair over her shoulder. Pathetic. "I was just wondering, would you happen to know where I could find the cds?"

I stared at her a second. "No." I replied curtly, with an 'end of discussion' tone to it.

She didn't get the hint. "Oh, well, it just looked like you would."

"Well, I don't." I tried to move around her.

She stuck her hand out in front of me. "Well, I'm Kate. And this is my friend Katie."

"Kate and Katie?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. I know. Weird isn't it?" I just stared at her. "So what's your name?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Nick." I replied. I tried to walk away again.

"Nick huh? Well that's a really good name."

"I like to think so." I tried again.

"So I was just wondering…"

I had enough of this. I turned on her quickly. "Look, Kate was it? I'm really, really not interested."

"Oh." Her face fell. Then her eyes seemed to light up a bit. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No." I pushed around her. "Wife." I called over my shoulder.

I walked around the corner, the corners of my mouth turned up. What? I had to say something. You should have seen the way she was all over my personal space. And a wife would definitely get her to back off. A girlfriend might not have. And Max will be my wife, someday.

I froze. Wait? Did I really just think that? How the hell are we ever going to find the time to get married? Let alone the money to. Plus that whole, we're only 15 thing. Yeah…

I shook the thought from my head. I turned down another aisle. I grabbed some more bandages, antiseptic, hydrogen peroxide, and all that good stuff. I turned around and came face to face with the one thing I wasn't so sure about getting, but Dr. Martinez' voice was rambling over and over in my head. So I grabbed a pack of condoms and put them with the rest of the stuff.

I was about to bolt for the door, when a glass case caught my eye. I walked over and peaked inside. I frowned. Of course I would be drawn here. It was the weapons case.

I could tell you right now what every gun was, every knife, when each were the best to use, how to use them, where to keep them on yourself. I could tell you anything you wanted to know about them.

But even after all that, one specific knife caught my eye. It was the same one I chose to use during my training. The one from my nightmare. I felt sick.

I turned and quickly made my way to the door. I walked out and ran as the alarms went off. I heard shouting behind me. As I turned the corner I took off into the air. They were never going to find me. Because as far as they are concerned.

I don't exist.

A few minutes later I landed at our temporary campout. I grabbed my backpack and took it outside with me. I didn't want to wake Max up. I dumped my stuff into it, replacing the old with the new. I put it off to the side once I was done.

I took a deep breath. The cold was starting to get to me. I placed my hands into my pockets. I hissed in pain as I felt something dig into my fingers.

I pulled my hand out and small droplets of blood come out of the fresh cut on my left hand. I put my hand back in my pocket and took out the thing that did this.

I stopped breathing.

The knife. The one form the store, from my nightmare, from my past. It was in my hands now. But…how…where did…No. This was not happening.

I took in a shaky breath. No, no. God, please no.

I heard some rustling behind me, in the forest. And without thinking I spun around and threw the knife at the sound. It stuck in a tree trunk faster than you could blink.

My eyes widened. Oh, Shit. It was happening.

Dun, dun, dun...

Hehe. no jp. But I hope ya liked this one. I wasn't even planning on this one either. It just happened.

Next Chapter: They actually finally get to Fang's parent's house. Not sure where I am going to end it so I don't want to give too much away. But Fang has to deal with his new issue, and Max has to try to figure it out. Ect, ect. ya know.

Please Review!

12. Ready to Fall

Story: I hope you like this one. It's kinda long, and some ideas are taken from other stories and the book, but hey, there really are so many ways you can have a 'meet the parents' chapter, right?


Disclaimer: I don't Claim…


Have you ever realized you waste most of your life waiting? You spend all your time waiting, moving, hurrying to the thing you were planning. Then, once you get there, you realize you just wasted all that time looking forward, not living in the moment.

Well that's how I felt now. We have spent the past week or so on our way to meet Fang's parents, and now we are finally here. And the only thing I can seem to think of is why didn't I spend more time with him while I could?

I mean I have no idea how this will turn out. Will they freak? Will they hate him? Hate me? Will they not want him? Not let me stay? Will they love him? Love me? Will he stay? Will I stay? Will he leave me? Could I leave him?

A million thoughts kept running through my head. I couldn't suppress them. And I didn't try.

We were standing on the front porch of a huge stone house. It was, according to the paperwork, where Fang's parents lived. They obviously weren't struggling to make ends meet. This place was huge. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw Dracula walking by one of the windows. It was a tall, mansion-like building. Gray stone covered the walls, a large yard surrounded the building, and lights were seen on through the windows.

It was night by the time we made it here. When we saw the building we had to double check the address. We didn't expect him to be rich. But come to think of it, we haven't really talked about this much. But when does Fang openly talk about something important?

I slid my glance over to my right. Fang stood there looking at the big wood doors. To anyone he would look completely calm, serene even. Like it didn't matter that his parents were on the other side of the door. But I saw the stiff way his jaw was set, the way his eyes were frantic. His breathing was a little heavier.

I looped my arm through his and rested my head against his shoulder. I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say. I haven't known what to say to him lately. Not since I found out about his little habit. And now with his fucked up dreams, I don't know what to do anymore.

I felt him sigh. What was going on through his head? Wasn't he happy about this? I mean it is his parents, his actual family. And hell, they're loaded for God's sake. He could have been a lot worse off.

He could be like me.

My stomach knotted. That wasn't right. I couldn't dismiss Fang's pain just because he might have found a family. I can't blame him for the absence of information on my part.

And who knows? This trip might make things worse for all we know.

I turned and placed a kiss against the sleeve of his black jacket. I looked up at him, and he stared down at me, hair falling into his eyes. I reached up and moved it away from his face. I sighed. "So you ready for this?"

"Absolutely not. You?"

"Same. So shall we?" I motioned toward the house. He nodded reluctantly and pushed his finger to the doorbell. The ring seemed to echo throughout the home.

Fang stepped back and placed his arm back around me, keeping me close to him. I breathed in his scent, calming my nerves. I could feel his hand rubbing between my wings shakily.

We heard some shuffling behind the door before it opened wide.

There stood a woman. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore blue jeans and a red tank top that would show nothing of her luxurious life. She wore red rimmed glasses and her nails were painted a navy blue. She looked nothing of Fang and he seemed to agree by the way he kept eyeing her warily. She looked at each of us questioningly before asking, "Can I help you with anything?"

I took a quick glance at Fang. He nodded so only I would catch it. I shrugged. I might as well ask. I turned my gaze back to the woman at the door. "Are you a Mrs. Parker?"

She glanced between the two of us again. "Yes. Do I know you?"

"No. You don't, but…" I glanced at Fang again. He shrugged this time. "You didn't happen to lose a son about 15 years ago, did you?"

Her brows furrowed together. "No. I'm sorry I didn't."

I felt Fang's hand stop moving on my back. I glanced at him, no one would see the way his eyes frowned but I knew him too well. I squeezed around his waist where my arms were lying, some form of comfort I hope.

I looked back at the woman that just a few moments ago had the possibility, even if slight, to be Fang's mother. Her eyes were scrutinizing us. I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry to bother you then. We will just go."

We turned around ready to be on our way. "Wait…" We heard the woman call to us as we started to leave. We turned to face her. "I didn't lose a son, but my husband did."

We looked at her questioningly. "How did you not but he…" I started, but was interrupted by her again.

"He remarried…me. The mother died in birth. They were real young, it wasn't planned. You know typical teenage birth. But she just didn't make it. Apparently either did the baby."

We stared at her in shock. So maybe we weren't wrong about this place. "So what your saying is, your husband, Mr. Parker, he lost a son 15 years ago?"

She nodded. "Yes, but how would you know that?"

"This may be hard to believe but we don't think the baby died."

"And who are you to assume that?" She was getting irritated. "How could you possibly know that?"

I grabbed Fang and pushed him in front of me. "I think this is him."

The woman stepped back and looked at Fang. She eyed him warily, but some recognition flitted across her pupils. Her mouth dropped a little. "You look just like…" She glanced back at me. "Who are you?" Her gaze fixed back on Fang.

Fang stayed silent, his eyes staring intently at something over the woman's shoulder. His hand was gripping mine tightly. He wasn't going to answer her.

I moved so I was standing next to him again, my arm laced through his. I gave a shy smile to the woman as she continued to stare at Fang in bewilderment. "That's a little hard to explain. Do you think it would be alright if we could come in and talk with you and your husband? If now isn't a good time we could come back…" I trailed off.

The woman's gaze flicked onto my face. "Of course you can. Come in." She moved out of the way as Fang and I stepped through the doorway.

We froze. Our eyes wide. Our jaw's dropped. "Whoa." We both muttered under our breath. This place was even bigger than we first realized. We were currently in the living room. It wasn't fancy as you first would have guessed it to be, but it was fully decked out in the latest stuff.

From the looks of how the house was decorated and how young the woman looked, I would guess Fang's father would be about 30 years old. Which means they would have been around our age when Fang was born.

"Damn…" I heard him mumble by my ear. I smiled. He was probably more stunned than I was. After all it was his parents, and his money.

It was then that the blonde woman started to usher us to the couches. We sat down on the black, leather love seat, our legs touching, our hands intertwined. Mrs. Parker told us she would just be a minute, and then she went off to go get her husband.

That was when I felt Fang's lips pressed against the top of my hair. I squeezed his hand and turned my head so his lips were pressed against mine. I pulled back slightly and looked at him. His faced was free of emotion to the outside world, but I could see his nervousness, his excitement, his tiredness, his pain, his love. I could see it written across his flawless features. I kissed him one more time.

"So what do you think?" I asked him. He shrugged. "You're going to have to give me more than…" I imitated his careless gesture.

The ends of his mouth curved up. "Well, what am I supposed to say? I know just as much as you do."

"But this is your family."

"We don't know that yet, and plus, she said it herself. She didn't lose a son 15 years ago."

"But Fang, he remarried her. So she could be your step-mother."

"Did you see how blonde she was?" I cracked a smile. "You think it's real?"

"Fang, that's mean." But I still couldn't stop the smile that came across my face.

"What? I know you had to be thinking it too. I mean seriously have you seen this place? They are loaded. How are they related to me?"

I was just about to answer him when we heard footsteps coming into the room. We stood quickly and turned around to see Mrs. Parker and a man coming toward us.

I gasped. The man looked exactly like Fang. Same deep, dark eyes, same perfectly messed hair, same lanky but muscular build, same tallness, same skin coloring, same everything. It was like looking 15 years into the future at Fang himself.

The silence seemed to bounce off the walls in the room. Fang's grip on me noticeably tightened. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I was too shocked. I mean, sure, I was expecting a family resemblance, but not a carbon copy. My God, Fang will look mighty fine in 15 years…

A deep voice broke the silence in the room. I realized it to come from, no doubt, Fang's father. He cleared his throat before starting again. "Amazing…" He was staring at Fang in complete and total amazement. "Impossible…" He tried again.

"Improbable." I corrected.

He tore his gaze from his son and looked at me, confusion clear in his expression. "How…where…? Who are you?"

"My name is Max."

"Maxine?" Mrs. Parker asked.

I shook my head, "No. Maximum. Maximum Ride."

"Maximum?" She asked skeptically.

"Ride. Yes. And this, I think, is your son. We, or now I, call him Fang."

The eyes were back on Fang. I could tell he was uncomfortable. I know that feeling of all eyes on you. It feels like you're back at The School with 'special test' written across your forehead. Fang tensed up as the eyes stayed locked on his form.

I rubbed his back soothingly. I could feel his wings tucked in as tight as they could be. They are going to ache later, but then again, Fang probably won't even notice.

I sighed. I shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

It was silent again. What was wrong with me? I wasn't like this with the other flock member's families. I knew what to say, when to say it, how to act. But now, I couldn't think of what I should be doing. Why is this so different?

Because it's Fang.

Fang was always different. He wasn't part of that flock. Whenever I referred to them it was 'the flock and Fang,' Fang as his own category. When I give orders, Fang gets them separately. It's 'you guys stay here, and Fang…come with me.' It's just different with him.

And sometimes, like now, him being different, yeah, it's not a good thing.

I could hear the ticking of the clock in the hallway, it was so dead silent. I wanted to scream it was so nerve-racking. It was just staring and more staring. Fang must be going crazy, he never did like being the center of attention.

I guess Mrs. Parker realized how awkward this was because she turned back into good hostess. She ushered us back onto the love seat, and offered us something to drink, in which we replied some water. As she ran off to pour us our beverage, Mr. Parker came and sat on the couch opposite us. We were silent until Mrs. Parker came back with our drinks and sat with her husband.

I gulped down the water. I cleared my throat before addressing the staring couple across from us. "I know this seems like an episode of The Twilight Zone, but I have to make sure that Fang really is your son before we start explaining everything. Would there be anyway for you to prove this, without a blood test?"

Mr. Parker spoke directly to me as if we were conducting business. He spoke surely and with a decisive tone, and looked directly at me. He had good persuasion skills, like Fang. "I had a son 15 years ago. There were some complications. His mother, Juliet, died giving birth to him at 16. Then I was informed my baby boy didn't make it either. I didn't even get to see him; they rushed him to the ICU before I could. I didn't understand how in the moment that was supposed to be the happiest of my life, everything could turn into the worst day I will ever go through. I lost everything. It was years until I met Katheriane, Kate." He gestured to the blonde woman, Mrs. Parker.

I had to know… "What is your name?"

"Jarrod." He replied.

"And your son?"

"Liam. William Anthony Parker." He replied with a sad smile.

I looked over at Fang. He looked back at me. "Liam." I whispered under my breath. It was weird calling him anything other than Fang, but he could definitely be a Liam. I looked back at Mr. Parker, Jarrod. "You said you didn't see him when he was born?" He shook his head. "Is there anyway that you could ID Fang as your son then?"

"Well the easiest way would be a paternity test; we could head over to the hosp…"

"No!" It was the first word Fang said all night. Everyone turned to look at him in surprise. He sunk back into the couch further, trying to become invisible. It was an old habit he had when too much attention was on him, act as if you're just a part of the room.

I decided to give him a break. "What he means is, in these current…circumstances…that would not be possible."

"Why…?" Kate tried.

"It's complicated." They dropped the subject. I sighed. "Didn't you see him at all?" I asked Jarrod. How could he not even try to see him once?

"I tried. I did, but the doctors told me it was impossible at the time. Then when they informed me he had passed, I thought it might be easier if I never saw him. Of course it wasn't any easier, but I was only 16. What as I supposed to think?"

"So you have no way to identify him?" I asked in disbelief. Just our luck. We find Fang's parents, but we have no way of making sure they really are his parents. Just great. Wait… "Do you happen to have his birth certificate?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

"Don't they do that whole, foot print thing with new born babies?"


"Then can't we just match the prints?"

"That would be difficult."

I was starting to get irritated. "Well do you have any better ideas?" I know I shouldn't have started fighting with Fang's dad already, not exactly the best first impression of the girlfriend. Come to think of it, it's not the best first impression of the son either, and he hasn't even seen the wings yet. I know I shouldn't have been angry, but I was. I mean he was acting as if this wasn't his dead son sitting across from him, and his wife was just too much in shock to be of any help. And to put all this pressure on top of the secrets Fang has and the thought of losing him, it made me want to punch something, repeatedly, and hard.

Fang must have sensed the turn in my thoughts because he jumped in before I could take a swing at something, I'm sure, very valuable. "Did you get a picture or anything? Or were you informed of a certain birthmark?"

The eyes were back. But this time with surprise. "A birthmark?" Jarrod asked. "Yeah. Liam had one on his, um," he glanced at me quickly, "on his right butt cheek." He rushed through.

Shock covered both Fang and my faces. "Fang has a birthmark on his too."

Kate looked over at me through narrowed eyes. "How would you…"

"Please." I interrupted. "Please do not ask how I know that." They didn't. I glanced at Fang. "Um, we would show you, but I don't think looking at your son's ass is the best first memory you could have. And he is a bit old to be flashing a couple of strangers. You know?"

"Yeah, it's just." Jarrod just kept his gaze glued to Fang, taking in every detail, putting it to memory. "You're my son. Oh my God. You are supposed to be dead. How is this…how are you here? What happened…where were you…who are…are you…oh my God," was all he seemed to get out.

"I know we need to talk. And there is a lot to talk about and explain. But do you think it could wait until morning. It has been a long day, and we would really like to get some sleep before we get into this particular topic."

Kate stood up quickly. "Oh! Oh yes. Do you have a place to stay tonight? Or would you like to stay here tonight? It would be no problem." I noticed she was talking to Fang, and not me.

Fang looked up at her and grabbed my hand. "Max stays with me. It's both of us, or none."

The adults share a glance with each other, and Kate nods. Jarrod sighs then states, "Okay. You both can stay."

Kate nods again and continues. "Yes, Liam's room is already made up. And Max, you can have the guest ro-…"

"No." Fang interrupted again. "Max stays with me." He states slowly and forcefully. Fang pulled me nearer to him, I swore if I was any closer, I would be in his lap, which you know; I personally had no problem with but his parents…yeah. "She doesn't leave my sight." He finished.

They gave us skeptical glances, obviously putting things together. Our interaction, Fang's protectiveness, our current position. I sighed. "Let me guess. You don't want your teenage son sleeping with a girl his age?" They nodded guiltily. Were they in for a heart attack. "Well, if you're worried about, for lack of a better way to kindly put this, if you're worried about him 'getting in my pants,' yeah, well, I should tell you, you're a little late for that." I saw Fang smirk out of the corner of my eye as he saw his parents clam up. And Fang, being the stupid macho male he is, saw fit to wrap his arm around my waist at this point in time.

I wanted to knock him upside his head at this point, but he didn't really know any better. I glanced back up at his parents. They seemed to be at a loss for words. They didn't seem to know how to respond to that. Kate seemed like she wanted to start telling us 'the consequences of unprotected sex' like Dr. Martinez did, while Jarrod was torn between being the protective father and breaking us up, and the cool father and giving his son some condoms, not like Fang didn't already think of that, but hey, he didn't know that.

I don't know what he would have ultimately decided to do, and I guess I never will, for at that moment Kate's voice cut through the silence. "Uh, Liam-"

"Fang." He corrected. "Please. My name is Fang."

"Of course. Fang, sorry. But, how old are you exactly?"

"15." Both Fang and me, and Mr. Parker stated together.

"Oh." She said obviously deflated. "So you know that se-"

"Yes. We know." I quickly interrupted. I didn't want to go through that talk again. I do want Fang to touch me tonight. Get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't mean it like that. Although that wouldn't be too bad really. "But," I added. "We also know that it is a big thing. And I can assure you that this is a good thing. We love each other."

"Love?" Kate asked. "How could know what love is so young?"

"Your husband did." I pointed out. "And let's have you live our life, then you can tell us what love is. Believe me, we aren't taking this lightly." I felt Fang's hand move up and down my side to calm me down. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. We can finish this conversation tomorrow. But please, it was such a long flight."

"Oh you flew in?" Jarrod asked.

Fang glanced at me. "I guess you could say that."

"We will get you two settle in Liam, I mean, in Fang's room." Jarrod stood up and motioned for us to follow him. We went up a flight of stairs and down a long hallway to the 3rd door on the right. He led us to this door as he explained, "I always figured you deserved a room in my home, even if you never would get to use it. And I updated it as your age would have grown. It was a way to deal. I'm sure you understand that."

I felt Fang tense up beside me. He grabbed his left arm holding it close to his body. "Why would you say that?" He asked warily.

Jarrod stopped in front of the door and looked at Fang confusedly. "I just meant that we all have ways to deal, as I'm sure you do."

"Oh, yeah." Fang mumbled and wrapped his arm back around my waist.

Jarrod stared at him for a second longer before turning to the door and opening it. "I hope you like it. We can change anything you want."

We stepped in and our eyes widened. "Whoa…" We both breathed out. It was a huge room. The ceiling and carpet were black and the walls were a non-metallic silver. There was a King size bed on one wall with a black comforter and silver sheets. The opposite wall had a giant plasma screen TV. On an adjacent wall were Cd's, floor to ceiling. The left wall had a door at the far end and had foggy glass instead of the hard wall as expected.

"That door goes to your bathroom. And if either of you need anything, anything at all, come get either me or Kate. We are the last door on the left around the corner. Okay?"

All Fang and I could do was nod. But he must have got the message because we heard the door click shut behind us. I looked up at Fang.

He looked down at me. "Holy Shit." He said.

Fang POV

It was late. Max was in the shower at the moment. Every once and a while I would hear her singing voice float through the thick wall. It was beautiful, but I could never tell her that.

I sighed, and took a deep breath. I was exhausted. I haven't been getting much sleep since the nightmares starting filling my mind the moment I closed my eyes. Then, today, was just way too emotionally draining.

I shut my eyes. I wouldn't go to sleep just yet. Not without Max. I couldn't actually sleep without her.

I cleared my mind and thought of nothing but her. That was the only way that I seemed to be able to make it a whole day without needing to use my razor. But I had a feeling that wasn't going to work after a while. Something big was happening to me, and not just finding my birth father. Something is going to change, or I'm supposed to change something. I'm not sure. My dreams are too unclear for me to understand them. All I know is that I haven't forgotten my training as well I would have liked, and that Shadow and Max fit into this somehow. But really, when do they not? So that doesn't really help me.

I put my hands over my face and groaned. Why isn't anything ever straight foreword in our lives? Why is everything always fucked up like it is? Why can't I have one guilt free, totally spontaneous, absolutely perfect happy moment? Why did I have to end up like I am? Am I so cosmically screwed that there is no hope left for me? And what about Max? Is her life meant to be a failure like mine is? What is the great plan for our lives? Every moment it's find food, find shelter, stay alive, love Max, save Max. What happens when I fail to do one of those things? What will we be then?

I shove a pillow over my face and muffle the string of profanities that spill out of my mouth.

I clear my mind again and listen to the water run through the pipes to the shower. I hear the water turn off and a few moments later the door connecting the two rooms opens. I push the pillow off my face and stare at my Max as she enters the room. "Did you see that room?" She tells me, her eyes wide. "It has two sinks, a shower, a tub, a hot tub, and a walk in closet! You are so fucking loaded man."

I made some noise in recognition, but my mind was too fuzzy to make out real words. Max was still in her white towel, her wings over the top of it in the back. Her wet hair was perfectly brushed out. But my eyes went directly to her perfect bare legs. And they were some damn good legs.

I saw Max turn to look at me slowly and she saw where my eyes were glued and she blushed. "Fang." She tried to cover herself up more. I groaned in protest. She blushed more and turned around. I sat up and walked to the bottom of the bed and wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing her back to me, setting her on my lap as I sat back down. "Fang, I'm still wet." She tried to keep some space between us.

I pulled her flush against my chest, and kissed her full lips. "Good," I mumbled against them. I felt her hands entangle themselves in my hair. I kissed her harder, and brought her closer. And, well, lets just say we made good use of that king size bed…


My head was rested on Fang's bare, muscular chest. His father is going to kill us if he finds out what we just did. I mean the first night we are there? We couldn't have waited? But really, I wasn't complaining. No, I wasn't complaining one bit.

I was rubbing circles across his chest, and he was absentmindedly brushing my bare arm. I kissed his chest and looked at his face. His eyes were closed but a smile played at his lips. I'm glad I could at least do that much for him.

My glance moved over to his left arm again. There were new scars I noticed. I closed my eyes. What was I supposed to do? If I can't help save him, who can? If I don't even know what will help, how can I save him from jumping off the edge? What happens when it gets to be way too much? Can I deal with Fang being fucked up for the rest of his life? And how long will that be? How long can one person continue to exist under his circumstances? What does his future consist of? Am I even a part of it? What are we supposed to do?

I felt something wet run down my cheek. I guess Fang noticed this too because I felt him move under me. He moved so he was face to face with me. I opened my eyes and looked at his worried face. His scrutinizing gaze. My face was between his palms. "Max…" His voice was soft and calming. "Max, what's wrong?"

I give him a shy smile. "Nothing." I tell him.

"No, not nothing. When someone cries it is definitely something. What's wrong? You can tell me you know."

"I know I can. It just…there's a lot to think about right now, and not all of it is good. You should understand that. It's just a lot to take in in such a short amount of time."

"Does this have anything to do with what we just did?"

I looked at him for a second, what was he getting at? "What?"

"I mean we didn't have to Max. If you said no, I would have stopped."

Oh that's what he was getting at. I kissed him to shut him up. "You're an idiot Fang." I told him.

"Well, what was I supposed to think? I mean seriously. You really shouldn't start crying after you sleep with someone; it's a real blow to their ego."

I laughed to myself. "I'm sorry." I whispered to him. "But I was just thinking, and it all just kind of caught up to me. I mean what is going to happen with us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Fang, we found your father. We are currently lying in your bed. You have a home now. You finally have the chance to be normal. Now how do I fit in here?"

"Okay first of all, never discount yourself in my life. I'm not letting you go. Didn't you hear me downstairs? It's either both of us together, or I'm leaving with you. I love you. Don't ever doubt that, got it?" I nodded. "Now, we just got here. They don't even know about the whole wing thing yet, so let's not start the 'what ifs' until we know they are at least okay with that. And I am a mutant freak, I will never be normal. And let's not add the whole fact that I have major issues that have nothing to do with the fact that in part avian. I don't think my father was expecting me if I ever came home. I'm screwed up, and what person would want someone like me?"

"I do."

"Well, you have to. You are hopelessly in love with me."

I smiled. "Oh yeah, and you had nothing to do with that." I replied rolling my eyes.

He kissed my forehead before he sighed. "Plus, I'm not too sure this is a good thing."

"What isn't?"

"Finding my father."

"What? How could this not?"

"Was it just me, or did they forget something very important?"


"Why didn't they even mention Shadow? Wouldn't they wonder if the same thing happened to her? It was just like she didn't exist."

"Maybe they didn't want to bring up another painful memory. I mean they just found out you are still alive."

"But Shadow was my half sister apparently. Wouldn't the mother want to know about her daughter more than her husband's son? I don't know but something isn't sitting well with this. I mean they are already lying to me. How can this turn out good?"

Fang POV

I was standing on the edge of a steep cliff. The sun setting behind me, darkness taking over the sky.

I stepped closer to the edge and looked down the side of the drop. One more step and I could be free, falling to the most permanent end, death.

My foot hovered over the air. I could walk right off.

I closed my eyes, preparing to end my pain.

"Fang!" I heard behind me. My eyes shot open and I turned to look behind me. "Fang!" I heard again. "Fang help!" I could hear her calling from just behind the first line of trees. Max was hurt.

I ran toward her voice. Blood pounded in my ears. How could I think of leaving Max alone like that? Was I really that selfish?

I ran into the cover off the trees, darkness surrounding me, suffocating me.

I couldn't hear her anymore. "MAX!" I yelled, running as fast as I could, dodging trees as I went. "Max, where are you?" I was starting to panic. "Max!"

"You can't save her like that." I heard behind me.

I spun quickly to the sound of Shadow's voice. I stepped to her quickly. "Where is she? What did you do? Why are you doing this?" I practically screamed at her.

"Me? I'm not doing this."

"Then who is?"

She just smiled up at me.

"Why won't you tell me so I can stop it?!"

"It's too late. It's going to happen. You can't save her like that."

"Why? What's going on? Damn it! Why can't I get one straight answer around here? I have to save her!"

"How can you save her? You're broken."

I stared at her. It's not my fault I'm like this. She should know that. "I can't fix that!" I growled at her.

She smiled at me. "But what makes you so hurt?"

"You died."

"That's not why you are in pain."

"I killed you."

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure!? Of course I'm sure! I was there. It's burned in my brain."

"Then you remember wrong."

"How can I remember wrong? It was the worst day of my life, I killed you…"

"And if you don't understand, you'll kill her too."

I didn't understand. I can't understand. "What am I supposed to fucking do? I can't change the past!"

"Who says? I'm here to help you. Just take my hand, and I'll show you the world." She held her hand out to me.

I stared at it blankly. "What are you doing?"

"Saving you." She grasped my hand. "Don't let go, you'll fall."

Then it was pitch black. I couldn't see anything, except the bright light a few feet in front of us. Shadow pulled me along toward it. Dread filled me. The closer we got, the more I wanted to stop. I looked down at our hands.

My heart raced, blood covered her skin. In the next moment I quickly pulled my hand out of hers and I started to fall, long and hard.

I woke with a start. Sweat poured down my forehead. I was gasping for air, filling my lungs. My heart was racing. The darkness started to fade.

I felt the bed and sheets, Max pressed up against my side. I let out a deep breath. Just another dream.

I looked over at Max. So beautiful. I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers for a moment before slowly untangling myself from her. I slipped out of bed and threw on my boxers, and silently made my way to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me, and moved in front of the mirror.

I glanced up at the mirror. I didn't recognize myself. I haven't seen my reflection in quite some time. I looked older, no surprise there. But I could see the many scars that covered my pale skin. My eyes looked tired. My face was exhausted. I was a dead man walking.

I sighed and turned on the water. I froze.

My heart started pounding again. My hand was covered in a deep crimson. The same hand that was holding Shadow's in my dream.

I quickly put it under the running facet and washed the blood off. How does this keep happing? How can my dreams be this real?

What was I supposed to do?

What if I can't save her?

What if it's all for nothing?

I looked back up at my reflection. What was going on with me?

The names: Fang- William 'Liam' Anthony Parker. Fang's dad- Jarrod Parker, Fang's step mom- Katheriane 'Kate' Parker. Fang's birth mom- Juliet Parker. yeah I know 'Juliet?' lol. I have had the song 'juliet' from LMNT stuck in my head for the past 3 days. (Thank you Alex!)

Next Chapter: The 'rent's reaction to the wings. Another dream, Fang's problem...

Okay review please!

13. Is it wrong?

Story: This chapter may be confusing. But its all important. And has major foreshadowing, if you're good at figuring things out that way.

Got nothing else to say right now. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't Claim.


The next morning I woke up as the sun shone through the window onto our bed. I groaned slightly and pushed the covers over my head trying to block out the light. Even though I got more sleep than I normally did, after yesterday's…and last night's…events, it just wasn't enough.

After trying to fall asleep, unsuccessfully might I had, for about ten minutes I noticed the space next to me was not filled.

I frowned. Where was that boy? I pulled the covers away from my face and let my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. Once I did I glanced over to Fang's side of the bed, which I was partially taking up already. There was nothing there but the crumpled sheets.

I frowned more. Fang hasn't let me wake up alone since our first time back at the cave, but he only left then because he needed a release.

Oh God. Don't tell me he needed one this morning? Did I miss something important while I was asleep? Did his parents do something? Did they say something that would upset him? God, we just met them! What were they thinking? What could they have done to set him off already?

Did they know? Did they know about the wings? His habit? Oh God. Did they know what we did last night and said something to him? We weren't loud were we?

Blood rushed to my cheeks.

I jumped as the door connecting the bedroom and the bathroom opened with a start. I held the comforter on the bed against my bare skin as I looked over at Fang walking through the doorway.

He had boxers and pants on as he used the towel to dry his wet hair. He was just in the shower I realized. How did I not notice the water running?

His eyes flicked over to me as I sat up in the bed, keeping myself covered with the sheets. He smiled shyly as he saw me staring at his bare chest. My smile grew across my face. "Hi there" I said to him.

He draped the towel over the back of a chair in the corner of the room. He came and sat on the edge of the bed, giving me a kiss in the process. "Hi back." He whispered as he pulled back, keeping his one hand on my waist.

I lightly bit my bottom lip as I tried to keep the silly after-glow grin off my face. I could still taste him on my lips. I reached up and brushed his still damp hair out of his eyes. I sighed as I saw it written clearly across them. "Another dream?" I asked.

He nodded. A frown forming on his face mirroring mine. "Yeah," he whispered. "Another dream."

I sighed again and dropped my hand from his face. "You want to tell me about it?"

"Not really," he replied.

"Are you going to tell me about it?" I asked knowing that would be his answer. He stayed silent. "Fang?" I asked warily. "Fang you are going to tell me aren't you?"

He glanced down for a moment then looked back up at me guiltily. "I wasn't planning on it."

My face dropped. He was doing it…again. "Fang…" I saw some emotion, not anger, but something along those lines, come across his expression. "Fang what's…"

I felt him roughly pull back from me. "God Max!" His voice came out harsher than I thought he would use with me. "What do you want from me?" I felt tears burn my eyes. "I'm not psychic you know! I don't know what the fuck is going on. I don't need you breathing down my neck every time something happens to me. I'm a cutter, sure. But I'm not mentally handicapped. I'm not stupid you know! I feel guilty enough as it is, and even worse now that I can't figure out what's going on with me. I don't need you adding to it!"

The tears were freely falling down my cheeks as I watched Fang pace across the room in an angry heap. He stopped his back to me.

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to tell him what an asshole he was. I wanted to tell him to go to Hell. But I couldn't do it. Even after all that, I loved him. And he said he loved me. More tears flowed down my cheeks.

After a few minutes of silence, I saw Fang's shoulder's slump. He slowly turned to look at me with a pained expression. "Oh God." I heard him mumble under his breath.

He slowly made his way over to me, just waiting for me to tell him to leave and never come back. He was looking at me intently as he sat back on the bed and hesitantly reached out to me. "Max…?" He whispered.

I flinched slightly as he touched my still bare arm. As much as I didn't want him near me at the moment, I couldn't tell him to stop. "Max?" His voice sounded like it wanted to break. "Oh God. Max please look at me." it was then I realized I had been staring at the black comforter the entire time.

I felt Fang take my face between his palms and bring it up to look at his. His pained face worsened as he saw the salty streaks the tears left down my skin. "Oh Max. I am so, so sorry. You have no idea how much. God. I am such an ass. Look at this. I have this perfect woman, the woman I love, naked in our bed after a night of making love, and I treat her like she means nothing to me. God I'm such a jerk, an ass. Oh I'm so unbelievably sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

His eyes were begging me; trying to get me to understand. And I wanted to, really I did. I wanted to understand so much more than I did. Nothing made sense anymore. Not that it ever really did, but I was used to not understanding that stuff. But these new Fang issues, these new Fang problems, I didn't understand at all. And apparently either did he.

God! I was so sick of all this. What the fuck was going on? Why is this happening to us? To me? To him? He has enough shit to deal with as it is! God. What the fuck do they want from us?

I feel Fang's hands start to shake slightly. I wasn't sure if even he knew it. I glanced back into his eyes. They were filled with so much pain. More so than usual. It hurt knowing he did that to himself. It was bad enough to know he inflicted physical pain onto himself. I didn't need to know he did it emotionally too.

I could feel his emotion radiate off his skin onto mine. I could feel everything he was feeling at that moment. His pain mixed with mine. His loved washed over me. His regret brought more tears to my eyes.

I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to hate him. He has caused me so much pain. I didn't deserve this. I didn't want this.

But I love him.

He warned me. He told me it would be like this. He told me that he did in fact love me the way I loved him. He told me he wanted what was best for me. He told me he wasn't the best for me.

I didn't listen.

I didn't want to listen. I still don't want to listen.

So I ignored him.

And in doing that, I said I didn't care that he would cause me pain. I didn't care that it would be hard. I didn't care that I will never have that perfect life with the white picket fence, the dog, and the two point five kids. I didn't care that he was bad for me. I didn't care what he did to me, as long as he was with me. As long as he loved me, I just didn't care what happened to us.

He warned me this would be hard. It wasn't going to be easy for him. He is trying. I know he is. He's been doing so well. He slips now and then, but for the most part, he has done better than can be expected.

I told him that I didn't want anything he couldn't give me. I told him all I wanted was him, his heart. Was I wrong in thinking I could ever have all of that?

I felt Fang's thumbs move across my cheek bone, wiping away my tears. God he felt so good, so warm, so…Fang.

I opened my eyes again to look into his. He was staring back nervously. Why was he so nervous? This wasn't his fault…

Oh. Right. He still thinks I hate him. But I don't. I could never.

I love him.

And he loves me. No matter what he does, what he says, how he acts, I know that one thing is true. Fang loves me.

I move my hands to his face and pull it towards me. I kiss him lightly and pull back just enough for him to hear me speak. "It's not your fault Fang. You said it would be like this. I'm sorry for forgetting that. I love you. I just want to help."

I feel him kiss me again then sit back on the bed, wrapping me back in his arms. I feel him sigh behind me. "You really want to understand don't you?"


"I do too."


137, 138, 139, 140…

It was around noon now. Fang and I have been up for awhile, same as his parents.

After Fang and I talked, and kissed, and took a shower…together…we went downstairs for breakfast. Fang cooked our food knowing his parents wouldn't understand the sheer amount of it we need to consume, and he knew I couldn't cook for crap.

It was great. Next to Iggy, Fang was the best cook. I guess that would make sense him being the next oldest, you know since I certainly am not going to make him eat the poison I would be serving if I cooked it.

His parents stared at us in shock as we finished off every last bit of food. His father looked astounded. His step mother looked, well, she looked like she was expecting half of it to come back up at any moment.

203, 204, 205, 206…

His parents left us alone most of the morning; allowing us to see this huge house. It was wicked sweet might I add.

Then around noon, they wanted us to start talking.

Now, lucky for us, Fang and I have already talked about this moment this morning. We decided it was better if Fang told them himself. Well actually, I decided it was better. I made Fang agree. I thought it would be better if he explained. He could tell them as much as he wanted, or as much as he thought they could handle at that moment.

298, 299, 300, 301…

So I'm pacing across the kitchen, waiting for Fang to come back in. I kept anxiously peeking through the French doors that lead out to the patio where Fang and his parents were currently talking. Fang looked as calm as ever.

Did he really not care about this as much as I did? How is that even possible? Is he so sure of himself? Is he so sure he doesn't need them? That I'm enough?

Stupid, idiotic boy.

351, 352, 353, 354…

I look through the glass and freeze. Looks like Fang dropped the bomb. They are a couple feet farther away from him than they were a few minutes ago. And Fang is still sitting calmly in his chair, feet spread out across the table, arms crossed over his chest.

His eyes glance at me through the doors. He gives a slight nod. I sigh in relief.

A nod means it's okay, give it a second. A shake means get the hell out now.

He turns his gaze back to the adults and I go back to filling my time.

465, 466, 467, 468…

God I have to stop obsessing. I have already counted the tiles in the floor; 578.5, the knobs on the cabinets; 23, the cracks in the ceiling; 6, and I've been counting how many times I have paced across the room in waiting; 487.

488, 489, 490…

I stop pacing and walk over to the sink. I fill a glass cup with water and gulp it down.

I have to stop myself from screaming as a pair of arms suddenly wrap themselves around my waist. I quickly swallow the water in my mouth and put the cup on the counter.

I feel something wet and soft against the back of my neck. I sigh and lean back as Fang continues to kiss up to my hairline. I turn in his arms as I feel him pull his face away from my bare skin. I wrap my arms around his neck as I search his face.

I see nothing.

"So?" I impatiently ask him.

"So what?" He smirks.

I glare. "Fang! What happened?"

His smirk fades and he shrugs. "Oh they're not talking to me."

I frown. "What? Why? What happened? I thought they would be okay with it."

"Oh. They were fine with the wings. My bloody habit however, not so much." He raised one shoulder in a half shrug, trying to indicate it not being a big deal.

It was.

"Wait. You told them about that?" I asked him in disbelief.

"Yeah." It more like a 'yeah why?' then a 'yeah I did.'

"What? You go out there to tell them you're not 100 percent human and you figure now is a good time to tell them you're a cutter!?" You stupid, stupid bird boy!

He looks at me like I'm crazy. "Yeah." That was more of a 'Yeah I did.' "All at once. It's like a band-aid."

I stare at him in confusion. "What? Fang, this is nothing like a band-aid."

The corners of his mouth go down as he thinks for moment. "Just a little." He smiles at me.

I stare up at him in amazement. How can he be so nonchalant about all of this? Does he really not care what happens to him? Is he really that far gone?

"So what is the plan? You here for good? Or do we make a run for it?"

He frowned and looked away from me for a moment. "I don't know." I could barely hear him. I don't know if he was talking to me, or himself. He turned back to me and forced a smile to his face. "I do know that whatever we decide to do, you will be okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I looked at him questionably.

"I don't know. I do know I'm going to keep you safe. I have to." He spoke with a promise to his voice. What did he know that I didn't?

Fang POV

Max and I were getting ready for bed. I stripped down into my boxers and she pulled on a pair of my clean boxers and one of my clean black baggy shirts.

A knot formed in my chest as I saw her walking toward me. She was so perfect. I couldn't let my dreams come true. I loved her too much.

But how was I supposed to know what was going to happen? All I know is that it will happen. What it is, when, why? I just don't know.

And what about Shadow? How is she in all of this? She's dead, how can she still be haunting me? How can this be worse?

Something else was gnawing at me. My parents.

I told them about the wings. I told them the short version of the school, minus the tests and dog boys. I told them about the flock and Max.

But they haven't said one word of Shadow. They didn't even acknowledge her existence.

Millions of possibilities keep running through my head. Was I wrong? Was she not my sister? Did they just not want to tell me I had a sister? Did they not want to ruin this happy moment with talk of another missing child? Did they already know? Are they with the school? Do they know everything? Will we be captured? Am I just being paranoid?

I feel Max climb into bed next to me and wrap a leg over one of mine; using my chest as a pillow, a hand next to her head. I pull her closer until I can feel every inch of her against my side.

I kiss the top of her head over her hair. She kisses my chest in return. I smile slightly. She has to be okay. "I love you." I whisper. She was already half asleep, I felt her mumble something against me. I smiled more. "Go to sleep Max. You'll be okay." 'You have to be' I silently add.

I close my eyes as I feel her steady breaths hit the skin on my chest.

Be okay Max.

Later Fang POV STILL

I've been here before.

I'm standing in the dark forest again. In a few moments I would hear Max cry out in pain. I would run to her only to be too late. Blood would cover her. My knife would be stuck in her back. Shadow would be standing there taunting me. She would be trying to get me to come with her. I would let go.

But this time, I won't let go. I need some answers. I have to understand. I have to save her.

Then maybe I can finally move on from all of this.

This time when I heard my Max scream I stayed where I was. I didn't need to see her mangled body.

I felt someone's eyes on the back of my head. "I need to save her." I told Shadow without turning around.

"Then why are you standing here?" She asked me.

I turned to face her. "Because I don't know how to save her. But you do. And you are going to tell me this time."

She shook her head with a small frown. "I can't tell you how to do this."

"Then why is this happening?" I growled at her.

She smiled. "You need to understand."

"But I can't." I took a step toward her small four year old body.

"Not if you let go." She holds her hand out to me. "Come on. You are running out of time. If you don't save yourself first, how do you expect to save her?"

"I won't let anything get her."

"You don't have a choice! Don't you get it? It is going to happen. The only thing you can change is how it ends up. Can you save her? Will you save yourself?"

I swallow hard. I don't want this. I can't handle this. I need this to stop. I need this to be over.

"It's just beginning. You can't change that." I look at her slightly surprised, but then I remember I'm having a conversation with my dead sister.

I sigh and place my hand in her outstretched one. "I'm ready." I tell her. I will do this. I will save her.

Shadow nods at me and the all too familiar darkness over comes me. I feel a tug on my arm and we continue toward the one light in the darkness.

I ignore everything; the knot in my stomach; the dread that fills me; the crimson leaking over my hand. All of it.

And then the light washes over us.

Shadow and I walk into a kitchen. A clean kitchen of a little house. A boy that looked about 7 years old was sitting at a table in the corner and eating a bowl of cereal.

I look down at Shadow in confusion. What is this? Did he not see us?

She smiled up at me and let go of my hand. "They can't see us when we are here. We can't interfere. We are just here to observe; to get information; to understand."

I nod and look back over at the boy. There was something about him…

He had brown hair and brown eyes. He looked a bit tall for his age. He got up and started toward the sink with his now empty bowl. Then I saw it.

He had wings.

Black wings.

Then something even weirder happened. I came into the room.

Well, not me, but me. I was older. I looked to be in my late twenties or early thirties.

My jaw dropped. What the fuck?

I turned to Shadow. She smiled up at me. "We are about 15 years into your future. Well the future you should have. The one that you can make sure you get."

I turn my attention back to the scene in front of me.

"Dad!" I hear the boy yell and run into the other me's arms. Dad? What?

"Hey." He grunts as he picks the boy up and swings him around a couple of times. The boy giggles.

My breath catches in my throat. Max comes into the kitchen and the other me stops spinning the boy.

He smiles at her and she kisses him then leans in and kisses the boy. "Mom!" he yells and tries to jump in her arms.

He holds him back. "Whoa. You're too big for mommy to hold you right now."

I see Max roll her eyes at the other me. "Jeeze Fang. I'm pregnant not dieing."

I smile at her. Pregnant. She's pregnant. "Unlike the first time huh?" The other me mumbles under his breath while sitting the boy back at the table.

I see Max look around the room searching for something then turning to the boy at the table. "Hunny. Where is your sister?"

I see the boy smile. "In your belly! Duh."

The other me cracks a smile. "Yeah duh Max." He says.

She hits his arm slightly and he fakes hurt. She rolls her eyes again. "I meant your other sister. You know, tall, brown hair, is fully formed and walks around the house."

The other boy looks down at the table. "She's uh…She's…"

The other me frowns. "Anthony where is she?" the boy stays silent. "Do you want me to take you flying?" The boy looks up at him; eyes pleading. "Then tell us where she is."

"In 1918." What? How can she be in 1918? I thought this was the future…

I see Max look at the other me and frown. "Didn't we already have this talk with her?"

He nods then sighs. "She has too much of you in her to listen."

"Me? Please. That's all you baby."

The boy at the table pips up. "Am I in trouble?"

Max looks at him. "No hunny. But you have to tell us these things from now on okay?"

He nods.

"Why is she there?" the other me asks.

"She wanted to see if Edward Cullen was real."

The other me sighs. "From that book she is always reading?"

Max looks at him and smiles. "Hey you should be happy about this. At least she's in love with a fictional character. You don't have to worry about real boys coming after her now."

"What boys?" He asks angrily. "Who do I have to beat up?"

"No one. But you do know what we were doing at her age."

I saw myself grin at her. "How could I not?"

I feel a tug on my arm and look down at Shadow. "Is this real?" I ask her. Could this really happen? Could I be a father? Could I be almost normal and happy? Could I be married to Max?

"It could be. But so could this."

The kitchen fades and then we are standing out in the rain on a grassy hill; trees surrounding us. Thunder boomed and lightning streaked across the sky.

I turned to Shadow. "Where are we?" I yell over the pouring rain.

"Death." She replies pointing farther down the hill.

I drop her hand and walk down the slippery slope.

I stop dead in my tracks.


I see myself lying in the wet grass and mud next to a makeshift grave. I wasn't much older than I am now.

I walk closer and look at the headstone which was just a rock with the words 'Maximum Ride : Lover, Mother, Life' were carved into it.

I sunk to my knees. This was what I was trying to prevent. How could this have happened? How did I fucking let this happen??

"No!" I yell. "God No!" I run over to the me lying on the ground.

He had his arm thrown over the grave as if she was lying in his arms with him. I saw tears mix with the rain as he lay there.

I go over to him. "How could you let this happen?" I scream at him. "What the fuck happened that you lived and she died? How could you!" I go to kick him as he lay there but my foot went right through him.

I tried again. Same reaction.

I feel something pull me back. I turn around to Shadow. "That won't do anything." She told me.

"It has to! How could this happen? This is what I'm here to stop! No!" I push her back as she tries to take my hand. I go over to the grave and sit down.

"You have to come."

"I have to stay with Max. I can't just leave her."

"You are with her." She gestures to the other me lying on the ground. "You never left her. And soon you will join her. But if you come with me now, this could all just be a bad dream." She holds out her hand to me again.

I stand back up and move away from her. "One second." I whisper. I walk over the headstone again and kneel down. "I'm so sorry Max. I will save you Max. This is not going to be your fate. You are going to live and I'm going to be with you. I will not let this happen to you. If it is the last thing I do, you will live a full and happy life."

I turn and take Shadows hand again. "Let's go." I tell her.

The rain stops as a light blinds me momentarily. I blink a couple times letting my eyes adjust.

My heart stops.


God no.

We were at The School.

I turn to Shadow fast and choke. She was covered in blood. Her eyes were filled with hunting death. "What's going on? Why are we here?"

She turned her dead eyes onto me. "Do you not remember my death?"

"Of course I remember!"

"Like I said before. You remember wrong."

"I don't remember wrong." I growled at her. "I could never forget that."

"But you missed something important. You don't remember right." She turns around a corner.

I follow; my footsteps heavier with each step.

I turned the corner just in time to see my 8 year old self pass out in Shadow's and the Eraser's blood. I almost puked from the sight.

I saw Jeb walk into the room and over to the whitecoat from my memories. He started talking and I could hear every last word.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this John."

"Don't you think I know that Jeb? But look what he did." He gestured to the Eraser I had killed.

"Fang did that?"


"The training worked. Does he have any idea what this means for him?"

"As far as he knows, he just killed the man that murdered his sister."

"We have to stop this meeting John."

"We have 7 years Jeb."

I woke, my breathing was hard, sweat dripped down my neck, my heart was pounding.

What the FUCK was that?

That was what she had to show me?

That was what she had to torment me with?

I remembered the grave and quickly looked down at Max next to me. I pushed the hair out of her face. I pulled her closer to me and kissed the top of her head.

That won't happen to her. I won't let it. I will save her.

I have to save her.

I felt like I had a weight on my chest, suffocating me. I could barely breathe. I wanted this to go away!

I made sure Max was safe one last time before slipping out of bed and threw on some pants. I closed the bedroom door silently behind me. I needed to think.

No. I needed to stop thinking.


I woke to an empty bed again. It was still dark out. By the position the moon was in I would guess it was around midnight.

I sat up in bed and looked around me for any sign of Fang. There wasn't one.

I searched the darkness of the bathroom and found nothing.

I started to panic. Where was he? What was he doing?

I froze.

Oh dear God. Not now.

I ran over to his backpack and dumped the contents out of the bag.

It wasn't there.

I threw the door open and ran down the steps. I searched each room I passed.


I quickly walked into the kitchen and my fear was confirmed.

It was eerily creepy the way the full moon shown through the French doors and silhouetted Fang's sitting form. He was in the middle of the kitchen floor his back to the doors. His head was bent over and I could see him shaking. The glint of metal in his hand caught my eye as it hovered over his arm.

I ran over to him. I grab the wrist of the hand that held the knife. He didn't look up at me. I moved his hand away from any skin and made him drop the knife. He did without protest.

I knelt in front of him and grabbed his face between my hands, pulling it up so I could see his eyes.

They were deep, dark pools of…nothing.

There was nothing there. It wasn't the usual nothing. It wasn't the nothing we saw when he was hiding his emotions. This was just nothing. It was a dead nothing.

I pulled him to me. I wrapped him in my arms like he has done for me so many times before. I kissed his head. I cried.

"Fang. What happened?" I whispered.

I didn't expect an answer.

"I didn't make it in time." He whispered. "I killed you too."

Those were the last words spoken that night. We fell asleep on the kitchen floor, holding on to one another for dear life, like if we let go ever the slightest, the other would be gone.

We weren't expecting what the next morning would bring us.

Next Chapter : A showdown. Answers. Death. Surprise!

Review please!!

14. The Kill Prt 1

Shout out's...

Thicker Than Water: I read the books! and you were soo right they rocked! Damon is so hott. i don't know if you got my Pm.

Broken Hearted Poet: Thank you for your Pm. I really liked the poem you wrote. I totally gave me inspiration! Thank you!

Story: This is only half of the actual chapter that I wrote. it's that long and important. But i only wrote this much so far and i felt really bad for making you wait so i am posting it. Most of it might not make sense. But it will next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't Claim!


"Holy Crap!"

I woke with a start the next morning. I felt Fang tense under me as well, guess he heard it too. I groaned as the bright morning light seeped through my lids as I opened my eyes.

I stared up at Kate's horrified expression.

My cheeks turned a nice shade of red as I realized what she walked in on.

Fang and me, half dressed, asleep on her kitchen floor, tangled up together. Oh God. She probably thought we…in the kitchen.

I quickly sat up and felt Fang do the same next to me. He still kept his one arm wrapped around my waist tightly, possessively.

Jarrod walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw his wife's shocked face. He followed her gaze to us and a similar expression adorned his features.

"Um, it's not what it looks like?" I offered lamely. They continued to gawk at us.

I ignored their stares as I took a glance at Fang's face. My breath caught in my throat.

So many emotions spread across his face. One turned into the next quicker than I could comprehend. That's when I felt his tight hold on me. He was trying to restrain himself, I realized.

What the fuck? What is going on?

I still don't know what set him off like that last night. I don't understand why he is trying to hold himself back right now. I don't understand him! What does he know that I don't? What is he keeping from me? Why is he keeping it from me?

I stared at him as Fang's face went from confused, to placid, to expectancy, to anger, then he was just plain pissed off.

"Fang…?" I softly asked him. I was worried. What did he know that I didn't? What was going on? "Fang. What…" I was interrupted by a low growl emitting from Fang's chest.


I quickly stood and dragged Fang up with me. He wouldn't take his eyes off his parents. And those eyes were a cold, deadly black, getting darker by the second.

I needed to get him away now, before he cracks.

"Come on Fang." I started to pull him to the hallway, but he wouldn't budge. "Fang. Come on." I tried again. He wouldn't move.

I stole a quick glance at the adults in the room and Kate was frozen in fear of him.

But Jarrod was strangely calm. He just stared right back at Fang, almost egging him on. "Liam. Stop." My eyes snapped shut. Oh, no. Jarrod what have you done?

As soon as those words were out of his mouth, I knew, he just messed up everything. This was going to end with some bloodshed.

I heard a real growl erupt from Fang as he took a step toward his father. I kept a hand on is arm restraining him. "It's Fang." He spit out.

I heard Jarrod sigh in frustration. My eyes flashed to him. He wouldn't really be stupid enough to continue this would he? "Liam." I guess he would. "Enough of this. I know you had a bad past. You told us. I get it really. But enough of this Fang stuff. Your name is Liam, I am your father, and you will do as I say got that?" He didn't even give Fang a chance to respond. "Good. Now I know you have lived your whole life doing things the way you want to, but things are different now. You will listen and obey orders. You and Max are not to be together you understand? She has to leave. I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to make the same mistake I did your age. There will always be another girl son, but you only have one set of parents. You will listen to me. You will treat me with respect."

"Like Hell I will." Fang yelled as he advanced on the man. The longer Jarrod talked, the more steamed Fang got. There was no way in hell anyone could stop him now. I couldn't restrain him, as Fang jerked out of my hold. He stepped closer to him. "Fuck you! Fuck you and your damn house. Fuck you and your perfect life. Fuck you and your trophy wife, because you know that's all she is. Fuck you! I don't fucking need you, Jarrod." He spit out the man's name, just to spite him by not calling him Dad. "I'm no one's slave, you hear me? I don't take orders from anyone, least of all you. I don't care who the fuck you are. Nothing will keep me from Max. You don't like her? You won't let her stay? Then fine. We'll fucking leave. Have a nice life. It's not like you actually care about your kids or anything. I mean I am supposed to be dead for God's sake! You find out I'm alive, and what do you do? Nothing! And why didn't you ask about your other kid? Don't you wonder if the same thing happened to her?" Silence. "Well do you!?"

Fang was one second away from swinging punches and making graves. And the only thing I could fully comprehend was that his parents had no idea what he was talking about.

"I don't understand." Kate's small wary voice broke through the silence.

Fang leaned back in surprise. I guess he wasn't expecting denial. "Do you think I'm stupid? Or is this just some kind of bad joke? I mean it's one thing when you didn't think I knew, but denying it now? What the fuck is wrong with you? I know I have a sister! I know about your daughter. I know you lost another kid! Why the fuck are you denying it? Why didn't you fucking ask me about her?"

His parents stared at him with an expression I just couldn't place. It was a cross between confusion and…pity. Fang's hands clenched and unclenched as he glanced back and forth between the pair. "Liam…" Fang's cold glance landed on his father. His eyes so intent it was a wonder how Jarrod didn't just turn to ice under his gaze. "I mean Fang, sorry. But, uh, you don't have a sister."

Those words seemed to echo around the room. Repeating themselves over and over again. Fang's eyes blazed, and not the way I was used to. He was going to hurt someone. "Why are you lying to me?" He yelled at them. His voice held a bit of desperation that only I could pick up. But to everyone else he would sound deadly. "Don't you get it? I know I did! I saw her. I killed for her! I saw her fucking die! How can you do this to me now! What is wrong with you people? I know you had another kid!"

"No Fang!" Jarrod stepped toward a raging Fang. "Listen to me! I don't know who told you otherwise, but you don't have a sister. I don't know who that girl was and I'm sorry, but she wasn't who you thought she was."

I watched as Fang stumbled back in desperation. His breathing was heavy and erratic. His expression held so much pain. He was torn between believing them and believing himself. He couldn't comprehend any of this. I couldn't comprehend any of this. "That's not possible," he whispered. I could see him repeating it to himself.

He looked so young at this moment. So vulnerable. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms and tell him everything was okay. That I was here for him. I mean everything he knew, everything he lived for, everything he was, could all have been a lie.

I saw his eyes flash across the kitchen. I followed his gaze as they locked on the knife lying on the floor from last night.

Oh God.

As I was just about to stop him from running over and cutting into his skin, we heard a sound come from the other room.

The sound of glass breaking.

Fang and I quickly glanced at each other, one thing clear in our eyes.



Now was the perfect time for this. How did they even fucking find us? We aren't even in the same country as The School! I looked down at my arm. That damn chip. Now did he understand why I wanted it out so badly?

I noticed the scar from my own cutting experience. Fang's cut up arms flashed behind my eyes. All of that. Everything he lived for, everything he tried to die for, just everything was so fucked up. Shadow was his sister, but his parents said he didn't have a sister. Either they were with the school and everything would make sense, which would just be too easy, or the school messed around with Fang's mental state way more than we thought, most likely in this case.

I snapped out of my daze as I looked up to see Fang moving toward the living room next to the kitchen, where the sound originated from.

"Don't do anything stupid. Do as I say. Keep out of they way. And whatever you hear, don't get involved in this." Fang barked orders at his parents as he continued into the next room pulling me with him.

We silently made our way around the corner and peeked into the room.

There was no one in there. Just the broken glass of the window. We stepped in slightly confused. We made it to the middle of the room until I felt Fang tense next to me. "Max…" He froze. Then went to grab my arm and pull me out of the room. "Shit. Max we have to…"


I froze as I felt the gun barrel on the back of my head.

"Not so fast birdy." I heard the Eraser's voice from behind me. "We can't just let you escape now can we?"

Fang turned to me quicker than I could see. His eyes were a deadly black. I'm sure he was seeing red. He was just about to make his attack on the Eraser holding the gun when I saw them. "Fang!" I screamed, eyes wide as Erasers filled the room, half of them moving straight for him.

He turned just in time to plant a few good punches in. Okay, maybe more than a few.

I never really got the chance to just sit back and watch Fang fight. I was usually preoccupied, not that I wasn't right now but there really wasn't anything I could do at the moment, I could still feel the cold steel against my skin. Fang punched and kicked and bit and scratched. He was deadly to anyone in his way. He must have taken down a good ten erasers before four managed to restrain him.

He was still struggling by the time we heard it, heard him. "Now, now, now. Fangy boy. I wouldn't keep doing that if I were you." Ari's menacing voice ripped through the chaos. The erasers moved to the side of the room as they let the two people I never wanted to see again enter the room, along with two extremely freaked out, captured parents. Ari and Jeb calmly walked into the open circle and went up to Fang. "You wouldn't want something unfortunate to happen to your dearly beloved mother and father now would you?" Ari moved a step closer to Fang, who was no longer struggling against his captors. Only two erasers were needed to hold him back now. Fang growled as Ari came closer. "Or how about your loving girlfriend? You wouldn't want anything to happen to her now would you?"

Fang struggled against his erasers once more, trying to get to Ari. He just laughed at his attempts. "You fucking Bastards! You touch her and I'll…"

"You'll what?" He pressed. "Cut yourself?" The room fell silent as Fang stopped struggling and looked up at him. "What you didn't realize we knew? Yeah that's right. The big, almighty Fang has to cut himself to feel useful. Well I have news for you. You still don't mean anything."

Fang just continued to glare at him. His eyes blank of all emotion. Just a deep dark pool of anger and hate.

But I saw it. I was probably the only one to see it. I saw it deep inside his expression. Belief. He actually believed what Ari just told him. He believed he was nothing.

I had to get the attention off him. I couldn't let more lies get to him. I was the one they wanted anyway. It was always me. "You're wrong!" I yelled at him. "You are the one no one needs. I mean even your father couldn't stand to take you with him."

Everyone's attention turned on me. I saw Fang give me a 'what-the-Hell-are-you-doing' look. I just continued on with my taunts. 'Better me then you.' I thought to him. His eyes widened as if he heard me, as if he understood that I was going to save him, even if I have to go down myself to do it.

Ari was right in front of me now. "What did you just say?" His sick breath wafted over my face. I had to keep myself from gagging.

"You heard me. Everyone knows. I'm daddy's favorite."

He growled as he came towards me, arm raised ready to strike. "You bitc…"

"Ari." Jeb's voice stopped his pursuits. "Stop."

I smiled smugly up at him as he backed off, a frown on his face, hate in his eyes. "Yeah that's right. I'm the one you can't touch. I'm the one you need. You kill me and then what do you have?" I couldn't just keep my big mouth shut could I?

"Oh but that's where you are wrong my dear Maximum. That's just what we are here for." Ari sneered.

I did a double take. What? They were here to hurt me? They usually just wanted to capture me, and make me save the world and all that shit. What is going on? Why is everything changing?

If you paid attention then maybe you will find out. My voice spoke up.

I sighed. Shut up! I thought back. So not the time!

Pay attention!

That was when I realized that maybe I should have been listening. Fang and Jeb where in a heated argument, and Ari was just waiting for the moment where he could beat the shit out of one of us.

"You bastard! You touch her, I swear, you will regret it! I know I'm the one you want. I'm the one you keep torturing her for. You are trying to pay me back for not being your killing machine! So you are turning Max into one. You bastard! I swear to God if you touch her, I'll kill you."

"Now, now Fang. No need to get hostile. We just came to talk, and get the object we came for. You know you almost ruined everything?"

"Good." Fang spat. "Your fucking plans should be ruined. You should fucking go to hell. I will gladly put you there. You and your fucking know it all voice."

"Fang. Watch that language. I'm not here for you. I'm here for Max, because she is carrying something very important to the outcome of your training."

"Leave Max out of this. If this is about me, take me. Leave her alone."

"I am afraid I can't do that. But I should really be thanking you. You have done much better than we hoped. This is all your doing after all."

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything for you."

"Oh but you did. It is all you. Just like Shadow's death was your fault."

I tensed as I saw Fang's eyes darken. He tried to get to Jeb, I'm sure, to strangle the life out of the bastard. "Don't you dare bring her into this! You killed her. It was you and your damn tests, and your damn Erasers."

"I must say Fang, I am disappointed in you. What have you been doing all these years? Have you not figured out what happened that day?"

Fang just stared at him. "I was there. I don't need to figure out anything. I already know. I was supposed to die, but instead she did."

Jeb just shook his head. "Then I'm sorry for this." He turned away form the circle and as he left nodded to Ari. "Go ahead." He told him.

A sickening smile came across his face. He turned to me and the Eraser holding me let go, but kept the gun to my head. I stayed where I was. "Come on Maxi. Don't you want to play?" He took a step toward me.

"Fuck you." I heard Fang shout at him.

"No. I'd rather do that with Max." I flinched as the words came from his mouth. Fang was glaring daggers at the back of his head. "But I must thank you for breaking her in for me." I wanted to throw up.

Fang growled at him. "Don't touch her. She has nothing to do with me! It's me you want dead. It has always been me. Come on. Come get me."

My eyes widened as he actually turned to Fang. No. No Fang, shut up!

"You're right. This is about you. But we all know the only way to hurt you is to hurt the ones you love. And Max just happens to be on the top of your list. Well, after Shadow of course."

"Shut up." He spat out. "Just shut the fuck up!"

"Oh, did I hit a sore spot with little Fangy?" Ari stepped right in front of him. Now even though Ari was still under ten years old, his eraser-ness gave him strength as well has height. He had a good inch or two on Fang. But neither looked away from the other's eyes. He was enjoying this too much.

I took a glance around the room. Erasers covered the walls. Jeb was in the back giving orders to one. He was supposed to put a memory erasing serum into Fang's parents. I turned my attention back to Fang as they fell to the floor unconscious. It was probably for the better.

Fang once again tried to escape from his captors. His muscles straining as he tried to get at Ari. "Don't talk about my sister. You don't know anything!"

There was complete silence for a moment before Ari's loud laugh shattered it. "Oh my god. Please don't tell me you still haven't figured it out."

Fang just glared up at him, but confusion crossed his features. "What are you talking about?"

Ari continued to laugh. "Shadow isn't your sister, stupid. She's your daughter."

Story: i know what you are all can she be his daughter? He was so young. it will be explained next chapter. I swear it will make sense. Plus i gave foreshadowing clues to this, so u might figure it out...hint hint...I always had Shadow has his daughter until i started writing it and couldn't find a way to do it, so i made her the sister. But then when i decided to continue this story, i found the perfect way to do it! you will just have to wait till next chapter to find out...

Next Chapter: Real Answers this time. A death. An end. An end to what you ask? You will just have to wait and find out...

Review please!

15. The Kill Prt 2

Story: Okay I got this chapter idea from the song The Kill from 30 Seconds to mars. Seriously need to listen to this song as you read it. The one part of the chapter is lyrics from the song. I know. i cheated. but I had this scene in my head since i decided to keep the story going and so i am not changing it.

Disclaimer: I don't claim what's not mine.

Max Pov

"Shadow isn't your sister, stupid. She's your daughter."


Fang's daughter.

Fang's daughter.

The words kept repeating over and over in my head.

How could he have a daughter? I mean, I am the only one he ever slept with…right? I was special to him right? Or am I just a notch in his bedpost?

No. No! What am I talking about? Of course not. Fang wouldn't do that to me. He loves me. Fang doesn't lie. Fang wouldn't hurt me that bad.

But then again he never told me about Shadow. Why would he tell me about his past conquests?

Oh God. Fang.

Your daughter?

How could she be your daughter?!

There was silence after the bomb was dropped, except of course for Ari's insane laughter.

That's when I saw it.

Fang's face. It was so pained. He was blinking rapidly, trying to clear his thoughts. I noticed his heavy breathing. He wasn't even looking at anything. His eyes were glancing around the room in a panic, trying to put the damn pieces together.

Then his eyes locked on mine. They were pleading. He didn't know. He really had no idea how this happened.

I was the first one he slept with. He knew it. I felt it. How could there be a daughter involved?

Ari finally calmed himself down enough. His face had a smug grin. Oh, how I wished to wipe that grin off his face permanently. He slowly walked over to Fang, who was now slumped back in his eraser's arms.

He looked scared.

Ari reached out. Fang didn't even flinch as Ari ran a claw down his cheek drawing blood. Ari chuckled again as he took a step away from Fang's overcame form.

"So, tell me now Fang, how does it feel to know your own daughter was killed because of you? How does it feel to know how bad of a father you were? I guess this is a good thing for you to learn too Max. Maybe now you will see what a loser he is, and stop giving yourself to him. You might want to pick a more…superior being." His sickening laugh rang through the room once more.

I winced. He was never going to touch me, that sick bastard.

I saw Fang's head snap up at the mention of me. His eyes taking on their previous composed form. "You're lying." He whispered.

Ari snapped his head back to Fang, a smile on his face. "Oh, you wish I was. Oh, wait. Don't tell me. This isn't going to ruin your relationship is it? I thought you two were destined to be with each other, your love conquering anything, and all that hallmark crap. That's the first rule we taught you Fang. Don't feel emotion, it'll just crush you in the end. Here's the thing. We really should have taught this to you Max. You see, love isn't what you think it is. It's never as it seems. That's why love is such a bitch."

"The only reason you think that is because she loves me, but you want it to be you. But here's the thing, she will never love you. You are just a stinking dog boy who follows us around like a fucking little stalker. You are her worst enemy. How could she ever love you? Sorry Ari, but love's a bitch."

I had to stop myself from laughing at Ari's expression. Fang's face was victoriously smug. Ari's was murderously furious. Ari took a step toward him.

Oh crap.

Fang's head snapped to the right with Ari's blow. Blood dripped from Fang's mouth as he turned his attention back to Ari.

He was a defiant bird boy, which in turn made him a stupid one too.

Fang stood up to his full height, well as much as the erasers would allow. He looked Ari right in the face and laughed.

Not a chuckle. Not a crackle. But a full fledged laugh. "Oh, Ari, Ari, Ari! My little dog boy. Don't be mad at me. It's not my fault no one wants you. I mean even your father wouldn't take you. Your own flesh and blood! He would rather have six genetically mutated kids then his own son. Ha. You have to be turned into a freak for him to even notice you! And still, here you are, trying to get us back. You see Ari, my dear, dear, boy, we are the important ones, not you." At the end of his little speech Fang threw his head back, and laughed.

He got another knock to the side of the head.

And another.

And another.

And another. Until, almost every inch of Fang's beautiful face was crimson. His eyes were hard and his face was set.

Was he suicidal? I wanted to kill him myself! He was actually challenging Ari. Fang, you idiot! Stop before he kills you!

Ari lifted his hand, claws ready. I held my breath waiting for Ari to slash Fang in two. No God.

Then he lowered his arm, and backed away.

What the fuck? What was he doing?

Ari smirked and walked out of the room.

I glanced at Fang. He looked just as shocked as me. He glanced at me and saw my questioning gaze. He shrugged his shoulders.

Our attention snapped back to the doorway as Ari returned. We both stiffened. He was holding the knife.

The knife that was on the kitchen floor. The knife Fang tried to use to cut himself. The knife that is slowly killing him, killing me.

He walked over to Fang. Fang stood up straighter, trying to back up. I saw the crazed look in Ari's eyes.

He was going to kill Fang.

My breath caught in my throat. I started to move forward, but froze as I heard the gun cock behind me. If I couldn't physically remove Ari from Fang, I would do it any way I could.

So yes. I the great incredible, indestructible Maximum Ride was begging. "No! Ari, no, please! Don't kill him. Take me. I don't care. It's always me you want. You said I was carrying something, take it. Just don't kill him."

"Max…" Fang whispered harshly.

I ignored him. "Please Ari. Take me back to the School, or where ever you wanted to take me. Leave Fang alone."



"Max shut up!"

"Ari, I will do anything. I don't care. You can have me! "

"Max! Shut the fuck up!"

I froze. Fang never used that voice with me. He always saved that voice for the erasers, his enemy. What just happened?

"Fang…I…I'm just trying to help you." I whispered.

"Well stop trying to play hero! You have no idea what you are getting in the middle of. I don't need your help."

I wanted to cry. I wanted to curl up in a ball, and cry my eyes out, like a four year old.

How could he be that way? How could he be like that?

Max. He has a daughter, what makes you think he needs you anymore?

No. You're wrong Voice.

No max. I warned you about this.

He loves me.

No. He loves his daughter. And you are just getting in the way now.

I shook my head. No, this can't be happening.

I glanced at Fang. His face held so much pain. Like that night he revealed his past to me. It held so much regret like after our fight in the bedroom.

He tried to get to me as he saw a tear run down my cheek.

Ari pushed him back. "Where do you think you're going birdie?"

Fang just glanced over at me. "I'm sorry." He mouthed. "Love you."

"Hey. I'm talking to you!" Ari roughly grabbed Fang's head turned him face forward.

"Fuck off Ari. Can't you ever just let it go?"

He cracked a smile. "Says the man who tried to kill himself because he thought his…'sister'…was dead."

Fang stiffened at the mention of Shadow. I could see the conflict coming back. "She is my sister." He said it out loud, but it was more of a confirmation to himself.

"Oh God. Do we really have to do this again? Fine. Shadow isn't your sister. Shadow is your daughter. Yes, you killed your daughter."

"She's not my daughter! It's impossible!"

"You should know by now, nothing is impossible. I mean hell, you have fucking wings!"

"I was eight years old when she was five!! I would have had to have had her when I was three! And I know I was still a virgin until Max."

Ari smirked. His know-all smirk, that tells us he knows something we need to know. "First off man, I wouldn't be bragging about that…"

"Yeah, like you can say any better." I mumbled.

Fang smiled. Ari's smirk faltered a bit. "You are both idiots." I heard him say. "You bird kids are really not as intelligent as we give you credit for."

"Stop debating our intellect, because we all know it's more than yours, and just answer my damn question." Fang replied, just a tad bit pissed off. Ha! That's a laugh. When has Fang ever been anything but totally pissed off?

Ari rolled his eyes. "You can still have a kid when you are three."

"But I didn't." Fang stated, looking directly at me. I guess he wanted to assure me; I was in fact the only one he ever loved.

"That's right you didn't."

"But you just said…"

"I just said it was possible, not that you actually did."

"You aren't making any sense!" Fang stated exasperated. "I either did have Shadow when I was three, or I didn't. She is either my daughter, or she's not. Now what is it?"

"You didn't have Shadow when you were three stupid. In fact she isn't even born yet."

"What…?" Confusion was filling Fang's expression. I'm sure mine was just as much.

Ari was starting to get pissed off.

"Oh my God!" he finally yelled. "This would make sense if her power was to travel through time!" he slowly enunciated the last three words as if we were brain dead and not just completely clueless.

Fang looked at him in disbelief.

"What happens when you mix a conjuror," he pointed at Fang, "and super speed?" he pointed at me, "Any one? That's right! You get time travel," he pointed at me again.

I looked at him in surprise. Fang's head shot toward me, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Then it dawned on me.

Oh my God. Fang got me pregnant.

I was carrying something important. I was carrying Shadow right now. The first ever naturally produced mutant. The reason why Fang was a mess.

Fang and I just made his past happen. We just assured him pain for years.

I looked at Fang with fear in my eyes. They wanted Shadow now. They want to make sure she goes back in time. They want to make sure she dies in the past. They want to make sure Fang turns into a killer.

I didn't realize I had placed my hand on my stomach until I looked down.

They wanted my baby.

No. They wanted Fang's baby. Our baby.

Ari started to cackle again. "Yes that's right Maximum. You are mommy of the year! Congratulations. Too bad we have to take her."

I turned to Fang. He wouldn't let them take her. Not now that we have a second chance.

But I saw his eyes. They were filled with sorrow, pain, regret, disbelief. No. He was thinking of what he caused. All his pain. He wasn't thinking of this as his second chance; he was thinking of it as his fate. His fate to watch her die, and be a killer.

He was glancing between me and Ari. He didn't comprehend this. He shook his head repeatedly. "No…no…just no! This...this isn't…it's not…no! God no." He was drawing back. He was retreating inside himself again. His emotions were dying away, being replaced with emptiness.

He was turning back into how he was before he met me. When he would do anything to just make it end. He glanced at the knife in Ari's hand with an envious expression.

My heart sank. This was not happening. Why is this happening!? Why is fate taking Fang away from me? Why is Fate ruining our lives! Why can't Fate just leave us the fuck alone! Screw fate. Screw destiny. Screw the whole damn world!

Ari smiled ruefully. "Oh how the mighty have fallen. Damn Fang. I thought you would at least try to save her, but then again you would just fail again wouldn't you? She was always your weakness." I watched as Fang slumped back in defeat.

My breathing came out in rasps as I watched Ari turn his attention to me. He smiled at me, his fangs protruding sickly from his mouth. He nodded to the eraser behind me and I felt the cold steel against the back of my head pushing me forward toward him. His grip on the knife tightened.

No. This was my end. They were going to win. Ari was going to have me, kill Fang. Fang…Oh god, Fang. I looked up at him in hope, but that hope soon vanished. His eyes were frantically moving panicked across my face; his chest heaving with his breaths. That's when I realized I wasn't going to have my night in shining armor save me this time. This time, I was going to die.

I was wrong. They didn't want Shadow to go back in time. They didn't want her at all. She brought the emotion out of Fang. If Fang never had his emotion, he would be their killer. Just liked they hoped.

But Jeb wouldn't let them kill me…right? I was supposed to save the world. I was too special. But that's when I noticed Jeb was no longer in the room. Either were Fang's unconscious parents, and about half of the erasers. They left.

I was going to die.

Fang was lost from my sight the moment I saw him hang his head and clench his eyes shut. His muscles were straining against the erasers grasp.

They stopped me a few feet from Ari, Fang behind him. And I decided, if this was going to be my end, then I was going to go out with as much pride as I could.

I roughly yank myself out of the eraser's arms, and stood up to my full height. The eraser backed off as Ari commanded.

He smirked. "Always had to be the strong one didn't you Max? Should have guessed you would be at the end. Oh, I am going to enjoy this so much."

I wouldn't let Ari see my fear as he stepped toward me.

But the thing was, I wasn't scared for myself. I was scared for my baby, for Shadow. I was scared for her father. What would he do once both his daughter and girlfriend are killed in front of him…again? Would he be able to go on, be the strong one for the flock if they ever needed him? Or would I see him where ever I end up after this life? Would he still love me?

Oh I love you Fang.

Ari was about a foot away from me when he stopped. He smiled down at me and raised the knife. I shut my eyes tightly waiting for the blow, for the pain.

It never came.

I slowly opened my eyes. They widened in disbelief at what was before me.

Ari was in front of me, eyes bulging, gasping for air. The knife was not in his hands.

I heard the distinct sound of metal across skin and then Ari dropped to the floor.

My heart almost stopped.

Fang was standing where Ari just was, with the bloody knife in his hand. The two erasers that were previously restraining him were in a pool of their own blood, necks at a weird angle, along with about five other erasers in his close vicinity.

Fang looked murderous. Blood covered his torn clothes, his skin. Some of it his own, most not. His chest rose and fell with each panting breath. Is face was a deadly angry. His eyes…his eyes were slits of black and red.

I gaped at him as he began to smile down at Ari. "So Ari, now whose enjoying this?" He laughed maniacally. "Oh God, I forgot how good this feels." He cracked his neck and flexed is hands. "The power is incredible." He stops and stands over Ari's gasping form. "What do you think? Think it's an improvement. Not so weak anymore huh?" He laughed again.

I was frozen to my spot. This wasn't Fang. This was…something else. This was what they wanted him to be. No wonder he ran from it. My breathing stopped as I felt the cold steel if the gun against my head once more.

Fang's head wiped around as he heard it cock. He narrowed his eyes at the eraser behind me. "Do you have a death wish?" He asked him.

I felt the eraser shake his head behind me. "Drop the knife or I shoot her."

Fang sighed and rolled his eyes. "You all are a bunch of idiots." He sighed again and held up his free hand. In less than a moment the cold of the steel left my head and I saw the glint of the gun in Fang's hand aiming at the eraser behind me. "Idiots." He mumbled before he pulled the trigger.

I gasped as the eraser dropped dead next to me, blood pouring from the wound in the dead center of his head.

I looked up at Fang in shock. He almost shot me!

He sighed again and put the gun in his back pocket, before he looked up at me. He saw my freaked out expression. "What?"

"Fang! You almost shot me!"

"I did not."

"What if you missed?"

His dark gaze penetrated my eyes. "I don't miss." He told me, fear running down my spine. "I would never hurt you Max. I am doing this for you. For her. I'm giving up everything for you." His eyes softened as he looked at me. "I love you too much." He whispered.

He turned his gaze away from me and looked back down at Ari still trying to keep himself alive. Fang's gaze hardened again. His eyes swept over the edge of the knife still in his hand, before he started to grin again.

"You know what? I am sick of you Ari. You really piss me off. You wouldn't listen to reason. You treated us like shit. I am so going to enjoy this." He smiled down at him. Fang leaned down over Ari's quivering form. He pressed the knife down drawing blood from his cheek. "A cut for a cut." He cut another line under the first. "A slash for a slash." He drew another line and I realized he was making the same marks on Ari that Fang had gotten from him after their first fight on the beach. "A scar for a scar." He barely sneered it out. He flip the knife over in his hand so the point was down and I froze as I realized what he as about to do. He held it over Ari's heart. "A life for a life." And he plunged the knife into his heart. His dead heart.

And he showed nothing. He just twisted it farther in until Ari went limp, then he calmly pulled it out standing up.

As an eraser came forward to help, Fang glanced at him and within seconds the knife was lodged in the eraser's chest. A blink later the knife was back in Fang's hand. "Try anything, you're next." Fang threatened the few remaining erasers.

He stood there holding the bloody knife, looking at Ari's dead corpse, for a few long moments. It was silent. The other erasers were scared shit to move. I couldn't understand how Fang could so carelessly kill so many of them.

That was until he looked over at me. His eyes were black but they were filled with tears. I took a step toward him. "Fang…" I cautiously reached out to him.

I froze when he started laughing again. It was sad even to my ears. "God…I'm so screwed up aren't I?" He angrily wiped the tears from his eyes. He looked over at me, eyes soft "Are you okay?"

All I could do was nod.

He looked skeptical. "It's okay you know. I won't hurt you."

I nodded again. "I know."

"This was a long time in coming. I'm sorry you had to learn it this way. I'm sorry I kept this from you."

"Kept what exactly?"

"How powerful I am. There was a reason I was picked for this. To be this." He dryly laughed again. "God…I'm so fucked up." He looked down at Ari again. "I forgot what it felt like."


"This power. This need for blood. I know I never wanted to kill before, but I always was out for some blood, just not enough. God, it feels so good to have this back." He smiled again. "No one will ever hurt you." He whispered.

He glanced up at the group of erasers left in his house. "And you fuck bags. Do you want to go? Do you? Come on. Let's see what you got." He laughed as none of the erasers moved. "God! How did I go so long without this? I tried to be someone else, for years I ignored this call, but nothing seemed to change. I know now; this is who I really am inside. It feels so good to finally let this part of me free again. I know now, this is a part of me; this is who I really am. I am your worst nightmare. I am your killer. I am going to kill every last one of you. You understand me? I'm in charge now. If I ever so much as see one of you again, I'll kill you. You might want to pass this message on to the other wolves. God only knows you don't want to end up like your buddies." He gestured to the dead bodies on the floor. "Leave us. Or I swear, I'll kill you."

Then all the erasers ran out of the house and took their now deceased friends with them. Fang looked over at me and smiled. "No one is ever going to touch you again."

I softly smiled. I didn't want him to turn into the thing he feared the most just because of me. I moved over to him. I wrapped him in my arms. "Fang. Come back to me."

"What are you talking about? I am right here?"

I shook my head and kissed him. "Thank you for what you did for me, for us. But you don't have to stay this way anymore. I need my Fang back. Shadow needs her father back. The one that loves us."

"I do love you Max." he murmured down at me.

"I know. But this isn't how you are meant to be."

"Then why am I always fighting it?"

"You don't have to anymore Fang. This is part of you. But it is only a small part. Don't you understand? It's not an evil side. You did it to save my life, to save your daughter's life. Use it when you have to. But please don't let yourself die for the power. Come back please." I kissed him again. "I love you Fang. We need you back."

Fang shamefully looked away from us, but nodded. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A moment later he open them and his deep onyx irises stared back at me, no slit in sight. I smiled up at him. "Welcome back daddy."

He smiled wider and kissed me hard. "I love you." He mumbled against my lips. Then he moved down to my stomach and lifted my shirt up. He placed kisses all over my bare stomach. "And I love you." He whispered.

I ran my figures through his hair. He moved back up to my lips and smiled through the kiss. When we pulled back I sighed in contentment. "So it's over?" I asked him.

He looked down at me sadly. He shook his head. "It's not over as long as Jeb is still willing." He placed a hand on my stomach. "I can't let him win."

I frowned as I caught the double meaning behind his words. "Fang. Please don't."

He glanced up at me. "I have to. You have to be safe. I can't let anything happen to you…especially not because of me."

"You won't let anything happen. We will be fine if you are with us. Please Fang. Don't leave us. You can't leave us to get him. We need you here right now. I need you. Please. Promise me you won't go…Promise me."

He sighed and looked down for a while. "Fang, please…" I was on the verge of tears. Damn hormones.

He looked up at me and wiped away a renegade tear. "I promise." He whispered then kissed me.

Fang Pov

We left shortly after 'The Scene' took place. That is how I am referring to it. 'The Scene.'

Max and I flew to a Motel 6 in Montana. We had to leave. I couldn't stay there. My parents…well they won't even remember. Who were we trying to fool? We are never going to be normal. And I have accepted that.

It's the middle of the night right now. Max is asleep on the queen sized bed, the sheet covering her. Yes, we did sleep together. What? We had to celebrate somehow. Shadow is alive. Shadow is our daughter. We are going to be parents. Max and I are going to have a baby. We have created life. We are going to be responsible for her life.

And that is why I am doing this.

You see, I did do tonight as a congratulation, but it was also a goodbye.

I know I promised. But I can't just sit here while he makes a plan to take them away form me. While he has the time to make a perfect plan.

I have to go kill Jeb Batchelder.

But I will come back to her. I will be here for Max. I will be a father to Shadow. I will not be one of those deadbeat dads you hear about that leave their girl to take care of the kid themselves. I will take care of them both.

But I have to do this first. I have to make sure they will be safe.

I sigh as I quietly pack my things. I turn to a new page in my notebook and write Max a note. I will not leave her high and dry.

I place the notebook, open to the new page, on my pillow. I also leave my knife, and a box. A gift so to speak.

I walk over to Max and kiss her on her forehead. "I love you." I whisper in her ear. She smiles in her sleep. I move down and kiss the blanket over her stomach. "Be safe." I whisper to them both. I walk over to the window and with one last look I take off.

Death Valley, here I come.

Max Pov

I woke up when it was still dark. I sighed and stretched out hoping to find the warmth of Fang's body. It wasn't there. I snapped my eyes open and looked around the room. 'Not again!' I panicked.

That's when I saw it, and my world crashed down.

His notebook. He left me his notebook, and his knife, and something else. I shakily grabbed them and placed them in my lap.

The notebook was open to a new page and "Read First" was written across the top in big, dark letters.

I read slowly. And my world crashed farther.

Dear Max,

Sorry. I am so sorry. I know I promised, but I have to save you. I can't let anything happen to you. I love you too much.

I am sorry I have to leave you like this, but I won't let them get you. I can't. Either of you. You are everything to me.

I love you. Don't forget that. This is not goodbye, this is see you later. I will be back. I swear. I love you.

Please keep yourself safe. Use the knife if you have to. Please don't let yourself be hurt because I couldn't live with myself if this ends up hurting you. Please don't be mad that I lied to you, it was with the best of intentions. Please don't be too sad that I am not there. I will be back sooner than you know.

Please, I Love you.

Forever yours,


P.S. Open the box then flip the page.

I reread the letter three times before deciding being this upset is not good for the baby. I calmed myself down enough so it was just a trickle of tears instead of the river that was running over my cheeks earlier.

I read the letter one more time before grabbing the box left behind. It was small and white. It fit in the palm of my hand. I opened it and froze.

I flipped the page shakily.

No way this is what I think it is.

I looked down at the page and my breath caught in my throat.

For in the box was a ring.

And on the page were simply the words "Marry me?"

Okay. i hope it was worth it! and i hope it came out as how i pictured it in my head. It was really hard for me to write. i suck at action. If any part was confusing please tell me! hopefully i can fix it.

Next Chapter: Switches from Fang and Max. Max: Some decision making, some talking, a reunion. Fang: Bloodlust, Death, Hate.

Please Review!!

16. Try and Think of What Your Missing

Won't bore you with details. Go, read, enjoy...

Disclaimer: I don't claim


It's been a week.

One long painful week since Fang abandoned me. No, he didn't abandon me; he left. He will come back. I just have to keep telling myself that.

I bet you're wondering about the other part of his little surprise. Well, the ring is in the pocket of my jeans. I didn't say no, if that's what you are thinking. I just didn't exactly say yes either.

I know what you must be thinking, 'How could you not say YES?!' He is only the love of your life, the father of your child, your best friend, your savior, your LIFE. But hey, give me some credit here; it's a little more complicated than that.

I am 15 years old, and pregnant, and the father is MIA at the moment. For all I know, he could be dead.

No, I won't think about that. He can't be dead. I saw what he turns into, how can that be defeated? He has to come back to me, to us. I can't do this on my own.

He promised. He promised me he wouldn't leave. And he lied. How can I trust he will come back to me now?

I sigh. There is too much to think about. Too much to try to keep my mind off of. How can he add a proposal to all this shit?

Where the fuck did he get the ring anyway?

Oh right, conjuror.

Well, I guess you all are glad to know I am not obsessing over this Fang issue. Sarcasm people. Sarcasm.

I am currently on my way to Maine. Why Maine you ask? Two words. Iggy and Nudge. In case you are counting, the 'and' in that sentence doesn't count as one of the words.

I needed to be with someone, one of my flock members. It was going to be hard enough telling Iggy and Nudge about Shadow. How was I supposed to tell Gazzy and my baby Angel that I was going to be a teen mom?

At least the older kids will get how this happened. You know, Fang and me, the birds and the bees…

I reached their home quicker than I would have thought, even with my super speed. I landed out front a two story house with a large yard surrounding it. I took a deep breath before knocking on the large wooden door.

I heard scrambling behind the door before it swung open. Iggy stood there, if possible, a few inches taller than the last time I saw him.

He waited impatiently for whoever it was to make some type of noise. I took another deep breath and causally stated "Hey Ig."

His face turned from impatient to disbelieving. "Max?" he barely whispered.

"Yeah. It's me. Is this a bad time? I can come back when you are not busy." I started to turn when I felt a large hand on my shoulder stopping me, how he knew exactly where it was I have no idea.

"Are you crazy Max? It's never a bad time for you. Nudge is going to freak. She has wanted to pay you and Fang a visit for a while, but we have had no idea where you two would be. Where is Fang? I can't hear him with you."

I looked up at him nervously. I have to tell him sometime, but not on his front porch. "Yeah, he's, well, not with me at the moment. It's just me. I kind of need to talk to you guys. It's, well, really important."

His face filled with worry and he immediately ushered me inside and sat me on a couch. "Of course. What's wrong? Is someone hurt? Is it Fang? How could he leave you alone?" That last part was said more under his breath to himself than to me. He shook his head and turned toward the stairs. "One sec, Max. Nudge! Get down here!" he yelled.

I heard a thump and clumps running down the steps. Nudge froze at the bottom, eyes wide. "Oh my Gosh! Max!" She ran over and jump onto me with an, oof. I gently tried to get her off my stomach as discreetly as possible. She didn't notice, just sat up next to me and latched onto my arm. "Oh my Gosh! I can't believe you are here! We were going to come visit you and everything, but we didn't know where you guys were. Where's Fang? Is he still with you? Oh no. He didn't leave you, did he? Did he find his parents and stay with them? Or is he coming too! And he's just late! Oh I hope. Fang would never leave you by yourself! He is like in love with you or something. Always fighting over you and watching you. And he only talks to you. I mean really, why else would he, if he didn't at least like you. And I know you like him. You did kiss him. And I didn't see him complaining about it either."


"Yeah Ig?"

"Shut up."

Nudge's smile didn't falter as she glanced at Iggy. However she did as she was told and shut up. "Sorry." She laughed out.

Ig shook is head again and sat in a chair across from us. "So Max. What's wrong?"

Nudge's eyes widened at his words and finally looked at my face. I am sure it was pale over her words.

How was I going to tell them? I sighed and placed my head in my hands. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I looked up as I felt Iggy place his hand on my knee reassuringly. "It's okay Max. You can tell us."

I nodded my head and took a deep breath again. "Okay. I don't know exactly how to tell you guys. Well, I, I mean we, it did take two of us to do this, so we, well, me, I'm…I'm pregnant."

There I said it.

I looked up into my former flock member's faces. I saw the color drain out of them. "What?" Nudge asked.

"I'm pregnant." I repeated with a little more confidence.

I saw Iggy sit back in his chair, panic written over his face. "Who's the father?" he asked in a rush.

I looked over at him in confusion. "What?"

"The father? Who is it?" he asked more urgently.

"Fang." I told him.

He let out a breath and relief washed over his features. "Thank God." I heard him mumble. Then I saw him start to smirk. "So you two finally got together I see. You have to tell me. How was it? Was he any good?"

I smirked right back at him, which only Nudge would see. "Why? You want a go at him?"

Ig's eyes widened in shock and slight disgust. "That's so wrong Max."

I shook my head and said in all seriousness. "But no really. I came to you guys because I know you can handle this. I'll give you the cliff notes version. Fang and I love each other. We got together and well, you know what happened. We found his parents and he didn't want them. Ari and Jeb showed up. Some stuff was said. I'm told I'm pregnant. They want to kill the baby. Fang went all 'I'm going to murder you', killed Ari, and scared the rest of the Erasers off. Fang left. I find the note. I came here."

Nudge was frozen next to me. She hasn't moved since I dropped the bomb.

Ig's faced, if possible, paled more as I told the story. "Does Fang know?"

I look over at him seriously. "Know what?"

"That you're having his kid Max." He said in a 'duh' tone.

I nodded. "Yeah. Of course."

He looked at me incredulously. "And he left you?"

I felt a jolt of pain across my chest. "No." I whispered. "It's not like that Iggy. Fang loves me and this baby. He didn't leave in the 'deadbeat dad' kind of way, he left in the 'I have to protect you' kind of way. He's going to go kill some more people."

"And Ari?" Nudge finally whispered. "Ari…he's dead? Like dead-dead. Not like last time where he came back?"

I sighed remembering what Fang had to turn into for that to happen. "Oh yeah. Fang sure kills good." I sighed again and felt Nudge rub my back between my wings, just how Fang does when I need to calm down. I looked at her gratefully.

"Do you know where Fang is?" I heard her whisper.

"No. And it's killing me not knowing. That's partially why I am here. Is there some way for you to be able to tell where he is? Like off his vibarations on his stuff or something?" I looked at Nudge, eyes begging.

"No, I'm sorry. That's Angel's thing."

I sighed, once again. "Yeah. I need Angel. I should go over to California then. How am I supposed to explain what happened?"

I placed my head in my hands again as my mind continued to turn.

What was I supposed to do? Should I go to Angel? Would the flight be okay on the baby, or bring it too much stress?

And Fang. What if he doesn't come back? What if he does get hurt? How am I supposed to raise this kid on my own?

NO, Fang will be okay. He has to be…

He has to hear my answer.

I feel the silver ring through the fabric of my jeans. What is my answer?

I felt the couch shift next to me and an arm came around my shoulders gently. Ig started whispering in my ear, guess he paid attention to when Fang used to do it to me. "It's okay Max. You stay here. We will look after you, and keep you healthy for the baby's sake. Nudge will go get Angel and bring her back. I'm not sure how much flying you should do at the moment. Angel will contact Fang. It will be okay Max. Fang is strong, maybe too strong for his own good. He can take care of himself."

I leaned against Ig and nodded, feeling my eyes start to droop. Then sleep took me.

Fang POV

I missed Max.

I missed her more than anyone would ever know.

It's been a week since I left her that horrible note, and offered her my life.

I still can't believe I left her. But I HAD to. She needs to be safe. We can't raise Shadow if we are always on the run. It's going to be difficult as it is. Her being able to time travel, and of course how young Max and I are.

I shook my head of those thoughts. That's why I am here. To make sure I can keep them safe. Keep them alive.

I was at the School.

I had been for four days. I have been in the forestland just outside the School's gates, observing.

And I finally had my plan.

I didn't like it, but it was the only way this would be done.

I have to change again. For Max. For Shadow. I had to.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I gave up the fight, and let the power swim throughout my veins.

I could feel as my eyes turned to slits. As my muscles strained to be used. As my hearing picked up new sounds. I could feel the desire to rip out someone's neck and let the blood spill.

But this time, it wasn't my blood I needed. It was Jeb's. It was Anne's. It was every damn Scientist that could ever possibly hurt Max and our kid.

I was going to kill them. Just like I promised. Nothing was going to stop me.


I woke up in a big king's size bed. It was a typical downy white comforter and sheets. The walls were a tan. There were dressers and a full length mirror against the walls.

This must have been Nudge's mom's room.

I sat up slowly in bed and tried to figure out what happened.

I remember freaking out, and Iggy trying to calm me.

I must have passed out.

I got up slowly and tested my legs. My throat burned, I swallowed hard and made my way through the door.

I heard pots rattling in the kitchen and I made my way in there. I saw Iggy behind the stove as I sat by the counter.

"You feeling okay?" he asked, not glancing away from what he was doing…I guess it wouldn't really matter.

"Yeah, thanks. How long have I been out?"

"Umm…a couple hours. You must have been over worked. You know, you really shouldn't worry yourself too much anymore. That's not good for the baby."

I frowned. Like I have control over it. "Yeah, I know that Ig." I spat out a little too harsh.

He turned to the direction of my voice. "Sorry, didn't mean it like that. You are going to be a great mother Max. I mean you basically raised Angel, and now look at her. Well...if you get past the creepy mind controlling part of her anyway. I didn't mean anything by it, really. We just want you healthy. And with Fang not here at the moment, I want to make sure you don't do something stupid."

"Thanks Ig."

"I'm just doing it, 'cuz if I don't, I'll be the next on Fang's hit list." I chuckled, because it was true. "You must be thirsty." He gestured to a glass of water in front of me.

I looked over at him in shock. "How did you know?"

"You flew across the country and conked out for a couple hours. I figured you would need some refueling. Your burgers will be done in a few minutes."

I nodded as I gulped down the water. Then I surveyed the kitchen for a moment and noticed the house was a bit too silent. "Where's Nudge?"

"On her way to get Angel for you. They should be back in a day or two."

"She's going by herself?" I started panicking…again. Yes, I know. Even after Ig just told me NOT to.

"Calm down Max. She will be fine. Remember, when you were her age you were leading us and raising us on your own. Nudge just has to fly a few miles." Silence. "Yeah, okay. It might be more than a few." I smiled as he laughed.

Silence over took the room again, until I was told to sit at the table and four burgers were placed in front of me. Ig sat opposite me listening as I inhaled the food. "So…You and Fang had sex."

I almost choked on the food as Iggy so calmly stated that. "Personal Ig!" I growled at him.

He held his hands up in an 'I'm-so-innocent-what-are-you-talking-about' gesture. "Whoa, I'm not asking for details. That's guy talk I will be saving for Fang." I narrowed my eyes, like he could tell. "I'm just saying. You two finally did it. Fang finally got the balls to do something."

I shook my head. "No Ig. I did it. Fang just did it back." I blushed as I realized what just came out of my mouth…could this be a more awkward conversation? Don't answer that.

I glanced back up at him as I heard him chuckle. "Yeah. Fang never would have done that if you didn't want it. But still, you guys are 15. And you obviously didn't use protection considering you are now carrying his child. I'm surprised at that. And it was all so sudden. What changed?"

I pushed the rest of my food away, suddenly not hungry.

'What changed?' His words kept repeating over and over.

Everything changed.

But I couldn't tell him that. Fang wouldn't want him to know. He didn't even want me to know.

So I went with the easy version. "I love him Ig. I didn't plan on it happening. It just did."

He nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I can see that. Well, not see, but…never mind."

I smiled. He was never shy about being blind. That's one of those things about Ig that make you need him around. Silence overtook the room as I finished eating. I pushed my plate away and sat back in my seat.

I watched as Ig blindly looked around the room. I could still feel the metal through my pocket, and sighed. Iggy quickly glanced at me. "Something wrong?"

"No." I whispered. Silence once again over took us.

Should I tell him? I wanted someone to know. But should I tell him?

I sighed again and made a snap decision. "You know he proposed to me."

His head snapped my way. "Fang? Really?"

"Yup, got a ring and everything."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing yet. There is a lot to deal with right now. Plus, I can't exactly answer him at the moment anyway."

He nodded in understanding. "What do you want to say?" He asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I don't know Ig. I really don't know. I mean I love him, really I do. And he is the father of my…our…our kid. And I know I want him with me for forever. But, I don't know, can we get married? I mean we are 15, and technically, to everyone but the school, we don't exist. We don't even know our real names, or when we were born, or anything. And really what difference would it make?"

"It apparently would make a difference to him, otherwise he wouldn't have asked."

"It's not like I don't think anything of it either, I mean it is a really big deal. But to anyone but us, it won't really change much. We already seem married to everyone, we basically raised Angel ourselves. But it won't really mean much, right?"

"Your child might think otherwise. But this doesn't matter about anyone but you…and Fang of course. Just, is it what you want? Is Fang what you want?"

I let out a deep breath, frustrated. "Why do you care so much Ig? I mean, you never seemed like you cared much about what was going on between me and him. Why are you all of a sudden so interested?"

He looked down guiltily. "I'm not sure I am supposed to tell you. Actually I am not sure if Fang even knew."

Now I was interested. "Knew what?"

"How much he needs you." He whispered. He took a deep breath and drew confidence; he sat up straight and looked directly at me with strange accuracy. "Max, Fang has always needed you. I could hear him sometimes when he was asleep. He would mumble the darkest things, he would be begging for death to just take him already. I could hear the desperation in his voice all the time. Like he was clinging onto something to keep him alive. And he found that one thing, in you. His voice would calm and his struggling would stop after he thought of you, or talked to you, or said your name. But sometimes when he was alone, I could feel something wafting off of him in waves. Sometimes I had to get away from him it was too much to handle. It was just so dark, and hurt. I don't know. But you, you always suppressed it. I don't know. But I do know that if you brake his heart, there won't be a Fang left."

I swallowed hard. He knew. He knew there was something wrong with Fang. He just didn't know what. "He's had it rough. Well, we all have. But he, he had it so much worse than the rest of us. You have no idea." I had to try to keep back the tears now. "You have no idea how close he was to leaving us all in the most permanent way." I swallowed my tears back. "But he never told anyone that. He never showed anything." My heart ached. "He tried to shield us from it, shield me from it." A tear slipped down my cheek as realization dawned upon me. "Just like he's trying to do now." I barely whispered it.

That was it. That was why Fang was doing this. Why he left.

He was trying to save our child from having to go through what he did. All that pain, all that training. He was saving her.

But doesn't he know? Doesn't he understand?

He has to be with us, if he wants to change things.

Iggy came over to a chair next to me and once again gathered me in his arms. "So you know too? You understand why it worried me so much who the father was. I don't know what Fang would have done if you didn't choose him."

"There wasn't even a second thought."

"Then why do you even have to think twice now?"

I sighed; Fang's scarred arms flashing behind my eyes. "It's complicated."

Fang POV

I didn't even hesitate as I made my way up to the door of The School.

The eraser on guard froze as he saw me coming. I guess word got around.

I visibly saw him gulp as my eyes narrowed on him. He quickly glanced around looking to see if, by some chance, I wasn't looking at him.

I was. I was looking directly at that filthy piece of shit with so much hate. I swear I imagined killing him twenty different ways before I got close enough to notice what he was doing.

He was calling for back-up.

That dumb shit. Does he really think that he, or any other of those oversized stuffed pups, could beat me? Beat this thing I am?

I almost grinned at the thought.

You see, there is one problem with this power, well, one problem I am counting at the moment. It makes you think you are invincible.

Your not.

But I sure as Hell am more powerful. I made my way over to the dog just as he ended his conversation. He looked at me with fear in his eyes. I wanted to grin so badly. "I give you three seconds to let me inside, or I am snapping your neck." I stated with an absolute promise in my voice.

He shook with fear. I think I actually did grin this time. "1…" he whimpered. "2…" I almost yawned out. "3." I rolled my eyes and in a second, he was dead before me.

I watched with sick satisfaction as blood ran across my fingers. I dropped the body to the ground with a thump. I squeezed my fingertips together and let the red liquid mix before I heard a swoosh from behind me.

And there he was, Jeb. Just the man I was looking for. And the woman as well it seems, as I saw Anne next to him.

I quickly licked the blood off my skin as if it was the most natural thing to do, then took a step forward. I growled menacingly.

"Well, I must say Fang, I am a bit surprised to find you here. After everything you just learned, I would think you would have stuck with your pregnant mate. And I never would have thought you would have the guts to show here after you killed my son."

I barked a laugh. "Your son? Oh, so now he's your son? After I killed the son of a bitch…no sorry, he's the fucking son of the devil incarnate." I glared right at him.

He sighed. "Always with a dirty mouth."

Anne looked over at me. "So, what are you here for? Do you want to finally join us? Or do you want to turn yourself in?"

I looked around as if in thought, then I turned and grinned at her. "Oh well, Anne, you back-stabbing bitch. I'm here to do neither of those things. I, actually, am here to kill you. Like you came to kill Max. Like you killed Shadow."

Jeb looked questioningly at me for a moment. "So, have you killed her yet?"

I took a step toward him, ready to strangle the bastard. "I'm not going to."

He actually looked shocked. "What? Fang, don't you realize what will happen? If you don't kill Shadow now, then you will just insure your past, her death. But if you do, then you will be our little killer. Just think, you could be as cold as you wanted. All this pain you have gone through your whole life, could never exist. You could make a clean slate. You wouldn't have to feel anything."

"I would kill Max." I growled out.

He just shrugged. "Well there is that. Well what do you chose? Shadow's death and a lifetime of pain? Or Max's death and no pain?"

"I won't choose! We will figure out another solution. One you won't know about."

"Now Fang. Think rationally, there is no other choice. Do what you have to do. Kill Max and in turn, you can save the world."

My eyes narrowed on his face. "I thought you wanted Max to 'Save the World.'"

"Oh she did her part by getting pregnant. Now it's your turn. Think about it Fang. The power you feel, think of what you could do if you just embrace it! The possibilities! Think Fang, for one second. If Max does not have this child, then you would have turned into what you were meant to, what you were programmed to. Your whole group would be alive and doing its purpose. You would do our bidding. You could control the entire world for us. Think of what would happen if it was under one ruler? No wars, no starvation, no…nothing. We could end the lives of anyone who opposes us. Fang, don't you see the beauty in it? If you were trained right. You would save the world from itself!"

"But I would be putting it in the hands of some shit like you." I snarled out and grabbed for his neck, but Anne stepped in my way.

"I don't think that will do you any good Fang. He's the only one keeping you alive at the moment."

I smiled sickeningly at her. "Yeah, well. There is nothing keeping you alive at the moment."

Then I had my overly large hands wrapped tightly around her neck. I squeezed tightly, as I heard Jeb yelling for someone to come quickly. I felt the pulse of her jugular through me palms. I squeezed tighter. She gasp for breath. I moved down to her ear before whispering, "You are wrong about one thing, I would never kill for you. But I am going to kill you, you see. And I won't feel a thing." Then I squeezed with all my might until a I heard a satisfying crack.

Anne was dead.

I dropped the body just in time to see a swarm of erasers swarm out of the school, Jeb yelling orders.

But when they saw me, they stopped, much to Jeb's surprise.

I smirked as I saw Jeb's panic as they moved out of my way, leaving a wide trail right to him.

He grabbed a tranquilizer gun from one of the nearby erasers. He shot me twice, directly in the chest.

I looked down and smiled as I took the darts out. I started laughing as I looked back at Jeb's shocked face. "That had enough in them to knock out an elephant." I heard him whisper in disbelief.

I only felt a bit dizzy, like if you stand up too fast. Maybe I was invincible after all.

I took another step toward him. "So, tell me Jeb. How does it feel to know, you created your own killer? That your army turned sides? Jeb, you bastard. You are so dead." I took another step forward.

He shot the gun four more times…in my neck.

Okay, maybe I wasn't invincible.

Black started to seep around the edges of my vision. But I couldn't give up now. Jeb was right there. This could all be over if I could just walk in a straight line and get to him.

Four more shots.

I was out.

I felt rough, hairy paws grab me and tie me up before I blanked out.

I guess the dog's found my weakness and ran back to daddy's side.

I'm ganna kill them.


It was the next morning. I had sufficiently reached my talking point with Ig a few days ago, and crashed in Nudge's Mom's room. She was out on business for a couple weeks…lucky me!

I am sitting atop the covers on the mondo sized bed. I had on a pair of Fang's boxers and one of his baggy shirts; I could smell him through the dark fabric. It was calming.

I was staring at the ring Fang had left me.

It wasn't actually a bad ring. I wasn't much of a jewelry girl, but this was…something special.

It was silver and had a decent sized diamond in the center. With two small onyx colored stones on either side. It was beautiful and dark all at once. Just like Fang.

I had been slipping it on and off my left ring finger periodically. But I had to say. I liked it better on.

I slipped it into the right place once more and held it up so I could see it.

I sighed. Why was this such a hard decision? I wanted to be with Fang forever. Why couldn't I then see him married to me?

I always pictured him a loner, but I know he couldn't live without me. Or me him for that matter.

He was always so emotionally unavailable, but I see the way he loves me.

He was a father to the flock, and now he was the father of a new flock. Our own mini-flock.

I stood in front of the floor length mirror, left hand on my still flat stomach, engagement ring sparkling in the synthetic lighting.

And in this brief moment, one simple thing screamed at me.

I looked perfect.

I looked perfect in Fang's clothing, wearing Fang's ring, carrying Fang's child.

I loved him. Isn't that all that really mattered?

Ages didn't matter, names didn't matter, nothing but him and me and our love mattered.

And I did love him. I sure as hell did.

So, I will marry him.

It felt like a two ton weight lifted off my chest with this realization.

I wasn't settling on Fang. I wanted to marry Fang.

And with that thought, I heard a scream as my door flew open. I saw a streak of blonde before I fell back on the bed. Angel was hugging me for all it was worth.

And I hugged right back.

"Oh my god Max!! You and Fang are having a baby! Oh my god! You two were like all our parents, and now some kid actually gets you guys! It's so lucky!!"

I glanced over Angel's head to see Nudge standing in the doorway getting ready to close it. I mouthed a 'Thank You' to her. She shrugged and shut the door behind her as she left.

Halfway through Angel's high pitch squeals she stopped. She sat back on the bed next to me and stared at me intently. I fidgeted under her gaze. Then I saw her eyes flicker to my left hand and a smile spread across her face. "And you are engaged!!" And the hugging began again.

After a few minutes of intense catch up, we finally got down to business. Sorry if I sound impatient. But I would like to speak to my future husband and the father of my child.

"So, do you think you could connect mine and Fang's thoughts for a bit? So I could talk to him?" I asked her in a rush.

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, sure. I just have to find his thoughts first, but then I can connect you two." I nodded and she closed her eyes concentrating. Silence dragged on for minutes until I heard Angel gasp and whimper.

I froze.

She opened her eyes slowly and looked at me with tear stained cheeks. "Max." She whispered. "Fang's dying."

I swear my heart stopped then and there.

Next Chapter: Fang and Max's conversation. A solution to the "How to keep Shadow alive without screwing up Fang's past" dellemia. A surprise about Fang, a meeting...a whole damn lot!!

Review please!

17. These Words Are My Heart And Soul

Story: This story is coming to an end soon. should have 21 chapters, including the prologue and epilogue. I am not planning on a sequel. It would be very hard to make it work with the ending i have in mind.

Disclaimer: I don't claim


"Max." She whispered. "Fang's dying."

I swear my heart stopped then and there.

I watched as Angel's tears dripped down her cheeks. I was frozen to the spot; I could barely comprehend any of this…


Fang was dying…how could this happen!?

He promised. He said he was coming back to me. He has to come back and marry me. He has to be here for me and Shadow…he can't die! I need him.

No, this can't be happening…

I saw what he becomes!! I saw him! How can that…that thing die!?

My lungs start to burn as I realize I haven't taken a breath since I heard of Fang's condition. I gasp for air as the edge of my vision turns black.

No, please. Fang, I need you. Please.

I grab my chest as I feel the edges of the hole burn. I tried to keep my heart from falling to pieces in my hand, shattered and cracked, broken.

I glance back to Angel who is looking at me with fear as more tears stream from her eyes. She is so used to seeing me in control, unbreakable. Now, now she sees the me I turned into since I learned about Fang; the me that breaks down at the thought of losing Fang; the me that I never wanted anyone to see.

My chest tightened.

Was this what Fang felt? Was this how he feels all the time, the loss of someone you love killing you slowly.

No, I can't think like this. Snap out of it Max!! He's not dead yet!

I have to do something. I need to talk to him. I need to hear from him. I need to know it all. I need to fix everything. I need the pain to leave me.

I reach out and grab Angel placing her in my lap. She buried her head in my chest. I whisper words in her ear until she calms down. I take a deep breath.

Please let this work.

"Angel, I need to talk to him. Please." My voice is harsh and gravelly.

She looks up at me and slowly nods. "Okay. But be careful Max. I don't want to lose you in there too."

I could only imagine what it would be like in his mind. It's too much for even Fang himself. How will I survive through it? I need to for him. I close my eyes and picture Fang, 'please be okay. I need you to be okay.'

A moment later I am gasping for breath again as I feel Fang's pain wash over my aching form.

It's worse than I could ever imagine. Weights rest upon my chest. Breathing becomes impossible. Sharp pains periodically shoot through my chest like a bullet, leaving fresh wounds in my already scarred heart. A hole of endless suffering forms in the depths of the pain.

I can feel his need for spilt blood. I can feel his dangerous thoughts run through my head so smooth. Fang's internal voice even better than his eternal. His memories pass by in a flash. His past pain mixing with the present. His thoughts skip from one topic to the next quicker than I can comprehend. My brain can't keep up with his.

I understand why Angel never wanted to come in here.

This way lies the abyss.

I feel a knot form in my stomach as suicidal thoughts run through his head. I see him cutting into his arms. I see the blood leak over is olive skin. I see him looking off the edge of a cliff; feeling him tuck his wings in tighter. I see him watching Romeo with envy as he simply drinks the poison. I see him top off another beer. I see him passed out on his bed, smoke filling the air in his room. I see him staying under the water just a little too long.

Nausea overtakes me as the torture he went through fuels his already dying self. I see him sitting in a chamber listening to the tortured screams of others. I see him biting into his lip trying to hold his screams of pain as they tried clipping his wings. I watch as the bullet puts a hole through is working wings. I watch as another lodges itself in his shoulder. I see his muscles instinctively flex as the electrodes pulse shock waves into him. I see the uneven fights; the pressure to survive; the punishments; the tests. I see his distaste for living through it all.

Finally, I see him from his view, his restrained body on a lab table, at the School. I saw the tubes pushing a purple liquid into Fang's blood stream. The effort it took just for him to move his head almost brought tears to my eyes. He moaned in anguish thinking he was alone. His arm repeatedly flinches as the drugs are pumped into him. He takes a raged breath as he tries to stay awake, fighting the darkness that calls to him; always calling to him.

I sighed and carefully thought to him. Maybe him knowing he wasn't alone would help him, in some way.

"Fang." I saw his eyes shoot open in surprise. He looked around the room in a quick glance. Panic filled his mind.

"Max?" He spoke out loud in a hoarse whisper.

"Shh. It's okay Fang. I'm safe. I'm with Nudge and Iggy. Angel is here, she's connecting our minds so I could talk to you." I paused letting that information process in his mind. "I miss you." I whispered after a moment. I wanted to say so much more than that, but I could feel what Fang was going through, and he could barely keep himself awake to talk to me as it was.

"I miss you too." He breathed out. I smiled as tears raced from my eyes. "I'm sorry Max. I lied to you. I'm so sorry. I failed you."

I shook my head as if he could see it. "No Fang, you didn't fail me. You could never fail me. Shadow and I are fine. But are you okay? What have they done to you?" I tried to go through his mind to find his injuries, or his short term memories. His mind was too jumbled. I pulled out before I got lost in it.

He took a deep breath as a particularly harsh jolt of pain went through him. "Damn tranquilizers. I passed out, they are keeping me in here, and this stuff is draining me, keeping me vulnerable. I'm so sorry Max. I was supposed to save you; instead I might have just ruined everything. I might never see you again."

"Don't say that! You have to come back. We can get you out, I'll fly over there now…"

"NO!" I jumped at the anger in his voice. "You are NOT coming here. You are not going to be put in danger because of me anymore. I will finish this, or die trying. You will be safe. You hear me? Don't come find me. Stay safe."

His little speech took a lot of energy out of him. I could feel his exhaustion. But I wouldn't listen to him. I will not just let him die in there. "Fang, I'm coming for you. And that's the end of this."

"I said NO damn it. Max, they will KILL you, don't you get it? If you don't care about yourself, then at least do it for our daughter. Remember, you die, she dies." He said it like he was repeating something that was lectured at him for years. I felt the tingle of a memory in the back of his head.

I sighed in defeat. I couldn't risk Shadow's life to get Fang back. If we both died, Fang wouldn't keep on living anyway, he'd follow close behind us. I had no doubt about that. "Fang…how are we going to do this? Raise this kid. She ruins your life. She dies in the past. How do we save her if we have no control over anything?"

I felt Fang gulp. "I've heard some stuff while I was here Max. And I have had a lot of time to think. I think I found the other solution to all this. You remember those weird dreams I was having? Well Shadow came to me and told me I was wrong about her death, that I remembered it wrong. And I overheard something that makes me believe these damn white coats might have been screwing with me more than I thought. When Shadow time travels, apparently she leaves her body behind in the time she leaves, and makes a new one where ever she ends up. Max, I don't think shadow died that day. I think she just went back to her real time. I think she knew exactly when she needed to, somehow…almost like, she had to fake dying so it wouldn't mess up the past…like someone told her."

"Like we told her." I whispered. Everything was starting to make sense.

This was all supposed to happen. We aren't supposed to STOP any of it. We are supposed to make sure it DOES happen.

Shadow has to go back in time; otherwise Fang would never get his emotions, and would be the School's killer. He would never meet me, or if he did, it would be to kill me, and he would without a second thought.

But Shadow did go back. So he did get his emotion. He did meet me. We are having Shadow for a reason. She brings out the emotion in him. Emotion that hurts him for years, but emotion he needs to be Fang.

If we have Shadow and we tell her exactly what to do when she goes back, and exactly when to come back, she would be alive, and Fang would be Fang.

We would have our second chance.

But to do this, I need Fang alive.

"Fang, I..I think I know how to fix all this. But I need you to get out of there."

"Don't you think I would have if I could?" he asks in disbelief of what I am asking of him. "I mean really, what do you think I have been trying to do? Do you think I want to be a lab experiment? Do you think I never want to see you again?

"Why don't you go all 'Power Mode?'" I suggested.

I could feel his tension at the mention of that.

"Max. I can't do that."

"Yes you can Fang. We talked about this. It isn't evil, it's just powerful. Use it when you have too. And right now you have too."

"No." Fang's anger started to build up. "I said I can't Max. Okay? For once just listen to me. I know what I am talking about. Stop acting like you understand everything." There was a moment of silence. I think I just felt my heart tear a little. I had to remember, he warned me about this…this isn't who he wants to be. I felt the anger dissipate, and him sigh again. "I'm sorry Max. I didn't mean that. I just can't do it. Really."

"Please Fang." I whispered to him. "I need you. Shadow needs you. And right now…you're dying."

Fang's surprise was all I could feel at the moment. "What? I'm not dying Max. I'm not that physically hurt. I'm fine."

I sighed. "No Fang. I can feel it. Something in you, it's killing you slowly."

"No. I'm not dying, they need me, and they wouldn't kill me this easily. Well, Jeb anyway. That damn bastard. I was so close to ending his life permanently, just like Anne's."

"You killed her?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes." I couldn't feel an ounce of regret in him. This thing is more apart of his normal self than I thought. The need for blood brings out his cutting. But I didn't understand that it works with his mind too…he really is a killer.

No. I shook my head of those thoughts. Fang is NOT a killer. He's a savior. My protector. He only took their lives because they were going to take his girlfriend's and his daughter's…they were going to take his whole reason for living away.

Fang grew up with different morals than the rest of us. I had to remember that his thoughts are going to be dark. He was taught to think of the School's enemies as his own, but he is a good person. He isn't what they wanted, but his thoughts are understandable. He thinks killing his enemies is second nature. He thinks it's the right thing. He thinks killing could be the right thing to do. It's just how he is; it's how he was taught to be. I should be glad he is on my side at least.

I felt another shot of pain run up his spine. I could feel the poison draining his energy, his life.

"Fang. I love you."

"Love you more." He mumbled.

"No possible way. But for this, I need you to live and come back to me, please. You have to understand, I can feel what you are feeling, and you are dying."

"It's not me that's dying Max. It's my power."

"Wait..what?" I stuttered out. How can a power die? And how was he supposed to win if he didn't have the advantage anymore?

"It's the drugs they are putting in me. It weakens me; they are taking away the threat. They are taking away half of me."

"How are you going to get out then?" I voiced my worry.

"I don't think I am Max." I couldn't believe he was just giving up so easily. How could he just accept his life was to end there and now? "Not for a while anyway. But I can't leave here with Jeb still alive either way. Don't worry, I'm not completely useless. Once the threat is gone, I will get my normal strength back, I will still have my conjuring power. I will get out of here sometime. I will make sure you both are safe, and I will come and love you…"

"And you will come marry me." I whispered.

I felt Fang smile wide. "Really?" he asks.

"Of course Fang. I need you. I love you. Please come back to me."

"I promise. But I need you to be somewhere safe, for you and the baby. Please, go back to Mr. Martinez's. She can help with the pregnancy, and the baby. And you love it there. And I will know you are in good hands when it is time for me to come home. If I come home."

I shut my eyes together trying to keep that thought from my mind. "You will come back Fang. I'll make sure you come back to me. But for right now, you're right. I need to keep myself safe. Shadow needs to be safe. I'll be there waiting for you. Come back to me. This isn't goodbye; this is see you later, got it?" Just then I could see a white coat enter the room Fang was in. His eyes widened in fear. "Fang what is it? What's going to happen to you?"

"Leave Max. Please, you don't need to see anymore of this. Please keep safe. Love you."

And with that, his mind went blank.

I opened my eyes slowly and found four faces staring at me. I smiled up at them sadly. "He'll be fine," I told my flock, trying to convince myself at the same time.

I noticed for the first time that Gazzy was also in the room. I smiled at him and he came over and gave me a hug. "It's good to see you." I said to him.

"You to Max. So you and Fang are having a baby? That's cool," he stated nonchalantly, but I could tell he was excited about it.

I laughed at him. "Okay, so who wants to fly me back across the states?"

Fang POV

I was exhausted, and alone. Max's voice left my conciseness leaving me aching more than I was before.

The drugs pumping through me left my veins on fire, crying out as the poison erases half my DNA. My lungs burn as I take short, ragged breaths. I'm afraid to let myself sleep, afraid I won't wake up if I do.

I moan as another jolt of searing pain runs through my heart, almost making it stop.

I see the white coat glance at me in interest. I glare at him menacingly. "What are you looking at?" I growl at him.

He walks over to the bag holding the purple liquid, putting up a new bag. He scribbles something down on his clipboard and walks over to me. He reaches a hand out to me. I bite it. He yelps and pulls back quickly.

He writes more down. "Experiment F756w90 seizes with teeth…"

"Fang bites. Who would have thunk it huh?" I state to him.

He glares down at me. "You are much stronger than we first thought. We won't make that same mistake twice. I would be careful if I were you."

"Well I guess it's a good thing your not."

"You are just lucky we haven't killed you yet. You do realize we are giving you one last chance before giving you the death sentence. Personally I think you are a waste of resources. But Jeb thinks you are the key to saving the world. He plans on talking to you, but you are much more resistant than we thought."

"I'll kill him if he so much as looks at me. You understand that? Pass that on to your little master. I'm going to fucking kill him."

He taps his pen on the clipboard a few times before sighing. "He warned us this would happen." I watch as he calmly walks over to a set of drawers and pulls out a syringe.

My aching muscles tighten, my jaw clenches shut. "Stay away from me."

He ignores me and walks foreword. I can hear my heart beat start to race on the monitor the closer he gets to me. "I said stay away form me. Unless you and the rest of you freaky white coats want to end their life prematurely."

He walks over the me and places the shot into the intravenous tube. I hold my breath as the dark green liquid slowly runs up the clear piping into my arm. My arm starts shaking the moment it enters my system. My eyes slam closed. My teeth grind I try to stop myself from crying out. My whole body starts seizing, as I feel it pump through my heart. It hurt so much. It felt like I was hit by lightening over and over and over in a never ending pattern. My nails dig into my palms drawing blood.

"You won't be able to fight back anymore. You are going to be weak. You will work for us, or it's over. And we will catch Experiment M8345459, and the child inside her. You have no choice anymore."

I open my eyes in my last effort. "Fucking Bastard." I breathe as the edges of my vision turn black. I can't fight it this time. I pass out.


What was he THINKING?

Going to Dr. Martinez's? I mean, I only have to tell her I'm pregnant, even after she warned us about this.

I mean she is like my mom. She is the closest thing I ever had to one. And now I have to tell her, I, at age 15, am pregnant and engaged with a missing Fang.

It's bad enough I had to tell the flock myself. It's bad enough he is not here. It's bad enough I am missing him more as time goes by. It's bad enough I can't go after him even though I know exactly where he is. It's bad enough I don't know what they are doing with him.

It's bad enough I fell in love with him.

The guys have already flown me to the Martinez's house. We had our goodbyes. They are on their way back home.

And I am freaking out on the front porch.

"Okay Max. Just do it. Go in. They wanted to see you again soon, remember? And Ella already wanted to be in the wedding. They already knew we were sleeping together…this can't be too much of a shock. Max come on. Just go in. They will be happy for you. If you just explain the situation she won't even be mad at Fang! Just go in…uhh. Really though what am I supposed to say? 'Oh hey, I know you told us to be careful, but too late! Fang knocked me up!' no…how about 'Hey! Sorry to just drop in like this, but I had no where else to go. You see Fang is off killing people that is after us, and we are going to get married! Oh and by the way I'm pregnant.'"

"You're what?" I froze as I heard the voice of Dr. Martinez.

CRAP! I have got to stop ranting to myself out loud!

I turn slowly around to face a shocked Dr. M with the front door wide open.

"Max?" She pushes.

"Hey! What's up? I didn't see you there." I hysterically ramble.

Put me in a fight against 100 erasers and I don't break a sweat. Tell my mother like figure I'm pregnant, and I sound like that.

"Max." She says a little more sternly.

I sigh defeated. "I didn't want you to find out like this. I'm so sorry. I know what you told us, but it happened anyway. I can explain. Really."

Her eyes narrow. "Where is he?"

My eyebrows shoot up. "What? No! This isn't his fault!"

"Then where is he? Did he leave you!?" I could almost see her plans on killing Fang run through her head.

I spoke up quickly. "He didn't leave because he wanted to! Really he's coming back! Please just let me explain. We need your help."

She composed herself rather quickly and ushered me inside. "I'm sorry. I overreacted Max. This is none of my business, I just care so much for you. I don't want things to be harder on you. And I just couldn't comprehend why this would happen to you of all people. I know you love each other. I saw it when you were here, I mean the way he looked after you, the way he cares; you would never find anyone better for you. It's just, you are so young…"

"Please, Dr. M. We don't know, 15 for us might be like 45 for a normal human. We don't know how long we will live. And we do love each other. But this is way bigger than anyone could have thought."

"I don't understand."

I sighed. "This will take a while."

And over the next hour I explained everything in detail to Dr. M. We needed her help with this. We needed her to understand the importance of Shadow to Fang. I needed her to understand just what Fang is going through. I need her to help me save him, save us.

After I was done, she did the last thing I expected.

She saved me from a darkness that was starting to overwhelm me.

She hugged me hard, and took me to her office for an ultrasound, and a check up to make sure things are okay…with the Avian-American I am to give birth to in 9 months. She didn't mention Fang in fear it would upset me more. She promised to keep me safe. She promised Fang would be back.

She lied.

Even though I knew none of the things she said could possibly be true, it was nice to hear all the same.

She took care of me and gave me a place to live. And for a week, I was in bliss. Well as much as I could be without Fang next to me.

But we all know how good things come to a horrifyingly sudden end.

And it did.

Fang POV

Have you ever been so out of your mind you can't move your body? You can see everything happening around you; hear all the voices float through your mind; understand all the danger you are in, but you can't lift a finger to stop it.

That's how I felt now. My last ounce of energy was taken from me. I felt useless. I was nothing. I couldn't do anything to move, let alone save my family.

I was no longer a threat to them.

I was just another one of the flock. I was a freak with wings; a power to make anything I thought of real; a depressed mate. I was nothing.

I had no strength. I had no fight left.

But still, I couldn't just give up. I had to protect them. I would do anything for Max, for Shadow.

Max, I wish you were with me.

I wish I could feel you next to me, kissing me, telling me I would be okay. Telling me you would save me. I wish I could hold you and keep you safe. I wish we could fall into a world all our own, where nothing but us matters, where we could do anything, be anyone we wished.

I wish loving you was the right thing to do.

But I swear, no matter what happens to me. I will keep you safe. You will live on free from worry.

Maybe free from me.

Max, I will protect you. Even if that means the end of me.

Next Chapter: A reunion, a surprise, pain, gore, breakdown.

Review please! I said please. that means you have to do it. hehe...

18. Beat and Broken

I'm real sorry for not getting this up sooner. I know people have been waiting. I had writers block for the very next scene and the idea just came to a few nights ago. Also, I am just starting to write two critical papers for school, to I will not be able to update for a while. I'm sorry.

Anonymous reviewers: please leave some way for me to contact you! Especially if you have multiple reviews so I can thank you and talk about said reviews. Or and Pm's who tell me to hurry with the next chapter, leave a way for me to contact you! Then I can explain my plan and tell you what is going on.

Help: I want to rewrite the first few chapters that are real short. I don't think the writing style goes well with the rest of the story. But I want your HONEST opinion please. Tell me if u would like to see them redone or if you think they are fine how they are. Please tell me. I will be finishing the story before these revisions however, so no worries about that.

Warning: This chapter is slightly more mature than others, but not ridiculously. Lots of innuendos. And has a lot of cursing.

Status of Story: This chapter was originally going to include a lot more. But I was only at the first major part of the original chapter and was at 5,000 words. So I decided I needed to split the chapter up into 3 parts. This is the first part. There will be two more chapters, possibly three. And an epilogue.

Disclaimer: Not Mine

Fang Pov

Drip. Drip.


Drip. Drip. Drip.


I swear to whatever holy deity that exists, that the moment I get out of here, I will shove a fucking dripping IV into Jeb and make him suffer this bizarre torture.


Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!

Drip. Drip.

My fist clenched in its restraint as I watch the dark green liquid pour into my forearm. The transformation ended as few hours ago. Dr. Shock Therapy, or as I have come to know him as, switched drugs to keep my conjuring power under control now that my strength is back. But fuck, I would take my heart almost stopping over this constant dripping noise making me go fucking insane!

Drip. Drip.

I tried blocking the noise from my consciousness. I took a deep calming breath and retreated into the confines of my mind, the one place I can escape to. I sat for a moment and just let my body feel. I have blocked so much physical pain and experiences since I have been here, I haven't had time to asses the damage done.

My body was still tired, but I can overcome that when I need to. My lungs sting slightly with every intake of breath, and my heart burns with each pump, I'm sure from the electric shocks I've been receiving for 'speaking out of line.' I swear sometimes I think they want me to hate them.

My left arm has a familiar ache to it. I open my eyes a slit to glance at my exposed skin. The scars were healing. I never understood why, but this fact always brought me great distress. I always had to 'clean them up' a bit. I saw how some of them were smooth to the touch now; how in some the blood red color was turning back into my skin color; how some disappeared into my arm as if they were never there to begin with. I would have to fix that.

My eyes shut quickly. I take another deep breath. No. I do not have to be this way. I can be healthy. I can be happy. I don't need to be in pain to feel content. I don't need to be a cutter. I can live without this burden.

But even as I repeated it to myself, I wasn't sure if what I was saying was true or not. I can't remember back to before I was like this. I can't remember how I lived. I don't want to go back to that comatose state I was in before I found a way to deal. I don't know how to live without being this screwed up.

I sigh and open my eyes slowly. I need to get my mind off these thoughts before something even worse happens to my psychological state.

Drip. Drip.


It was cold and dark in my room. Even though I could not see it, I could feel the sun setting outside these thick walls. I looked down slowly to see the green liquid still pumping away. My worst nightmare, needles and cages, seemed to be my reality.

Being here always makes me go slightly insane. I always manage to find myself in this room, out of all places. My chamber, my execution room, my home. The walls are still stained crimson from my rebellious days. Everywhere I turn I see a flash of a past memory, a past pain.

I can see myself when I was younger, defiant and dangerous. I only got worse as time went, but even at 4' 5'' I was something to be feared. I remember liking when the fights started. I knew they wouldn't beat me, and it was something I could do to quell the aching need for blood that was always with me. I never took it too far however. I knew where to draw the line. I was not going to be the reason someone was no longer allowed to live, but I wasn't about to let them get away with hurting others.

I'm sure if it wasn't for Shadow, and later Max, that I would have turned into exactly the person I have fought so hard to destroy. The white coats would have won. I would have been brainwashed into their perfect killing machine. Max and the flock would be dead, along with millions of people. I would be the enemy.

But me being here is for the best.

If I am here, Max is not. If I am in pain, Max will be safe. If I am tortured, Max is far away. If Max is safe, then Shadow is safe. If I hurt, I save them.


My muscles tense as I hear a noise outside the steel door. I watch as the red light above the door turns green with a slight beep. My jaw clenches as I watch Jeb and Dr. Shock enter the room. They leave the door slightly open, but I can't see out of it. Through the fogged glass of the one small window in the door, I see the silhouette of someone waiting just outside the door.

I glared as the scientists strayed closer to me. They stop a few feet from the metal table I am strapped to and talk in whispered voices. Of course these scientists are incredibly stupid and forgot I can hear them a lot easier than normal humans.

"So the treatment successfully erased all traces of the threat, correct?"

"Yes Jeb."

"His other power is under control?"

"Yes Jeb."

"Have you found her yet?"

"Not yet. Since Anne was the only one with access codes to that part of the chip, we haven't been able to track her as easily. From her stats in flying levels however, we can assume she is somewhere in the southwest. I don't understand why she would be so close to us however. Maybe she is trying to rescue him?"

"She would not take the risk. She knows that he would never forgive her if something happened to her, or the kid. No. She's not coming here. She's waiting for him."

"You know I can hear everything you are saying right?" I stated to them in a 'duh you idiots' voice.

They turned to me quickly. Dr. Shock glared at me, trying to be menacing. I just smile up at him and watch in satisfaction as his jaw clenches in anger.

Jeb comes in between his view of me and walks the next few steps to the bed. "Ah, Fang. Finally some decent words coming out of your mouth."

"Fuck off Jeb." I growl at him as he reaches for the IV in my hand.

He sighs and freezes for a moment. "You know if you just cooperated for once in your life, you wouldn't have to go through this."

"But then I wouldn't have the satisfaction of pissing off you damn white coats would I?"

He ignores my statement and continues to the IV and slips it out. My fingers tingle as they get used to having just blood pump through them. I just look up at Jeb with a smirk. IDIOT! He just signed his death certificate. I close my eyes and let the image of my knife enter my vision. I feel the power run through my veins, trying to burst through to reality. My smirk grows. Just a little bit more now. I feel the power build up in my palms. Then I release the energy.

My eyes shoot open.

Nothing happened.

I look down at my empty hand in astonishment. I try to release the energy again.


"That's not going to work Fang. Your powers won't return for another twelve hours. That is plenty of time for us to do our tests and decide your fate."

Okay, maybe Jeb wasn't as stupid as I thought. I glare up at him as he tapes up my hand to keep it from bleeding. As he checks me over for any missed injuries, I notice his eyes stray to my forearm. He pauses for a moment then reaches out to get a better look at my scars.

I roughly pull my arm closer to my body and growl at him.

He stops, looks at my eyes glaring daggers at him, then takes a step back.

He turns to Dr. Shock, "Call in Ethan." He pushed a button on his beeper.

In the next moment the door swung open and in came the one person I never wanted to see again.

My breathing became heavier and my pupils dilated in my anger. My muscles tensed and my teeth clashed together. The metal of my restraints dug into my skin as I pulled against them trying to get to him. I heard growling and a ripping noise resonating against the cement walls, then realized it was originating from me.

He just smirked and closed the door behind him. He walked over to Jeb and handed him a box.

I continued to try to get at him. Curses spilled from my mouth. My brain was not comprehending my actions. All I knew was that I had to get my hands around that fucking dog's throat and kill the son of a bitch for good this time.

Because apparently the first time didn't stick.

It was him. The eraser that started this all. The one that 'killed' Shadow. The one that made me the murderer I was so obviously destined to be. They fucking brought him back. They fucking saved him from death. They fucking had to screw me over more didn't they?

I felt as my power kept repeatedly hitting the block set up to keep it at bay. I wasn't getting help from any weapon for another twelve hours. But that didn't stop me.

I didn't stop for anything. Even as I felt the thick liquid of my blood running down my skin. Even as my head started to get lightheaded from the blood loss. Even as I saw Jeb come towards me with a needle. Even as I felt the light prick of said needle going into my skin. I did not stop.

I fought the calming waves of the drugs for as long as I could, but soon the noises ceased, the digging metal in my wrists was relieved, my breathing returned to normal, and all I could do to the bastard was glare at him with hate.

Jeb seemed to be satisfied with my state now and returned his attention to the box Ethan brought in for him. My eyes never left the dogs sickening face. Only when the glint of metal caught my eye did I look away. Jeb was unloading needle upon needle of different liquids. He set a tape recorder next to them and pulled a chair up next to me.

I began to close in upon myself as I realized what was about to happen. I was going to be interrogated. I was going to talk; otherwise I was going to loose a lot more than my sanity.

Jeb pushed record and I heard the cassette start going. I closed my eyes tight and tried to block out all that was going on around me. I would not talk. No matter what they put me through. I will not give them any information. I will not give them the satisfaction. I will not give them the ones I love.

I would rather die.

I distantly heard Jeb stating my vitals and experiment number. Then he turned his attention to me.

"Fang, we are just going to ask you a few questions, and if you just answer them honestly, we will not be forced to hurt you."

My eyes stayed clenched shut. I will not help them. My comfort is not worth Max's life. My life is not worth Max's life.

"Don't think we won't do this Fang. We can do whatever we want to you right now. Because once we succeed in killing Shadow, none of this would have happened."

My breathing froze for a split second before starting again.

Anything they want?

I wondered just how much pain they expected me to be able to take. Just because I can inflict it upon myself, does not mean I can take unimaginable quantities of it now. I am not invincible. I will die.

I heard Jeb sigh and then I felt movement over the other side of my body. My eyes shot open just in time to see a newly transformed Ethan latch onto my right arm. I hissed in pain as I felt his teeth scrape across my bone. My hands clenched, ready to pound that fucker's face in. But when I took my swing the metal restraints just cut into my already open wounds. I groaned and pushed myself farther into the table.

Just don't think about it Fang. You have done worse to yourself. Yeah but my pride has never been this shot before. I've never been this helpless. I couldn't even make sure her killer stayed dead.

I felt Ethan finally pull out his teeth from my arm and step away form the table. I just glanced over to Jeb, and then looked back up at the ceiling.

He cleared his throat and continued. "Should we try this again?"

"Do your worst Jeb. I'm never going to talk." I spat at him. "I'll die before I lead you to them."

"Oh, I already have that information Fang."

"I know you don't. I heard you talking about it remember. I'm not morally above eves dropping you know."

"Now Fang, really. Do you honestly think I do not know where Max is? Do you really think Anne was the only one with those codes? I'm the only thing keeping her safe at the moment, but that could all change any second now."

I studied his set face out of the corner of my eye. "You're bluffing." My voice was level and steady, but on the inside I was practically pleading with whoever was supposed to be watching over me that it was not true. Please don't let it be that all of this suffering was for nothing, that all I did was hand myself over to them and leave Max and Shadow vulnerable.

"Oh really? Well I happen to know she is closer than we thought she would be. In the state actually." He quickly glances behind him at Dr. Shock who was pissed from being out of this bit of information. He moved over so he could whisper into my ear. "With a certain Dr. Martinez?" My breath caught in my throat. He moved back to his spot in his chair. "Now would you like to answer some questions?"

I glared at him with more hate than anything. "If you hurt her…"

"You'll what? Kill me? Haven't you already tried that, and failed?"

"I won't kill you Jeb."

"You won't?"

"I'll murder you. Slow and painful. I'll make you beg for death. I'll make you wish you never thought of fucking with me. You have no idea what you're doing Jeb. I'll fucking murder you." My voice was dripping with venom, but never rose above a whisper.

I watched in satisfaction as Jeb sat frozen for a split second before taking a deep breath, "I'm sick of these threats Fang. It's time you learned your lesson." I was slightly surprised when he did not reach for a needle but instead turned his attention to Ethan. "Keep an eye on him." He said. "We will return in a minute." I heard the door click shut as the scientists left the room. I was pretty damn sure my little speech was about to cost me.

I moved my eyes over to the eraser grinning manically down at me. I didn't flinch as he dragged a claw across my already bleeding arm. He laughed to himself as he did it again. "Never thought it was going to be this easy to hurt you, Almighty Fang."

I just stared up at him.

"I've got to say, the years have changed you, and I'm not talking about your looks, although I know some female erasers that would love to take a ride on you before your time is up." A growl erupted from my chest. "Oh that's right. You have your girl. Who would have thought? Fang in love. What a fucking nightmare." His claws dug into my side. "Hmm…you lost your touch. It's not as much fun when you don't fight back."

"Then why don't you fuck off Ethan?"

"Oh." He chucked. "I didn't say it lost all pleasure." He quickly grabbed my neck and held my face an inch from his. I could feel his disgusting breath crawl across my skin. "You know some of us used to look up to you. You let us all down Fangy boy. You grew soft." He spit the word out like it was something dirty. "You grew weak and yet they kept you up on that pedestal like you were some sort of God send. But we knew better. We could see who you really were, a fucking traitor. A failed experiment that just happened to be able to keep himself alive." He roughly pushed my head down into the metal slab behind me. "And to think, all their efforts are wasted on you. Still after seven years all they can think about is you. All they want is you! They don't even notice the ones who fucking beat you."

"What do you care? You got what you wanted!"

"You think I wanted Death? You killed me!"

"You killed her first!"

"They were proud of you for murdering me!"

"You were brought back."

"Doesn't mean it was me they wanted! It was all about you! Always about you!"

"Fuck man! I was gone, and I was never coming back. You got what you wanted! You got your precious spot with your masters."

"YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT WE WANT? You think that's all we crave for?! Power and positions. Blood, blood, and more blood. All we could ever look forward to is death! Well I got news for you. We're not so different, me and you. We are both family men here." My face was blank of all emotion, but my mind was frozen in shock. Erasers…with families? "What did you think? That the Avian's were the only ones who were capable of such lives? We are ninety-eight percent human too if you have forgot. We love, we lust. We have children, there just happens to be a genetic mutation in Lupine children that makes them undesirable to the scientists, but that does not mean we don't have them. We have thoughts and wants. We don't want to be fucking trapped here our whole lives. But this is where we are most valuable. This is where our families are most safe. This is where we wait for our chance to rule. And we will rule, Fang. And the only thing that can screw that up is you."

I just sat back and watched as he dug his claws back over the marks he already made. I could barely feel it. He was going to have to do a lot more than that to break me. He of all erasers knew he could not hurt me. The only weakness I had was my family. I always hated how they categorized my life like that. Strength: advantage; feelings: weakness; anger: advantage; opinions: weakness. Anything that made me human was considered a weakness that must be suppressed, or destroyed. I was supposed to have the instincts of a predator and the logic of a human.

They did not even think about what would happen if I started to love; if I fell in love. I guess they forgot about that human trait, or they thought it as impossible as one of their specimens braking out. And we all know how both of them turned out.

The Flock and I always thought we were the only ones to keep human characteristics out of all the experiments. But I wasn't so sure about that anymore. As I looked up at Ethan, I saw anger and hate, envy and pride, strategy and determination, and what shocked me the most, love and lust; all of the most human traits I could think of. We always thought of the erasers as bloodthirsty predators, but wasn't that also what I was? What I am? And as this eraser stood in front of me all I could think of was how much more I resembled him than anyone else. How much more I resembled Ethan than Max.

She was pure, I was mutilated. She was light, I was dark. She was an angel, I was a demon. She protected others, I put them in danger. She was a caring lover, I was a bloodthirsty monster. She was the prey, I was the predator. She was perfect, I was scarred.

As I lay there and the realization of this washed over me, I could do nothing to stop myself from believing everything he was telling me. I could only see how wrong I had been all these years. I hated the erasers more than anyone because I was so afraid of how much of myself I saw in them.

Of course, them trying to take us down all these years only helped agitate me further. But just because the erasers were after us, it does not mean they are with the white coats. They too just want to be free and have lives. But the only problem was they did not see the School as the threat. They see the threat as me.

"Everyone knows that we can't actually hurt you, no matter how much we want to. You just don't feel the pain like most people. You're so screwed up you know that? I mean fuck man, cutting yourself? That's some hardcore shit right there. Even the most screwed up eraser wouldn't think to do that. You're so broken it's pathetic. And yet, here you are. Still alive. Still fighting. You went through years of wanting nothing more than your own end. You tried almost everything to off yourself. You tried everything to make yourself forget. You were your own worse enemy Fang. And yet, here you fucking are. All we want is for you to be out of our way! And you just kept coming back! Even after everything, you would always win! But we learned Fang. We know how to hurt you now. The one way to hurt you. I was proof that it works. Hurt the ones you love, you hurt twice as much. I mean you fucking gave up fighting your dark side at a chance to kill me. Your weakness is yourself, Fang. The way you beat yourself up over it all, the way you think it is your own entire fault, the way you hurt yourself for it, the way you would die for her, for them. That's what we can hurt you with. We hurt her, we hurt you. You are not going to win this one Fang."

My eyes were clamped shut, trying to get rid of the images he was forcing back at me. "You're never going to touch her!" I ground out.

"Oh I'm going to touch her all right. Boy will I touch her; I mean damn she's hot, even for a freak. I'll capture her, and touch her in all right ways, or wrong depending on how you look at it. And then when you hear her screaming my name, you will be begging me to kill her and I will, right in front of you."

"I'm going to kill you." My voice was foreign even to me. It was something out of the nightmares. Dark, Deadly.

"Been there. Done that."

"This time it will stick. I'll make sure of it." My voice held a strong promise to it.

He just smirked down at me, gaze never wavering. I distantly heard the door crack open again and felt the presence of Jeb come back up next to the bed. I ignored him and kept my hatred flowing toward Ethan.

"These wounds weren't here before," I heard Jeb accuse. "Ethan, what did I tell you about attacking without consent?"

"Sorry Jeb." He replied without taking his eyes off my stiff form. He did not sound sorry one bit.

I just heard Jeb sigh and move over to stand beside me. Only when I heard the sound of metal clinking together did I take my eyes off the eraser. My emotional mask almost broke as I saw what he was unloading.

Tools of all kinds. All with sharp edges. All with the ability to do major damage to my avian body. All for the sole use of amputation. He set each tool down with great care and as the glint of metal crossed my eye I froze in terror.

I started pulling on my restraints with energy I did not know I possessed. Panic slowly started taking over my form as I realized just what was about to happen to me. I knew I was in for a lot of pain, but never did I think Jeb would take it this far.

Other than my family, there is only one other thing in this world that I cared about. My wings. Jeb knew how much they meant to me; how much need I saw in being able to fly. He knew I would do just about anything for my wings. And he was about to do one of the most painful things he could to me.

I was about to lose my wings.

I watched as he came over with a large knife, making his intentions clear. I tried backing away from him, but the chains kept me from moving very far. He pushed a button on the underside of the table and the chains started to get smaller and retract into the metal. I couldn't move my arms and legs more than an inch now. I started lifting my head and torso in an attempt to pull my wings behind me. Jeb reacted quickly and him and Dr. Shock held them out. I started thrashing my body desperately trying to find a way out of this. Jeb nodded to Ethan and he roughly pushed me down, and held me against the table.

And then the searing pain came. I've gone through more pain in my life than you could imagine. I have broken every bone in my body at least twice. I have been electrocuted. I have been drowned to unconsciousness. I have run to a point past exhaustion. I have cut myself for years. I have been stabbed, shot and beaten. I have almost died on more than one occasion, but this was a whole new kind of pain.

As I felt the blade carelessly slice into the tendons connecting my wings to my back. I let out a cry of anguish. My voice was deep and painful. It blended together with a growl that was building up in my chest as it bounced off the walls returning to my ears.

I thrashed on the table, moving my wings, trying anything to get out of here, to stop this torture. Jeb just yelled for some more erasers to come restrain me. They had ten erasers come in and grab various parts of my body to keep me still. Jeb returned to his work and dug into my skin again. My muscles were all strained; my head thrown back, my eyes clenched shut. Tears squeezed their way through my shut eyes and silently ran down my cheek. I let out another cry as I felt Jeb peel the skin away from my bone.

There was a slight pause in his hacking where I managed to open my eyes a slit. My left wing lay limp at my side, my once beautiful feathers soaked in crimson. He came back with a saw and I shut my eyes again in protest against the pain. I smashed my head back against the metal table trying to stop the sound of sawing bone from reaching my ears.

There was another pause, and I heard a light clump on the floor next to me. I didn't have to open my eyes to know what that sound was. My beautiful wing, part of my life was just dumped onto the floor as a useless piece of meat.

My breathing was coming in short erratic breaths. My throat burned with unshed tears once I admitted defeat. There was no way out of this. A thousand images flashed across my eyes as I realized what I would never have again.

I would never again experience the thrill of jumping off the edge of a cliff and freefalling only to spread my wings at the last second. I'll never be able to feel that first rush of adrenaline as I take off from the ground. I would never be able to know the thrill of flying through the cloud and coming out soaking wet. I would not be able to feel the wind through my feathers, or feel the sun on my skin. I would not be able to soar above the world and get away. Never again will I be flapping my wings in unison with the flock as we all became one soul. I'll never be able to soar with the hawks, or scare off a couple of human males that are threatening Max. I would never again be able to catch Max as she fell from a brain attack, or carry her as she was passed out from exhaustion from the previous attack. Never again will I feel Max's soft feathers brush my own with each down stroke. I would never be able to watch Max fly with her face glowing with freedom. I would not be able to show Shadow the wonders of the air.

I will never again fly, escape from the world, or be part of the Flock. I will no longer be Fang.

My heartbeat started to race as each thought grew progressively worse. My eye sight began to get blurry, and I could no longer comprehend the sounds around me. Blackness started to overcome me. And I welcomed it like never before. Anything to escape this hurt.

Then the pain started again. I was quickly brought back to reality as Jeb started carving up my right wing. My yelling got increasingly worse as he jaggedly cut my wings from my body. I screamed every curse ever uttered as he carelessly dug, and ripped, and cut, and tore. I felt the blood staining my skin run like a river across my body.

Then with a light thump, the pain started to ease. Once again my shouts ceased, and my breathing was shallow. I felt the erasers holding me down let go. I opened my eyes slowly, they were slightly blinded for a minute before they got used to the light. I glanced over to my left and saw to my great horror two wings. Wings once a major part of my body, once beautiful and powerful, sitting useless in a pool of blood; the feathers all ruffled and out of place. I went to lie back against the table as I realized my own exhaustion, but the moment my back hit the metal a searing pain erupted. I let out a cry and quickly arched my back to where it was before. I looked over my shoulder and was met with nothing but air and blood. I tried to move the muscles that previously controlled my wings. I hissed in pain as I felt what was left of my wings twitch slightly.

I could not believe this happened. First I lose the evil half of who I was, and then they take the only part that left me feeling connected to Max.

My breathing was still heavy as my gaze slowly went to Jeb. I almost flinched at the sight of my blood covering his white coat. I just looked up at him incredulously. How could the man I once looked up to as a father just take my life away from me?

"I'm sorry it had to be like this Fang. But maybe now you will learn."

I just turned my head away form him and shut my eyes tight. Don't listen Fang. Think of anything else. I brought a picture of Max to the front of my mind. Her beautiful image calmed my stressed body. Her radiant smile warming my heart. Her laughter filling my ears. Her wonderful scent filling my senses. Her lush lips pressed against my own crackled ones. Her soft skin pressed against my scarred body. Her soft hair running through my fingertips. Her soft breath blowing across my face as she tells of her love for me. A small smile crosses my lips as I think of her asleep in my arms after a night of making love. I would give almost anything to have that again.

But I'm here for a reason. They can not win.

I hear Jeb ask me a question. I ignore him and continue to take in the beauty of my Max.

I'm roughly pulled back to earth as a fist connects with my skull. I can already feel my right eye start to swell as I open my eyes a slit to see another furry paw coming towards me. My head forcefully snaps to the side with the contact. A metallic taste fills my mouth, and I continually spit to remove the blood. I feel a blow to my stomach at that time and I begin to cough, crimson coming up out of my lungs. Then a furry paw grabs my hair and forces my head in the direction of Jeb.

My eyes are heavy, and I can feel my body start to shut down. I fight consciousness with every pound of my heart.

"Are you ready to cooperate now Fang?"

I just stare up at him through my half lidded eyes.

He nods to himself and takes a step forward. "Are you going to make sure Max does not have this child Fang?"

I open my mouth to speak but only a garbled noise comes out. Jeb patiently waits as I clear my throat a few times and answer in a gruff voice. "Never."

Jeb takes a step back in shock. "Excuse me?"

I breathlessly whisper out my answer again. "Never."

He looks down at me with anger, but none of it comes through his steady voice. "Why is she this important to you Fang? Was she worth your power? Your wings? Is she worth your life Fang? Because that is just about what your giving."

"Love her." I mumbled out, the darkness starting to pull me in.

"You think your girlfriend's life is worth more than yours Fang?"

I sighed and coughs racked my body. "Not girlfriend." I told him.

"She's not?" he asked slightly curious.

I just shook my head no.

"Is she your fiancée?" he asked.

Again, I just shook my head no.

"Wife? Sister? Friend?"

I shook my head no again, the darkness closing in.

"Then what is she Fang?"

With my last surge of strength I look up at him and smile. "She's all of them together. She's my mate. My angel. My other half. She's everything. You can do whatever you want to me Jeb. I'll never let you hurt her again." I saw him frown just a moment before the blackness overcame me.

Fang POV (Few hours later)

I woke up in a cell with a start. My body ached and screamed for me to go back to unconsciousness. I looked down at my mangled body. My chest was bloody and scraped up. My lungs burned with every breath. I scanned my new scars with hatred. One particularly painful one reopened every few minutes with my breath. I followed it slowly with my eyes as it went across my once impressive set of abs, down past my hip and disappearing into my torn up sweats. God I was a fucking mess.

I rested my head back against the cool cement floor and scanned the room I was in. It was a small room with a mattress in the middle. I was thrown carelessly against the far wall, which had a mirror across its surface. As I saw my reflection I frowned. My eyes went to check my back, and I frowned more when I couldn't see it. I took a few deep breaths preparing myself to sit up. I groaned as I slowly raised myself off the ground. My muscles screamed in protest as I sat up. I sat upright for a few minutes catching my breath. God I felt pathetic, I couldn't even sit up without needing a few minutes of rest.

After my body went back to normal, and the pain of sitting up dissipated, I carefully prepared myself. I took a deep breath and looked over my shoulder into the mirror. I sat frozen in terror.

I had two long stitched up scars along my back where my wings should have been. I felt my mind start to go in panic mode again and I felt myself on the edge of hyperventilation. Never in my life did I even think there would be a time I wouldn't have my wings. My wings were not just part of my body, but there were part of my soul.

What do you do when part of your soul is missing?

I shut my eyes tight as more questions force there way into my mind. What will Max think? Will she still love me? Will I be a liability now? How will I get to her? How can I stay with her?

With each question I could feel a hole in my heart start to open. The edges burning back to enlarge the endless black abyss consuming me. A pain shot through my being as I thought of a life without Max.

I wouldn't be able to survive that.

My body collapsed back on the floor. It was stressed and exhausted. It couldn't take much more of this. My body curled up in a ball trying to keep the pieces of what's left of my heart together. Sleep called to me once again, and I gratefully welcomed it. But not before a silent tear streaked across my cheek. How was I going to save them now?


I know! I hate me too. But everything happens for a reason. You better not stop reading just because of this. Not so close to the end. So sorry for the long wait. I hope it was worth it. This chapter was a BITCH to write. Tell me if it was too confusing.

Do not foget to tell me about the first few chapters please!

Next Chapter: A Showdown. An epiphany. Death. Possible reunion. HINT AGAIN: The next one should be the "If Saving You Sends Me to Heaven" chapter. haha.

Review please!

19. Author's Finishing Note

UPDATE 12/13/2014

This story has been on hiatus for over 8 years now. If anyone is still interested, I thank you all for being with me. I have promised in the past that I will finish this. I have always had 2 more chapters planned out, and a possible sequel.

Life events had prevented me from continuing, and over those 8 years I have lost interested in the fandom itself, as well as this story. Although I wish to finish this, I would not feel comfortable continuing with the story in the shape it is now. There are many problems I find with the story now, with my growth as a writer and a person these past years.

This is my announcement that this version of the story will not be finished. I plan to rewrite and finish the story as a new entity, changing major problems I have with this version, and posting it as a new story when finished. I will be keeping this version up for reference, and to allow those who wish to be able to read this copy to do so. I also would like to keep all the reviews that I had received.

Thank you all for reading this far, and pushing this story to where it got. It is my job to finish, and my job to promote ideas I believe in now, and not fall back into old patterns just to finish. I will rewrite, make this something I'm proud of again, and something I'm happy to put into the world, then it will be there for everyone to read and finish.

Thank you all, for all these years of support.