The Price is Ride by AvengingMyInnocence

Don't own Maximum Ride. Don't own Fang or Angel, or Bob Barker ... The only thing I do own is my wickidly twisted brain and photos of my cousin jumping up and down on the couch (much like a character in the below story).

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"EIGHT!" He screamed.

Max winced and turned her head warily toward him. His face was red, his fingers to his lips his eyes wide.

She shook her head and turned back to the TV, propping her chin on the heel of her hand.

"Eight … EIGHT!" He growled.

He seemed to be riveted to the screen and Max believed that if he were to lean any farther forward he would fall face first into the floor.

Fang had perched himself, literally PERCHED himself on the arm of the couch. He was on tiptoes his knees bent his elbows resting on his thighs. He was chewing on his fingernails and Max wondered if he wouldn't end up gnawing his fingers to the bone by the time the woman on the screen decided which number she wanted. Six or eight.

"Well, Bob … I'm going to have to say…"

"EIGHT!" He shrieked his fingers finally coming away from his teeth long enough to curl into claws.

Max scooted farther down on the couch knowing what was coming before the little woman on the screen even opened her mouth.

"I'm going to have to say … SIX!"

He vibrated as if he'd been shot in the chest. His feathers and his hair stood on end and his wide eyes went yet wider. He trembled for a moment then a low groan started in his throat.

The busty Barker-Beauty on the screen flipped over the sign and tubas played in the background.

"No … I'm sorry, it was 'eight'!"

Max turned to him slowly, not really sure what she would see.

His face had gone from red to a bright purple and his lips were nearing a plum shade of blue. Was he choking on his fingers? Had he had an aneurysm?

"FANG!" She put out her hand and grabbed his arm.

He twitched his eyes to her and growled, his teeth gritted, "Go get Angel."

She felt fear rise in her throat like bile and she was up stairs banging on the younger girl's door before she knew what she was doing.

"Angel, Fang wants you down stairs."

She opened the door and stared blearily out at Max for a moment before she rolled her big eyes and stomped down stairs her arms crossed over her chest. "This is the LAST time, Fang!"

Max crept into the room and watched in silent fascination.

"Lets see our next item up for bid!"

"We have a lovely diamond tennis bracelet! This diamond bracelet, set in ten karat and accented with sapphire can be yours if the Price is Right!"

Angel sighed, "Do I really have to do this again?"

He hissed at her and began chewing his fingers again.

"Again?" Max called from the door.

Angel rolled her eyes, "Last time it was some college guy and complete dining room suite."

"No, you can't do this. Fang, this isn't right!"

"I bid fifteen hundred, Bob!"

"Twelve fifty, Bob."

"Nineteen-hundred!"

"DO IT NOW, ANGEL!"

"This is the LAST … The ABSOLUTE LAST TIM!"

"JUST DO IT!" He had tears in his bloodshot eyes.

She scowled and turned her eyes to the TV.

There was a moment of complete silence and Max saw the little old woman at the end of the row go rigid. Her face went slack for a few seconds and then she gave her head a shake and her hand went to her throat, "One thousand four-hundred and ninety-eight dollars!"

"There, HAPPY!" Angel screeched and ran from the room mumbling about how stupid boys were and how stupid stupid-game-shows were.

A bell sounded in the background and a rather surprised look came over Bob's face. "OH! One of you has gotten the price exactly right! That means the person joining me up here will get a FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR BONUS!"

Fang trembled again and his breath caught in his throat.

"And the actual retail price is … One thousand four-hundred and ninety-eight dollars! AND OUR WINNER IS, RITA from RIO!"

The old woman screamed and began waving her hands excitedly. She rushed on stage. "OH! I've never won anything in my life! OH! THANK YOU!"

"Well, Rita from Rio, I would LOVE to give you this!"

The folding doors rolled back and the announcer screamed, "A NEW CAR!"

The crowd roared and Fang stood up on the arm of the chair screaming and laughing, dancing around with his wings out. He pumped his fists in the air and shook his behind right at Max, who, on any other day would have found his behind quite nice.

He danced around whooping and flapping his wings, blowing magazines from the coffee table and nearly falling off the couch all together. He bounced around on the cushions jumping up and down like a maniac and laughing so loudly Max was tempted to cover her ears.

He jumped once more, folding his wings and landing cross legged on the couch his fingers between his teeth.

"Now, the price of this car is not twenty-seven thousand five hundred forty-six. Each number in that price is one away from the actual retail price of the car."

"I … I understand." Rita mumbled and shuffled forward grasping the two and making it a one.

Fang inhaled sharply, "Eight … Its an Eight!"

The seven became an eight.

"FOUR!"

The five became a four.

"FIVE!"

The four became a five.

"FIVE!" His voice was barely above a whisper.

The woman hesitated, her face wrinkled in deep concentration. She gently laid her pale, arthritic hand on the number and began to slide it-

She stopped completely and turned to the audience who began shouting, "FIVE" or "SEVEN" each group trying desperately to change the old woman's mind.

Her hand twitched to the number again and Fang screamed.

"FIVE! YOU OLD TWIT!"

Max turned off the TV.

His whole body became a tense knot of muscle. His eyes flicked to Max in rage, horror and hopelessness. "What … Did … You … Do?"

"What did you do?" She crossed her arms and stood between him and the TV. "You've been watching TV for three days straight. I haven't seen you go to bed once. It was OK when it was just every once and a while but now … Look at you. You haven't showered in about four days, your hair's a mess, you've been bouncing around on the sofa like a lunatic and screaming at the TV!

"I mean, even Total won't watch TV with you anymore and I've seen him chasing the antelope on Nature Programs!"

He didn't speak. He licked his lips and blinked awkwardly, first his left eye then his right barely a tenth of a second later. "Your point is?"

She rolled her eyes and let out an audible sigh of frustration.

"You had Angel manipulate that woman's thoughts so she would win. That's cheating."

He bit his tongue.

"How many times have you made her control their minds?"

He looked away, ashamed.

"How many times?"

"Couple."

"A couple?"

He rolled his eyes, "A couple of times … No more than thirty."

Max threw the remote control at him. It didn't hit him but he flinched just the same. "I've just gotten her to stop getting into people's heads without their permission and YOU have her controlling the contestants on The Price is Right!"

He flinched and looked at the ground blushing. "I'm sorry."

She growled. She HATED it when he used THAT voice. That hurt little 'please don't hate me, I only want to be loved' voice. "I should kick your butt!"

He shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. "Whatever."

She plopped down beside him on the couch, slouching so low her chin was on her chest. She turned the TV back on and changed the channel to Family Feud just in time to hear the man with white hair and black eyebrows ask a plump redheaded man, "Name a country other than America that starts with 'A'."

The man went pale his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "Uh … Alaska!"

And before Fang knew what was happening Max was on her feet. "ALASKA? ALASKA! ALASKA ISN'T ANOTHER COUNTRY!

"Australia, Afghanistan, Africa, Austria, Antarctica, Argentina, -"

Fang rolled his eyes and began massaging the bridge of his nose. "There she goes again!"