So Gangsta by EdwardAddict

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Humor, Parody
Published:2007-06-09 20:42:34
Updated:2007-06-09 20:42:34
Packaged:2021-04-22 00:11:09
Summary:Fang alone in a hotel room with the iPod. What does he listen to? I'm a Gangster, of course! But, oh no! He has an audience! Oneshot

So Gangsta

A/N: P Random idea. Hope you like my odd sense of humor. I'm sorry if the song offends anyone, but I find it hilarious.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or I'm A Gangster.

Claimer: I own everything else.

So Gangsta

Fang's POV

I turned up the iPod, looking around to make sure no one was here. Good. They had all gone out to the hotel's pool.

I put some shades on and I got my bling out. My song was starting. I opened my mouth to sing along.

"Yo, yo, yo. I'm a gangster. Where my dogs at? Bark with me if you're my dog. Yo, yo, yo. I'm going, I'm gonna give a shout out to all the player haters. I don't like player haters. Yo, if you're a player hater, don't player hate on me"

I bobbed my head to the gangsta beat. I pretended to scratch some records.

"I'm a gangster. I'm straight up. Grr, I'm steaming mad. Grr. I'm a gangster, I'm a straight up G. The gangster life is the life for me. Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night, being a gangster is hella tight. I walk around town with a stark erection, then gave your mom a yeast infection. I saw the police man, and punched him in the eye. To serve and protect, WHAT A LIE!"

Max's POV

Iggy had pushed me into the pool while I still had all my clothes. I walked back to the hotel room so I could change. I opened the door. Someone was in here. I hid in the corner, wondering who it could be. It was Fang! And he seemed to be singing. Well, butchering the lyrics was more like it.

"I also don't like white people. You shouldn't too, and don't get me started about the Jews.
I'm a gangster. Grr, I'm mad. I'm a gangster, my rhymes are bad. I'm a gangster, I'm iced out like a freezer. I'm a gangster, I don't listen to Weezer."

I swallowed my laugh. Fang was dressed like a wannabe gangster. Oh, dear God. He was trying to look so cool. And he was failing miserably.

He continued on with his horrific singing.

"I dropped outta school at the age of 3. Why? Cuz all the teachers tried to playa hate on me. Oh.
My rhymes are hot, like a burning flame. Sisco is my homie, he's a gangster too. Me and Sisco are the leaders of the gangster crew. I like to be in jail, and he likes to sing and dance. Some say we're the perfect match."

Was... Is that an Adam and Andrew song? Yeah! I never would have guessed. He makes it sound so... Let's put it this way: he should never get a job as a singer. Definitely better if he just stood there and looked pretty.

"STEP OFF! STEP BACK, STEP AWAY! STEP BACK! DON'T, DON'T STEP FORWARD! STEP BACK! DON'T STEP FORWARD! STEP BACKWARDS! DON'T STEP TO ME! DO NOT STEP TO ME!" He started moving around in looked like a waltz pattern, trying to look intimidating like he was trying to make someone move.

"I'm giving a shout out to all my homies in cell block eight. Being in jail sucks because you always have to masturbate. Except when a Jewish person goes to jail, all my homies cheer. They will make mincemeat out of his rear. Ben Petty helped me make the gangster beat to this song. I shot him in the face cuz he looked at me wrong."

Those dance moves? Something someone under the age of 18 should never witness. I'm including myself in this.

"I'm a gangster, I drop bombs like Hiroshima. I'm a gangster, bitch suck on my wiener. I'm a gangster, I drive a cool car. I'm a gangster, I smoke weed in a cigar. Yo, my gangster flow.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo."

First he made an explosion motion with his hands, then pointed to get it. Pretending to drive a car was right before pretending to smoke. Tsk, tsk.

"Im rolling on dubs, iced out like hockey. My friend got kicked outta japan for drinking all the saki. Fuck a bitch, give me head hoe. What's up to my dogs, yo, yo, yo. They play this song on the radio all day long, so everyone can hear my gangster song. No body thought I'd blow up like a Firestone tire."

I'm not so sure Fang's sober right now. I kept watching, too shocked to step from my hiding spot.

"Uh, there's no beat left." He faked shooting a gun. "Die, Santa Clause, die! I like to slap bitches, I like to slap hoes."

It was over! Thank God! I revealed myself to him and started laughing.

"Max! How long have you been here?!"

"The whole song, Gee." Fang turned beet red and ran into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Poor guy wouldn't come out until everyone else was asleep.

Fang's POV

Note to self: Never sing Adam and Andrew songs ever, EVER again.

A/N: Yes, that song is very crude. Yes, it's mean to Jews. (Sorry if you are Jewish.) I saw the song, and thought it would be hilarious to have Fang pretend he was a gangster.

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