Oh, The Possibilities! by EdwardAddict

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Humor, Parody
Published:2007-08-18 21:53:45
Updated:2007-09-08 17:48:46
Packaged:2021-04-21 23:31:54
Summary:Where's Fang's power? Why doesn't he have one? Oh, young one, you are very wrong. He's had a power all along. It's just a secret. But now he's willing to share that secret with us all. Series of Oneshots Parody

Table of Contents

1. Making Connections
2. What Power?

1. Making Connections

A/N: Oh, this idea just came to me 30 seconds ago. Here I am, sending the wonderful Myrah a PM, and BAM! It hits me. I hope you enjoy the insanity.

Warning: Don't read on unless you are a girl, or an incredibly brave boy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.

Claimer: I own this plot and Fang's power.

Making Connections

(Fang's POV)

Oh, so you've just finished reading our book, right? I thought so, newbie.But here you are, hanging on my few words and squealing with fangirl-ish glee whenever I mention Max and take off my shirt, exposing my incredibly toned stomach and chest.And you're wondering, 'Gee! Why doesn't Fang have a cool power like the rest of them?'

Well, the joke's on you. And the rest of the world for that matter. Because I do have a power. And it's much better than breathing underwater or flying fast.

But I don't think I want to tell you. Yet. I'll make you all suffer.

Because I'm that kind of a guy.

Oh, that won't make you suffer? Then allow me to just..do...this.

I am slowly taking off my shirt. Now, I am dancing. And twirling my shirt around my head.Uh, pelvic thrusts. Smirk.

What's this? Oh no! A bucket of water just poured down on me. I'm shaking my hair, water's flying everywhere.

Isn't it a wonder why I'm still single?

Oh, here goes the belt. What? You want me to stop? Well, if you insist.

So you want to hear about my power now? Well, other than my drop-dead sexiness, I have underwear vision!Oh, you don't think I'm serious?

I am. I'm as serious as I am gorgeous. It's not like X-ray vision. I look at a person, and I see their underwear on the outside of their clothes.

Just like you. Oh yes, the power even works over the internet. No one is immune to my powers! Mwahaha!

Oh, shit! Here comes Max! Quick, act cool!

"Hey, Max." That's it, Fang. Work the charm.

"Fang, why are you wet? And where is your shirt? Dear God, you were stripping for those girls on the internet again, weren't you!" NO! I'm found out!

"No." Don't panic, man! Calm...

Oh, damn my power! Max's red lacy undergarments appeared before my eyes. Don't laugh, Fang. No. That'll only make it worse. Stop! Oh, the torment!

I walked away.Yes, I walk away when it becomes too hard to control my laughter. You would, too!

Actually, I usually just don't talk much. If I open my mouth, I just might burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

Oh, don't look at me like that! I bet you're thinking 'Whoa! A teenage boy who walks away from lacy thongs!'

Believe you me, if it was anyone other than Max, I'd be right there, pulling the Fang charm. But it is Max.

What's so funny about Max's thong, you ask?

Just the fact that she hasn't changed it since Iggy made a slingshot out of her last thong a few months ago.

That's right, kids. Max doesn't change her underwear! Quick, go post it on your blog!

So now you're probably thinking: 'Uh-oh! If Fang's uberly awesome power works over the internet, he can probably see my Angelina Ballerina underwear! No!'

Yes, I can. Thank you for finally realizing that.

Oh, don't you just wish you could see my boxers.

Not dissin' my power anymore, now are ya?

Nope. Because it's the best power you can have.

That's why I have it.

Here I am, in the local park, basking in the glow of having a secret power.

Jealous, much?

A/N: Oh, don't even ask where this came from. XD

Don't flame me saying I'm weird. Don't tell me it's OOC. Because I already know those things.

Suggestions are welcome, reviews are love.

2. What Power?

A/N: I know I said it was a oneshot, but it made me think. So now, this will be a series of oneshots (none of them have anything to do with each other) about why we don't know if Fang has a power or not. Really, it's just my conspiracy theories about it all. XD

Now, I do like Max. But her intro does seem kinda big-headed. And so similar in each book. I mean, really! She never said anything about Fang's "non-existent" power.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or anything else you might recognize. If I did own MR, Fang would be strip dancing every other chapter.

Claimer: I do own everything else.

What Power?

(Max's POV)

I am Maximum Ride. Welcome to my hell.

See, me and my Flock–Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel–aren't exactly normal. For the first part of our lives, we grew up in a science lab.

Yes, you read it right. We lived in a lab. Because we're not all human. Only 98 percent, to be correct. The other two percent? Well, we're avian.

Let me back up and introduce us. Iggy is 14 (like me) and blind. He's fabulous at bombs and can tell people apart by feeling their fingertips. Nudge, who's 11, can touch something and feel vibrations of what was there before. Gazzy, 8, has the incredible ability to mimic any voice he hears. Angel, 6, can breath underwater, read minds, and control people. Fang, 14, can...

What can he do? In all my past three books, I never even took the time to realize he has no power. Huh.

Some call that big-headed of me, I say it's just an "oops" moment.

"Hey, Fang?" I got a grunt in response. "Don't you have a power?"

"Oh, wow! Self-absorbed Max finally noticed I don't read minds or something like that! I'm so honored."

"Cut the crap, Fang. Do you or don't you have a power?"

"I'll tell you when we land."

Well, fine then. If he wants to play stubborn... I angled to the ground, knowing the others had no choice but to follow me.

"What's goin' on, Max? We just stopped a couple of hours ago? Do you need a potty break?!"

"No, Nudge. I just need to talk to Fang. Iggy, you're in charge till we get back."

I'm sure he made some comment about us not being able to repress our "so obvious" lust that we just have to go in the bushes now.

But I, of course, ignored him. Just like I always do.

I stopped walking, leaning back against some tree. "Talk," I ordered him.

"I do have a power, Max."

"Then why didn't you say anything?!" Okay, so I was a little ticked. You would be too. God knows how long he's hidden it from us.

"No one asked." And there was that stupid, adorably hot smirk of his! Manages to piss you off so much and make you melt all at the same time.

"Then what is it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Duh!" This boy just really wanted to make me mad.

"Well...," he stalled. Long pause. "I... have the extreme ability to be silent."

My jaw dropped. "You have got to be kidding. That's it?"

Ooh, that got me in trouble with him. Haha! "Yes. That's it. But really. I rock! The silence thing? Hey, it works to our advantage in sticky situations. That, and it really comes in handy when I want to annoy you guys." He laughed.

So that was it. That was all the infamous Fang had to offer.

Being quiet and dressing in black.

What is wrong with the Mutant-Power-Giver these days?

Everything, that's what I say.

(Fang's POV)



One more time: Ha!

Max is so gullible.

You see, I'm forced to keep my power a secret, for it is the best out of them all.

I... Wait. I need a drum roll. Where is my drum roll?! Okay. There it is.






No, not like Max and the others, but, I can, like, be, like, really cool and stealthy while doing it.

What? Were you expecting me to be able to turn into a shadow or something? Pfft. Tough luck, kid.

A/N: There you have it. Fang has a non-power. :D

But don't tell him that. He thinks it's the best. -Eye roll-

I'll write another chapter soon-ish.

Suggestions are welcome, reviews are love.