Hiding Inside by bluexisxcool

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Angst, Hurt-Comfort
Published:2008-06-29 12:22:15
Updated:2008-07-05 15:09:35
Packaged:2021-04-22 03:17:41
Summary:When frusteration and depression gets to much to handle, Iggy finds only one way to release the pressure. This can only really be described as dangerous...for himself. -if you have a problem with self-injury, cutting or are easily triggered, dont read-

Table of Contents

1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Alternate Chapter 5

1. Chapter 1

I don't know if I've said this before, but there is a reason people dream of flying. Once you're flying on a perfect day with perfect weather and a perfect blue sky, it's just... Well, perfect. Hard to explain really. Three weeks had passed after we defeated Itex. Three whole weeks. Things weren't excellent of course, but it was better. The flock and I were off doing what we wanted, where we wanted. Barley having to worry about Eraser attacks.

There were some here and there, but they were patchworky like Ari but not near as skilled. And not in big numbers. I would be a fool if I were to try and tell you that a big corporation like Itex was going to go down without a fight, so they were trying to give us a fight. They weren't winning. We even bet on how long it was going to take for them to finally die out. Iggy bet the longest, three whole months. And Angel, being ever the optimist, bet a week from now. Of course we weren't betting anything, we had little to bet, but it was simply a game.

Right now we were heading back to my house, or rather Ella's and my mom's. We had talked about it for awhile, and decided that going home to rest for a month, then out on the road actually having fun for a month or so would be the perfect balance. None of us wanted to stay in one spot any longer especially since we barley had to worry about the pathetic Eraser attacks that rarely came.

Angel broke into my thoughts, "They're coming. Not many. 15 I think?"

Speaking of Eraser attacks…

They were clumsily and slowly flying up behind us. 15 to be exact. This was going to be... Almost fun.

"Alright, Fang Iggy and I will take three, the rest of you only have to deal with two." I told the flock, they all nodded and we, almost eagerly, flew to face the pathetic excuse for our enemy.

After sending one eraser down to the ragged Rocky Mountains, I checked on the rest of the flock Since Angel could simply take them out in seconds, she decided to well, have fun. Fine by me. Gazzy was taking his two out quickly, Nudge doing even better. Fang, with total on his back, was working on what looked to be his third one already, but Iggy… He was usually a great fighter despite his blindness. But now he seemed to actually be having trouble taking these guys out. Why didn't he just use a small bomb or two? I'm sure he has some tucked away.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by an Eraser hit to the head. It was a surprise and sent me off balance, rolling forward. Instead of correcting myself, I continued rolling around to surprise the Eraser by punching him hard in the jaw. Flipping over him, I pulled his horribly sewn on wings together only to gasp when one practically ripped out. I didn't bother watching him fall.

We had finished off the Erasers quickly and were back on track again. Everybody was having their own little conversation. Gazzy was talking about fire or bombs or something similar to Iggy, Nudge trying to persuade Total who was riding on her back into wearing cute doggy clothes, and soon a game of tag between Angel and Gazzy broke out. Fang and I were flying a little bit behind. We didn't need to talk sometimes. Simply flying by each other and barley brushing our wings was enough.

We were not trying to fly fast. We were going at a relaxing speed where we could actually enjoy it. Like a normal person taking a walk through the woods and not worrying about running to find your way out. At about 4:00, we were starting to get tired and hungry. There was a clearing surrounded by woods on one side, and a field of some weird plant on the other side. I looked at Fang who simply nodded, flew up in front of the flock, and lead them down.

"Gazzy and Iggy, could you guys start a fire for us?" I said once we had all landed. "Since you love it so much after all."

I did an automatic 360 to check out the place. We were in a grassy area and we could see absolutely no civilization all around. And that's with our enhanced raptor vision. I rummaged for the last of our hotdogs to eat. There weren't enough to fill us up and we would certainly have to go into town before we got to Ella's, but it was enough.

"Max?" Angel tugged on the bottom of my shirt and looked up at me. "Can we go look at the flowers before we eat?" She asked.

"Uhh sure. I guess that's okay." I answered. We might find some berries that weren't poisonous that we could eat as a side dish. "Let's all go." I added, not wanting to split up the flock.

"Umm actually Max…" Iggy said quietly. "I think I'll just stay here. Prepare the food and stuff." He said and pushed a rock close to the fire to sit on.

"Are you sure?" I asked him, he simply nodded. "Alright then."

We were walking through what looked to be a path made by deer. It was narrow at first, but then it started to widen so we could walk together instead of a single file.

"Oh my God these flowers are so pretty. I wonder what kind they are. Have you ever thought about how many different flowers there are? There must be like, a thousand different kinds." Nudge was rambling on. None of us felt like making her shut up, so I just tuned her out and fell back a ways away so I could see them all.

"What-cha thinking about?" I heard Fang ask next to me. I just shrugged in return. I really wasn't thinking about a certain thing. It was weird.

"How can you not know what you're thinking about?" He asked again.

"I don't know. Just… stuff." I said and smiled up at his dark eyes. You really need to stop being taller than me. I thought toward him. He rolled his eyes and smile back.

"Look! Blueberries!" Angel said loudly, completely ruining the moment.

After loading a bag full of blueberries, we headed back to Iggy. When we got there I saw that he only had a few hot dogs cooked. Normally by now he would have them pretty much finished. I don't know how he does it, but he told me while ago that he could smell when they were done. Arguments have even broken out over weather hot dogs were done or not based on smell, or look. Either way, the ones he had made tasted... Not that good. I mean, we were kids who didn't get to eat as often as we should, food that didn't taste great really wasn't a big deal. But it was odd that they were either burnt or undercooked. Maybe something was wrong with Iggy…

I quickly shook off the thought when I saw him laughing with the others. He was just a bit off. Nothing was really wrong. Right?


The next day we stopped at McDonalds to have lunch.

"Max how far away are we?" Nudge said between bites. Which was weird because she never seemed to stop eating.

"I don't know. Maybe a day or two." I answered. We had left Vancouver, Canada yesterday. It was going to take longer than a few hours to travel all the way down to Arizona.

"Where's Iggy?" Gazzy said, also between bites but somehow never stopped eating. How did these kids do these type of things?

"He said something about taking a walk to me earlier." Total said. That made me feel… weird. Why didn't Iggy tell me? Or at least Fang. Why the dog?

"He's going to skip lunch?" Fang asked quietly. He did get more talkative lately, but wasn't loud like Nudge that's for sure. He always spoke quietly. Total just shrugged. Well, as much as a dog can shrug. Fang gave me a worried look, and by the looks of it, I returned it. We were mutant avian-bird hybrid teenagers. Skipping lunch was almost suicidal. Well no it's more like a regular person not eating for a day; not quite suicidal but it's still not good.

15 or 20 minutes later we were heading off into the air. About to anyway. We were still missing Iggy.

"Alright, this is a small town he obviously didn't go far. Angel and Nudge go look that way." I said pointing down one street. "Gazzy and Total go that way. And Fang and I will go this way. Meet back here."

We split up in our different directions to look for Iggy. I was seriously hoping he didn't get lost. It was a small town sure, but you could still get hurt. Especially if you're a blind kid and haven't been doing so well against horrible Erasers.

We were quiet while we walked until we finally stumbled upon Iggy sitting on a bench. He was hunched over and we couldn't see a thing except for his back and legs, but it was defiantly him. He didn't seem to ear us coming though which was weird because usually he can.

"Hey Iggy!" I called out when we were getting close to him. He suddenly pulled something in his lap, stuck something else in his pocket, and 'looked' up.

"Where have you been? Did you have lunch at least?" I asked him. Iggy was usually kind of pale, but now he seemed paler than usual which worried me. He looked as if he was thinking a bit. then shook his head slightly.

"Haven't eaten." He mumbled.

"You okay dude?" Fang asked when we were by him and actually sat down next to him. Wow. Fang caring about something? When did this happen?

"I'm fine." Iggy answered. He sounded fine, but he certainly didn't look fine. He looked like he was hiding something. Fang and I once again exchanged worried looks.

"We better get back to the others." I said knowing the others were waiting for us. Fang and Iggy got off the bench and we started walking back. But I hung back a little bit. There was something strange around here. I looked around but didn't see anything. I listened carefully but didn't hear anything. I smelled the air but - Wait...

I smelled blood.

Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride... And I hate these things. They're hardley necesary

Soo... Anyone actually like so far? I actually made this a long time ago, before book 4 came out, but never uploaded it. So I beleive it's set after book 3. But it doesn't matter to much... Whatever. I tend to ramble.

Anyway, this story gets pretty sad. Just as a warning. I loved it when I was writing it, but I think I made some of the characters a bit out of character. Whatever.

I do have the other chapters, and I'll get those up soon enough. In a day or two, I promise. (I know. I'm horrible. I would just really like for some more reveiwers. But weather I get reveiws or not, the next part will be up tomorrow or the next day. I won't wait to long, especially on a clincher like this.)

2. Chapter 2

We were up in the air once again. I was still thinking through all the possibilities as to why I smelled blood back at the town. The most probable was that there was an Eraser attack and Iggy didn't feel like telling us. Maybe someone made Iggy incredibly pissed and he just flipped out on them and was ashamed by the sudden rage. Or hopefully there was something happening that had nothing to do with Iggy. But weather it was just stuck in my senses or not, I swear I still faintly smelt it.

I glanced over to him to see if I could study his face, but my eyes drifted somewhere else. The wind as usual, blew our hair and clothes around. This time, it was making Iggy's long sleeves ride up a ways, half way to his elbow. I saw new and old cuts running along his arm. I didn't think the Eraser was that much of a problem!

"Wow Iggy that Eraser beat you up good." I said in a joking way, hoping to God that he would respond with some sarcastic comment or something funny like, 'He paid for it all right!' He usually does.

"Yea." He said and gave a half-hearted laugh that didn't seem to be there at all. He then pulled his sleeves back down and bunched the small amount of extra in his hands. Not really that funny like usual.

"Max?" Nudge asked me later that day when it was starting to get dark. We were probably going to land somewhere very soon.


"Can we like, sleep in a hotel or something?" She asked. That actually didn't sound like a bad idea at all. "There is a city nearby. They've probably got like a motel or something and we could actually sleep in beds and get a good rest before we got to you're house." She continued. "Plus, we could like, shower so we didn't show up all dirty and icky."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." I said and we flew in the direction of the nearby town landing behind a tall building that I hoped was actually a hotel. Turns out it was. We walked inside and I asked for a room. When the receptionist asked us if we had a legal guardian with us, Angel stepped up.

"We don't really have an adult with us. But that's okay." She said sweetly, and the receptionist was immediately transfixed. "The biggest room with the most beds is open tonight. We can have it. And we don't really need to pay because most of the rooms are empty anyway." She continued saying while holding her ratty Celeste.

"Okay." The receptionist said, still transfixed. "Here is your room key. Room 302. Third floor. Go on up."

The room thankfully had two beds and a couch large enough for a person. As most hotel rooms, it had one bathroom. But it was still a pretty large room. The Nudge, Angel, and Total would probably sleep on one, Gazzy and Iggy on the other, Fang on the sofa, and I would probably sleep on the floor even though Fang would insist on switching places. Then half way through the night Fang would feel bad as usual and get off the sofa, and toss me on it. Such a gentleman.

"Okay! Who wants to shower first?" I asked when we had checked out the room and finished gawking at the fridge full of food and drinks. Nudge was the first to go since she offered up the idea.

"First I need everyone's dirty clothes. Might as well wash them while we're here so my parents don't think we've been… Sleeping on dirt." I told them and they each shuffled for their extra pair of clothes. We didn't have many, but had a few extra in case something happened.

"Iggy could you help me wash them?" I asked him and we left down the hall to the convenient, nice looking washing machines. My clever little plan worked perfectly by the way.

When Iggy was reaching down for the clothes, and reaching over to drop them in, his shirt sleeves rose up a little as usual. I wanted to see the scars I had seen earlier to make sure they weren't to bad. I knew that he could easily take care of them himself, but I just wanted to make sure. When his sleeve rode up, I saw that they were all different. There were barely two that seemed to be inflicted at the same time, but at the same time they were all so... Perfect. Not all over the place. I didn't get to see very far up of course, no further past his wrists, but they were all aligned. Some evenly spaced apart. I simply couldn't put the pieces together.

"Iggy…" I said slowly. "Can… Can you tell me how these happened?" I asked and grabbed his hand, starting to pull up the rest of his sleeve.

"They're nothing Max." He said quietly and pulled his hand away quickly. "Forget about them."

That's when I started to realize the truth. He turned around to feel for the basket we carried the clothes in.

"Did you…Don't tell me you did that to yourself." I asked him and pulled him back around. His blank, unseeing eyes bore into mine as if he could see. I noticed his jaw get tighter like Fang's did when he was trying not to show anger.

"I told you to just forget about them." He said to me deeply. A little to deeply.

"But Iggy-"

"No! It's my body I can do what I want." He said stubbornly, pushed me aside, and walked out of the door almost running into the wall first.

"Fang we need to talk." I said as soon as I got back to the room. I glanced around and saw everyone watching TV, except Iggy who I heard was in the shower.

"Now?" He asked, not even looking at me but at the TV. Boys.

"Now!" I said loudly and dragged him outside into the hall.

"Do you know what Iggy's been doing?" I asked him in a yelling whisper once we were in the hall.

"Uhh no. What." Fang answered.

"He's been… I… I can't even say it!" I started to feel as if all of this was my fault. I was the leader, I should have noticed this sooner! In fact, I should have never let it start in the first place. Fangs already dark eyes darkened and he looked worried.

"What?" He asked again with more concern this time.

"He's been… hurting himself. But on purpose." I told Fang and almost starting to cry myself, knowing this was somehow all my fault.

"He's been what?" Fang for once let surprise through. "You don't mean like…"

"Yes!" I said exasperated.

"Oh my God." Fang looked like he was trying to say something, but couldn't. He leaned his head onto the wall. "Why?"

"I don't know! And it's all my fault! I know it is." Now I felt my eyes get watery out of hatred to myself for letting this happen and more, fear for Iggy.

"How is this your fault?" Fang asked, pulling away from the wall.

"I'm the leader. I should have noticed it earlier and prevented him from ever doing that. It's all my fault. God I'm so… So stupid! How could I not notice it before?"

"Shh Max! This is in no way your fault. I don't want you hating yourself too." Fang said and wiped away what probably was a tear.

"He's like my brother Fang! What if he really hurts himself?" I asked him and looked for some kind of hope in his face.

"He's my brother too you know. But he won't. Because he's going to stop." Fang said, then pulled me into a tight hug. "He's not going to hurt himself to bad." He repeated but it sounded like he only said it to convince himself. "I'll make sure of it."

"I just... Can't imagine what kind of pain he must be going through to actually do that to himself." I whispered into Fang's chest. I think we were both scared. You probably do not know what it's like to be a mutant bird kid with only 6 people who you can truly depend on. You probably do not know what it's like to have a past of running and sleeping in caves. And the biggest thing you're afraid of is someone that close to you dying. Because of themselves.

And the out of characterness continues. Especially Fang... and Max a little. Of course maybe this is perfectly correct since in the real books, something like this never happened... Oh well. It's written now. What's done is done. I wrote this long ago and I beleive it is my first Maximum Ride story.

Whew! I got much more of a response out of that first chapter than I thought I would... Well thank you! :)
Oh and Anonymous, I beleive you are thinking of 3 times 3. because 3 + 3 + 3 9. then 2 + 2 + 2 6. 6 + 9 15! :D You got your multiplication and addition confused. Oh well. Thank you for the reveiw though. It was nice.

Well stay tuned. And thanks for the reveiws. And to think I didn't even ask for them like I normally do...

Back to replying to reveiws then

3. Chapter 3

We went back into the room having been gone for almost 5 minutes. I noticed the Gasman didn't look to happy.

"Gazzy? What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Iggy won't help make bombs with me." He said softly. "I'll mess up on my own." Yet another sign that Iggy just wasn't okay. Even though Iggy and the Gasman were 5 or 6 years apart they were closer than your average brothers. And Iggy absolutely loved making bombs.

"How long has it been since you two caught something on fire anyway?" I asked him, ruffling his hair because he's always liked it.

"I don't know. A week maybe."

Just then the shower shut off. Minutes later followed by more than usual pale looking Iggy who sat down on the bed opposite to the rest of us.

"Go hop in the shower. And don't fake it because I'll know!" I told Gazzy and gently nudged him in that direction. Since he was an 8 year old boy, showers were positively horrible. I got up and walked over to where Iggy sat. Without saying a word, I grabbed his hand and led him out into the hall where we could talk away from the kids. I faintly heard Nudge asking Fang what was going on and hoped he wouldn't tell them to much, but wouldn't lie either.

"We should sit…" I said once we had closed the door behind us. I slid down the wall and Iggy soon followed.

"What do you want from me Max?" He asked, facing forward.

"I want to know why."

"Why what?" He said, obviously stalling.

"This!" Annoyed, I grabbed his hand tightly so he couldn't take it back and rolled up his sleeve only to gasp in horror. There was a new one. Blood was still leaking out of it little by little.

"You… did it again?" I gasped at him, scared now more than ever. He wasn't about to die or anything, but still!

"I said to drop it okay? Just because you're the leader doesn't mean you can do anything you want!" He said loudly and tried to rip his hand free. But all I could do was gaze at the horizontal scars lining his arm. Iggy was blind, but he could do things as if he wasn't. He could make a perfect meal without seeing, he could flawlessly whip up a bomb without seeing, and somehow he could make row after row of cuts without seeing.

"Iggy I'm not asking you to tell me as a leader. I'm asking you to tell me as a friend." I said and let him go. He pulled his sleeve back down and stood up, I quickly stood up with him.

"No! You're not my friend!" He shouted at me. "Nobody here is because you don't know what it's like! There is absolutely no way that I could even begin to explain to any of you the crap and pain I'm dealing with! What I do makes me feel better. It's this or kill myself. Or go crazy! Which would you prefer Max? Because whatever you want I'd be glad to do it for you!"

I have to admit, I was completely astonished. I couldn't even start to form words. I was even a little hurt. We had always been there for him, no matter what. We've always been there for each other. What makes now so different? But mostly I was scared. Scared because if he wanted to, it really was not hard for him to actually kill himself. All he had to do was fly up, and not fly on the way back down...

"Iggy no…" Was all I could say in the mean time. At that moment the door burst open and Gazzy came running out, his hair still dripping wet.

"No no no no NO!" He screamed and clung to Iggy's waist. Fang silently stood in the doorway, Angel and Nudge peeking from behind him. "I don't want you to leave Iggy! You're my best friend!" Gazzy was crying and screaming into his side, Iggy looking positively surprised. I started to give Fang a look like, 'You let him eavesdrop?' but then realized that maybe this was exactly what Iggy needed.

"We know it's hard for you dude." Fang said, placing a comforting hand on Iggy's shoulder. "You've got it the worst of all of us."

"But we're here for you." I added. I heard a door open and someone shout for us to be quiet. But we of course ignored it, completely forgotten that we were in a hotel with other people. Angel and Nudge looked freaked out, Fang was worried as hell, Gazzy was still clinging to Iggy, and I… I just stood there. It's as if time stood still, none of us moved and waited for someone else to say something comforting.

After what seemed like hours but was really a matter of long lasting minutes, Iggy pale eyes looked as if they were about to cry. He lifted a shaky hand and placed it on top of Gazzy's damp blond hair and spoke in a hoarse, choked, voice.

"I… I'm sorry…"

SURPRISE! Two chapters in one day!! :) Arn't we all happy. As it turns out, I forgot that I'm leaving later today. So I went ahead and instead of waiting until I get back home, in 4 days, I posted both chapters. (because honestly, I didn't want a repeat of how my last story ended. I felt so bad about that)

Well ain't that a nice ending. Even more out of characterness but I don't care anymore. And poor Gazzy. I know. I'm evil. I made Iggy freaking cut himself, then I go pouting about Gazzy. Well, poor all of them. There. Not as evil anymore. XD

As for why I chose Iggy and not Fang? (I know I'll get this in a question) Because, think about it. Not everyone who wears dark and acts quiet is going to hurt themself. But the ones who seem always happy, the ones who don't talk about whatever they're feeling inside, those are the ones to look out for. Just because someone doesn't wear black and act all badass, doesn't mean they're not hurting. And just cause someone wears black and acts all tough, doesn't mean that they are hurting. If that makes any sense at all.

Anyway, I think this story showed a lot of signs to look out for. Like suddenly not joining in on favorite activities, loss of appetite, not really trying hard to do anything. Stuff like that.

Well I hope you enjoyed it. And if not, tell me why. Cause even though I made this awhile ago, it doesn't mean that constructive advice won't help. Cause it would. :) Thanks everyone for the reveiws and favoriting. That was nice.

4. Chapter 4

Someone requested more. Here's more.

(Iggy's POV)

Why am I doing this again? I thought I had stopped. I have stopped for two months. Two whole months without hurting myself in some way. I could stop right now. Wrap up my wrist, throw the blade away and never buy another one. But… I can't. I just can't. I just bought this blade, I can't throw it away. It's so… new. So sleek. How I wish I could see it. I wish I could watch the blood seeping through the fresh mark I made. But then again, that's mostly the reason I'm doing this in the first place. A release from the frustration and anger I get from being freaking blind.

So here I am, sitting at the edge of a small cave away from the others, 'searching for firewood' until I got 'separated from Gazzy.' It started to rain a few minutes ago, and I still faintly hear Gazzy calling my name. Poor guy, he's worried sick about me. And all I'm doing about it is sitting in the rain and cutting myself. Something I promised I would never do again. Hate formed in my gut as I thought about how horrible I am for leaving Gazzy. Worrying the flock and most of all an 8 year old kid. All they wanted to do was help. God, I'm such a… bastard!

Instead of stop and go back to them, I couldn't help but trace where the new mark was, move my fingers down about half an inch, then make a new one. A deeper one. There was no pain really, just a nice release. But it wasn't enough. I had to go deeper… I had to.

"No." I found myself whispering to myself. Very very quietly, but still out loud. I can't go any deeper. It's to dangerous. I was already feeling a little light-headed. But the temptation… it was to much.

"I can't… I won't." I kept whispering into nothing. I'm Iggy, I could easily keep myself from passing out if I really was about to. I couldn't help myself… I dug deeper into the newer of the two. I was out in the rain, which had gone from a light drizzle to almost storming, but I could very well feel blood seep out then get washed away with rain water. My head started to feel funny. And I knew I was loosing to much blood.

My other hand automatically grabbed a towel, but hesitated over the cut. I simply couldn't bring myself to stop the bleeding. My hand hovered over my wrist and started to shake. I didn't want the sensation to stop. I didn't want to interfere with the natural flow of blood. (despite the fact that I made the blood seep out at an unnatural rate) I just… found myself throwing the towel to the side and giving a small frustrated cry. I couldn't focus anymore.

'Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.' I repeated in my head over and over again. It was to late. I couldn't ever hope to find that towel again, much less stop the bleeding in time. I'm done for.

But somehow, I didn't seem to care. I didn't care that I wouldn't have to live this stupid life anymore. I didn't care that I'll never get to see a sunrise or sunset. Or that I'll never actually see my friends and family again. Or that I'm so tired of almost running into things and looking like an idiot. Now, if I die, maybe all that will stop. Maybe I can see again, I'll meet other kids like me and I'll feel less alone. Now, I don't care if I die or not.

Just as I was finally about to pass out, (or die. I don't know which.) I faintly heard someone's voice.

"Iggy! What the hell are you doing?!" I think it was Fang.

Well there you go. Like I said, Aqua279 reveiwed and said I should continue the story. Actually 'write more' was the request. And I got more of a response from the first three chapters than I thought I would. I guess people like this stuff. AND I got pretty bored and thought writing more would kill some time. So, here's my attempt at 'more'
Hope it doesn't suck to badly. Keep in mind the first three were written months ago... so the style might be a tad diffrent as I've probobly changed. For the better or worse, I don't know. But that will be more apparent in the next chapter.

Please reveiw. I know it's short, but it's not the end. :) Next chapter to be up... sometime tomorrow? Maybe. Okay thanks for reading.

5. Chapter 5

(back in Max's POV)

"Angel are you sure you didn't pick up anything on where Iggy might have gone?" I asked Angel at the camp. Gazzy came running back a few minutes ago saying that he couldn't find Iggy anywhere after searching for firewood together. Or making a bomb. I never can trust those two together.

"No... He's been blocking me out a lot, but so has Fang and sometimes you so I didn't think anything of it." Angel responded, and I sighed. "But I did pick up a lot of... raw emotion I guess."

"Like what?" I asked her, starting to get worried.

"Like... frusteration and sadness?" She said and that was all the convincing I needed.

"All right. Nudge, you're in charge. Fang and I will go look for Iggy."

"Why don't we all go Max? I mean, we could split up and we'd find him easier if we all went and looked for him and..." Nudge bit her lip and trailed off.

"Honey, look up. It's about to rain any second. And after that, it will start storming. It's to dangerous. Just... take care of everyone okay? Stay here until we come back." With that, I nodded at Fang and we flew out of the cave at the bottom of some moutain formation.

We flew and looked and called out his name but couldn't find him. The longer we looked, the more worried I got. Fang and I began to separate, despite the fact that it was storming out. I'm just happy the thunder and lightning shouldn't arrive for another half an hour. Hopefully we'll find him before then!

I checked up on Fang who was almost a mile away. He looked fine, so I continued scanning the ground and edge of whatever mountain range we were near. I think the Rockies.

Suddenly, I heard a shout come from Fang, and rushed over to him. He was flying toward what looked to be the mouth of a cave, banked, and disappeared. When I got there, I saw him kneeling over a body who was lying on the ground out in the rain. It must be Iggy.

"Max! Help me get him out of the rain!" Fang roared, it was the only way to hear each other over the howl of wind, rain, and non-stop thunder. We dragged him further into the rain, and I noticed Fang was holding a damp towel against Iggy's wrist, and I knew what happened. When we set him down, I quickly took off my jacket, and ripped it into a few pieces to be used as new towels. They were wet, but hopefully would do. Wordlessly, we swapped out the old towel with my wet jacket pieces. Fang didn't pause, but I caught a glimpse of the damage. Two cuts, both pretty new. One had just stopped bleeding, but the other was really deep.

While Fang tried to stop the bleeding, I got the first-aid kit from my backpack and pulled out some gauze wrap. We would treat it later, but now it just had to stop freaking bleeding. I also pulled out a big band aid thing and planned on putting that on first, then the wrap.

I leaned down and tried to see if Iggy was breathing. I panicked when I didn't feel his breath against my cheek, but settled when I faintly felt it. It was so light, his chest was barely even moving. Fang gave me a questioning look, and I nodded that he was breathing. He set back to work on switching out pieces of cloth. After what seemed like hours, his breathing became more noticeable and the blood flow slowed. It was still bleeding, but after further examination, Fang and I realized that he had cut so deep, the bone was almost showing. I'm just glad we got there when we did.

Fang pulled off the last piece of cloth, and we decided that it was okay to put on the bandage and wrap it up. While Fang wrapped it up, I pulled out the walkie talkie we bought a week or so ago, and called for Nudge. We could only hear half the words we spoke, but I told her we were all okay, and were waiting out the storm here. I trusted that she would take care of Angel and Gazzy fine for a few hours. After all, the Erasers were so depleted that they wouldn't be much of a threat to them.

Fang and I finished taking care of Iggy, started a small fire, then sat around it.

"I don't think he really meant to." I said out of nowhere. Fang gave me a questioning look.

"To what?" He finally asked me.

"To… uhh…" I wanted to say, 'to kill himself. To end it all.' but I simply couldn't bring my mouth to say those words. They were to scary to think about.

"To kill himself." I finally stammered out.

Silence from Fang. I think that means to go on. So I did.

"I mean, if he wanted to, he would of done it to both arms."

"He just got carried away." Fang said, and looked more distant than usual.

"But I don't understand. Why didn't he stop it from bleeding to much?" I asked him and didn't even expect an answer, but couldn't stop asking more questions. "Why did he start again? I don't get it!"

"Like I said. He just got carried away, then couldn't see reason to stop." Fang replied, and continued staring into the fire. It actually made sense. I don't know how Fang would know that, but it made sense. Maybe just because he thought things through more than I did.

After that we were both silent, watching the flames dance. I looked at Iggy's still form. We lied him near the fire so he wouldn't get to cold, but it was the middle of summer, and not very cold to begin with. He almost looked peaceful laying where he was… Like he belonged there. He shifted in his sleep, which is a good sign I think. Fang's eyes shifted toward him, and we waited to see if he would wake up. When he didn't move again, we went back to our own thoughts. I got tired of waiting, and stepped to the edge of the cave we were camped in to see how much longer we would be here. The sky was very dark when it wasn't lighting every 2 minutes, and thunder was like a bomb. But it looked like we would be here for another hour at least.

I sighed and walked back over to the fire. Soon after I sat down, Iggy shifted again, then his eyes fluttered open as if he could see out of them. We all sat still until Iggy finally spoke in a quiet, sad, voice.

"So. Who all is in here? Sounds like just Max and Fang."

"Yea. Just me and Fang." I answered him. Neither of us knew what to say. It's not like we're experienced in this stuff.

"I… I didn't mean to." He said regretfully.

"We know." Fang spoke as quietly as Iggy. We were quiet while we listened to the thunder that shook the sky.

"I thought I was getting better though." Iggy said when the worst of the thunder seemed to be over.

"Me too." I said, with a little to much… I don't know. Something was wrong with the way I said that.

"No." Fang interrupted just as I was finished. "You messed up once. That doesn't mean anything. It's not going to be easy to stop or anything. One little slip up… That doesn't mean you're not getting better. Cause you are."

He had a point. I hate it when he does that. But I also had to restrain myself from saying 'wow Fang, talkative today aren't we?' out loud.

"But I've gone two months without an incident. But I broke that. I cut. Deep… Really deep." Iggy said with hate that could only be directed at himself.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Fang is right. It's no big deal Iggy. Don't beat yourself up over one or two slip ups." I said, trying to help in some way.

"But you still should have told us." Fang added.

"I know okay?" Iggy said, and sounded really angry. "I couldn't help it! I had the chance, I felt like shit, I just left okay?" He was practically shouting at the end, and I really had no idea what to say to calm him down.

"Iggy we're not asking you to simply feel perfect out of nowhere." I finally said.

"We just want you to know that… next time just talk to us about it. Don't fly away and hurt yourself." Fang added, and Iggy seemed to calm down a little. He relaxed against the wall again.

"Hell I'd rather you even blow something up." I added, knowing that me actually letting him explode something for the sheer joy of it, would make him smile. Well it worked, he smiled a little and I think he even suppressed a little chuckle.

Hmm... Charaters a little more right? I hope so. That was the main problem I had with the first three chapters, so I tried to work on that.

Well, this is the end I guess. A happy ending at least. Well, the same kind of happy as the other 'ending' (chapter 3. I thought I was ending it there) So I hope it doesn't suck. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing and stuff. That makes me happy.

BUT, it's not over yet. Because I have to be the absolute wierdest writer out there, who just doesn't know when to end a story, there is a special bonus, alternate ending! yyaaayyy! It is the next chapter right down there, called alternate chapter 5. It basically completly re-does this chapter. With a completly diffrent ending. It's completly diffrent. As in, opposite. I hope you get what that means. If not, just go read it.

6. Alternate Chapter 5

Nudge was in charge back at the cave we found while Fang and I went searching for Iggy. We flew and looked and called out his name but couldn't find him. The longer we looked, the more worried I got. Fang and I began to separate, despite the fact that it was storming out. I'm just happy the thunder shouldn't arrive for another half an hour. Hopefully we'll find him before then!

I checked up on Fang who was almost a mile away. He looked fine, so I continued scanning the ground and edge of whatever mountain range we were near. I think the Rockies.

Suddenly, I heard a shout come from Fang, and rushed over to him. He was flying toward what looked to be the mouth of a cave, banked, and disappeared. When I got there, I saw him kneeling over a body who was lying on the ground out in the rain. It must be Iggy.

"Max! Help me get him out of the rain!" Fang roared, it was the only way to hear each other over the howl of wind, rain, and non-stop thunder. We dragged him further into the rain, and I noticed Fang was holding a damp towel against Iggy's wrist, and I knew what happened. When we set him down, I quickly took off my jacket, and ripped it into a few pieces to be used as new towels. They were wet, but hopefully would do. Wordlessly, we swapped out the old towel with my wet jacket pieces. Fang didn't pause, but I caught a glimpse of the damage. Two cuts, both pretty new. One had just stopped bleeding, but the other was really deep.

"He's bleeding to much." I said, and only got nothing from Fang. It was pretty obvious though. It was so deep, you could pretty much see the bone. Now, we're all pretty skinny and we don't have much to cut through to get to the bone, but still. That's a lot of blood loss. I doubt that even if he does make it through this, he won't be able to use that arm. I quickly checked for a breath. A pulse. Any sign of life. But he was not breathing, I couldn't feel his heartbeat, and he was dead limp.

"Fang he's not breathing." I said quickly, and started to freeze up. There was more blood on the ground than there was when Ari slashed up Fang, and we're miles away from any hospital or help. I have no idea how he had cut so deep in the first place!

Fang didn't answer me though. His face was white and rigid. We both knew the truth, no matter how hard we tried to stop the bleeding, we were loosing Iggy. But I didn't want to accept that. I couldn't! I did the only thing I knew that would have any chance of saving Iggy.

30 hard pushes on his chest.

2 breaths into his mouth

30 more pushes on his chest

2 more breaths into his mouth


"It's not working Fang!" I cried, absolutely scared to death. No matter how hard I tried, it wasn't working. He was done for.

"Keep trying." He ordered, sounding so much weirder than he ever has before. He was as pale as Iggy only still alive.

So I kept trying. But the bleeding wouldn't stop, his heart wouldn't start, and he just would live. Tears started to fall, and I don't think I even bothered to wipe them away. I just wanted Iggy to live. That's all any of us wanted.

I don't know how long I tried, but I eventually gave up. It was over. I couldn't physically hope to save Iggy. My brother. The one who hurt the most of all of us, killed himself. And we couldn't save him. I forgot all about the necessities to stay the night. I forgot to call Nudge and say we were okay, I forgot to start a fire, I forgot to do anything. All I could do was cry and wish Iggy would suddenly come back to life.

Fang was the same. Silent as always, but it wasn't impassive and Fang-like silent. It was sad, depressed, and 'why the hell did Iggy do this to himself' silent. He even shed a tear or two. And that's saying something coming from Fang.

Nudge called me over the walkie-talkie. She asked if everything was okay and that Angel and Gazzy had both fallen asleep at around midnight. I told her to just go to bed at that we'd be back in the morning. I couldn't bare to say the words, 'Iggy's dead'

"Why did he do it Fang? Why couldn't he just…" I could barley finish my sentences without sobbing. "Why couldn't he just talk to us?"

"I don't think he meant to." He said quietly. It was really dark now, I could just barely make out his outline.

"What? He's dead Fang, of course he meant to."

"No. If he meant to, he would have done it to both arms." That made sense though. But I really didn't care at the moment. I just… wanted him to be happy. He's my brother, we're family. When I got him to stop cutting, he still held everything, every pain, inside. I should have known. When he stopped, I assumed everything was okay. But it wasn't really. He still rarely talked to us about what was going on, but hid his pain behind a smile. He hung out with Gazzy more often, but didn't truly get as much enjoyment as before. I should have asked him to be himself, not hide behind a smile. I should have made him talk to us more often…

I shouldn't have believed that everything was just… okay. I shouldn't have expected him to be happy all of a sudden. I glanced at where Fang was supposed to be, but could barely see him. I simply cannot imagine what he must go through. Constantly on the run, not being able to see, he has no idea where he is going.

I was getting tired. I couldn't stay awake any longer, it had been hours what we were just sitting by Iggy's form and crying. Well, I did most of the crying but Fang helped a little. I lied down and stared up at nothing, trying to make sense of everything. Trying to figure out what must have been going through Iggy's head. The last thing I remember before drifting off to a sad sleep, is muttering to myself,

"Why couldn't he just… be happy?"

Well that's the ending ending. The other ending. Please, review and tell me which one you like more. I'd like to know. :)

Why I chose the original (the other chapter 5)... I chose that one because at the time that Fang and Max showed up, which was basically right as Iggy was passing out, they actually could have stopped the bleeding and let him live. And I personally think that maybe this one gets a little tedious... Maybe that's just me. What do you think...?

Okay I guess that's it. I really don't know how I can expand the story any more... Sooo... Anyway. Hope you guys liked it. Hope nobody like... cried at the end. Unless they were tears like "OH MY GAWD THIS IS SOOO BEAUTIFUL." .

-sigh- it has come to my attention from a reviewer who said something like "someone might read this and think it's okay to follow what Iggy did"
So, no. It's a fictional story. Not real. Don't do that. Bad. Very bad. Don't start or continue. K? :)