Hate by carino2

A/N If you haven't read Love yet, you should probably check that out before reading this. It might make things a bit more clear. It's short, I promise.
I also want to mention that I'm not quite as happy with this piece as I was with Love. If you have any suggestions at all on how you think I could make it better, please tell me. Harsh crits are appreciated, even if they happen to be in the form of flames. Thanks!

Ssh, don't cry, Max. It's okay. You're safe here, see? As safe as you've ever been. Safer than the times you thought you were okay. I promise, I won't touch you. No matter how much constraint it takes, I'm not going to lay a hand on you. I understand now why you pushed me away. It's all his fault, isn't it? Jeb's fault, I mean. You dared to be close to him and he betrayed you. I guess I knew that before, but what I didn't know was how close to him you'd been. I get it now. I wish I didn't.

It was your dreams that finally gave you away. Dreams—or should I say nightmares? When you woke up, I could tell you were scared. I'm not surprised you don't remember it. You acted like you were in shock, crying and crying and eventually falling asleep again in my arms. However, before you drifted off, you talked.

I couldn't believe—still can't, actually—that you kept something like that inside for so long. You're so strong, stronger than I'll ever be. I guess that's part of your allure, but you don't want to hear that, do you?

You must've been weaker back then, that's all I can figure. Were you really so starved for love and attention that you'd do anything to get it? No, don't answer that. I can't bear to hear you say it. But it's okay. If it makes you feel any better, I was like that, too. And I was so stupid not to notice what was going on. I can't believe I didn't. The signs were there, though you tried your best to hide them. I knew you were always closer to Jeb, but I failed to notice the significance of that. The two of you kept secrets, but I never would have guessed them in a million years. You were so young back then. We all were. But you weren't young enough to escape him, and not old enough to hold him off. Do you think it's your fault? It's not, you have to know that. There was no way for the rest of us to know, no reason to suspect. We trusted him with our lives, remember? That has to be the biggest mistake we ever made.

I understand now why you hate Jeb so much. I hate him, too. Before, I thought it was just his betrayal that shaped your loathing; now I know that it's so much more. Do you remember the day he left, Max? That was the first time you pushed me away when I was trying to comfort you. I thought you were just upset. But now I know the truth, and it's just another reason for me to hate him.

He disgusts me, and some way or another, he'll have to pay. You want to kill him. It's a…well, I shudder to say it's a worthy goal, but it's at least understandable. It's the last time in your life he'll ever make you feel good, isn't it? Well, if you could manage to do the deed. I know you won't be able to, though. You have too much heart to purposely kill anyone, even someone as bad as Jeb. I think that's why they made you the leader.

Me, I'm not so concerned about the state of my soul. Right now, I'm more concerned with you. So I promise you, Max, this one thing: You will never have to kill Jeb. I'll do it for you. I'll tear him down and take him apart piece by piece. I'll attack him and bury him so deep that he'll never haunt you again. I hate him for ruining you, and he's going to pay for what he did with his life. Then you can finally let go of everything that has happened.

I only ever wanted you to feel safe.