Fang's Retaliation: Backfire! by flYegurl

Disclaimer: Be thankful I don't own this series. Be very thankful.

Fang stood outside Iggy's room, Gazzy in tow.

"Why do I have to be here, again?" the Gasman whined softly.

"Because you're my secret weapon. I have to get Iggy back," Fang replied.

Gazzy moaned. "But these lines are just… sick," he choked. "I don't wanna say these things to Iggy."

"You're going to, or I'll tell Max that it was you who blew up her dresser."

Sighing, Gazzy nodded. "Okay, okay."

Fang quietly pushed open the door, and, making sure not to trip over anything on the way in, made his quiet way over by Iggy's bed. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, Fang brought his hand down to clasp over Iggy's mouth.

Iggy started awake, his blind eyes flashing opened. From under Fang's large hand, a muffled "Whuthefck?" was heard. Fang nodded towards Gazzy to start reading aloud.

"Iggy, don't scream," he said in Max's voice. Fang grinned inwardly at Iggy's wide-eyed expression and took his hand away from Iggy's mouth. Thanks to Gazzy's mimicking ability, he sounded exactly like Max. And he was throwing his voice, so it seemed as if it was coming from Fang.

"M-Max? What are you doing here?" Iggy asked blearily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, you know why," Gazzy answered, smoothly and foxily, as the script said he should. He shot a grimace at Fang, but Fang merely smirked and drew his finger across his neck as a warning. Do it, or feel Max's wrath.

"I do?" Iggy looked confused. Fang grinned, running his finger across Iggy's face in what could be called a loving way, if it weren't for the fact that Fang was doing it as a punishment for Iggy's previous prank.

"Of course you do," Gazzy said, again smoothly and foxily. "You know how much I want you."

"I do?" Iggy answered the same way, his expression the picture of bewilderment.

"Yeah, honey, you're just so…" Fang ran his fingers down along Iggy's face to reach his chest. "Sexy," Gazzy breathed.

"Uh, Max..?" Iggy said nervously as Fang brought his hand lower to trace circles along the taught muscles over Iggy's stomach.

"Yeah, baby?" Gasman whispered, his expression disgusted and glaring pointedly at Fang.

"I don't… have any feelings for you, you know that, right?"

"What? But I thought we loved each other!" Gazzy gasped, his eyebrows furrowing. Fang just grinned and brought his index finger to twirl inside Iggy's belly-button. Iggy flinched away from his touch, but he just persisted. This was perfect comeback.

"Max, I'm sorry, but you have Fang, don't you?" Iggy continued nervously. Fang himself smirked and jumped on the bed, pinning Iggy's arms over his head as he did so and straddling him.

"Oh, baby, but I want you." Gazzy looked like he was about to throw up.

"I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO COPE WITH FANG," Iggy shouted. Fang managed to clasp a hand over his mouth so the sound wasn't too loud. He leaned forward to breathe on Iggy's neck, bringing his lips closer as Gazzy continued.

"Sorry, Iggy baby, but I can't just give up when I'm carrying your child!"

Iggy looked horrified, his expression was priceless. Gazzy shot a sickened look towards Fang, who just grinned and shook his head.

"What the--! How are you carrying my child?!" Iggy gasped, shocked.

"I do things to you," the Gasman whispered. "At night. Pleasurable things. You like them."

Iggy seemed terrified, shrinking away from Fang, who was trying hard not to burst with laughter.

"Max! I thought… you promised! You said you'd stop doing stuff to me! I said I didn't like it, so you said you'd stop…"

Fang freezes. What? He exchanged shocked expressions with Gazzy.

Iggy's face crumples. "You already harassed me, abused me before, but rape? I thought that was below you, Max. You never went any further than Frenching usually. I didn't think you'd go this far…"

Gazzy seems horrified, and Fang is startled. What the heck was Iggy talking about?

Iggy seems to have realized something. "Was this why my legs were hurting last week, Max? And all my muscles were sore… what have you been doing, drugging me? I usually can't sleep through it… Ah! This must be why… why I caught you with that home-pregnancy test last Sunday… Max, you said it was nothing! You said you were trying it as a joke!"

"B-b-but…" Gazzy stumbles, still in Max's voice, though it cracks and loses its foxy tone.

It looks like Iggy has started to cry. Tears run thickly down his face. "Max, is that all I am to you? Some kind of sex toy? You said it'd stopped, you promised… you said I was like your brother! Do you harass and rape all your brothers, Max?!"

Gazzy turns and bolts out of the room, Fang hard on his heels. They both burst into Max's room, breathing heavily even though it wasn't much of a workout, and start speaking gibberish at the same time.

"MAX!" Gazzy yells through a small amount of his own tears. "MAX!"

"What?" Max asks, turning. It looked like she, Nudge and Angel were playing Monopoly.

"Max, why'd you do it?" Fang wonders sadly.

"Do what? What'd I do? What's going on?" Max looked bewildered.

"WHY DID YOU RAPE IGGY?" Fang shouted.

"WHY DID I WHAT?" Max shouted back.

"Max raped Iggy?" Nudge asked, horrified.

"NO!" Max answered in response. "Fang, where the HELL did you get that idea?"

"YEAH, YOU DID!" Fang yelled. "YOU SNUCK INTO HIS ROOM AT NIGHT AND DRUGGED HIM, THEN RAPED HIM WHILE HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS! YOU'RE PREGNANT!"

"WHAT THE HELL, FANG! HOW THE HELL DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT?"

"What's rape?" Angel asked innocently.

"You don't need to know, honey," Max growled, glaring at Fang.

"Ooh… too bad, I just got the definition from Fang's mind… does that really happen to people? Did you really do that to Iggy? Are you really pregnant?"

Max glowered at Fang. "No, honey. I did not do that to Iggy. And no, I am not pregnant. And Fang..." Her voice was quiet, deadly. "You are in big trouble."

"What? You… you didn't rape Iggy?" Fang stuttered, embarrassed.

"NO, OF COURSE I DIDN'T! NOW YOU GET YOUR BUTT INTO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE UNTIL I TELL YOU TO COME OUT! YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT WITH US TO THE CARNIVAL TOMORROW, AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT EATING ANYTHING FOR A WEEK BUT CABBAGE AND STEWED TOMATOES!"

Fang was chased out of the room, followed by a few fragile baubles from Max's bedside table that had been thrown in his direction. They smashed against the wall.

Fang stumbled down the hall towards his bedroom… and noticed muffled laughter from inside Iggy and Gazzy's room.

He stuck his head inside to see Iggy, sitting up in bed with a tearless face and an expression of pure glee. He turned his head in Fang's direction, grinning ear to ear.

"You know, you're footsteps are different than Max's, right?" he said. "And your hands are a lot rougher. Plus, Max is a lot lighter. Be thankful for the diet she just put you on."

Fang grimaced at Iggy and opened his mouth, prepared to shout insult and torment at the blind mutant bird-kid, but at that moment Max stuck her head through her doorframe, turned towards him, and shouted "FANG! I SAID TO GET INTO YOUR ROOM!"

Fang sighed and stalked away, glowering, and planning his latest revenge. Might want to be a little more careful this time.

I'm sorry if I've just scarred you. That was some pretty disturbing content.

Feel free to flame.

Reviews are dearly appreciated.

Hope you liked it.

REVIEW. FOR THE BABY'S SAKE.

*Baby with Max's eyes and mouth and Iggy's nose and hair waves innocently with a cute expression of loooooove*

Fang---"I THOUGHT MAX WASN'T ACTUALLY PREGNANT!"

Me---"…"