The Many Meanings of Cookies by EdwardAddict

A/N: I think this idea came about when I was discussing Cullen Cookies with Patch (who thinks he's Edward Cullen). This will stay a oneshot. So there. -sticks tongue out-

Disclaimer: I do not own Max Ride.

Claimer: I own this plot, this story, AND cookies.

The Many Meanings Of Cookies

Max's POV

Cookies. Mmm... I haven't had good cookies in nearly two years - since I saved Ella from those bullies in Arizona. I went on a quest to find their equal, but the best I could do had too much chocolate.

I finally had access to a computer so I decided to check up on cookie recipes. I typed "cookies" into a search engine, hoping for something good, easy to make, and cheap. What I got was somewhat similar to that.

The first result was a blog by a girl that went by Cookie Crazy. She must know something good, I thought. I clicked the link and waited for the page to load.

The background had a boy with golden eyes with chocolate chip cookies surrounding him. The words "We all want us some Cullen cookies" were written on the top of the page. That's a weird name for a cookie...

I read through, becoming more and more horrified by the second. It's not exactly what you must be thinking. The recipe doesn't call for worms or blood or anything like that. But what it really said was much, much more...icky.

Cullen Cookies

1 Awesomely Hot Vampire

1 "Needy" Girl

1 Queen-sized Bed

Remove clothing from vampire and girl. Stir up batter. Make cookies. ;-P

Ok. Seriously weird. Scary. I have a feeling she's not talking about chocolate chip cookies...

I waved Fang over to me after closing the window. "Yea?" he grunted.

"Fang? I'm craving some cookies. Maybe we should rent a hotel room. There would be a kitchen there. Maybe we could try to make some. I bet you're a brilliant cook underneath it all." Now, I'm leaving it up to you, the reader, to guess what kind of cookies I'm talking about. Here's a hint: I'm not talking about sex.

"Yea. Sure. But I'm not wearing an apron," Fang replied.

I gathered the Flock and exited the library. After searching the small town, we came across a small motel. I paid for three rooms - the only three they had available.

"Okay, guys. Let's split up." Does that sound like Fred from Scooby-Doo or what?

Angel and Nudge took the first key, Iggy and Gazzy the second. I suppose that leaves me with Fang. Yay! I mean...Erm. Crap?

Maximum, it's only natural for you to have feelings for Fang. Your avian DNA is kicking in. You've begun the process of finding a mate. I believe that Fang will end up being said mate.

You're kidding me. I'm only 16! I can't even vote yet! Not that I would, but still! I can't drive! I'm...I...I can't!

Maximum. You're sixteen. Do you know how many girls your age have opened their cookie jars?

Don't tell me I'm going to get the sex talk from the voice in my head!

It needs to be done, Maximum. You'll see tonight.

Tonight? What's going to happen tonight?!

And silence from Mr. Voice. Perfect. Actually, it is wonderful that it finally shut up. Could life get any better?

And cue a nearly naked Fang walking in. That's right. You can read. Fang came in the room with only a towel around his waist.

I made a sound that could only be classified as a mew.

"Max? Are you okay?"

I nodded and mewed again. What's wrong? I fluttered over to him, wings spread. I walked all around him, examining him.

"Max? Seriously. What's up? Hey! That was my butt! Ok! Ah! That's my towel! God, Max! Holy crap! Leave that alone! No! That's attached! What the heck...?"

Fang finally began to respond. He got a weird glint in his eye and started making a chirping noise. Oh Lordy, the Voice was right!

I'm glad you finally realized that, Maximum.

Shut up.

And surprisingly, it did. Yay!

To my utter horror and embarrassment, I moaned out "God, Fang. I really want some cookies..."

"I think we can arrange that."

Ok. We ended changing the recipe a tid bit.

Fax Cookies

1 Awesomely Hot Bird Boy

1 Bird Girl

1 Twin-sized Motel Bed

Remove clothing from bird kids. Stir up batter. Make cookies.

But I do believe we changed it for the better.

Needless to say, I love my two percent avian DNA and its odd habits. I do believe I shall always carry a soft spot for the many meanings of cookies as well.

A/N: I would like to point out that those cookies are "good, easy to make, and cheap" ;-)

Like I said, random idea. Hope you liked it.

Suggestions are welcome, reviews are love.