Boy Turns to Girl and Vice Versa by flYegurl

Category:Maximum Ride
Genre:Drama, Humor
Published:2010-02-14 16:23:35
Updated:2010-09-28 15:51:00
Packaged:2021-04-22 01:19:32
Summary:When the Flock wakes one morning, everything has changed. Be ready for Iggy and Fang in panties! Max and Nudge in boxers! Gazzy in a pink ruffled dress and a bald Angel! It's all in here... Rated for profanity and some mature content. Miggy, Figgy! ON PERMANENT HIATUS.

Table of Contents

1. And so it begins
2. Balls
3. Shopping
4. Iggy
5. Teenage girls
6. Randomness
7. I'm a Girl Now
8. Taste the Rainbow
12. Deja Vu
13. The Blonde and the Emo
14. Basilisks and Rampaging Lions
15. Nighttime
16. Close Encounters of the Nighttime
17. Get Your Head out of the Gutter
18. Mohawks and Side Bangs and Layers, Oh My
19. Lesbian Crushes and Fashion Thoughts
20. Magnificent Handlebar Mustaches

1. And so it begins

And here it is… a story to remember. As with my others, I randomly came up with the idea. I actually came up with it while reading someone else's fanfic… forgot who'd or the title, but thanks. And I promise this is in no way copying, it is totally different. It just inspired me.

And without further ado…

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride.

The Flock huddles around the object.

"What is it?" Gazzy asks cautiously.

"I don't know," Max answers.

"Wow! It looks so weird!" Nudge exclaims.

"I know, right?" Iggy replies sarcastically. His blind eyes are open, staring in the direction of the object.

"Sorry," Nudge says sheepishly. "It, like, looks like a big metal exercise ball. It's glowing green, and it has tons of lights flashing. It's about three feet high."

Iggy nods, now having some idea of the image of this mysterious object.

"Should we tell mom?" Max asks, staring at the object.

"I dunno. It is in her back yard. But it would be a problem for police to come and find this."

"So, should we move it or something?" Gazzy asks in response to Iggy's statement.

"I'm not sure," Fang answers. "What if it's dangerous?"

"Here!" Angel solves the problem, handing Fang a long, wooden pole.

"Where'd you get this?" he asks.

"Dr. Martinez's garden shed."

Fang nods, and reaches the pole to gently prod the object.

It explodes.

"Eeew!" Nudge yelps, trying to wipe off the green goo that now coats her.

"What the Hell is this?" Iggy asks, running his finger over the layer in his hair.

"Gross! This is like, so disgusting! It's so sick! Ugh!" Nudge replies.

The object is gone. And suddenly, just as soon as the goo coated them, it melts away.

"Well that solved the shower issue," Max says.

"What solved the shower issue?" Iggy asks.

"The goo that was on us just vanished, and the object is gone too!" Gazzy answers his best friend.

"That also answers the issue of telling Max's mom," Fang nods.

"So what are we going to do?"

Max shrugs. "Nothing's here anymore. Let's just go inside and do what we normally do."

"Yeah! Iggy and Gazzy shout simultaneously. Iggy slaps Gaz a high-five with astoundingly perfect aim. "Bombs away!"

"You--!" Max starts, but the two kids have vanished into the house.

"Come on, Max," Angel tugs at her sleeve.

Max sighs. "Okay."

That night, the Flock sleeps peacefully.


Ugh. When I wake up, I feel weird. Maybe it was staying up till three, locked in a game of monopoly with Fang and Iggy. Iggy had won, but that was normal.

My chest feels lighter for some reason. Huh. My pajamas feel too small. I couldn't have grown overnight, could I?

I stand and stretch. Huh. That's weird.

There's something in between my legs…

Fang POV

I don't know why, but I feel strange. I wake up as usual. My shirt is tighter than when I went to sleep.

I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Then I stand and go to dress.

Something's missing down there…

What the heck..?

Iggy POV

I wake up, my chest rather heavy. My shirt is tight. My pants are loose.

Which is all very weird.

I stand and stumble to the door, and open it. I walk across the hall and feel along for the doorknob. I open the door to the bathroom.

I lock the door and brush my hair. I brush my teeth. Then I go over to the toilet and make sure the lid is up.

I start to unzip my pants.

Something's missing.


Nudge POV

I wake up when Iggy shouts. His voice sounds different for some reason.

I stand hurriedly, wondering if he's hurt. What happened?

I'm not in much clothes though, so I go to hurriedly get dressed.

My chest is a lot lighter. And something is in between my legs.

I pull a shirt and baggy pants on, not wanting to wait to see what's wrong with Iggy.

Gazzy POV

Iggy! That was Iggy's shout! But his voice sounds lighter than usual. What happened?

I jump out of my bed, which is next to Iggy's. His bed is empty. He must be in the bathroom.

I don't feel all that different, but something is going on with my pants. They feel a lot looser.

I pull the door open and rush across the hall to the bathroom door, tugging at the knob.

"Iggy! What's wrong?"


"Iggy! Did something happen? Are you hurt?"

I pull at the doorknob again. It's locked.

"Open the door, Iggy?"

"What's going on?" Nudge asks worriedly from behind me. Her voice sounds weird too. Deeper, like she has a cold.

"What's up here?" Max asks from behind.

"Something's going on with Iggy!" I tell her.

Angel POV

I wake up when everyone starts shouting outside my room. I hear Gazzy and Max and Nudge arguing outside the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" I hear Fang join them.

"It's Iggy!" Gazzy informs.

I jump out of bed and over to the door. I feel weird, too, just a little. My underwear is tight.

"What's wrong?" I ask innocently. The four of them have been totally ignoring each other, simply staring at the bathroom door. I gasp when I see all of them. They turn to me. Their eyes widen.

They turn to look at each other with wide eyes.

The bathroom door bangs open, and they turn to look at Iggy.

Then we all start shouting.

And there it is. Cliffy, huh? x laughs evilly x Don't worry, I'll start on chappie two right away! This is my third Maximum Ride fanfic. Please review on this story! What do you think? Did you like..? Hat..? Please tell!


2. Balls

And so it continues! I rather liked the fact that mere hours after posting, I had reviews! With my other story, reviews only started coming at, like, chapter six. So, here the story goes! I hope you're all laughing your butts off, 'cause I sure am.

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.


We're all staring at each other with a mixture of disbelief, shock, and horror. Iggy has just opened the bathroom door so hard, I could have sworn I heard the hinges snap. He stands there in the doorway, his hands on either side of the frame, his blind eyes wide and unseeing.


(I have to admit, that is so far my favorite line)

I can in no way explain the effect of Iggy's… um… statement. But as soon as he shouted, we all panicked.

"AAAAAAA! I have balls!" Nudge screams, throwing her hands in the air. "WHY DO I HAVE BALLS?" She screams again, grabbing the front of Fang's shirt only to swiftly release, having grabbed something… more.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Fang shouts, looking down at his distinctly un-Fanglike body.

"What happened to me?" Iggy asks, panicked. "What the fuck happened? And what the fuck are these?" he grabs at his chest.

Which has somehow changed… a lot overnight.

We all have.

Angel POV

"Okay, so lets all just sit down and calmly discuss this… um…" Max starts, sounding utterly terrified and absolutely not calm.

"What's to discuss?" Gazzy asks worriedly. "I'm not a GUY anymore!"

"SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" Iggy shouts, slamming his… her… his… um, fists on the kitchen table. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME? WHAT CHANGED?"

Nudge stares at him worriedly.

"You're a girl," I tell him. "And so are Fang and Gazzy."

"Oh, so now I apparently had a sex change operation overnight! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRLS?"

"We're all boys now," I tell him. Nudge and Max shudder slightly.

"Uh…" Fang says. "So Max, how are we gonna work this out?"

Max kneads her forehead with her palm. She shakes her head worriedly. "Balls," she mutters.

"Uh, am I gonna have to be a girl for the rest of my life?" Gazzy asks. Max turns to look at him.

"I dunno, Gaz. Maybe, we'll all have to stay like this forever! Maybe I'll have to be a boy forever, and I'll never be a girl again, and I'll have to go out and buy boxers, and Iggy and Fang are going to go get bras, and…"

Iggy slaps his forehead. "Bras? As in I've got… um, breasts?"

Fang giggles helplessly.

Wait a second. Back up. In all my seven years of life, I have never once heard Fang giggle.

Iggy scowls at him. "Hey, Nudge said you needed a bra too."

That shuts him… her… up.

"Okay," Iggy breathes. "So… what did this?"

"Oh!" Nudge exclaims. "It must have been that thing from the backyard, that exploded goo everywhere!"

"Yeah," Fang agrees. "So, we just need some more of that goo, and we'll be back to normal!"

Max sighs. "Fang, that goo all disappeared. So did that object."

We all stare around.

And the door opens.

Dr. Martinez had been out on a business trip for three days. And she decided to return now?

"I'm ho-ome! Max, where are all you guys?"

She walks into the kitchen and sets her bag on the floor, standing and stretching, running the back of her hand over her forehead.

Then she opens her eyes and looks at us.

She gasps and stumbles backward.


Iggy turns and frowns at us. "Why did she only notice me?"

"Because you've become more noticeably girly than Fang or Gazzy," Max answers.


Max sighs. "And I guess I'm the most noticeably boy one."

Dr. Martinez faints.


My mom sits slumped at the kitchen table as we surround her.

"So you're telling me that a mysterious object sprayed slime on you, and the next morning you all woke up a different gender?"

"Uh… yeah, I guess," I answer.

She rubs the bridge of her nose.

"So I'm assuming this object is gone?"


"So there's no way to change you guys back?"

"Um… not that we know of."

She sighs again. "So I guess you all need to go shopping."


She looks up. "Well, from what I can see, you and Nudge and Angel aren't gonna want to wear panties with your newfound… manliness, and Iggy is probably like a D, and…"

"WHAT?" Iggy interrupts. "I'M BIGGER THAN MAX WAS?"

"Um, yes. Actually, you're bigger than me."

"No friggin' way," he pleads. "How am I a bigger girl than Max ever was? I'm a boy, for fucking sake!"

"I suppose it's your genes," Dr. Martinez tries to comfort.


"What about me?" Fang asks. Dr. Martinez looks at him.

"Fang, you're not even a B."

"HA!" Fang laughs, slapping Iggy's back. Iggy winces.

"Isn't that a bad thing, if you're a girl?" Nudge asks.

"HA!" Iggy laughs back, punching Fang's arm.

"Of course, Iggy, it's not necessarily a good thing for you to make a good girl. It makes you less of a man."

"Burn!" I laugh.

"That is so not fair," Iggy moans.

"So, when are we going shopping?" Gazzy asks excitedly. "I really really wanna, like, try on a bunch of clothes! I think purple is my color, don't you?"

Nudge stares at him for a moment. "Why would you want to go shopping? It's really boring. You just throw on a bunch of cloth and buy it, then next thing you know you're an inch taller and have to go shopping again."

I look back and forth between the two. This is backwards. This is really backwards. The conversation should be going vice-versa.

"We should go shopping today," my mom sighs.

"First," Iggy says, holding up a hand. "I want to know what we all look like."

"What?" Nudge asks.

"I'm blind," he continues. "I don't know what the fuck I look like, and I really want to know what you all look like now."

"Okay, Iggy," Angel agrees. "You are a very pretty girl. Much prettier than Fang."

"Hey!" Fang protests.

"You have a nice, curvy body, and big hips, and you're thin, and you have great legs, and really, really big b---"

"Okay, okay, enough about me," Iggy stops her, blush coloring his… her… pale cheeks.

You know what? I'm now calling everyone who's technically a boy a boy, and who's technically a girl a girl. Therefore, me, Angel and Nudge will now be "he" and Iggy, Fang and Gazzy will be "she." Now no more confusion.

"Fine," Angel says sweetly. "And Fang is okay. Basically, he just shrank three inches and got a bigger chest."

Nudge stifles a laugh, and Iggy giggles, elbowing Fang in the ribs.

"So, Gazzy didn't change much either, since he's too young to have breasts, and I didn't really change much, but now Nudge and Max don't have breasts and they've got hairy legs."

Iggy presses his palm to his sightless eyes. "Okay. Now I've got pictures in my mind that I didn't really want…"

"Okay!" mom says sweetly. I really don't know how all this is happening so fast.

I glance down at myself. I remember how I used to look. I look at Iggy, who in truth is much prettier than I had been.

And Fang is really not to hot.

"Let's go shopping!" mom finishes.

"Yay!" Gazzy jumps up.

We walk out and load into mom's van.

And we're off!

Wow. Chapter two was really weird. It just sort of wrote itself… and to tell the truth, it sort of creeps me out. x Nervous laugh x.

By the way, Iggy being a really hot and "good" girl has nothing to do with anything. Even though I love Figgy, and I have nothing against any girly-type guys, I just don't picture Iggy like that. All I think is that Iggy should be just as hot as a girl as he is as a boy.

Whereas Fang is a [scarring profanity]. So I have no trouble in making him a stupid girl.

Please review! Tell me how you like it! But PLEASE no flames. Flames aren't nice.

3. Shopping

And here is what we've all been waiting for… shopping! I have several… interesting events planned. By the way, thanks to all my readers! I didn't expect this story to be so popular, but I've got all these emails saying "story was added to favorites" and "story was added to story alert" and blah blah blah. So, thanks! And please review. It gives me insight to what I should do next! Have any funny or weird ideas? Review 'em!

Disclaimer: Everyone better thank Buddha that I don't own Maximum Ride.

Fang POV

We all feel rather awkward, walking into the mall. Mostly because we're a different gender than we're supposed to be. So I can see a group of hot girls, and start to wink, but then realize that I'm a girl too.

It's rather confusing.

"Okay. So, I'll take the… um, boys to get new clothes. Fang, go ahead and take Gazzy and Iggy to the girls' section."

I can honestly say that never, in my whole life, did I think that one day I'd be shopping in the girls' section.

Dr. Martinez points the direction with a strange look on her face, and I start walking. After a moment, though, I realize Iggy's not following.

I turn around with Gazzy at my side to see Iggy standing right where we left… um, her, with confusion written across her face.

I walk back. "What's up?"

Iggy jumps. "Huh? Oh, I, uh, don't really know your footsteps. You sound different now."

I stare at the blind kid for a moment. Iggy standing nervously, her head turned in my direction, picking at the sleeve of her shirt.

(I have to admit, calling Iggy and all of them "her" is freaking me out."

Sighing, I take Iggy's hand. She blushes as I start leading her back towards the girls' clothes section.

As we walk, we pass the boys' clothes. I notice some of them staring at us with interest, mostly at Iggy. I really don't want to be flirted with by, you know, guys, so I hurry past.


Pink and Purple.

And a slight variety of other colors.

God, I can tell why Max hates shopping in the girls' section.

"Um, Gazzy, go ahead over there," I nod her in the direction of the younger kids' clothes. "I'll help Iggy find stuff."

Gazzy bounds away happily and starts to examine a variety of pink blouses and dresses and skirts. I really don't get that kid. It sort of seems like Nudge and Gazzy switched personalities.

"Okay," Iggy says, pulling me forward. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to get. What does this stuff look like?" She puts her hand on a rack, and swiftly pulls it away. "PINK?!"

I laugh. "Yeah."

Iggy turns his head this way and that, as if looking around. "See any blue, green, red..?"

I crane my neck. "Um, yeah, here…"

I lead Iggy over to an area devoid of pink, and leave her to sort through the clothes.

"Wait!" Iggy calls me back.


"Um…" Iggy's blushing. "Are we supposed to get stuff, to make us girly and shit?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so. Okay, so this is shirts. Call me when you've got stuff picked out, and we can go look at jeans…"

I look around myself. I manage to find a decent amount of attractive black tops, and turn to head back towards Iggy.

Iggy's clutching a bundle of shirts and standing, looking sort of lost. I grab her arm.

"Hey," she says.

"This way, let's go pick jeans."

After an assortment chosen in about ten minutes, I lead Iggy to the changing rooms.

"Do you need me to..?"

"No!" Iggy objects, blushing furiously. "I don't need you to help me get dressed! What do you think I've done every morning for the past, I dunno, eight years?"

"Okay, okay! No need to get so defensive!"

"Hmph," Iggy turns up her nose.

I put her into a stall and take my own. After about five minutes, I've tried on every outfit.

Iggy's still in her stall. "Iggy? I'm gonna go get Gazzy. I'll be right back."

"Sure," I hear Iggy answer.

I find Gazzy as she exits the little girls' changing area. She's clutching a stack of mostly pink garments.

"Those fit?"

"Yup!" Gaz answers happily.

"Okay. Let's go back and get Iggy, then meet up with Dr. Martinez and… the rest."

Iggy's done when we get back, so we carry our chosen clothes back down to the boys' section.

They're all sitting there, waiting impatiently.

"Finally!" Nudge exclaims, jumping up. "This is so boring!"

Dr. Martinez looks through our assortments. "What about underwear?"

We all blush simultaneously. "Oh, yeah."

She forces us all to run back and pick out underwear. It's kind of embarrassing, picking out panties.

When we return, Max, Nudge and Angel each have brand-new stacks of boxers. Gazzy bears a pack of assorted monkey-panties, while Iggy and I both got black.

"Okay, we're ready," Dr. Martinez decides. She pays for the stuff, then turns around. "Now, Max, I need you to take Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel somewhere. Here," she hands her twenty bucks. "Go down to the food court and get something to eat. Iggy, Fang and I will meet you there later. I have… to take them somewhere."

Max shrugs and grabs the green bill his mom's holding out, and the four kids turn to stalk off.

"Where are we going?" Iggy asks as Dr. Martinez leads me through the store, while I lead Iggy.

"We're getting you two fitted," she tells us.

"Fitted for what?"

I'm afraid I already know what.

Rows upon rows of… bras.

Dr. Martinez walks us up to a counter. "These two need to get fitted."

The woman behind the counter runs her eyes across my chest, then turns them to Iggy's. Her eyes widen.

"They've never been fitted before," Dr. Martinez explains.

"Never?" the lady asks incredulously, pointedly gazing at Iggy's chest.

"Yep. Could you please take this one first?" Dr. Martinez pushes me forward.

"Of course," the lady says, turning to take me over to a fitting room.

It's creepy, alone in this room with only the woman.

"Please remove your shirt," the woman says.


"Take off your shirt. I'll need to measure you."

Hesitantly, I pull my shirt over my head. I say hesitantly, because I have nothing on underneath.

The lady pulls out a tape measurer and wraps it around under my… chest. Then, on my chest.

"Fine. I'm going to get you a selection. Just relax, and I'll be right back."

I can't relax.

The woman returns in several minutes, bearing a range of bras.

"You are a 38A," she tells me. "Now, would you rather a bra with padding, under-wire, full covering..? Wonder bra..?"

I shudder visibly. "Um, f-f-full cover," I stutter.

The next ten minutes pass like a nightmare, as the lady practically feels me up and hooks bras around my chest. Eventually, I am forced to choose three.

I return to Iggy and Dr. Martinez pretty shaken. Dr. M takes the bras I'm holding.

"Okay, could you take this one now? By the way, she's, um, blind, so could you please tell her everything so you don't… surprise her?"

The lady nods, looking with renewed interest at Iggy. Iggy looks embarrassed and worried.

The lady leads her away, back into the fitting room. Dr. Martinez walks back to the counter and pays for my bras to a different woman.

Right about then, I hear Iggy shouting.


I giggle under my breath as Iggy pauses.


Somehow the woman manages to shut her up. She comes back out in a minute, grabbing some bras and returning.

After a time frame much longer than it took for me, Iggy returns looking sullen. The bras she bears are quite a bit larger than mine.

"What size are you, big boy?" I nudge her. Iggy scowls.

"Uh… what about you?"


"Um… 36DD," Iggy answers, blushing.


After paying for Iggy's, we return with our new bag to the food court. Max, Gazzy, Nudge and Angel are munching happily on hot-dogs and cookies.

"Okay y'all, how about you go get dressed?"

It's more of an order than a question, actually. She shoves each of our shopping bags in our faces and pushes each into the proper bathroom.

I pull on a long-sleeved black shirt with a cute little skull in the bottom corner, as well as a pair of dark jeans.

Then I remember the bras, take off the shirt, and successfully manage to hook one on. I pull up the straps and put my shirt back on.

I exit the stall and look at myself in the mirror. I do look like a girl, now. I'm several inches shorter than before. My face is softer, more 'girlish.' I have my barely-noticeable chest, and a smaller, curvier frame. But other than that, I look like myself. That comforts me a bit.

Gazzy's there when I turn around, and when I see her I'm so shocked I almost stumble. She's wearing blue barrettes in her blond hair. I notice that none of our hair grew overnight, so mine is still merely a bit past my ears and Gazzy's is in a pixie-cut.

Gazzy is also wearing a pink dress, with a ribbon around her waist and ruffles all over the skirt.

Which is something I would picture Angel in, but not Gazzy.

"Iggy?" I call.


"You ready?"

"Fucking bra… no, I'll be right out."

"'Kay. Me and Gazzy'll go get hot dogs for us."

I walk out with Gazzy and get five bucks from Dr. Martinez. Nudge and Angel are out already, waiting for Max. Nudge has on a baggy blue T-shirt with a white stripe, and faded, even baggier jeans. Angel's wearing cargo-shorts and a tight-ish shirt.

Gazzy and I get our hot dogs and walk back to the rest. We have one for Iggy, too, heaped with mustard like he… she likes it.

Max is out, wearing simply jeans and a T-shirt like Nudge. I turn and see the most stunning thing in my life.

It's a mega-hot girl. I would totally be all over her, asking her out, if I was still a boy right now. This chic is wearing a tight, sleeveless shirt, soft yellow with green, leafy ivy pictured wrapping around it. And a sweet chest. On her wrist are five bracelets. She has on super-tight skinny jeans, the color of blue cotton candy. Holding them up is a soft leather belt with a silver buckle. Converse shoes complete the picture, blue with splatter paint, laced tightly over her feet. I look up, wanting to get a better picture of the chic's features. Glossy, strawberry-blond hair, a few inches past her shoulders. Soft pink lips. Long eyelashes, high cheeks.

Cloudy, icy-blue eyes.

Oh, God, it's Iggy.

Ok. So terribly, dreadfully sorry for scarring you people for life. I pity you, I really, really do.

Hope you liked it! And as I said before, any funny ideas for the story or suggestions, review them to me!

If not, just review. I enjoy them.

4. Iggy

So I've FINALLY decided to sit down and write the next chappie! Sorry it took so long, I'm updating four other fics at the same time :{ VERY stressful. But I won't make you wait any longer!

And here goes!

Disclaimer: I've already told you THREE times.

Iggy POV

Okay. For a second, sit there, and imagine exactly what I tell you.

You're a wicked-awesome blind pyro, who can make bombs, pick locks, and, oh yeah, fly. You also happen to be a guy. You're probably decent-enough looking; not better than your semi-brother, who is always explained as "tall, hot and dark, with silky black hair and liquid black eyes."

Okay, sue me, but I happen to be at least half a foot taller than Mister "Tall," Dark and Handsome.

Ranting aside, I---I mean you---are a wicked-awesome blind pyromaniac. You have wings. You're a mutant bird kid. You love strawberry ice-cream. You love popcorn and hot-dogs. You love mustard.

You wake up one morning, walk into the bathroom, reach down, and realize something VITALLY IMPORTANT is missing.

To be replaced by something you have never, ever felt or seen (ha ha) before.

And to realize that it feels as if fifty-pound weights are hanging off your chest.

What do you do?

Relax. Sit back and admit that nature can do the freakiest things, but it's all "God/Buddha/Zeus/whatever's" will.


Die, right there, your head falling into the toilet.

Shrug and carry on, even though you now apparently have to actually sit on the toilet (xD)


If you chose A or D, you have some serious mental problems. You would honestly react by doing practically nothing?!

If you chose B or C, you're on the right track. After all, they'd probably be quite natural reactions.

If you chose E, though, you're right on the ball.

Sigh. Balls.

If you have been following along with the story, you have probably, by now, recognized the above as the basis for the… second chapter?

So, yeah. This past day has been the weirdest of my life.

Now, I'm waiting a few feet away from Max, Angel, Nudge and Dr. Martinez, not really doing anything and waiting for Fang and Gazzy to return with my hot-dog.

"Hey Iggy!" I hear Gazzy pipe up, and turn with a reminiscing smile.

"Hey," I answer.

"Hi, Iggy," Fang mumbles, sounding slightly strained.

"Yo, Fangalina."

"That's not my name!"

"Sure fits now, though, don't it?"

Fang seems to struggle with his words for a moment, but eventually manages a muffled "Fuck you."

I laugh.

"So you three, you have your food now, right? What d'ya say we hit the mall?"

"We already did that," Nudge reminds Dr. Martinez. I can hear the doctor waving her hand dismissively.

"Yeah, but this time, let's do it the right way."

"What's the right way?" Gazzy asks interestedly.

"Well, we can go looking anywhere, and by stuff on whim. Stuff that'll make you… happy? Like make-up, or sports stuff, or a new game for you guys' DS, or something."

"Ah!" I hear Nudge exclaim. "Finally! Something fun."

Dr. Martinez laughs. "So where do you guys want to head first? We can go by the miscellaneous…"

"Sounds like a plan," Max nods.

"Let's go!" I hear Gazzy crow, and I reach out to take someone's hand…

Only to realize that they've all walked off.

Leaving me alone.

And blind.

And in the middle of an unrecognizable location.

And utterly lost.

"Shit," I curse to myself. Did they really just forget I was blind? That was unlike any of them. Then again, at the moment, none of them were like normal.

I take a deep breath. I can hear people moving around me. I could ask one of them where miscellaneous was, but I still would be lost. I wouldn't know turns, or railings, or escalators or anything. I suppose I could ask for help from a guard or something, but that would be really embarrassing and I wasn't used to being dependant.

I back up quickly, my hands feeling behind me until they hit the wall. I lean back against it and breathe.

Okay. They're sure to realize I'm not with them, and realize what happened. Then they'll come right back here, and I'll be waiting. Just have to stay put.

I sigh tiredly, remembering that I'd left my hot-dog on a plastic table eight and three quarters feet ahead of me. I slowly reached out my arms, making sure no one was in my way.

About halfway out, they hit someone's chest.

I gasp and pull away. Someone was standing less than two feet from me, and had probably been doing so for a while now.

"Hey girlie. Ya lost?" a deep voice asks humorously.

"N-no," I answer forcefully.

"Oh really? Ya sure?"


"Then I'll just let you be on your way."

I stand there for a moment. "Um…"

I can hear the sneer on his face. "Thought so."

Then laughter. About five or six other people are also close by, surrounding me in a semi-circle with my back to the wall.

"Hey, sweet stuff, if yer lost ya can just say so," the teen---who sounds about three years older than me---soothes. "I'll help you find your way."

Okay, my mind is reeling. Mostly from this thought: Why the fuck is this perv hitting on me when I'm a guy? Then, of course, I remember that I'm no longer a guy.

I sigh, remembering my bra. 36DD. I mean, come on. DD? Double D? What the fuck?

And my poor, poor balls…

"Yer hot, pretty momma, and I am too… you would know that if you could see."

Oh great. So he knows I'm blind.

But then, I guess it was pretty obvious.

"Uh…" I stutter.

The boy steps closer. I can feel, with my natural claustrophobia, that the other six teens grow tighter. Then I feel him press up against me.

One of his hand clasps my thigh, the other my waist. I then feel him begin to kiss me furiously.

"Ugmph," I stutter, a bit more forcefully, trying to dissuade him. The kid persists.

Then, two things happen.

He slides his tongue into my mouth. It's disgusting and slimy, and tastes like cigarettes and chewing tobacco.

The second is that one of his hands, the fucking perv, creeps down my pants, and the other up my shirt.

Fang POV

I'm actually sort of enjoying myself. Only one problem:

I turn around, looking for Iggy to tell him---er, her---that a bunch or girls he---ugh, she---would call "honey-bunnies" in his "sexist-pig" mode, are standing over by the Nordstrom's, and realize that she isn't there.

"Iggy?" I asked. What could have happened? Was she kidnapped? Lost? What the fuck?

And then, oh God, it hits me.

"Guys, did any of you, like, take Iggy's hand or something before we left?"

I look around at their confused glances. "No, why?"

"Because he---I mean she---is blind," I stress. Their eyes widen with shock, realizing our mistake.

"Shit," I curse, turning back and racing to the food court.

I'm running as fast as I can, worried. Iggy had been alone in that fucking court for at least twenty minutes. How could we be so ignorant? At least it was only a, like, five-minute run…

I emerge and look around, back towards the area we'd been in.

And see Iggy, surrounded by guys, who are all about two or three years older than us and leering creepily.

One of them seems to be, like, feeling her up. He's got his hands up her shirt and one down her pants, and has just appeared to start a French kiss.

I relax. Nothing to worry about. Iggy can totally take care of him---herself.

Just as I relax, I see Iggy scowl furiously and bite viciously down on the dude's tongue. He emits a sort of shriek, pulling back. Iggy then brings her knee up, hard and painfully, into the guy's groin. He doubles over in pain.

Iggy then stomps on the dudes hands, which had moments ago been under her clothes.

I grin and walk over to them. Iggy is now staring, blindly and angrily, at the other boys who seem to be cowering under her glare. I walk up behind them.

"What are you doing to my friend?" I ask coldly. They turn and see me.

And hurriedly run.

Iggy turns to my voice. "Fang?" she asks hesitantly.

"Yeah," I grin. "Great job. You did good."

Iggy gives me his---her half-grin, and steps knowingly over the body which is whimpering on the filthy floor.

"Why'd you give me the slip?" she asks, looking at me with her cloudy, icy blue eyes. I shiver, noticing how gorgeous they are.

Oh, shit. I'm checking Iggy out again. Got to cut that out.

I mean, we were both brothers. Now, we're both sisters. Well, I guess not brothers or sisters… not biologically, anyway…

Stop looking for loopholes. CUT THE FUCK OUT.

There. Did ja like it? Love it? You people have been so great at reviewing! Once again I apologize at the late update, but it was unavoidable as I explained in my other fics. I was out of state for three days, then I had this huge math test to study for, and my fingers were cramping up…

Thanks for continuing to read! Please continue to review! Ideas are appreciated!


5. Teenage girls

Okay, this is WAY WAY overdue. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I really do love this fic (it cracks me up:)) So, now let's keep going.


Angel POV

We all rushed back to the food court about two minutes behind Fang, who was now staring intently at Iggy as they talked about something. I quickly mind-scanned them, and burst out laughing.

"What is it?" Dr. Martinez asks interestedly.

"Oh, nothing," I answer vaguely. Of course, I can't really tell Max's mom that Iggy was… well, being "felt up" as Fang had thought it. Or that Fang was so into Iggy at the moment, that it wasn't even funny.

"Well," Max says as we walk up to the two. Iggy turns towards us, her strawberry hair shimmering. As people pass us, I can see many boys and several girls gawking longingly at Iggy. Their thoughts are all stuff like Oh, I wanna get some of that and boy, that girl looks hot and wow, if mom let me have a girlfriend, she would be my first choice. This sets me off laughing again, seeing as none of them know Iggy's a boy.

Or, used to be a boy.

"You guys ditched me," Iggy accuses jokingly, turning her face to us.

And quite suddenly, I hear the thoughts of someone next to me. And they surprise me so much, I nearly jump out of my new sneakers.

Gosh, doesn't Iggy look hot, Max thinks.

I do a double-take. Because Fang is the one for Max, isn't he/she? But then, now Fang is going after Iggy…

Here, let me get this straight. The thing is, when the weirdo thing changed all of our sexes, they didn't change all of our genders. I mean, me, Nudge, Gazzy, and Max changed genders… but Fang didn't, and Iggy's sort of in the middle.

If you don't know this already, but gender is different than sex. Such as this:

If there were a transgender person, and they were born a boy, their sex would be a boy but their gender would be a girl.

Do you get it? Is it a little less complicated?

From what I can pick up, Nudge is now staring around at "cute" girls, and Gazzy is just being Gazzy; an eight-year-old pyro who just happens to be a girl now. Max is now checking out girls as well, and Fang… she's still checking out girls. Her gender identity didn't change.

And Iggy is just topsy-turvy. Inside her mind is a raging turmoil; she'll have random attractions to girls as she used to, then switch completely and start having them on boys like she should now... had she completely switched genders.

And it really is confusing.

"Well, guys, why don't we just go home now?" Dr. Martinez asks us. "I don't know about you, but I'm a bit tuckered out."

Fang and Iggy stand and nod.

Wow. Look at the way Iggy smiles. It's so sexy… I hear Fang think.

I can't believe I never noticed before how gorgeous Iggy's eyes and hair are… Max fantasizes.

And then, something so swift I can't even tell who it came from, from Fang or Max or someone else…

I still love Iggy more than anything.

Yikes. This is getting pretty confusing.


When we get home, I immediately run into my bedroom. To scream into my pillow.

Because only yesterday, I was crushing on Fang. And now Fang doesn't look cute anymore, but Iggy looks so sexy I can't even stand it.

And, for Buddha's sake, I'm a GIRL. Or I used to be. And I liked BOYS.

But now, I obviously like girls. Which is so super weird, I can't even think about it logically.

I get up shakily and decide that a hot shower will clear my head.

I walk across the room to throw open the door. The bathroom is down the hall, in front of where Iggy's room is strategically placed so he doesn't have to do much of anything to get to it in the morning. Iggy is NOT a morning person, and usually takes three times as long as usual early to get where he wants to go. And he bumps into walls. And trips a lot.

It really makes him… her angry, because of course none of the rest of us has that problem. But Iggy is Iggy, and us being mutant bird kids we really don't have a problem with any trouble it takes us to lift him from a crumpled heap at the foot of the stairs, or take his arm and pull him away from running head-first into a wall.

But we all unanimously agreed that it would be easier for everyone if they didn't have to help the blind pyro into the bathroom in early morning. Plus, Iggy was infamously known for wetting his pants when he was younger after running into things while "really, really needing to go." Having him stay in the room across from the bathroom would take a load off the washer.

After entering the bathroom, I'm sure to lock the door before removing my new clothes.

And, gosh darn it, I should've realized that seeing my new body naked wouldn't have helped anything.

Of course, I had seen guys' parts before. Don't take it the wrong way. It's just that when we were in the School, the scientists used to just love to take off all our clothes and make us run relays and obstacle courses without any form of protection. So, yeah, I'd seen Fang and Iggy naked before, and they'd seen me. Well, Fang had seen me. Iggy was blind before they ever started that.

But I'd never before seen a guy's parts on myself. Even if they were technically mine. And though I'd known it was coming, I hadn't actually realized it before, if you can understand that.

I start hyperventilating.

Hurriedly I turn on the shower and jump into the jet of water, only to find it ice-cold. I hadn't waited for it to heat up. Oh well. At least that jolted me out of my panic attack.

I will not go into detail explaining how I cleaned myself, as that is rather private. All I can say is that it was probably a first, as I doubt any other girl in the world---excluding Angel and Nudge---have ever changed completely into a boy.

I dress again and stare in the mirror for a moment before I'm jolted out of my reverie.

"M-max?" I hear. It's higher, but definitely Iggy's voice. I can't stop myself from blushing, and I don't know why.

Scratch that. I know exactly why.

Iggy lets out a yawn. "Max? I gotta pee. Bad."

Okay. Not wanting Iggy to run into a wall and wet herself (though admittedly that hadn't happened in several years), I hurriedly exit.

"All yours," I say, opening the door. It whacks Iggy's face.

"Ouch," Iggy moans, clutching her nose. Before I can stop myself, my gaze travels up and down her body, taking it in.

"You didn't wet your pants, did you?" I ask worriedly.

"No," Iggy frowns. "Max, I'm fourteen."

"Okay. I'll be in my room."

I turn and walk back down the hallway to my room as Iggy locks the bathroom door behind her.

And I have precisely eight minutes of blessed silence as I lay on my bed before Iggy comes crashing in.

"MAX!" she shouts worriedly.

"What is it?!" I jolt up into a sitting position.

Iggy blushes. "Um… well…" she whispers. "I think I'm dying."

"WHAT?!" I scream. "What are you talking about?!"

"Uh…" Iggy plays with her shirt. "Um… I was going, ya know? And, I, uh, wiped, and… there was blood! I could feel the red!"

I stare at Iggy for a moment. "You were bleeding? 'Down there'?"

Iggy nods wretchedly, and I can't help giggling at her terrified expression.

"What?" she asks indignantly. "You're not gonna rush me to the hospital?"

I laugh. "No, Iggy. You're bleeding down there? That's a perfectly normal teenage girl thing."

"It's normal for teenage girls to die?" she asks, confused.

I shake my head, step forward, and take Iggy's hand. I lead her over to my dresser. "No, you're not dying. It's something called a menstrual cycle, or period. It's when… um… it means you can have a baby, and that you're not pregnant."

Iggy gasps. "What? YOU MEAN I CAN HAVE A BABY?!"

"Geez, you act like it's a terrible thing," I sigh, removing my cardboard box from the bottom drawer.

"Max, I'm supposed to help make the baby, not have the baby!" Iggy complains. "Does this mean I have a uterus?"

"Guess so," I shrug. "Here." I shove the box into her arms. "Now that I'm a boy, I don't need these anymore. But obviously, you do."

Iggy takes the item. "What is this?"

"They're pads. You put them in your underwear to catch your flow." I pull one out of the open box, and put it in Iggy's hand. I demonstrate unwrapping it. "There. Now, go stick that sticky side in the crotch of your panties."

Iggy looks mortified. "Uh… uh… okay," she mutters.

She walks out, still holding the items I'd given her and trots wobbly back to her room.

As she enters, I hear Fang crack up. She must be in Iggy's room with Gazzy.

"Shut up," Iggy mutters.

I manage to crack a smile.

Okay. Please, all you people, review! I want to know if you like the randomness direction this fic is going. Review. Tell me who you want Iggy to end up with. Or Max or Fang. Or Nudge, I guess. Comment, flame, suggest ideas! I will accept all!


6. Randomness

Here is the next chappie. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I promise I'll try harder.

Disclaimer: you know it

Nudge POV

For the most part, this was really weird. I mean, suddenly waking up one day and being a different sex. I'm a boy now! It's crazy! Because, I mean, I used to like boys, and now I suddenly like girls, and I also don't like shopping very much anymore, which is really weird, but I guess changing genders made my likings change a bit, so things are really different, like how Fang looks all weird, and Max is acting odd around Iggy, and Iggy looks so hot, and Angel is all little-boyish now, and Gazzy looks really cute in pink. Ooh, I used to love pink! That color looked so good with my hair! It really brought out the rosy-ness in my cheeks, too, which is awesome, but now I think my color is more forest green now, it brings out my eyes, and that shirt Iggy's wearing really brings out her eyes, and ooh, where is everyone? I was in the kitchen with Gazzy and Fang, then Fang left, and Gazzy's gone, and I think Max was taking a shower…

Wait, I think I got a bit off-topic there, talking about being a boy now… oh, geez! I wonder what it looks like? I haven't been to the bathroom yet today, so I don't know what I look like, so I think I'll go take a shower like Max… but what if I faint or something? Oh, this is really confusing! I don't really know what I should do… is that cookies I smell? They could be chocolate chip, or I guess M&M, but chocolate chip would make more sense, because those are the only kind Dr. Martinez makes, and Iggy doesn't like M&Ms in cookies, he just likes them by themselves, because then he can feel all the colors, and when they're in the cookies he can't… But I wonder if her likes changed too when she got turned into a girl? Because if that's true, maybe then she DOES like M&M cookies, and doesn't like chocolate chip, and maybe she likes pink or purple like Gazzy… but no, she didn't buy anything pink or purple today, so that probably means she doesn't like those colors, maybe she likes green like me now, or maybe she just likes that yellow from her new shirt, it looks really good on her, it makes her hair look really nice… Hmm, I wonder if we should all get haircuts, I mean, I'm a boy now, I probably shouldn't go around with my awesomely styled girl-cut, and Angel for some reason seems a lot more boyish than me now, even though I don't like shopping and he seemed to like it okay, but he was talking about how his hair was all weird and girlish… maybe I look too feminine right now! I don't want to look too feminine… hmm, I should go ask Dr. Martinez to get a haircut… I guess Gazzy and Iggy and Fang can't get haircuts, their hair is too short already, but they could get it styled to make them look more girl-like, and that would be good… Max might want to keep his long hair, I think it looks good on him, and anyway, his hair isn't girly, because it's not styled like mine, but maybe she SHOULD get it styled and trimmed… Maybe at the hair salon, I can get my hair washed, I always love that… it makes me relax and totally massages my scalp… I could get some nice boy shampoo, and cologne or something, and body spray… and oh my God! I won't have to shave anymore! That will be such a relief! No more shaving legs, no more shaving pits… Oh my gosh! IGGY AND FANG WILL HAVE TO SHAVE! Now that's an image I didn't really want to see… but weirdly, it's funny instead of gross. Ha! I wonder how they'll feel about that? I wonder which one is more girly now? I think Gazzy is more girly than both of them, that's for sure, but Iggy seems more girly than Fang, but she sort of switches around like she's bi-polar or something… bi-polar, like Jekyll and Hyde! Oh, I love that book! It's so good, and really weird, and sort of creepy…


I break from my thoughts and turn to see Gazzy standing there in her pink dress and hair-clips.

"Yeah? What do you want? You know, I actually like your hair like that, even though it's sort of boyish, but it makes you more girly for some reason…"

"Uh… yeah. Um, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure, definitely, anything," I reply, nodding furiously. "Of course!"

"Um… what's a period?"

I pause for a moment. "Why do you want to know? Did you get yours? No, you're too young… hmm, where'd you hear about that? Were you reading online? You know that's not smart, there's like porn and stuff online…"

"Um, no, it's just Iggy came into our room with this cardboard box, and Fang cracked up and started laughing about periods and babies, and I wanted to know what that was about."

Ooh, so now Iggy was DEFINITELY more girly than Fang, because Iggy already got his period, but Fang didn't. I wonder when Fang's gonna get hers? Hmm, that will be interesting. I can't picture Fang able to have a baby for some reason. But Iggy can? That's weird too. I wonder. I think the two of them should probably start shaving, ya know? It would be weird for them to walk around with their hairy legs and pits and stuff. But I don't have to shave! I think I'll give my razor to Iggy… Max can give hers to Fang. Ha, I'll bet they'll be all flustered and embarrassed.


Oh yeah, Gazzy asked me about periods. Hmm, I wonder if we'll stay this sex long enough for Gazzy to get hers. That would be scary, being a boy that long!

"Oh, periods are these things girls get when they grow up, and it's like when the lining of your uterus and stuff, it like comes out as blood, and it's sort of creepy at first, and if you don't know about it it can be scary, because you're bleeding… Fang was talking about babies because having your period means you're able to have babies now. Babies are good, they're sort of cute, but they don't smell too good most of the time… I hope I have a baby one day, but if I have a baby I want to have it, ya know? I don't want to adopt, because then it wouldn't have wings, but maybe it would if I was the mom, but I would want to be the MOM, ya know, because me being the dad would be really weird…"

Gazzy stared at me funny for a second, then turned.

"Uh, thanks Nudge," she says, then rushes out of the room.

"Any time, Gazzy!" I yell after her. "Any questions, come to me! I have, like, TONS of answers to almost any question… of, that is so cool, I just realized that ton means a bunch of pounds, so tons of answers means that my answers would weigh a lot, and when answers weigh a lot doesn't that mean they're important or something?"

Hmm… I like that idea. My hair got into my face, and I spit it out. Oh, Dr. Martinez! It is her making chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen! I should go in there and ask her to take all of us to get haircuts…

Whew! That was… interesting. I never knew writing in Nudge's POV could be so much fun! There, that was for someone out there who reviewed asking for a Nudge POV. I think I'll write more of her now, too, since she's so fun. I hope it confused you, because I think her thoughts would be very complicated and confusing, varying through subjects at the speed of light. Yeah. So, thanks for reading. Review!

7. I'm a Girl Now


Disclaimer: you know what goes here.

Gazzy POV

I walked away from Nudge… rather green. So… apparently we had actually completely switched to the other sex.

You know, I was actually pretty fine with being a girl. I look pretty good in pink, really… don't you think? The only thing is, I was fine with it… when I thought we were going to turn back in a few days.

But if Iggy can have a baby now… and me, I guess, once I get old enough, and Fang…

Then, does that mean that we're all gonna be this way forever?!

That's a scary thought.

And now I'm panicking.

And I'll have to ask Dr. Martinez about my new… body.

Um… that's sort of embarrassing.

Actually, I guess, you know, she's a doctor and everything… well, a veterinarian, but I'm part bird, right? So it's sort of close. Besides, she had to teach all this to Ella, hadn't she?

Plus, I'm heading in the direction of her office.

Actually… I'm already at her office.

I stand in front of the door for about five minutes, just staring. Why do I really have to do this? Oh, yeah. Because I don't know anything about myself at the moment. I mean, what if girls have, like, I don't know, a self-destruct button? What if I touch my belly-button and blow up? I have no idea what I'm talking about, and I bet I sound funny, but I'm not kidding!

Okay, deep breaths. I can just ask her, right? Maybe I shouldn't do this, though… I can just ask Iggy… but Iggy doesn't know anything either!

My decision is immediately made for me when the door swings open and whacks me in the face.

Wow. Déjà vu. I have the sudden random feeling that this is how Iggy feels a lot…

"Gazzy? What are you doing?" Dr. Martinez says in surprise.

"Um… I was wondering… uh… well, can you give me The Talk?" I mutter quietly at my feet.

Dr. Martinez cocks her head. "What?"

I turn my head up to her, blushing furiously. "You know, The Talk! Where you tell me stuff about my body! It's just I have no idea about myself anymore! And since Iggy can have a baby, it seems like I'm going to be a girl for I while! I wanna make sure I don't self-destruct."

"What do you mean by 'Iggy can have a baby'?"

I stare up at her. "Well, I don't really understand, but that's the point! Iggy got, like, a period or something…"

Dr. Martinez gets a funny look on her face and lifts her hand to her lips. "Iggy… got his period?" Her voice sounds strangled.

"Yeah," I reply cautiously.

Dr. Martinez cracks up. She doubles over with her hands on her stomach, cackling madly, tears running down her face.

"Oh… oh! Iggy… period… double-D… HA!"

I stare at her for a while as she calms down. Finally, she straightens and wipes her eyes with the heel of her hand.

"Oh, sorry Gazzy… yes, I'll give you 'The Talk'… but it had better be tonight, when I can give it to all of you at once, okay?"

"Um, yeah," I answer.

Dr. Martinez nods assuredly, then turns back around and heads into her office. The door shuts, and behind it I can hear her break into a fit of giggles.

"Iggy… is a woman!" I can hear her laugh.


Sort of creepy there.

I mean, really. Dr. M is an adult. Shouldn't she be acting more mature?

I walk away, wondering about my name. Gazzy… hmm, it just doesn't seem to fit anymore, does it?

Angel POV

Iggy's got some pretty funky thoughts going on in her head at the moment. So funky, it's hard to keep them out. But at the moment, I'm concentrating on something else.

I never particularly liked my hair long, anyway. It was too thick and hot, and always got in my face. That was when I was a girl. Now, I'm a boy, and society has made me believe that boys must look manly. Therefore, I must look manly. Or at least not like a girl.

I lift the razor in my palm and gaze into the mirror. Golden locks spill across my face. They go well, in a rather cliché way, with my sky-blue eyes. For a moment, I wonder about just cutting my hair really short… but that won't work too well. My facial structure isn't good for short hair. Not like Gazzy, little missus pixie-cut. And Iggy looks great in either short or long hair. No, me, I had to get the good old long-hair-or-no-hair face.

I was going with no hair.

I lift the razor to eye level, stretch out a lock of hair, and turn it off. It vibrates satisfyingly in my hand, buzzing gently. When I press the blade to the base of my scalp where the lock of hair joins my skull, the hair falls away with a deft sort of 'shp'. I grin madly.

One lock down. Only about a hundred more to go.

Thanks so much to all you guys who have been reading. I don't know about you, but I think this fic may be going a little slow. Review what you think.

Also, I need names. I'm deciding to give the Flock new names that affiliate with their current sex. So, think of any names, for any of them at all, review 'em. Please. I'd just like for their to be some kind of resemblance, but also sound… good. Like, for Fang, something like Fangalina, except MUCH better. I'm thinking about Gabby for Gazzy, but that's all I've got so far. I suppose Angel and Max could stay the same, but if you think of anything else, let me know. THANKS.


8. Taste the Rainbow

Thanks to all those people who reviewed name suggestions! They really gave me ideas. Some of the suggestions I already had been wondering about. I'm very grateful to all my readers! This story is a lot more popular than I ever would have thought! I hope you all keep reading.

Gazzy POV

I walk down the hallway, thinking about tonight. The Talk. That's going to be interesting.

I look up to see Iggy wandering down the hallway, a hand over her stomach, her face screwed up.

"Hi, Iggy," I say. Iggy starts and turns her head up.

"Oh. Hey, Gazzer."

"Where're you headed?"

"Um… nowhere," Iggy answers vaguely. I examine her eyes, which are extremely reflective; they seem secretive. Like she's trying to hide something.

"… Okay. I'm gonna go… to my room."

"Yeah, you do that."

I continue to walk down the hall, looking over my shoulder. Iggy's head is cocked, listening to make sure I'm really going to my room, before turning and continuing to creep down the hallway.

I decide to follow her, because there's something about her that makes me think she doesn't want to be.

Iggy continues down the hall, trotting carefully across the carpet. She creeps towards the stairs and starts down them. I remain about ten feet behind her, silent, trying to keep my dress from rustling.

What are you doing?

The voice in my head surprises me so much that I jump and let out a yelp, but luckily Iggy runs into a wall at that precise moment and her curses drown out my noise. I look to my side to see Angel, smiling up at me, her bald head looking quite like a fuzzy peach…

Wait. A. Fucking. Second. Bald head?

You shouldn't cuss, Gazzy, Angel thinks at me.

You can't tell Max. It was in my head. Anyway, Angel, why the f… heck are you bald?

Angle shrugs. I wanted to try something different.

I shake my head. Well, at the moment, I'm following Iggy. Don't blow my cover.

Angel nods and smirks.

Iggy continues forward, and the two of us follow him into the kitchen.

She pauses for a moment once inside, listening to be sure no one else is there. Then, she begins to search around for something inside the cupboards.

Muttering about something.

What's she saying? Hmm…

Oh. Wow. She's muttering something about "stupid period… stupid cramps…"

She finally finds and reaches into the medicine cabinet and runs her fingers along the labels, feeling the words. Iggy opens the bottle of Ibuprofen, taking two of the pills and popping them into her mouth. She takes a moment to swallow, an odd expression on her face, then puts the medicine back away.

I expect her to leave the kitchen then, after taking the medication for, apparently, cramps---that must be why she'd been holding her stomach earlier---but instead, she wanders over to her cabinet.

Ever since we'd moved in with Dr. Martinez, Iggy had 'called' one of the larger cupboards in the kitchen, which was reserved specifically for him. It included all his most important 'necessities' for cooking, and no one was allowed to use them, because apparently they were arranged specifically so that he knew where everything was.

Iggy sticks in her arm and reaches inside, way to the back, and pulls out what looks like a porcelain cookie jar… in the shape of Winnie the Pooh. Which sort of confused me for a second, because Iggy owning any Winnie the Pooh merchandise was pretty unbelievable. But, hey, I guess we all have our secrets, right?

So, anyway, now I was wondering why he apparently needed to eat these cookies---or whatever was inside that jar---in secret.



Why the heck does he need to eat cookies in secret?

Angel pauses for a moment, cocking her now practically hair-less head, concentrating in Iggy's direction.

They're not cookies.

Okay, what are they?

Um… I think a mixture of M&Ms and Skittles.

Iggy takes his jar over to the kitchen table and places it carefully down. Turning his head, he checks again to make sure no one's inside the kitchen. Of course, as you can see, it wasn't working. But I guess it's hard to catch intruders when you're blind.

Fine, then. Why does he need to eat M&Ms and Skittles in secret?

I have no idea. Let's find out.

We stand, side by side, in the doorway, watching Iggy. She sits down and opens carefully the lid to the Winnie the Pooh jar, sticks her hand in, and pulls out a handful of the candies. Then, she puts the rather large pile of the candy onto the table-top, leans back in her chair, and throws her legs onto another chair. Then, using her index fingers, she sorts the candies into patterns. I manage to, with Angel, sneak a bit closer and watch the patterns. It alternates Skittles to M&Ms, going from light colors to dark. Iggy sorts like this until her candies run out. Then, she quite suddenly runs her hand through them, wrecking the pattern, and bringing the candy to her mouth.

"Stupid period. Stupid cramps. Stupid cravings." She leans back and lets the candy trickle through her lips, clacking slightly against each other.

Once all the candy has entered her mouth, she lets out a low moan, sighing and relaxing in the chair, sucking on the chocolate and fruity-type-stuff. I raise my eyebrows, unsure at this random anomaly, and look to Angel.

Angel is staring at Iggy with wide, hazy eyes. His mouth is slightly parted, as if in surprise. He's tensed slightly, and manages a strangled sigh.

Um… Angel? What is it?

No reply.


Hhhhhaaa… um, oh, what?

What the heck is going on?

Angle keeps his unfocused eyes on Iggy, who is still sighing and happily sucking on her candy.

It's… it's wonderful…

What the f-heck are you talking about?

Angel turns his wide, blue eyes on me, and shakes his head. I was so used to her---his bouncing curls, that I sort of missed that they weren't there.

Oh, sorry. It's… it's just that… well, you know Iggy's feeling colors power?


Well, she can feel them anywhere. As in, also inside her mouth. And… well, the colors sort of give off certain feelings. Like, blue has this electric, tingly feeling, and red is happy, and green gives you the shivers.

Yes, and?

Well, let's just say that it feels… really, extremely good for her to eat colorful things. As in, she can, literally, taste the rainbow.

Wait… are you saying that Iggy gets… um… good feelings when she eats colorful stuff?

Angel laughs inside my mind. Uh, yeah, I guess so.

We both rush out of there, fast, before we can crack up within her earshot.

Unfortunately, rushing out of a room is not exactly silent.

Behind us, we can hear Iggy jump up, banging her knees on the table and cussing loudly.


We make a beeline for the living room, where Max, Fang, and Nudge are watching TV. I dive into a chair, Angel moving to sit between Max and Fang.

"Angel, what did you do to your hair?" Max asks in surprise.

"Shaved it off," Angel shrugs.

Then Iggy comes barreling into the room.

"Alright, who was it?" she snarls.

"Who was what, Ig?" Fang asks.

"Someone was watching me..! Uh… um…" Iggy trails off, blushing furiously.

"Watching you what?"

"Uh, I was, um, eating, and someone was watching me."

Max laughs. "That's not exactly bad, is it? We've all seen you eat before, you know."

Iggy scowls. "Yeah. I guess." Then, she pauses, listening hard.

Oh, crap. Me and Angel just ran, and we're breathing really hard.

Iggy turns to face us.

"It was you," she breathes.

"Uh, heh heh, can we talk about this, Iggs?" I protest, standing and holding out my hands.

"I. Am. Going. To. KILL. You. Two." Iggy looks ferocious, beyond forgiveness.

Then, Max stands, walks over, and smacks her.

"Iggy! You can't kill them for watching you eat! Now, go to your room."

Iggy stares at her in disbelief. "Seriously? Max, I'm not a kid. I'm the same age as you. Plus, they deserve it." She throws us a look, and I am momentarily thankful that looks can't actually kill.

"I don't care, just go," Max reprimands. Iggy shrugs and stomps away. Then, at the doorway, she pauses.

"Oh, God… Angel's a mind-reader," she mutters under her breath in a way that sounded terrified.

I look to Angel, who has this evil, maniacal grin on her face.

We can use what we know as blackmail later, Gaz, she thinks at me. I ponder the statement for a moment. After all, Iggy's my best friend. Then, I throw her a smirk.


Umm… thanks for reading? I got the idea for this chappie in a dream, actually. Yes, I have a perverted mind. Anyway, I'm so glad! I've hit a hundred reviews! Yay me! You readers rock! Please keep sending in name ideas, they won't come into play for another few chapters. And REVIEW!



Here you go! You've all been begging for this, so I hast granted your wish.


I honestly don't know what got over me! Sending Iggy to her room?! I've never done that before, not even when she used to blow up my stuff.

But seriously? Iggy getting mad at Gazzy and Angel for watching her eat? I find that rather unbelievable.

No. It couldn't be just that, could it? The way Iggy was so angry, and Angel and Gazzy's mischievous expressions… there was something more to it. Of course, I had no idea what it was, and I wasn't about to ask. I mean, what if "they were watching me eat" was Iggy-code for "they saw me naked" or something weird like that?

I laughed inwardly to myself. That would be a sight to see…

Oh, wait, scratch that last thought.


I winced as my mom shouted my name from her office.

"WHAT?" I yelled back.


I rolled my eyes and stood. That was mom, always the hypocrite.

I trotted dutifully down the hallway into mom's office, my hands stuffed into my new jean pockets, and trying to get used to the absence of weight on my chest. Angel and Gazzy I could hear muttering secretively behind me, while Fang and Nudge had gone back to watching the TV. I could also hear Iggy stomping about in her room; her footfalls were so heavy, they were actually shaking the ceiling. I reminded myself to go apologize and let her out… after I talked to mom.

Mom was sitting at her desk in her whirly-chair, and when I walked in she turned and gazed at me for a second.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing. Max, can you go get the rest of your Flock and bring them in here? And Ella, while you're at it."

"Oh, is Ella home?"

"No, but she will be in a second."

I winced at the thought of my little sister finding out that she suddenly has… well, lost a sis and gained a bro.

I decided to go ahead and let Iggy out of her room now, so walked around to the stare-case and started up.

Iggy's room, of course, was across from the bathroom. Her door was shut, and I couldn't hear her stomping around anymore. Maybe she was sleeping?

I knocked loudly. "Hey, Iggs. Listen, can I come in?"

I opened the door before awaiting consent.

Iggy turned, startled, in my direction. She was lying in her bed with the ear-buds to her iPod in her ears, probably turned up as loud as possible. She reached up to rip them out.

"Who is it?"

You know what? That's the part I resent most of all about the scientists taking away Iggy's eyesight. The fact that, even when we're standing right in front of her, and her eyes are focused on us, she has to ask who we are.

It makes my heart throb every time.

"Max. Listen, mom wants us downstairs. In her office. I think she's going to talk about something important."

"Gotcha," Iggy acknowledges, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing. "And, by the way, I haven't heard a sorry for the cruel treatment I've been receiving."

"Okay then. You're not getting one!"

"What?!" Iggy protests, throwing a shocked glance in my direction. "Please?" She sticks out her bottom lip in a pout and makes Bambi eyes, which doesn't seem like it would be able to work on a fourteen-year-old blind girl, but hey, it does.

"Okay, sorry," I relent, walking out the door.

We trot down the stairs at an even pace, and enter the front hall to the living room… just as Ella opens the front door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she shrieks, dropping a bag she'd been carrying. "MAX! IGGY! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU… YOU..!"

"LANGUAGE, ELLA!" mom shouts from her office. "AND NO SHOUTING IN THE HOUSE!"

Ella simply stares at the two of us, gawking ridiculously.

I sigh. "Ella, listen, there was sort of… and we… and the goo… we woke up… Iggy… Fang… and now we've all changed sex's," I explained informatively.

Ella rolls her eyes, quite a feat given how widely they're open. "Thanks for all that information, it revealed a lot," she cracks. "More importantly; Max, you've got balls, and Iggy's got boobs."

Iggy jumped as her name was mentioned, and I can see her blushing viciously.

"You don't have to tell it so obviously," she muttered.

"THAT'S HOW IT IS!" Ella shouted.


I turned on the spot, Iggy spinning around, and begin in the direction of mom's office. I can see the rest of the Flock exiting the living room, and Ella following behind us cautiously.

Once we've all entered mom's office, we stand awkwardly, crowding around the doorway. Mom is sitting in her chair with her legs crossed.

"Sit down," she tells us, gesturing at the floor. We all sit. "Okay. First, Ella, as you can probably see, the Flock has switched sexes."

"No duh," Ella murmurs, though she still looks freaked out.

"This is because," mom continues, "A mysterious object apparently showered them with magical goo the other day. When they awoke this morning, they were a different sex. We do not know how to reverse the process, or if it is permanent or temporary. However, you must learn to cope with this knew situation."

"Yeah, sure thing." Ella doesn't look to eager about it.

"Now, I don't suppose you all know why you're here?" mom finally asks, getting on topic.

Gazzy and Angel nod, while the rest of us shake our heads.

"Well. The reason you're here is because Gazzy earlier asked if I could tell her about her knew body, and I figured that this would be a good time to just give you all The Talk. Yes, at the same time, because I have no idea whether or not you'll be staying this sex for long enough or changing back soon. Anyway, you'll all learn this stuff eventually, so why not sooner."

We all sit in silence, gazing at her in disbelief.

"So. First, growing up. As you mature, you guys will start to go through puberty. Max, Fang, Iggy, you've already began to go through this. Nudge, Ella, you've just started. Gazzy and Angel, you two will start soon enough. Anyway, when going through puberty, certain things will start to change."

"Like what?" Gazzy asks abruptly, then blushes as we all turn to look at her.

"Well," mom starts, taking it in stride. "You will start getting mood swings. You may feel certain emotions stronger at times than others. You may feel sad one moment, and happy the next. Also, you will start growing hair in certain new places…"

"Mom!" Ella and I both say simultaneously.

"What?" she asks innocently. I can see, out of my peripheral vision, Nudge looking aghast, and Iggy and Fang giving each other a look – that Iggy, of course, couldn't see – that clearly said "been through this before."

"Don't… just don't! At least, not in front of everyone!"

"And why not?" mom answers, looking confused. "At the moment, you are a guy, and need to learn this for if you stay this way for a long time. Iggy, Fang, and Gazzy used to be a guy. They're girls now, like you used to be. They need the girl talk, which you will need as well if you turn back. Same way vice-versa. I see no problem in giving it all at once."

"What about me?" Ella asks, pointing at herself. "I don't need the guy talk."

"Ella, when you are old enough to fall in love, assuming you are heterosexual, you will either have to learn the guy stuff the hard way, like I did, or just listen to the talk right now."

Ella frowns, muttering silently to herself, though doesn't object again.

"Okay," I sigh. "But, mom, how long's this gonna take?"

Mom stares at me penetratingly. "As long as it needs to."

Which, in translation to regular old kid-language, means a fucking long time.

This is going to be so much fun!

(Note my sarcasm.)

There you go, intro to The Talk! If you want the next chapter as soon as physically possible, review :).




Okay, so, listen up… ONLY read the following chapter IF:

You do not mind listening to the normal bodily-maturing stuff

You actually want to hear The Talk

You do not mind re-hearing The Talk

Hearing The Talk will not turn you off to this fic in any way

You will not be offended by hearing any 'growing up' stuff about the other sex

You will not flame me for it

Okay. So, now, if you fit none of those requirements, please simply ignore this chapter and wait for the next one.

And by the way, my bestest friendy is ordering me to tell you all about her. So here it is:

Her name is Claire. She has brown, wavy hair. And blue eyes. She's really, really, really skinny and she thinks she's "not fat, but eats a lot". She is wearing short-shorts. And a yellow shirt with a random mermaid. She is impersonating Salad Fingers, from the YouTube show. She has braces. She wears makeup. Her toenails are painted. She is also wearing a bracelet Catherine made her. She is very… special. In fact, she is helping me write this chapter... So she's ALMOST as… special as me.

If you found that mildly interesting at all, REVIEW.


"Okay. So, now, are we ready to stop interrupting?"

We all nodded at my mom's question. Of course, no more interrupting; it would only drag this thing out longer.

"Fine then. I took the liberty of typing up these papers and printing them out for you. Here." Mom took a stack of papers, one for each of us, and handed them out. "They have all the information needed on them. I will answer any questions you have. Please, be open."

We all took our papers apprehensively and gazed at them. Iggy, of course, didn't get a paper, due to her blindness and all. Instead, Fang embarrassedly read it softly to her.

"Any questions?"

"I'm not done reading yet," Fang said softly.

"I have a question," Angel said.

"Okay. Angel, what do you want to know?"

"Well," Angel said, pointing to a spot on the paper. "Right here, it says that as boys mature, they can get stuff called erections."

My mom nods. "Were you wondering what those were? It explains on the paper."

Angel cocks her head. "I dunno. I think I already know what they are."

"How is that?"

"Iggy and Fang."

Mom swivels her head to face the two now-girls, who had looked up at the mention of their name and were blushing obviously.

"Uh, girls, you didn't tell her this, did you?"

They shook their heads furiously.

"No, but it's hard to keep things from a mind-reader, you know? And while they were going through puberty, their thoughts were very hard to block out. You know, stuff like 'That chick is so sexy' and 'Max totally turns me on.' Then there was the whole 'I'm maturing in new places' crap…"

"THAT'S ENOUGH," Fang said loudly, clapping her hand over Angel's mouth.

Mom gave the two a funny look. "Well, Angel, what were you asking about then?"

"Like, what age do you get them? And does it hurt?"

"Uh…" mom pauses for a moment. "Well, age varies from person to person… and, though I have of course never had one, I believe it feels… quite good."

"Wait. What is an erection?" Nudge piped up. "I mean, 'cause what if I've had one and didn't know it? Is it like a period, like you get one once a month?"

"No, it is not like a period. A boy can get an erection at any time, but most likely when he is sexually aroused."

"Mom…" I start, and Ella looks like she agrees with me. You know, I was gonna teach the Flock all this stuff by just buying one of those growing-up books. I most certainly wasn't going to ramble off like this and answer embarrassing questions…

"Then it's a good thing it's your mom doing that, isn't it?" Angel says.

Stupid mind-reader.

"Okay. Is that all of your questions on that subject?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Fine then. So, any more questions?"

"What about this 'period' thing? I mean, I know Iggy got her's today, but…"

"HEY!" Iggy shouted in protest, and Fang giggled.

"Iggy got his period?" Ella laughed, bringing her hand to her mouth. Iggy pouted.

"Yeah, but, what exactly is it?"

"Well," mom started. "A girl's period is basically when she grows old enough to start to ovulate. It means her eggs are entering her uterus, and they sit there. When a woman is not fertilized, her body gets rid of the egg by peeling off the lining of her uterus and draining it out as blood."

"Out of where?"


Mom didn't have to answer that question, because Ella leaned in and whispered the answer in Gazzy's ear. Her eyes widened considerably; I bet she'd been expecting some sort of sink-drain, with a pull-able plug or something.

"Okay then. Other questions?" Mom seems to have become vaguely uncomfortable with the fact that, she was, in fact, sitting in a room full of two young kids under ten, two adolescents, and three hormonal teenagers… talking about 'growing up.'

"Well…" Iggy started. I turned towards her in surprise, seeing as I hadn't expected her to ask anything.

"Yes, Iggy?"

"What about these breast things? Are they going to be getting any bigger?" she asked desperately, gesturing at her chest.

"Um… Well, for many girls their breasts do not get as big as yours have, so it is quite possible that you will not grow any bigger. However, everybody grows differently, and you might in fact have a ways to go."

"Shit," Iggy cursed under her breath.

"Language!" mom chided. "There are children in this room!"

The 'children' all looked to my mom with skeptical expressions. "Um, we already know all those words, Dr. Martinez," they chorused in perfect harmony.

Mom looked about ready to explode for a second there, but she managed to keep a lid on it.

"Well, then. Anyway, more questions?"

Angel and Nudge looked at each other. "Um… sort of."

Mom sighed again, clearly already ready for this… discussion to be over. "Yes?"

"Well, you know how we're supposed to, you know, grow hair in… new places?"


"Well, we obviously already know what those places are, but since we're boys now, do we have to shave it off?"

Mom furrowed her brows. "Firstly, Angel, you are far too young to be growing hair. Nudge, however, no, you do not have to 'shave it off' anymore."

Nudge grinned broadly and turned to Fang and Iggy. "What about them? They're girls now, but they've got their hairy legs and all…"

Mom sighed again. "If Fang or Iggy wish to shave, I will expect you and Max to be generous enough to lend them razors. Now, any more questions?"

"What about the cravings?" Iggy abruptly asked, then blushed furiously. I noticed Angel and Gazzy exchanging their mischievous expressions… did this have something to do with before? "I mean, the cravings when you're on your… period. Do you have to follow them? I mean, is it bad to, or is it bad not to?"

Mom shrugs. "Well, it's not necessarily 'bad' either way. However, if you crave such things as candy or other fattening items, if you eat too much it is unhealthy. And if you have odd cravings, such as for sponges or spoons or pencils, it is advisable not to eat them."

Iggy raised an eyebrow. "Spoons? Sponges? Pencils?"

"It has happened before," mom answers with a meaningful glance. "Many times before. To many… different women."

Suddenly, quite randomly, Gazzy raised her hand. "I have a question… sort of unrelated," she said shyly.

"Yes, Gazzy?" mom answered.

"Well, I'm a girl now. I don't like my name."

We all sort of froze for a second. Gazzy wanted to change her name?

I was fine with my name. But then, I guess, mine was gender-neutral, wasn't it?

"What were you thinking of?"


That's when the frenzy started.

The frenzy of everyone shouting at once to change their name.

Apparently it had been something they'd been thinking about for a while.

Thanks for reading! I hope you weren't scarred, although I myself don't find that scarring material… seeing as it's natural body stuff and all. Anyway, I hope you liked it. And thank you so much for all the name suggestions, I'll be introducing the winners in the next chappie!

Also, I made up a dance. It's called the T-Rex (named by Claire). Here's how you do it:

Step 1.) Hold up your index and middle fingers like a T-Rex's hand.

Step 2.) Put your hands to the right and step with your right foot.

Step 3.) Step back and forth between the left and right foot while alternating switching your hands from right to left.

Step 4.) Do this in time to the beat of whatever song you happen to be listening to. Let the music flow!

I recommend Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance.' It works well with the dance.

Now, try doing this splendiferous dance. I promise you, it's quite fun. I'm trying to make it the next big thing.

Start the fad for me, please. And tell them all that it's called the T-Rex, invented by flYegurl. And semi-Claire.

By the way, Claire says she might possibly make an account. Her name will be BabuClaire. So, yeah. Keep a lookout for her, I guess.





"Yeah! If Gazzy gets to change her name, I wanna change mine!" Nudge bellowed.

"What about me? I'm stuck with Angel! I want a new name too!"

"Hmm… I was thinking that my name didn't really suit me now," Iggy added cautiously.

Mom put her face in her hands.

"Okay then. What are you thoughts on the subject?" she managed.

"I was thinking Nigel, you know, because it really suits me and all. Plus, it sounds sort of like Nudge, so it's not completely different."

"I wasn't thinking of any drastic change, I just like the name 'Angelo' better."

"Gabby! But I already said that, didn't I?"

"What about Izzy? You know, like short for Isabella, but just Izzy? It's pretty close to Iggy…"

"I hadn't thought about it much. Maybe Fawna? Yeah, I like that name…"

Mom gawked at my Flock. I did too. My mouth had dropped open the first time when Nudge had mentioned the name "Nigel."

I guess I was WAY too used to Nudge being all 'girly' and stuff. She was just too different now.

And Gazzy? My little man?

And Iggy? Mister I'm-so-manly-and-such-a-sexist-pig?

Although I will admit that Iggy had never been really sexist, and he'd always been really offended when I called him that…

But still! I just can't imagine them changing their names, or even wanting to. It's implausible! What the fuck has gotten into them?

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?" I shouted. They all shut up and turned to look at me. "I MEAN SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE FUCK HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU PEOPLE?"

"Um…" Iggy turned her head down and played with the hem of her shirt. To my surprise, her eyes started to water. She stood suddenly, bringing her hands to eyes, and turned to stumble out of the room.

It didn't make as good an impression as it should have, seeing as she walked into the wall her first try out the door.

"Iggy!" I called vainly after her.

"There, see, NOW you've done it!" Fang yelled, standing abruptly and glaring at me. "You've hurt her feelings!"

"I don't know what I did!" I answered, aghast, and feeling really guilty. A knot had formed in the pit of my stomach, and I felt almost as if I was about to stop crying.

"It wasn't Max's fault! Dumb Iggy just had to go and start crying like a stupid girl."

"What the heck, Nudge! Why are you being so damned sexist?" Gazzy yelled back. "Don't be mean about Iggy! It's not her fault! Max was being the stupid one!"

I held my hands up in vain. Everything was falling apart! Nudge was acting totally wrong, and Iggy was acting totally wrong, and EVERYTHING! What the hell is wrong with us? Are we completely changing?

"Guys, just please, SHUT UP! I'm going after Iggy, all of you just need to talk amongst yourselves or something…"

"OH YEAH? WELL… WELL… WELL… OH YEAH?" Nudge shouted after me as I exited the room.

To my surprise, Fang followed closely behind.

"What are you doing, following me?" I asked snidely, trotting in the direction of the stairs to Iggy's room.

"What are you doing? You're the one who made her cry," Fang retorted.

"Well, that's why I should be the one to make her feel better!" I shouted.

"No, you'd just make her feel worse!" Fang answered.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to make her fall in love with me, and that's…"

I froze, clapping my hands to my mouth. Had I really just said that out loud?

"Oh, really?" Fang replied, smirking. "Well, then. It's a race. Who will Iggy fall in love with first, you… or me?"

I stared at Fang in astonishment. Fang was… in love with Iggy?

Fang was gay?

And I'd had a thing for him!

"Well then… okay. And I'll beat you to it!" I challenged in response. Fang smirked at me.

"Maybe, maybe not. Still, I think I'll win."

"Ha, as if!"

"First one to make her smile wins this round. How about it?" Fang offered.

"Ah, yeah… and after all the rounds, the person with the most points gets to make the first move!" I offered.

"Whatever. Game on!"

Fang stuck out her hand and spit into it.

I spit in mine and joined it in hers.

And we shook on it.

Yay! Plot starting to thicken!

I love thickening plots!

I love you guys!

Of course, I'm not IN love with you guys…

Still, reviews are appreciated!


12. Deja Vu



"Yeah! If Gazzy gets to change her name, I wanna change mine!" Nudge bellowed.

"What about me? I'm stuck with Angel! I want a new name too!"

"Hmm… I was thinking that my name didn't really suit me now," Iggy added cautiously.

Mom put her face in her hands.

"Okay then. What are you thoughts on the subject?" she managed.

"I was thinking Nigel, you know, because it really suits me and all. Plus, it sounds sort of like Nudge, so it's not completely different."

"I wasn't thinking of any drastic change, I just like the name 'Angelo' better."

"Gabby! But I already said that, didn't I?"

"What about Izzy? You know, like short for Isabella, but just Izzy? It's pretty close to Iggy…"

"I hadn't thought about it much. Maybe Fawna? Yeah, I like that name…"

Mom gawked at my Flock. I did too. My mouth had dropped open the first time when Nudge had mentioned the name "Nigel."

I guess I was WAY too used to Nudge being all 'girly' and stuff. She was just too different now.

And Gazzy? My little man?

And Iggy? Mister I'm-so-manly-and-such-a-sexist-pig?

Although I will admit that Iggy had never been really sexist, and he'd always been really offended when I called him that…

But still! I just can't imagine them changing their names, or even wanting to. It's implausible! What the fuck has gotten into them?

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?" I shouted. They all shut up and turned to look at me. "I MEAN SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE FUCK HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU PEOPLE?"

"Um…" Iggy turned her head down and played with the hem of her shirt. To my surprise, her eyes started to water. She stood suddenly, bringing her hands to eyes, and turned to stumble out of the room.

It didn't make as good an impression as it should have, seeing as she walked into the wall her first try out the door.

"Iggy!" I called vainly after her.

"There, see, NOW you've done it!" Fang yelled, standing abruptly and glaring at me. "You've hurt her feelings!"

"I don't know what I did!" I answered, aghast, and feeling really guilty. A knot had formed in the pit of my stomach, and I felt almost as if I was about to stop crying.

"It wasn't Max's fault! Dumb Iggy just had to go and start crying like a stupid girl."

"What the heck, Nudge! Why are you being so damned sexist?" Gazzy yelled back. "Don't be mean about Iggy! It's not her fault! Max was being the stupid one!"

I held my hands up in vain. Everything was falling apart! Nudge was acting totally wrong, and Iggy was acting totally wrong, and EVERYTHING! What the hell is wrong with us? Are we completely changing?

"Guys, just please, SHUT UP! I'm going after Iggy, all of you just need to talk amongst yourselves or something…"

"OH YEAH? WELL… WELL… WELL… OH YEAH?" Nudge shouted after me as I exited the room.

To my surprise, Fang followed closely behind.

"What are you doing, following me?" I asked snidely, trotting in the direction of the stairs to Iggy's room.

"What are you doing? You're the one who made her cry," Fang retorted.

"Well, that's why I should be the one to make her feel better!" I shouted.

"No, you'd just make her feel worse!" Fang answered.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to make her fall in love with me, and that's…"

I froze, clapping my hands to my mouth. Had I really just said that out loud?

"Oh, really?" Fang replied, smirking. "Well, then. It's a race. Who will Iggy fall in love with first, you… or me?"

I stared at Fang in astonishment. Fang was… in love with Iggy?

Fang was gay?

And I'd had a thing for him!

"Well then… okay. And I'll beat you to it!" I challenged in response. Fang smirked at me.

"Maybe, maybe not. Still, I think I'll win."

"Ha, as if!"

"First one to make her smile wins this round. How about it?" Fang offered.

"Ah, yeah… and after all the rounds, the person with the most points gets to make the first move!" I offered.

"Whatever. Game on!"

Fang stuck out her hand and spit into it.

I spit in mine and joined it in hers.

And we shook on it.

Yay! Plot starting to thicken!

I love thickening plots!

I love you guys!

Of course, I'm not IN love with you guys…

Still, reviews are appreciated!


13. The Blonde and the Emo

Okay. Here you go.


Knock knock knock.

"Iggy? Can we come in?"

There was a pause from inside her room. Fang fidgeted uncomfortably.

"… Sure."

I twisted the doorknob in my fist, pulling the door open to reveal Iggy sitting on her bed, hastily stuffing something underneath it.

"Hey. Listen, I'm sorry for back there," I muttered. Iggy stared in my direction with her wide, blue eyes.

"Sorry for what?" she asked softly.

"I made you cry, didn't I?"

Iggy cocks her head, and Fang sucks in a breath.

"No. No, it wasn't you…" Iggy told me.

It wasn't me!

HA! Take that, Fang!

"So, what was it, then?" Fang asks softly.

Iggy shrugged. "Nothing," she answered, nonchalant, though she never was a very good liar.

"Come on, what was it? Or do I have to tickle it out of you?"

And I remember the competition. If I can make Iggy smile before Fang, I get a point…


Okay, Fang, sorry, but we never made any rules against foul play…

"Hey, Iggy, wanna hear a joke?" I asked.

"Um, sure," Iggy accepted. Here goes nothing.

I glanced slyly at Fang before talking. Good thing I'd had nothing to do yesterday, and Fang's laptop had been right there, perfect for research…

"What do you say to make an emo kid cry outside the mall?... Anything."

Fang scowled at me, and Iggy raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Um…" she said.

I had to try again.

"How can you tell if grass is emo?... It cuts itself."

Iggy's eyebrows rose even higher.

And Fang retaliated.

"How did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory?... She threw out all the W's."

Ooh… that Fang, picking a nasty fight at my blonde hair… but then again, I guess I'd started it with the emo jokes.

"Well, what did one emo kid say to the other?... Stop crying, you're stealing all the negative attention."

Fang grimaced, and Iggy's eyebrows rose even further, if possible. Still, no hint of a smile…

"How did the blonde try to kill a bird?... She threw it off a cliff!"

"Why did the emo kid cross the road?... To get a box of tissues!"

"How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?... She fell out of the tree!"

"Oh, did you hear about the new emo pizza?... It cuts itself!"

"You already did one like that," Fang points out, teeth gritted. "With the grass."

"Oh, whatever makes Iggy happy is fine, I don't care about repeats," I answered innocently. Iggy turned her head between Fang and I, as if she was actually looking back and forth between us.

"Well, how did the blonde die drinking milk?... The cow fell on her!"

"How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?... None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry!"

Fang looked furious, and I have to admit I was pretty pleased, Still, there had been not a hint of a smile on Iggy's face yet… I wonder if this wasn't all that funny to her?

"Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?... You get to park in the handicap zone!"

Oh, it is ON.

"Is it better to be handicapped or emo?... What's the difference? Being emo IS a handicap!"

"What do you call twenty blondes in a freezer?... Frosted Flakes!"

I was just about to retaliate when the door swung open and Nudge stuck his head inside.

"Hey! Dr. M has popcorn downstairs, and we're gonna watch a noisy, lots of dialogue movie!"

Iggy jumped up, her face breaking into the widest smile.

"Lots of dialogue? Really? And POPCORN?"

She was out of the room in two seconds flat.

Fang and I glared at each-other for a few moments, then nodded in reconciliation.

"A draw, then," I said.

"Yeah. A draw," Fang agreed.

But that won't happen next time.

And I am so terribly sorry if I offended anyone with the jokes. For your information, I have many intelligent blonde friends and several great emo friends. I also DO NOT PROMOTE STEREOTYPES. These jokes were simply for the sake of the chapter.

I'll have you know, there were several simply awful, cruel jokes out there! I had to go through about a hundred, and those were the cleanest, kindest ones… gosh, stereotypes can be so heartless…

14. Basilisks and Rampaging Lions

Well, here is the next installment of this beautiful story. I hope you love it. Oh, and by the way, I'm sorry some of my previous chapters were so short. I'm trying to make them longer.

Angel POV

We were all watching the movie. Nudge was perched on the edge of his chair, Gazzy kneeling on the floor, and Iggy was sitting next to me, leaning back against the back of the couch with her eyes closed. Ella was on my other side.

Fang and Max walked into the room and stood in the doorway for a second, looking us over, and shooting each-other an annoyed glance. Then, Max spoke up.

"Hey, guys, about your… um, new names? I've decided we can use them as our codenames from now on, but I'm not going to be able to remember to use them when we're alone. Okay?"

Gazzy looked back at him, nodded, and turned once more towards the movie.

"Yeah," Nudge replied from his chair, and Iggy nodded her head mutely, eyes still closed. She was listening intently.

The movie we were watching was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. We had been watching it for a while now, and I thought it was pretty interesting. Nudge had made me read the entire series, and this one had been my favorite book. The movie was almost as good.

Max and Fang continued to hover at the entrance to the room, but then they broke away from each-other. They both moved to the couch and tried to sit in the spot next to Iggy at the same time, and started bickering quietly. I entered their minds discretely.

That stupid Fang, picking a fight like this. It's so fucking obvious that I should sit next to Iggy. I'm the leader after all.

Max! God, he's being so freaking annoying. Why won't he just let me sit next to Iggy and watch the movie?

I exited hurriedly, not particularly wanting to listen to their minds argue confusedly over their awkward new feelings for my Iggy. Besides, they were making me miss part of the movie.

"Will you two just shut the Hell up? It's hard enough for me to tell what's going on being blind and all, but with you two squabbling I can't concentrate on the dialogue. Just go sit on the floor over there." Iggy gestured randomly in front of her, and Max and Fang stopped arguing instantly.

"Okay, Iggy!" Max and Fang chirruped simultaneously. They both turned to glare at each-other for a moment, and then went to sit in front of the television.

The six of us and Ella continued to watch the movie with new silence. Every now and then, when the sounds were particularly confusing, I whispered what was going on in Iggy's ear and she nodded mutely to show she was listening.

Nudge POV

By the time Harry had entered the Chamber of Secrets, I had leaned back in my chair. Max looked stiff and annoyed, continuing to throw glances towards Fang, who was staring with wide eyes at the movie screen. Ella had apparently watched the film too many times, and had her eyes half-closed as she continued to look. Iggy was leaning forward intently, as was Gazzy, and Angel was almost as interested as the two of them. Although not so much so as I would have been, had I still been a girl. But I'm a boy now, so I'm not. I guess it was part of the female gender to be reeled in by sweaty boys in danger.

Unless of course you were lesbian, or something, then it would be sweaty girls in danger. Or maybe you were bisexual, so you would be reeled in by sweaty hermaphrodites in danger. No, wait, being bisexual doesn't mean you like hermaphrodites, it just means you like both boys and girls. But then what kind of a person likes hermaphrodites? Where do hermaphrodites get their love? Are there random people out there with hermaphrodite fetishes? Or is there really something like a… a… hermaphrosexual? That would be so weirdly cool… I wonder if anyone I know is a hermaphrosexual?

Wait a second… so, hermaphrodites are people born with both boy and girl parts… but I think I heard somewhere that when they're born, the doctors cut one of the parts off or something. So there really aren't any hermaphrodites out there who are a boygirl anymore, are they? No, there has to be a few who couldn't afford that kind of medical procedure… I wonder where the doctor puts the part after they amputate it? Does the doctor throw it away, or keep it in a plastic bag, or put it in a pickle jar? Eww, I can just imagine boy parts floating in pickle jars…

I glanced down at my groin, feeling sympathetic for anyone who lost their parts and had them pickled in jars and fed to the lions.

Wait a second, if the doctors feed the pickled parts to the lions and other animals, do the lions develop a taste for them? What if there were a drop in the birthrate of hermaphrodites, so the doctors didn't have enough pickled parts to feed to the lions, so the lions were so hungry they started biting the parts off of all the people they see and escape the zoo or wherever they're at and run amok wreaking havoc on all the people of the world, chomping down on their groin, biting off their parts, eating them, and getting bloodlust? What if they've reached this city? What if they're running down the street right now, and they're going to crash through the front door and chomp off my newly developed boy parts?

Oh, fuck. I pulled my legs up to my chest nervously and looked out the window. I couldn't see any rampaging lions lusting for private parts, but you can never be too sure. I placed a pillow over my groin to shield it, just in case one did show up. I wasn't about to have my parts bitten off.

Angel POV

I looked over towards Nudge to see him looking rather pale with his legs drawn up to his chest and a pillow clutched in front of his crotch, and stared for a moment. That was sort of weird.

Nudge turned and met my eyes for a moment. She stared at me fiercely, as if trying to silently communicate, nodded towards my own groin, and pointed subtly out the window. I simply gazed back at her for a moment then turned towards the movie again, not really wanting to know what was going through Nudge's demented head.

Harry was running through the sewers, looking rather dirty all covered with muck, blood, sweat, and what seemed to me maybe a bit of basilisk shit. Oops, can't let Max catching me think such 'dirty words'…

Wait a second, Max can't hear my thoughts! I can think dirty words all I want!

I began to run through a list of all the curse-words I had ever heard or learned, chanting them in a sing-song voice in my head while watching the movie.

"Hear that, Iggy? That basilisk is just like you!" Gazzy said suddenly, her eyes trained on the movie screen. "It follows Harry by the sounds he makes, just like you, because the phoenix gorged his eyes out with its talons!"

Iggy sighed. "Well, I certainly hope I'm nothing like a bloody basilisk with its eyes gorged out of its bleeding sockets by some creepy bird. I'd rather just be me, with eyes intact. Even if they're kind of blind."

I wondered in my head how anyone's eyes could just be kind of blind while the battle between Harry and the basilisk raged on. When Harry stabbed the giant snake's brains out, I winced slightly. I had grown sort of fond of it. At least it had shut up that Hermione Granger girl… I don't like the actress's voice. It's whiny and annoying.

We all continued to watch the movie in relative silence until it ended. As the credits began to play, I stood and stretched. Nudge remained crouched in his odd protective position. I shrugged, reaching up to rub my newly bald head. I loved the feeling now… I'm not so hot and stuffy. It's sort of breezy, actually.

Dr. Martinez poked her head into the room. "Guys," she started, "dinner's ready. Oh, and I've set up appointments for you all to get your hair cut tomorrow. Except you, Angel."

I nodded and walked into the kitchen. The table was loaded with food. Unfortunately, after the rest of my Flock started eating, it was gone in about ten minutes. I guess switching sexes doesn't affect one's appetite.

Okay. There's a new chappie for you! I enjoyed writing it, especially Nudge's POV. It was actually very confusing. In fact, that was exactly what I was thinking about the other day, about hermaphrodites… is there any type of person that likes hermaphrodites? Or are they just… well, I don't know. If anyone does, please tell me. It's an interesting question.

Oh, and, REVIEW!

15. Nighttime

Hmm… You know, I've been thinking. I'm at 183 reviews right now, and I'm only at chapter 14. Do you think, then, I could reach, like, 400-and-something reviews by chapter 28? And like 1,000 by chapter 50? If so, that would be really awesome. I'm hoping to hit 200 soon. In fact, the 200th reviewer will get a special chapter, in which they will be featured as a character for that chapter (in whatever way). I think I will do that for every time I reach another hundreds. So, please, continue to review and maybe you'll be featured in this beautiful, crazy fic of mine!

Fang POV

You know how easy it is to fall asleep the night of the day you woke up to discover you have randomly switched sexes, discovered that you're mega-ly into your former brother, had The Talk, and made a bet with the girl you used to have a crush on on who would be the first to get the now-girl you both have a crush on to fall in love with them?

Well, if you thought it would be really easy, as in head-on-pillow-asleep-within-seconds, you are COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY INCORRECT.

In fact, I have been lying awake for about two hours as of now.

Jeez, it's hard to sleep when you've got so much running through your head.

I mean, the thing is, Max and Nudge and Gazzy and Angel seem to be adjusting just fine to being a different sex.

What I mean to say is, none of them are gay.

Well, all of them seem to be attracted to the sex they should be, since they're heterosexual and now a different sex.

Whereas me, I'm still crushing on girls. In fact, boys don't look the least bit hot to me.

Is that wrong? Should I like boys now? What if I really did change genders and I'm just gay and I've just realized it?

I wonder if that's it. If I am gay, then…

But no, I really honestly don't think I'm gay. Because I really honestly did like Max when we were… the right sex. Maybe I'm bi?

But whatever my sexual orientation, at the moment, I'm into girls. And I'm liking Iggy.


"Hey, Fang, whatcha doin'?"

"Eatin' chocolate."

"Don't pull that one on me, dummy. Really? It's not like I can just take a look and know."

"Well, yeah, you're blind."

Iggy rolled his eyes. "No duh. Tell me something I haven't known for the past nine years."

"Max has boobs?"

Iggy raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"And curves. You know, boobs and curves. The whole girl thing. Didn't you know? Oh, right, no, you didn't, because you can't see it."

Iggy scowled and crossed his arms. "Your point being?"

I shrugged, crossing my arms. "Oh, just you didn't know she had boobs or curves or anything before I told you, right? And you still can't see it for yourself."

Iggy continued to scowl at me.

"So, the only way you'll ever know for sure is if you somehow convince Max to let you feel her up. Like that's ever gonna happen."

Iggy sighed, sitting in a chair across from me. "Yeah, I know. I'll never get anyone. I'll never know what the heck an actual girl looks like… unless you count that one freaky lady from the School that continuously injected me with random liquids. I mean, I don't."

I laughed. "I don't either, believe you me."

We both leaned back in our chairs, sighing heavily. I broke a piece off of my Hershey's bar and handed it over to Iggy. He took it deftly.

"This chocolate?"


Iggy laughed. "So you weren't lying."

I smirked. "Nope. I was telling the complete and honest truth. You just didn't believe me."

I sigh. It's not like Iggy's ever going to actually like me. I mean, we're both brothers, really. Nothing changed with that. Iggy didn't exactly change. He looks different, sure, but he's not really.

But then, if Iggy didn't change, and I know that, then why do I have a crush on her?

Gazzy POV

I walked dazedly through the hallway. The tiles were wavy and confusing, like blueberry jam. I didn't really want to walk any further, but the string was pulling me. I simply couldn't stop.

The hallway opened out into a huge playground. Nudge and Max were swinging on the swings, both of them wearing tuxedos. Of course, it was today. They would be wearing them to it. They must just be in character.

"Hello, Gazzy!" Max shouted. "Nudge is teaching me how to fly!"

"Max is like a son to me," Nudge said breezily.

The jungle-gym was silver. At the very top was Angel. He was laughing, wearing absolutely nothing except a neon-orange Speedo.

"Gazzy! Don't look down! Whatever you do, don't look down!" he called to me, his Speedo gleaming in the sun. I blinked.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because. If I tell you, you'll want to jump," Angel replied morbidly.

I turned back to Max and Nudge.

"Do you know why?"

"It's tonight. So you can't," Max answered knowingly. I nodded. It seemed reasonable.

"But Gazzy, he's only pretending. It's safe for now. You won't disappear."

I turned my gaze down.

I was floating billions of miles above a city. I could see the buildings, gleaming with lights and glass and people. Cars and buses drove around in the busy streets.

I started to fall.

I relaxed for a moment, embracing the feeling. Air rushed passed me, speeding, accelerating. It was wonderful, exciting.

Then, I tried to open my wings.

"You shouldn't do that, you know," Iggy said. I turned my head to look at her. She was falling beside me, her eyes closed.

"Why not? If I don't, I'll fall into the ground and die."

"Not if you believe. If you believe, it won't happen tonight. Then Max can go home."

"Max doesn't need to go home. Nudge is teaching him how to fly. It's quite breezy, where they are. He'll learn fast."

"I know he will, but it's not right. It's not right at a time like this. It's tonight, you know. It's all tonight. There won't be any time after it's done."

"But I don't want to die. I really shouldn't. There's things I need to do. I might miss the big event."

Iggy smiled and turned to look at me. Her eyes were green this time instead of blue like usual. I like them when they change.

"If you want, I can help you. You don't have to fall."

"Okay," I agreed. I reached out and Iggy took my hand.

I was in the school. A regular school. The one Ella went to on Wednesdays. The floor was quite devoid of ants, and I was slightly sad. But then I looked up and saw Angel.

This time, his Speedo was hot pink.

"Hey, Gazzy. Max and Nudge are doing just fine. They're at the hospital now. But they can put Max's head back on if he doesn't move too much."

I nodded.

"That's good. Except Max isn't one to listen to the rules. He might jump."

Angel shook his head.

"No, even Max knows he shouldn't jump. It's not right, not at a time like this. Not when it's tonight. It's too soon. If he jumps, he might never make it."

I nodded. "I know."

"Fang and Iggy are waiting for you. They're in there."

Angel pointed towards the door.

"But that one's only for the mice. The mice won't want me in there."

"But Iggy and Fang are waiting. You shouldn't keep them waiting, not today. They got all dressed up for the special occasion."

I shrugged and made my way over to the door.

"Okay. You're right."

The door swung open with a squeak. I stepped through into the desert.

All the sand was bright and early. There weren't many mice, and that was a good sign.

"Fang? Iggy? I'm here. You don't have to wait anymore."

I couldn't hear them answer.

I started running. I couldn't let the night run out without saying hello.

"Gazzy, we're over here."

I turned. The two of them were on an island in the middle of the ocean. The water was deep, and there were sharks.

"Hey, Gazzy. We've been waiting. It's been ages. It's almost time."

"I know, I'm sorry. How do I get over there?"

Iggy smiled. She was wearing a lacey thong and a silky top, both of them glittery and red. Fang was wearing the same ensemble, but in purple.

"Do you like our outfits? They didn't float at first, but now they're fine. They're perfect for the occasion."

"I know," I agreed. "They are perfect. But what about me? I have nothing to wear."

"Oh, you don't need anything. You won't be joining us."

I shrugged. "Yeah, but I want to be prepared. If it's going to happen, it should happen in a velvet sky."

Fang smiled sadly. "There really is nothing you can do."

I stepped up onto the platform and began to walk across to the island. The sharks circled me, their eyes dead and black as obsidian. They weren't scary, though, because they weren't for me.

Angel and Max and Nudge dropped from the trees next to Iggy and Fang. Angel was wearing a tuxedo, now, too.

"You two look very good. It's perfect for tonight," Nudge complemented.

"Thank you," Iggy acknowledged. "I picked them out myself. But the man was very helpful. He helped us put them on."

"Did he touch you?"

"Yes," Fang answered. "Everywhere. It was very smooth. But not now, now it's begun. You shouldn't jump next time, Max, you're head's all wrong now."

Max shrugged, holding his head in his arms. "I know I shouldn't jump, but I couldn't help it. The needles were very sharp. It was hard to sit still while they sewed it back on."

Nudge patted Max on the back. "It doesn't matter anyway. It's tonight again. Let's all say hello to Gazzy before we leave."

They all turned to me and held their hands up in greeting. I waved. The sharks began to eat the platform, so I jumped and spread my wings, floating in the air. It was too hard to swim, what with all the sharks.

"Hello, Gazzy," my family chorused. "Wish us luck."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," I let them know. "Just don't jump too high."

They all smiled. Max and Nudge linked arms with Iggy and Fang. Fang's skin was dark and didn't really match her outfit, but the lace went nicely with her eyes. Iggy's red suited her though. You'd think it would clash with her hair, but it didn't. It went well with her creamy white skin.

Then they jumped.

I woke up quite suddenly. I sat up and stared into the darkness of my room for a long moment before realizing that my face was soaked with tears. I wiped them off swiftly.

I wonder what I had dreamed about that made me cry.

Wow. I don't really know what was with Gazzy's dream, but I know it's important for future chapters.

Don't ask me how or why.

But you know what, I teared up while writing the dream. If you read it again, it might make you sad. It really is sad, if you think about its meaning.

By the way, I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was the episode when Buffy's mom, Joyce, dies. I was crying so hard. Like, heaving, super-loud sobs. I have a terrible headache now.

And you know what? My kid sister wasn't even crying at all. She didn't even act sad. How totally heartless, right?

Anyway, please REVIEW. Remember, I'm shooting for 200!

16. Close Encounters of the Nighttime

I'm glad people reviewed on the last chapter. Although I've noticed that not many people have been reviewing, not as many as they did in the beginning. But when I see how many hits this fic has, I wonder why they don't. It's good, isn't it?

If there is anything you don't like about this fic, please PLEASE review it so I can change something. If you have criticism, let it out. This fic can't get better if it's not criticized at all.

But, please, if it's good, review and tell me. Otherwise, I don't know if it's good or bad. It's hard to tell.

Thanks. Please try to review.

Iggy POV

Sometimes it's easy for me to go to sleep. But not tonight.

And, no, it's not what you're thinking. I mean, sure, it's hard enough due to the fact that my ginormous double-D boobs are uncomfortable to lay on, and I'm normally a sleep-on-my-stomach kind of guy. Yeah, it sure is hard to sleep on your stomach when you've got two great big breasts in the way.

But that's not exactly the biggest part of suddenly changing into a girl, is it? I mean, I'm missing something vital 'down there'. There's pretty much nothing worse than that.

I know that the rest of them, they all adapted a lot quicker than I have. I mean, I know it must be hard for them, changing just as suddenly as I have. But… it's… it's hard. It's really hard.

The rest of my Flock relies on their sight for practically everything. I don't. I rely on touch and smell.

And the thing is, even though I really had no idea what I looked like, I was still much more in tune with the workings of my body than everyone else, seeing as I was familiar by touch. It's easier to realize something's gone when that vital feeling is missing than just by occasionally looking down and noticing a slight difference. I mean, isn't it?

God, I wish…

Anyway, none of that was the reason I couldn't sleep. I mean, yeah, big things, but the biggest was something that's been going on for about a month now. Since before the whole big change and stuff.

Shit. I clenched my hands into fists and bit my lip, scrunching my eyes closed. I wished I could just punch my fist through a wall and have all of the fucking pain disappear.

I doubt any of the rest of the stupid Flock has to go through this.

I tried vainly to bear it out, see if it went away by itself after a while. Unfortunately, it just got loads worse. My head felt like Max was bashing it with a hammer, like my skull was going to split right in two.

Reluctantly I rolled over and rummaged under my bed for the bottle of pills. Right there.

I pulled the bottle out and opened it, taking two Aspirin and popping them into my waiting mouth. Wincing at the bitter taste, I swiftly swallowed.

Unfortunately, I was wide awake now and wouldn't be able to sleep until the migraine finally faded, which wouldn't be for about forty-five minutes. Sure, the pain was dulling, but it was still there.

I decided I would get a drink of water.

Swinging my legs over the bed, I softly placed my feet on the floor. It was hardwood, and my feet were bare, so I shivered as the cold hit me.

But I still managed to get up and tiptoe quietly into the hallway. The nightgown Dr. Martinez had bought me swirled around my ankles. It was silky and soft, and absolutely lovely; a soft periwinkle color that I absolutely loved. That was it. Blue was my favorite color. I mean, I loved the little electric tingle it sent down my spine. Especially the blue of blue M&Ms. Those were absolutely heavenly. And mixed with the relaxing feeling of green, the happy feeling of yellow, and the adrenaline of red, M&Ms were just about my favorite food in the world at the moment.

I mean, I like Skittles too. They have a different variety of colors that were pleasant in the mix of the M&Ms. But M&Ms had solid, heartfelt colors. The colors of Skittles were somewhat muted.

I continued to trot down the hallway, deciding to get a small amount of my candy before the water. I think I deserve a… ahem, nice feeling, what with enduring all these migraines all the time.

The tile of the kitchen was cold as well, but I made my way across the room to my cupboard, opening the doors and reaching to the back for my cookie jar. Putting my hand under the lid, I retrieved a small amount of the sweet treats and placed them on my tongue, drawing them into my mouth.

I just stood there for a moment, relishing the sweet, sweet feeling spreading tingling throughout my body. The tingles of pleasure slid down my spine, running like currents of electricity through every fiber of my being. I stifled a sigh of pleasure, and moved to get a cup, filling it with water from the sink. I drank it swiftly, left the cup on the counter, and made my way back down the hallways towards my room.

After being relaxed by the colorful candy, I was feeling drowsy. Very drowsy. Mega-drowsy. I wonder why the Aspirin was acting so fast tonight.

Swaying, I hurried forward, muttering and feeling along the wall for the doorknob. Finding it, I let out a breath and opened the door, trotting back across the floor and falling into bed.

The instant my head hit the pillow, I was fast asleep.


I was trying to get to sleep. Trying, yes, but not succeeding. You have no idea how hard it is.

Well, I guess maybe you might have a clue. But no first-hand experience.

Whatever. As previously stated, I'm trying but not succeeding.

And I was bored.

That is, until my door opened.

As soon as I heard the creak of the hinges, my head jerked over to look at the doorway. Iggy was standing there in some sort of silky blue nightgown, barefoot, and looking sort of… drunk, I guess. I mean, she was swaying, and looked about to drop unconscious.

I opened my mouth to ask her what she needed, when she opened the door wider, stepped inside, stumbled over to my bed, and lay down. Her head dropped onto the pillow and she was out like a light.

I stared in apprehension at the sleeping Iggy. My bed was big, but not really big enough for two people to sleep comfortably on. Plus, there wasn't actually supposed to be anyone else sleeping on it.

"Um, Iggy?" I muttered quietly, trying desperately to wake her up. She didn't even stir. "Hey, Iggy?" I said, louder, but still no sign of waking.

I reached over and shook her lightly. She didn't respond.

I slumped back into my pillow and sighed. This was what Iggy was famous for. Once he was asleep, nothing could wake him up; not bombs, not fires, not Fang whacking him upside the head with a rubber chicken (believe me, we tried).

But, if Iggy wasn't going to wake up, what was I supposed to do?

I thought maybe I could go sleep on the couch in the living-room. I mean, that's really my only option. I wasn't about to go sleep in Iggy's bed.

I started to get up…

And then Iggy whimpered slightly, turned over, and put her arm over my chest, holding me tightly.

I stared at her sleeping face, calm, serene, and gorgeous. I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. This was trouble.

I gently let myself lay back onto my pillow, and realized something.

Iggy… was in my bed. Iggy was sleeping with me.

Me and Iggy were sleeping together.

Score one for me! Take THAT, Fang!

I settled comfortably into my pillow once more, relishing the feeling of being so close to Iggy.

Then I realized two things:

Iggy had huge boobs. Huge boobs. Giant boobs. And she wasn't wearing a bra. And they were totally touching me through her nightgown.

The other thing:

I was wearing absolutely nothing. Not a single thing.

I was buck-naked, and Iggy was sleeping right next to me.

My breathing hitched. I always sleep naked. Always have. Just something about me. But I also always lock my door at night. How did Iggy get in?

I curse, and remember. I had got up earlier to go to the bathroom, and when I'd come back in I'd forgotten to re-lock the door.

But besides the point of my nakedness and Iggy's boobaliciousness, why the fuck did Iggy fall asleep in my bed in the first place? I mean, seriously?

But, Iggy had actually looked sort of drugged. Maybe she woke up to get some sleeping pills or something, and they acted mega-quickly so she forgot which room was which.

That had to be it.

But besides that; humongous problem still to be solved.

Iggy was in bed with me. With no bra.

And I was naked.

That really didn't turn out like I expected it to. I mean, I had the first part planned out, but Max's POV? How the hell did that turn out?

Anyway, I'm glad people are reading this.

REVIEW if you want to find out how Max solves his predicament!

17. Get Your Head out of the Gutter

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm so happy. And, thanks, to those who comforted me on my review drop. I will now try to update much faster, in return for a review hike! Thanks so much!

By the way, I do believe StarsLeanDownToKissYou was the 200th reviewer. Stars, if you're reading this, please review to tell me how you would like the fic you to be portrayed, and how you will look. I'm excited to see you in an upcoming chapter.

Thanks so much again. Let's see when we can reach 300!

By the way, thanks to those folk who reviewed saying they liked the word "boobaliciousness". I'm very proud of it myself (actually, my mom says it all the time… sort of creepy, I know, but true). Anyway, It's a good word and I know it, yeah yeah….. randomness.


Think Max, think.

What to do, what to do.

Actually, what do I do?

I mean, me naked + Iggy in my bed = endless mortification. What the heck was I supposed to do?

I didn't exactly want to get up. Actually, in a sick sort of way, this felt very comfortable. However, what was I supposed to do in the morning when Iggy woke up? I wasn't ready for that whole episode yet.

Hmm… think Max, think.

I could get up and put on some boxers…

No, wait, that wouldn't work… the whole point of me not sleeping somewhere else now was because Iggy wasn't letting me get up.

So… what to do… what to do…

Ah. Iggy was so warm. And sleepy. I could hear her deep breathing. Feel her ginormous chest move as she took in air. Her hair fluttered slightly, and her eyelids twitched. She let out a tiny sigh and snuggled closer to me.

I turned away from her. I wasn't about to have her accidentally touching my 'private parts' in her sleep. That would be way weird.

Then, desperately, I tried to roll out of bed.

She grasped me even more tightly. I wasn't about to go anywhere any time soon.

I sighed and resigned myself to sleeping like this. I wrapped as much of the blanket as possible around my hips and decided to wake up super-mega-early to get dressed before Iggy woke.

So, I drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

The clouds drifted softly in-and-out of my line of vision. Tiny white penguins skied down their poofy slopes, waddling outrageously with their little beaks clacking. A huge Energizer Bunny poured marmalade down the slopes from a glass jar, and it spread in pools of sticky orange. Many of the penguins got stuck in the muck, squawking and trying vainly to waddle away.

"You don't want to look there, silly, it's such a funny little play," I heard next to me. I turned to see Fang, wearing a black tutu and her hair up in little pink bows.

"Yeah, alright. If I stay here, I'll miss your party."

"Uh-huh. Iggy's gonna be there. You don't want to miss her part."

I shrugged. "I know, it will be quite amazing."

Angel and Gazzy joined us as me and Fang trotted off across the roof and jumped through the hole. McDonald's was unusually packed today, and everyone, I mean EVERYONE was eating large French-fries and a chocolate milkshake. I really wanted one.

"Oh, come on Max, don't linger," Gazzy laughed. "Nudge is almost finished juggling. It won't be long now."

"I know, I know, you don't have to keep reminding me."


We continued out the front door, down the street, and into the Chuck-E-Cheese's. It was fuller than I thought it was going to be, packed top to bottom with pink reindeer. Nudge was juggling rocks up on the stage. As he threw them in the air, one-by-one they turned into small arachnids with razor-sharp pincers. Everyone cheered. This was the act.

Nudge started screaming and running around, the spiders biting him everywhere. The reindeer all laughed uproariously.

"Nudge, if you don't want to die, next time you shouldn't jump!" Angel said. Nudge was standing behind him, dead. He blinked and grinned.

"I know. I won't next time. It's just too hard; I keep forgetting. It's so natural for me."

I giggled. "Nudge, you're so funny! There's no time for jumping at a time like this!"

Nudge sighed and faded away. "Whatever. I'll meet you all in the underworld. Max, remember to practice your flying. I know the doctors re-fixed your head, but if you jump again next time you won't be so lucky. Well, see you all."

"Yeah, see you then," Gazzy acknowledged, waving furiously. Angel nodded. I looked around for Fang, but then realized she was getting ready. Iggy was up now.

Iggy looked at me. Her eyes were green again.

I like it when they change.

"Max!" she shouted, jumping down next to me. She was wearing a silky blue nightgown.

"Iggy, put something else on! You're feet are totally showing!" I hissed through my teeth.

Iggy laughed. "I'm alright if I don't jump. Come on, I don't matter. All of you should just go one without me."

"Look at the two lovebirds!" Nudge suddenly called out. I thought he was waiting? Hadn't he gone ahead?

"Wow, that is so weird," Gazzy agreed.

"What the heck? Max!" Fang exclaimed in shock.

"Um… Max?" mom asked.


Holy shit!

I sat up straight in bed. Angel started guffawing loudly.

"Max! What were you and Iggy doing?" Nudge asked, surprised. Gazzy just stared at us. Fang was fuming.

Iggy sat up as well, looking confused. I glanced down and pulled the blanket up to my chest.

Fang was staring at Iggy's. Chest, I mean.

"Cut it out, Fang, you pervert," I hissed through my teeth. Fang raised an eyebrow at me furiously.

"Cut the small talk, Max! What the heck did you do to Iggy last night?"

"What?" Iggy asked, totally confused. Then, she realized the position of the voices and where the fuck she was.

"Why… am I… in Max's bed?" she asked cautiously.

"Oh, goodie, Max, you drugged her and raped her!" Fang yelled.

"WHAT?" I asked in disbelief. "Iggy just cam into my room last night looking like she hadn't slept in a month, and when she laid down I couldn't wake her up, so I had to sleep like that because she was holding me, and I sleep naked EVERY NIGHT!"

"What's going on?" Ella asked, coming up behind the crowd. She gaped at me and Iggy in bed, then grinned.

"Woo, good going, Max! Didn't think you'd hit third-base so young!"

"You… out!" mom shouted at everyone. Then she turned to the two of us.

"Max… Iggy…" she looked about to yell, then just shook her head. "I don't want to know. Just get dressed. We're going to get you guys' hair cut in thirty minutes."

Iggy turned and looked at me. "What the heck is going on?"

I stared back at her. "You know what? You don't really want to know."

Unfortunately, just then, she tried to get out of bed.

And put her hand down on the blanket over my groin.

I gasped in pain, and Iggy's eyes opened extremely wide, yanking her hand away and standing abruptly.


"Yeah," I sighed. "Just so you know, it wasn't me. You came into my room last night and fell asleep in my bed. Is it my fault I sleep naked?"

"Uh… no?"

I grinned inwardly. Iggy was blushing. I'd made her blush.

Plus, I had just slept with her.

So, yeah, score one for me.

Man, had Fang looked pissed.

Okay. Interesting chappie. Wanna find out more? Review!

Also, any plot suggestions? They are greatly appreciated.


18. Mohawks and Side Bangs and Layers, Oh My

Hello, fanfiction readers. I am happy to inform you that I, flYegurl (aka whatever my real name actually is – wouldn't you like to know), am going to most probably see a movie. With a friend. A good friend.

Wish me happiness, luck, and good fortune. And very, very tasty popcorn. And that their blue-raspberry icee mixer hasn't broken down again. So I won't have to settle for stinky ol' cherry.

Yeah. Right on.


We all loaded into mom's van. Mom was still looking a bit disgruntled, even after I had told the entire Flock – plus her and Ella – what had actually happened last night. Fang still wouldn't believe me. She was throwing me dirty looks from the front seat.

Ella kept throwing smirks my way. I raised my eyebrows at her in an innocent 'What ever is wrong?' expression, but she just continued shaking it off with a grin. I scowled.

Iggy was sitting in the back with Nudge and Angel. Nudge was talking animatedly to her about some hair-style he thought she should get – I guess not all of the girly-ness had disappeared.

"So, what are you guys thinking about?" mom asked. "I mean, got any particular styles in mind?"

"Can I get my hair cut, too?" Ella asked in her best I'm-such-a-good-and-loyal-daughter voice. Mom sighed.

"Sure, Ella, you can get your hair cut. Nothing drastic, though. You weren't due for a new cut until next month."

While Ella sullenly pouted in her seat, Gazzy began chattering about how she wanted her hair done. Something about wanting it trimmed just a little so it wouldn't be too short, but how she wanted her bangs to somehow swoop to the side instead of just hanging vertically. Nudge mentioned something about how those were called, imaginatively, 'swoop bangs', and then Ella and Gazzy got into an argument about whether swoop bangs or side bangs were better – to tell you the truth, I don't know the fucking difference.

Mom managed to park in a great spot almost directly outside the salon. We all got out, and Gazzy and Ella and Nudge rushed straight in. Angel, Fang, Iggy and I lingered a bit, waiting for mom to lock up the car and everything before following the three inside.

The inside of the place was cool, like how salons always are. It smelled faintly of shampoo and fruity conditioner, and cologne and perfume, and… well, basically everything salons sell.

Gazzy was talking at the front desk to a woman with red-streaked black hair and thick, gothic-looking makeup. They were chattering about all of these different horror movies, which I admit I had no idea Gas has ever seen. I was pondering the ability of my mother to govern which movies my little Flock-members could watch when Iggy walked up behind me and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Hey, Max? Can I ask you a question?" she whispered. I looked up to see her blushing self-consciously.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Um… well… uh… what does my hair look like?"

I stared at Iggy for a long. Moment. "Well, it looks nice. A little boyish, maybe, and I figure to be more of a feminine girl. You were even a bit feminine as a guy…"

Uh-oh. Iggy was now blushing even more furiously.

"W-wait, no! I didn't mean… I mean, I wasn't insulting your manliness, just commenting on how you used to talk and act and stuff… um…"

Iggy just shook her head, sighing.

"No, it's fine. I guess I just never noticed."

I cursed at myself inside my head. Now Iggy was probably mad at me.

"Um, Max, Gabby, Nigel, Fawna, Izzy, Ella?" mom called hesitantly. It took me a second of wondering who those other strange five names were referring to before realizing those were the new codenames we had decided on.

"Uh, yeah?" I answered for all of us.

"You all can go get your hair cut now. Angelo, come sit over here with me."

The six of us – minus Angel and plus Ella – walked over to where six stylists awaited us.

I was taken by a girl with short blonde hair. She sat me in a chair next to Gazzy's.

Fang POV

I sat in a chair next to Iggy's. Her stylist was a rather attractive girl wearing a particularly cute outfit. I would be gaga over her if I wasn't a chic right now. Her outfit was composed of a tight-fitting purple tank-top with lace and large black cargo pants with splatter-painted Converse. Her hair was died purple, cut short, and spiked up.

"Hey," she said conversationally to Iggy.

"Um, hi," Iggy replied shyly.

"Hello," my own stylist asked loudly. "My name is Owen. How would you like your hair cut today?"

"Just cut it. Make it look good," I answered shortly, then returned to listening to Iggy and his stylist's conversation. Owen sniffed huffily and began to comb my hair. He seemed slightly put out.

"Well, my name is Tara. Do you know how'd you like me to cut your hair?"

"Um…" Iggy started. "Well, my name is Izzy. And… uh… I guess I'll have to trust you on the cutting-of-the-hair, because I'm sort of blind."

Tara nodded, scrutinizing Iggy's head. She took her chin and turned her face here and there, looking at it from all angles.

"Okay, I know just what to do. It'll look so cute!"

She took a comb and began to bring it down through Iggy's strawberry locks. Her hair was knotless, and I wondered if that was natural. Probably was. Even when we were on the run, Iggy's hair always looked perfect.

"So, let me start a random conversation. What do you like?"

"Um, well, what about you?" Iggy threw her question back at her, and I smirked slightly. Tara had moved on to spraying misty water over Iggy's hair, and Owen had begun flat-ironing my own.

"Hmm… my favorite food is popcorn, my favorite candy is M&Ms. I like mashed potatoes, and I don't like anything at Steak N' Shake except for the milkshakes. But I really love 'em milkshakes. In terms of Icees, I like the flavor blue. I think cherry flavoring in anything sucks. I'm not much for cooking, but I love to make cookies.I don't watch movies often, but when I do I like horror. I nurse a soft-spot in my heart for anything slimy, fanged, or bearing tentacles. I like dogs more than puppies, but kittens more than cats. I like anything dark-colored. I enjoy making things go boom, and I'm a computer wiz. Now, your turn."

I had a time trying to wrap all the things Tara had said around my brain. Wow. That was a long answer to a short question. I wonder how Iggy was going to react.

"Hmm…" Iggy smiled sweetly and less shyly. "Well, my favorite food is potato chips, and my favorite candy is also M&Ms. I also love Skittles. I only eat the milkshakes at Steak N' Shake, because I don't think the French fries are potato-y enough. I like blue raspberry Icees, and I don't like anything cherry. I am the best cook around, and I can make anything from scratch, as long as I have all the ingredients and no one mixes up the salt and the sugar. I never watch movies, obviously. I nurse a soft-spot in my heart for anything, and I mean anything soft, furry and/or fuzzy. I like birds and dolphins. I like anything multi-colored. I love making bombs and making them go boom. And I'm pretty handy at electronics."

Tara whistled and laughed. She had pulled out her pair of scissors and was now snipping the hair on the back of Iggy's neck. I could see that she had already added several different fringes of layers, and had given Iggy swoop bangs that completely covered her left eye. She looked wonderful.

Owen was cutting my hair too. I didn't really pay any attention.

Anyway, Iggy and Tara talked animatedly for the rest of the time. I had to admit, I was sort of jealous.

By the time each of us had had our hair-cuts finished, Tara and Iggy were fast-friends. Or at least, that's what it seemed like. They laughed and chatted together, and as Iggy was paying at the front desk, she gave her fifty percent off.

"Here, here's my card," she said, handing Iggy a little white card. "It has all my times and days and everything. If you ever come back, I'd really like to see you again."

Iggy smiled and nodded, taking the card uncannily.

Max's mom paid for the haircuts, and I turned to see what kind of styles the rest of the Flock had gotten.

Gazzy had her hair cutely styled, and had put in little streaks of bleach with the regular golden blonde, and side bangs. Ella had her hair layered and cut so it framed her toned face.

Max had his hair cut short. Really short. As in, two inches long. With longer bangs that swooped to the left and ended a few millimeters below his eyebrows.

Nudge had a Mohawk.

Ah well. This was the Flock. My dysfunctional, weirdo, sex-switching family. What would I do without them.

"Bye, Izzy!" Tara called after us as we trotted out the door.

"Later, Tara!" Iggy answered happily.

Me and Max both grimaced with barely-stifled envy.

Snshk. That went well.

Well, if you can believe it, I have big plans for future chapters. As in… well, you really wanna know?

Naw, I won't tell you. If I do, it wouldn't be a surprise.

You'll just have to wait and see.

So you better REVIEW.

19. Lesbian Crushes and Fashion Thoughts

Okay. I want to say I'm sorry for not updating in so long. Unfortunately, a little while ago my parents were in a car crash in which basically the top half of a tree fell forty feet onto their car. My mom got out pretty fine, a little sore, but my dad was trapped. Power lines were downed everywhere, so people had to wait an hour before the power was cut and they could free my dad. Dad's neck was broken in a way that should have killed him. It is an absolute, one-in-a-million miracle that he is not dead today. I am so very grateful he's still with me.

After that, I was sort of traumatized, so the only fanfic I've been updating has been my angsty, sad one. Yeah. Because I had no humor in me. So, sorry about that.

So, yes. That is why I haven't updated. There was the week in which me and my little sister jumped from house to house, staying with friends while my parents were in the hospital. Then there was the period of having to take care of everything so my dad and mom could rest. So, of course, I had no time to get on the computer and type. I am ever so sorry for the inconvenience.

Hmm… you know, this fiction is very popular. However, I have indeed looked back to the first several chapters and found them, though long and satisfying, rather… annoying. I guess I hadn't relaxed into the whole "fanfiction" writing thing yet, so I was still sort of choppy. Anyway, sorry about that.

Also, I wanted to ask something. I've had reviews saying they understood why I changed the rating to M, but I've also had some complaining about me changing it to M. Please review your opinion, so I know whether the popular opinion wants me to change it back or not. Thank you.

Nudge POV

Oh my gosh! I got a Mohawk! And I look so fucking HOT!

I never really thought I'd be able to pull off a 'guy' look. You know, what with the previous entirety of my life-outside-the-School being totally focused on becoming a fashionable and attractive girl.

Now, I'm a boy. I'm a boy now!

And I'm actually freaking LIKING it!

Weird, huh?

Angel says it's just because the whole sex-switchy-object thing switched my gender as well as my sex, so of course I like being a boy; I feel like one.

Hmm… yes, I do believe I feel like a boy. I walk like a boy, talk like a boy (even if I still ramble inside my head, for some reason I don't when I talk), act like a boy, and gawk at girls with big boobs like a stereotypical boy. Man, being a man… weird! But awesome at the same time! I don't even know how to explain it. It's like, everything is just normal, even if it's as far from normal as anything could possibly be. I mean, a family of Avian-human hybrids who had their sexes completely switch. How crazy is that?

In fact, I bet if I told a single person who wasn't Iggy, Max, Angel, Gazzy, Fang, Ella, or Dr. Martinez, they wouldn't believe me. No duh, of course they wouldn't! They'd think I was Schizo or something!

Anyway, the whole pulling-off of the 'guy' look. Well, I had chosen the perfect outfit. Perfect in every way. It was the kind of outfit I had always picked out for Iggy, with slight differences.

Iggy, of course, was obviously blind. Obviously. So it was the Flock's job to get him clothes that weren't too small, too big, too baggy, too loose… basically anything that wasn't flattering. Max being the fashion-queen that she used to be (note my sarcasm) was never the popular choice to pick out clothes. Gazzy was even less of a preferable pick because he was still into little-kid things that Iggy had grown out of. Angel was a little better, but was still young and didn't know much except that she looked cute in blue. Fang was always right out of the question, because he always picked out emo black clothes that, in contrast, made Iggy's fair skin look paler than a ghost.

So, of course, I was always left with Iggy to pick out his clothes.

Anyway, rambling again, right? The point is my outfit.

I'm wearing faded skinny-jeans that don't cling too tightly, which really looks good. My shirt is forest-green with a blue Element symbol; the shirt isn't tight, but isn't loose, and clings in just the right places, if I do say so myself.

And my hair! My hair is so fucking awesome! The Mohawk is not spiked up, but rather slightly choppy and sort of cowlick-y, swooping forward until the front hangs over my forehead, almost in my eyes. I look hot.

But wait, I said that already.

Anyway, I think the rest of the Flock looks pretty good too.

I watched as that hair stylist handed her card to Iggy. Ohmygosh, she's totally flirting with her! I wonder if Iggy noticed? Maybe she just thinks they're friends.

But believe me, with the fluttering of the eyelashes, the tone of the voice, the way the chic's hand lingered on Iggy's for a little too long, it was obvious that the girl was flirting.

She's a lesbian! Or a bisexual. Ohmygosh, I wonder if Iggy likes her back? That would be way weird.

And then I noticed the way Fang and Max were frowning towards the stylist, and I thought, hmm… maybe things are about to get a little interesting around here.

And then I thought, well, more interesting than it is now.

Because I think turning into a boy after having been a girl for the first eleven years of your life, along with the rest of your dysfunctional Avian-human hybrid bird-kid family, could be called really fucking interesting. Also, I think that being a bird-kid in general would be considered pretty interesting. Plus, even if we were regular old people, I think our lives could be considered interesting anyway. I mean, what with Erasers and not knowing our actual names or families or anything… But then again, I guess if we were regular old people, we would never have been kidnapped or anything…

But then we never would have known each other. I wouldn't give up my family for anything.

"Hey, guys, what do you want to do now? We could go out for ice-cream or something…" Dr. Martinez started.

Mmm… ice-cream…


Dude, have to admit, we all look damn hot. I liked Iggy's haircut a bunch, but Fang's suited her too; cute layers, longish bangs. She looked more like a girl now. I guess it had just been her 'boy' emo hair that made her an 'unattractive girl'. She was pretty hot, even compared to Iggy, she just had a sort of different body structure. You know, Iggy was really thin, and had sort of a petite build (even though she was actually still taller than me), and a very model-y body. Actually, even as boys, both Fang and Iggy could have made it big as male models.

Fang had a slightly wider build, not fat or anything, just like she had bigger bones. Wider hips, broader shoulders, but still pretty hot. Especially with her hair now.

Anyway, we are getting ice-cream. And ice-cream is very, very good, so I'm not gonna think of anything besides what flavor I'm gonna get for a while.

We loaded back up into mom's car, and she switched it on and began towards the nearest Ben & Jerry's. Iggy and Nudge were chattering about clothes and hair (Nudge still retained a small amount of girlyness, and Iggy was getting into it). Gazzy was humming softly, I think it was something from Harry Potter actually. Angel was staring out the window, subconsciously stroking his bald head; it was sort of cute.

But I had the sort of feeling that things were going to get really, really fucking weird around here…

And I was sort of scared.

Okay. Not my longest chapter. I'm sorry about that. Also, I want to say that from now on, the fic will continue as sort of a sequence, in order of time, of sort of short stories. That's much easier for me to update than an actual story-type thing. So, things will stay as they are. However, no place-to-place time-to-time stuff. I hope you understand what I'm getting at. Okay?


20. Magnificent Handlebar Mustaches

Okay, guys, I hast finally decided to write the next chappie. You should all be overly ecstatic.

Oh, and I was riding the bus home today and thinking of nothing in particular, when suddenly this question came to me; are Iggy, Fang and Gazzy circumcised? Crazy, odd, and weird question, I know, but it's been dogging me since then. I MAY BE ODD AND HAVE A DIRTY SENSE OF HUMOR, BUT I DO THINK ABOUT STUFF! I really don't know what else I have to say to that. Please read on.

Fang POV

"Guess what?" Nudge asked as we sat at the table for breakfast. It was morning (obviously, otherwise we wouldn't be eating breakfast), and the sun had just about risen.

"What?" I asked, staring at Iggy's butt while she made us pancakes.

"I'm growing a mustache!"

The outburst caught me off-guard, and I turned my gaze to Nudge's face in surprise.

"A mustache?"

"Yeah! Isn't it great?" Nudge advertised his upper lip, where, indeed, facial hairs had begun to grow.

"Uh, sure Nudge. It's awesome."

Iggy turned back towards us with a grin. "Nudge, you're growing a mustache? That makes you very manly."

"You think? Because I thought so too." Nudge nodded. "I think it got a lot longer since last night. What should I do with it when it grows out?"

Iggy tapped her chin thoughtfully, stirring the pancake batter. I went back to staring at her butt.

"You should wax it."

"You think?" Nudge went cross-eyes trying to look at his mustache.

"Yeah," Iggy nodded. "Waxing is cool. It makes you look French."

"Hmm…" Nudge stared off into the distance, stroking his mustache with one finger.

Iggy suddenly let go of the wooden spoon she was using to mix and doubled over laughing.

"What?" I asked.

"I dunno… must be hormones," Iggy managed, still crouched near the floor. "You know, they can do that to you on your period."

I blushed when Iggy mentioned that, because of course it made me think of her… you know.


I turned to see Angel glaring at me and wearing… a leather jacket. Yeah. A leather jacket.

"What? What is it?" I asked, panicked.

"Stop checking Iggy out!"

I stood there for a moment, my mouth gaping. I assume I looked pretty much like a fish just then. Nudge fell silent, and Iggy stopped laughed and looked at me with the weirdest expression. Then she stood and walked over.

I panicked, pretty much freaking right there. Great. Now my best friend knew I thought he-she was hot.

"Do I really look that good?" Iggy asked thoughtfully.

"Uh…" I managed.

Angel shook his head and pulled the sleeves of his leather jacket down, walking over to sit next to Nudge.

"Because, dude, you realize I'm still a guy? Most of the time."

"What do you mean, most of the time?"

Iggy looked around, you know, as best she could being blind and all, then put her hand to the side of her mouth and whispered.

"I'm sort of bipolar most of the time. Ya know. Guy one second, chic the next. As you probably noticed, now I'm a guy." I raised an eyebrow and looked down at Iggy's rather promiscuous shirt – it showed a lot of cleavage. Iggy then rolled her eyes. "In my mind, not my body."

"Ah…" I continued to stare at her. "Uh, I'm a guy all the time."

Iggy cracked a grin. "That would explain a bunch. Like you checking me out, for starters. And drooling over that chic at the checkout at Ben & Jerry's."

"I was not!" I objected, putting my hands on my hips.

"Whatever you say, oh Fang of previously-few words. I know how a guy sounds when he's checking a girl out. I was a horny guy too, remember? I know all."

I stuck my tongue out at her, aware that she couldn't see. At least she'd be able to smell my morning breath.

"You know, it really hurts my feelings when you never tell me what you guys are doing," Iggy suddenly spoke up, and her expression turned from smug and smirking to hurt and shy.

"Oh, uh, I was sticking my tongue out at you," I said immediately, caught off-guard by her sudden girlyness.

Iggy smiled softly. "Thanks. I'd appreciate it if you did that more in the future. I hate being left in the dark."

"Uh, um, sorry."

"It's fine. Let me go finish the pancakes." Iggy turned and walked gracefully back to the stove, where my eyes instantly fell to her, yes, butt. But I shook my head out of it.

That little encounter had just reminded me that Iggy was my brother. My guy friend. He wasn't really a girl any more than I was. It wasn't right for me to try to get it with him.

However, I decided, it wasn't hurting anyone to continue checking him out…

Hey, don't judge me, I'm a horny teenage guy! On the inside, at least.

"WOW!" Nudge suddenly shouted, jumping out of his chair.

"Whoa, that's sort of weird," Angel added.

"What is it?" Iggy asked, turning to them. I looked at Nudge and gasped.

"NUDGE! How did that happen?"

Nudge shook his head, mystified, as he stroked his now full, bushy mustache.

"I was just sitting there, and had this tingly feeling. Then the mustache grew!"


There was a pause, and thumping of feet running down stairs.

"I'm not sure, but was that Max?" Iggy asked, and just then, Max burst into the room.

"MUSTACHE!" he shouted. And yes, he now bore a rather long and very bushy mustache.

"Yay! You have one too!" Nudge cheered, jumping up from his chair. "And yours is so full and beautiful!"

"MUSTACHE!" Max shouted again, turning to me and gesturing emphatically.

"Yes, Max, it's a mustache," I answered, and suddenly wished that Max was still a girl so, you know, she'd have boobs instead of a mustache. Mustaches aren't all that sexy on girls.

"MUSTACHE!" he shouted, turning to Nudge and Angel.

"Oh! Let's go wax ours together!" Nudge cheered, grabbing Max's arm and dragging him out of the room.

"MUSTACHE..!" Max's final wail echoed in the kitchen for several seconds.

There was then absolute silence as Angel, Iggy and I all stared in each other's general directions.

"Well, that was extremely awkward," I said.

"No way, you think?" Iggy asked, grinning. Oh, back with his guy persona. "Oh, and Max and Nudge had mustaches? What'd they look like?"

"Well," Angel began. "They were very long. And very, very bushy. And lush and glossy. And very beautiful."

Iggy raised an eyebrow.

"Wait a second. How did they randomly grow mustaches? I mean, it's not like Fang and I had 'very long, very, very bushy, lush, glossy, beautiful' mustaches when we were boys."

Angel pondered that for a second.

"It must have to do with them changing into a boy. All their hormones and genes and stuff changing. And suddenly, their mustaches are as long as they would be if they had always been guys and had never shaved," was his response. Iggy nodded thoughtfully.

"I wonder if my mustache would have been long and bushy and glossy and beautiful if I had never shaved it. Did they look good, Fang?"

I thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess, for girl-turned-guy mutant bird-kids with mustaches. Yeah, they really did look good."

Iggy smirked. "I hope they don't shave them. I wanna feel them first."

Ella suddenly walked into the room, looking behind her as she went with a perplexed expression.

"Why the heck do Max and Nudge have long, bushy mustaches? Oh, Iggy, that shirt looks really good on you by the way."

Iggy blushed. "Thanks. And apparently they grew them in about ten seconds."


Dr. Martinez walked in next with Gazzy, both looking behind them as Ella had.

"How come..?" Dr. Martinez began, but Iggy cut her off.

"They grew them," she said shortly.


"That was my response!" Ella burst.

"Hmm…" Gazzy copied Dr. M.

"MUSTACHE!" came the faint voice of Max from wherever he and Nudge were.

"YES, MUSTACHE!" echoed Nudge's answer.

Iggy put out plates of pancakes and we all sat to eat. A few minutes later, Nudge and Max entered the room bearing spectacular handlebar mustaches, waxed to perfection. Max looked dazed, and Nudge looked euphoric.

"MUSTACHE!" Max squealed, and Iggy nodded, patting his shoulder and guiding him to his seat.

"Yes, Max, mustache. Now sit, and eat your pancakes."

Max complied, getting syrup in his mustache.

"I'm totally keeping mine!" Nudge informed us all.

"Mustache!" Max peeped through his mouthful of pancakes.

"Yes, yes, it's all fine," Iggy whispered softly, patting his arm. Max shuddered and went back to eating.

"Really?" Ella asked, looking doubtfully at Nudge's spectacular mustache.

"I like it," Nudge answered defensively.

"You might want to trim it," Dr. Martinez said, also looking doubtful. "I don't think an eleven-year-old with a handlebar mustache is quite normal."

Nudge crossed his arms and pouted.

"Mustache," Max sighed, pushing his cleaned plate away.

I shook my head. This family was pretty fucked up.

"Don't say 'fuck'," Angel said absentmindedly.

"What did you just say?" Max asked, snapping out of his daze and frowning murderously in Angel's direction. Angel shifted in his leather jacket.

"Uh… I thought Fang said it out loud!" Angel protested, holding up his hands.

Max turned to me. I have to admit, his handlebar mustache really increased the potency of his death glare.

"WASN'T ME!" I screamed, and jumped up and rushed out of the kitchen. I heard Iggy laughing at me from back in the kitchen.

"Maybe I should keep the mustache, too," Max said thoughtfully.

"NO!" Ella and Gazzy shouted simultaneously.

"Why?" Max sounded slightly hurt.

"It… well… let's just say it looks a lot better on Nudge," Ella replied uncomfortably.

"YOU ARE DESTROYING MY SHITTY SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY!" Max screeched, leaping up and rushing out of the kitchen. I ducked behind an armchair to hide.

"A handlebar mustache that can increase the deadlyness of death glares gives her a sense of individuality?" Dr. Martinez whispered.



I shook my head and waited for Max to exit. Then I entered the kitchen again and finished my pancakes.

"I'M CUTTING IT OFF!" Max shouted from what I assumed was the bathroom. "OH, LOOK, THERE GOES THE RIGHT SIDE!"

"Max, don't do it!" Nudge shouted, getting up and rushing to the bathroom.


"NOOOOOOO!" Nudge sobbed, and a few moments later they both returned, Max with a cleanly-shaven face and Nudge with tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping off his handlebar mustache.

The rest of breakfast was spent with Max glaring at everyone at the table with his arms crossed, and Nudge softly crying – in a very manly way, he'll assure you – into his pancakes.

Afterwards, Max made his way to his room, and Nudge went to the bathroom. Me, Angel, Gazzy, Iggy and Ella were in the living room when suddenly, we heard them both shout.

"WHOA, WAY COOL!" came Nudge's voice.

"EEP!" Max shouted. "BEARD!"

Hmm… quite an awkward, very random chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I made it extra-long, just for you guys. Please review!