40 Harsh Things Max Could Say to a Naked Fang by EdwardAddict

A/N: I was browsing through a chain letter archive and saw this. I just thought it was too hilarious to pass up.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. I also don't own the list thing. I changed it to fit the characters, but the rest is the brilliance of a chain letter writer.

Claimer: I own the finished product. And I did add ten of my own. XD

40 Harsh Things Max Could Say To A Naked Fang

1) I've smoked fatter joints than that!

2) Aww, it's so cute.

3) Why don't we just cuddle?

4) You know, they have surgery to fix that...

5) Make it dance!

6) Can I paint a smiley face on it?

7) Wow, and your feet are so big...

8) It's okay, we'll work around it.

9) Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

10) Oh no... a flash headache.

11) -Giggle and point-

12) Can I be honest with you?

13) How sweet, you brought incense.

14) This explains your car.

15) Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

16) Why is God punishing me?!

17) At least this won't take long.

18) I never saw one like that before.

19). But it still works, right?

20) It looks so unused.

21) Maybe it looks better in natural light.

22) Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

23) Are you cold?

24) If you get me real drunk first...

25) Is that an optical illusion?

26) What is that?

27) It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

28) Does it come with an air pump?

29) So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

30) I guess this makes me the early bird.

31) Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...

32) That's it?

33) I still love you, Fang.

34) Is this what made Iggy blind?

35) Umm...

36) Oh... Well, that's...nice.

37) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! HA!

38) -Mumbling- I guess I'm not losing my virginity for a loooong time.

39) -Silence-

40) Soo...I'm late for that thing I have to go do. So, I'll see ya later!

Then Fang runs away to join the circus, where they will appreciate his...uniqueness.

A/N: Poor Fang. xD

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